good news all around...but i'll explain later :)

so i totally don't remember writing that last post...kinda strange.  oh well.

in the past two weeks, i have slept in 9 different places.  how fun is that?!?

1-i think maria has gone off the deep end.
2-i refuse to walk around brooklyn late at night with no cell phone.
3-the house i now have keys to in staten island freakin rocks.
4-passion was fun.
5-the midget bed at lauren's apt, isn't as comfortable as it may look.
6-it feels good to be back into the full swing of things in the big city.
7-my namb report was only a week and a day late.
8-i've decided i'm leaving the city at the end of july instead of august.
9-i got an email yesterday saying that my apartment in alabama is $30 cheaper than the price i was told it would be to begin with.
10-the only borough i didn't go to yestereday was queens...that's right-manhattan, brooklyn, staten island, and the bronx-in one day.

the end :)

not only did i find an apt today, but i also fixed my old computer!  it only took me two hours.  don't ask what i did to fix it, cuz i'm not totally sure.  but i do know that it works now (for the first time in 6 months) :)

found an apt today............in alabama, not nyc

so i have a place to live at the end of aug, now i need to work on having a place to live until then :)

how the crap does this happen (specifically the high/low)???

one day you're out

enjoying nature

and just having fun with life

and then the nex day

you are preparing to be

homeless

what can i say, that's just how life goes sometimes :)

*i place my left hand on a bible and raise my right hand*  i swear to tell the truth, the whole truth...oh wait, i swear to take more pictures than i have in the past 6 months!

so here a few of the pics from the past month and a half...

iris and niki on the way to the college retreat (the first of 9 days of rain)

7 of 11 youth ladies that i enjoy being with during the after school program

clothing sale on the street corner of 7th st & ave B

adele (tim's favorite smelling person at graffiti-and she gives lotsa kisses too!)

just tryin to find a scarf for the harsh winter ahead

jill and i after the clothing sale

lorie, niki, me, and maria...at the church retreat (which was the first day of sunshine after the flood)

miss maggy...big enough to be a two year old, but not quite one yet

silly mal...as usual

the three babies of the family...maggy, mal, and me

and i promise not to post all the pics at the same time either :)

it's gonna be a long night.  i just found all of my cds and now i'm puttin all the music on my laptop.  *yawn* 

tonight i went shopping and found some shoes...two pairs actually.  some tennis shoes, much like the ones i have now, but new and not so worn out and some rain boots.  i went a coulple of weeks ago to get rain boots from target in brooklyn but only found snow boots.  but since i'm in the south right now, i found the rain boots!  i'm not sure how i'm gonna get this stuff back up to nyc with me.  i might just have to wear most of my clothes :)

i've been teaching my oldest neice my phone number.  she's almost got it memorized.  so she'll be callin me from now on. 

scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
i've never felt so torn before
seems i don't know where to start

but it's now that i feel
your grace fall like rain
from your fingertip
washing away my pain

i still believe
in your faithfulness
i still believe
in your truth
i still believe
in your holy word
even when i don't see
i still believe

though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises i still seem to bear
even when answers slowly unwind
it's my heart i see you prepare

the only place i can go is into your arms
where i throw to you my feeble prayers
in brokeness i can see this was your will for me
so help me to know that you are near

gosh, what an incredible song!  three years ago this was the song that kept me breathing.  and even though circumstances have changed, i can still relate to it.  it makes me thankful for all that God has done for me and in me. 

Thank You God

it rained and was kind of an ugly day, but that didn't keep it from being a wonderful day.  i was at samford all day and got to see a lot of people.  had an excellent meeting with one of my professors!  and got to hang out with old friends all evening. 

and here i lay at 3AM, wide awake and thinking.  gosh, this hasn't happened since...i can't even remember the last time.  i'm pretty sure it was the coffee at 8PM that is still having it's effect on me now. 

nonetheless, i'm kinda excited about being back in school for my final year next august.  i'm looking forward to what all i can learn.  i'm such a nerd :)

i'm back in alabama for the first time in 6 months, as of about 28 hours ago.  and yes, i feel for nathan on his dial-up...i'm there right now too :(  it's not a pretty sight!  anyway, i can't complain cuz i've just spent the past forever with my neices. 

the flights weren't too bad yesterday, considering it was my first time to fly in a year and a half.  met some cool people on the planes and in the airports, as well as did a bit of fundraising.  went today and saw emily, the girl i babysat all last semester, and her parents helped out with the fundraising too. 

last night mal, my oldest neice-4 years old, wouldn't stop crying when she had to leave to go home.  so i ended up having to go to her house to pick her up and bring her back here to spend the night.  she then woke up at 4AM and woke me up to ask me if it was time to wake up.  after telling her no several different times, she finally went back to sleep.  then she woke me up at 7AM to ask again...of course then it was actually time to wake up.  so we went to chickfila for breakfast this moring...that's right-CHICK-FIL-A!  and i had sonic for lunch...mmm.  then tonight my mom made me baked beans with meat in it and potato salad and grilled hotdogs.  all that weight i've lost in nyc over the past 6 months, i will gain back during my week here in alabama. 

i miss nyc and my friends there.  oh, my neice keeps saying, "i missed you at new york. i don't want you to go back. when i get bigger like you i'm gonna go on a plane to new york."

AUBURN/alabama game tomorrow...WAR EAGLE!!!

official countdown: 3 days!

that's right, i'm gonna be back in alabama in 3 days.  kinda hard to believe, it's been over 6 months since i left. 

the rumor is that the kids only have half a day tomorrow at school, that would mean no after school program tomorrow...right? 

...not my real life!  yeah, that's exactly what i was thinkin last night as the events unfolded.

so last night was interesting...but really fun.  took jessica and jasmin to a christian hip hop concert in the bronx.  got there mad early and ended up helping set up.  which the girls absolutely loved wearing the backstage passes and getting to talk with cross movement (that's one of the groups from the night.)  and that's really all that needs to be said about the evening for now :)

Gentle Reminder

Desperately, helplesly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased would you be.
You would have what you want -- But you would not know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save (for a start)
but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
but, oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT."

Not Yet

Sometimes I ask the question, "My Lord is this Your will?"
It's then I hear You answer me, "My Precious Child...be still."

Sometimes I feel frustrated, cause I think I know what's best.
It's then I hear You say to me, "My Busy Child...just rest."

Sometimes I feel so lonely and I think I'd like a mate.
Your still small voice gets oh so clear and says "My Child...please wait."

"I know the plans I have for you, the wondrous things you'll see.
If you can just be patient, Child, and put your trust in Me.

I've plans to draw you closer. I've plans to help you grow.
There's much I do which you cannot see and much you do not know.

But know this, Child...I LOVE YOU. You are precious unto Me.
Before I formed you in the womb, I planned your destiny.

I've something very special I hope for you to learn.
The gifts I wish to give you are gifts you cannot earn.

They come without a price tag but not without a cost;
At Calvary, I gave My Son, so you would not be lost.

Rest Child, and do not weary of doing what is good.
I promise I'll come back for you just like I said I would.

Your name is written on My palm, I never could forget;
Therefore, do not be discouraged when my answer is ... "Not Yet."

yesterday's after school program was a bit odd.  previously i had not sent anyone home, but yesterday i sent 9 ladies home.  9...in one day!  it was because they were all late.  so i had them call their parents and tell them that they were leaving graffiti and coming home-and then i escorted them out of the building.  i ended up with 2 ladies in the program at the end of the day.  think about it...i would've had 11 there yesterday with absolutely no help.  sometimes God looks out for us in unexpected ways.  i mean, i hate to send them home-i want them at the program.  but i honestly wouldn't have been able to handle all 11 ladies yesterday with no help.  blessings in disguise :)

i started out the week staying overnight out in jersey (thanks susan).  it was exciting to be in a car again and going to IHOP-rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity :)  and we finally had our first meeting at BMCC with a definite direction of where the conversation was going.  it was a great time, and we're meeting earlier next week so that their friends can join us.  did i mention, i'm not a morning person?  again, blessings in disguise :)

and the official countdown...14 days

so life has been quite busy lately...definitely fun and exciting, but very busy.

and i got hit on the head this morning by the falling shower curtain rod-OUCH :(

hmm...so i wrote and then it got deleted so i will not write again (at least not for now)...bye bye

this was posted by a friend of mine, and i think it speaks the heart of most Christians of this generation:

I was hungry, and you formed a debate team and debated the pros and cons of world hunger.
I was imprisoned, and you crept away busily hoping someone would somehow find time to visit me.
I was poorly clothed, and in your mind you disapproved of my lack of style.
I was homeless, and you preached about the spiritual shelter of the church.
I was lonely, and you left me alone to pray for me.
You seem so content, so pleased with your Christianity, but I'm still hungry and lonely, and cold.
--Anonymous

Dad, make me into someone who fights for those who don't have a voice, or can't find it anymore, or don't have the strength to stand up with those who do. Change my heart to not be humiliated to share my heart with or for "the least of these", and help me see You in the least likely to find.

since i'm currently watching THE FOG (the 1980 version) and i'm scared...i thought i'd do something else as well. so here i am:

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? eyes

2. How much cash do you have on you? i've got some coins, does that count

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? best

4. Favorite planet? jupiter

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? jennifer benardi


6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? sweet home alabama


7. What shirt are you wearing? samford hoodie and under that a sae jong staff shirt

8. Do you "label" yourself? no, but others call me ghetto

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? new balance

10. Bright or Dark Room? bright

11.
What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?


12. Ever "spilled the beans"? it's possible

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping, oh wait, nevemind-i don't know

14.
What did the last text message in your cell phone say? how much were those milkshakes we got for ur encouragment-from stephanie (which i just realized i never replied)

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? i don't ever see them cuz of the amazing pop-up blocker

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? i don'tk now

17. Who told you they loved you last? my mom

18. Last furry thing you touched? my boots

19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? none, but i kinda need some...for my cold

20.
How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none that i know of

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 21

22. Your worst enemy? uhh, i don't know

23.
What is your current desktop picture? me, karen, and katie at cw at the high ropes course

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? (someone said call me when you wake up tomorrow and i said) ok, i'll call you around 3, i'm out

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? major regret

26. Do you love/ like someone? is this a trick question


has anyone else seen those uno commercials? since when do card games have their own commercials? seriously...

don't think i'm complaining or anything...it's just all around me. it rained for the full 48 hours we were at lake pinacle this weekend. although i wasn't fond of the rain at the camp, i sure was glad i wasn't having to endure it in the city. and cuz of the fog i wasn't really able to see too much of nature. but it was refreshing, nonetheless.

so the yankees and red sox are out. i'd like to see the cardinals and white sox in the world series...we'll know the two teams in just a few short days.

oh, i enjoyed my first real holiday off today. went to target and picked up some items, such as food and a bag and snow boots :)

and it's back to work tomorrow! can't wait for the weekend-church retreat...

do ya ever have one of those weeks were everything goes wrong? and ya just kinda sit back and wonder what you're really doing here? well, this past week was certainly NOT one of those weeks for me!

dude, this week has been wonderful. it was refreshing to not be in nursery or be teaching a bible study on sunday. besides running around getting permission slips copied on a broken copier and things like that, i was able to just enjoy being at church. the after school program on monday stretched me a bit. i realized that even though the ladies don't have any real discipline problems, i still can't run the whole thing by myself. i need help! and then tuesday and wednesday were both wonderfully smooth days for the after school program. a few of the highlights:

*the ladies are starting to embrace the devotion time and have a ton of questions
*angel listened to christian music and loved it
*a 30 minute french lesson with a few of the ladies that didn't have homework-and are actually taking french
*we've established some order, as far as schedule and discipline go

and then today-training was alright. but that whole-not being worth anything for a couple of hours after lunch-really kicked in and i got quite bored. but whatever, all is good. and then had the opportunity to get things accomplished for the concert series.

DEC 3 @ 6PM-first concert at graffiti...with focus definitely coming. the other artists are still being decided on. and we've got a show cookin up for sometime in march. and then a festival/block party type of thing for june with a lot of different artists.

God is good...i could've just said that at the beginning and then not have to write anything else.

whew...made it through the nursing home, the afterschool program, and the encouragement lunch! no one died at the nursing home and no one died at the after school program and no one died at the encouragement lunch-so all was a success :)

seriously though, there was a fight and shooting in thompkins square park on wednesday. thankfully God was looking out for us and kept us all safe.

and i also cleaned my room. like really CLEANED my room tonight. i think stephanie's a little worried about me :)

and i'm babysitting all day tomorrow...yay! 9 month old chloe and 6 year old keegan, it'll be fun but tiring.

i'm out...

highlights of this past week, once again...

*kareem showed up ready to do the nursing home, so i didn't have to
*got a lot of work done, but spent very little time in the office
*DDR...self-explanatory:)
*lunch on bmcc's campus with nikki and monique, which will become a regular thing now
*lock-in was mad fun, only the last hour (clean-up) was whack
*babysat chloe-9 month girl

things to look foward to this week:

*nursing home (i'm looking foward to it being over, cuz then i won't have to do it again until november)
*after school program-mon, tues, and wed!!
*finally getting our FIRST encouragement lunch (pretty sure by wed we'll be needing it)