as i sit in my church's office in nyc on sept 11, 2005...

i'm able to reflect on how God has worked in my life over the past four year. four years ago i was fighting the calling into vocational ministry. i was getting ready for a trip out to texas to check out baylor and tcu. and looking forward to playing soccer at one of the two while pursuing a degree in physical therapy/sports medicine. what's that song say...if you wanna hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! that year, my soccer plans were ended with a couple of broken ankles that i refused to let heal correctly before i started playing again. in turn, causing me to not be able to play competitively ever again. also came the realization that i hate studying the human body and that i was more interested in the human mind and soul. and the birth of my first niece made me want to stay close so i could see her grow up.

through many other life changes over the next three years which i don't care to spell out in detail, i now find myself in nyc. i had it all figured out 4 years ago and now i don't have a clue where i will be in year from now. but i do know that i will be exactly where God wants me to be...wherever that is.

monday was labor day-a holiday, but i still went into work. but not until 2PM, so i definitely got to sleep in. at work the office was nice and quiet with only a few stragglers coming through here and there. in other words, i actually got some work done!

tuesday i woke up early so i went into work early. as people came into the office they kept asking me if something was wrong...they aren't used to seeing me that early in the morning. but once everyone got there, not much work got done. oh well. i did go shopping in the afternoon though for a couple of dance pads and a ddr max game :)

wednesday work was done out of the office. jeff and i met at bmcc and checked some things out. made a connection at the college that will be beneficial in the months to come. then we made our way over to baruch college just to see what it was like. we don't know anyone that is a student there and almost didn't even get to enter the main building. after getting in, student life wasn't to sure of what we had to offer and the person we needed to talk to wasn't even there. so needless to say, that trip wasn't as successful as the one to bmcc. but the experience was good to have gone through.

i got a new york public library card today. watch out libraries...here i come!

my niece starts kindergarten tomorrow :( why do they always grow up???

gettin back into the swing of things at work is difficult after being on vacation for so long. i'm excited about it all though. tomorrow is labor day but i've gotta go into the office cuz i took saturday as my vacation day instead. i did that cuz katie was in town. it was great having someone around that really knows me. it was sad walking out of the airport to the bus and knowing that it would be a while before i see her again. and i started to think about all of the people i miss right now. but then i also remembered where i was at and what i was doing and then all i could think about was how much there is to look forward to in the future.

with katie in the city, we did a LOT of walking. a good 7-10 miles both friday and saturday, with a few more miles today before she left. saw a lot of the city i've seen before, as well as many other parts for the first time. oh, there's a walgreens at the bottom of the empire state building...who knew! i also did some shopping since this past week was the 'tax free' week here. had dinner on saturday night at the espn zone, yummy food and lotsa football. today for lunch we ate at cafe rakka in the east village. the best falafel i've had!

whew, with all that said...i was pooped when i finally made it back to my apt this afternoon. so...i slept a bit. and now i need to get some work done-yuck. oh, the next five months at graffiti will be very interesting. with taylor and susan gone, everything that is talked about on sunday mornings will point to "graffiti-a church that serves." i knew several churches had grown out of graffiti, but didn't know much more than that general statement. today i learned that those churches include:

mosaic manhattan-young professional church located around ground zero
lighthouse church-chinese church in the east village
journey-young professional church located in midtown
creator's circle-native american church
graffiti 2-for the lower income in the south bronx
underground church-a church for the hardcore metal/punk rockers in the city
tribe-a church for the community of artists, musicians, performers in the east village
shuar adonai-a chuch for the jewish in lower manhattan

this just proves how great God really is. and how God can work when people seek after and follow God's leading. it's very encouraging to see results. and it's also just a small reminder to continue to trust God to work when it is impossible to do on our own.

and i'm out on that note...

that means: katie is on her way and the start of college football :)

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: 1 (3) days

only took me 30 minutes to get down to the east village today! and i got to work WAY before 10 (9:45)!!!

yay me :)

when you are using a gas stove, make sure it lites when you turn it on. cuz just letting the gas run will cause the place to stink up. just thought i'd share a bit of wisdom.

it was great to be back at work today. walked about 4 miles or so. went shopping for a dance pad for the ps2 we are getting...for a little ddr competition. finally figured out my finances. it only took three months to do so.

i'm kinda missing school...in a way...but not really. it was the first day of classes in the bubble. do i miss the bubble? absolutely not! will the majority of the samfordites ever break outta the bubble? i'm gonna be pessimistic and say i doubt it. but hey, God can still work in the bubble just like God works outside of the bubble. just gotta get it all into perspective, i guess.

oh, regarding my previous comment about who i would murder and why...pat robertson apologized for his statement about assassinating the venazualan president. so i should probably do the same for my statement about robertson and falwell. i don't wish them death even though sometimes (most of the time) i don't agree with how they try to intertwine faith and politics. they live under the same grace that i do, which allows us to be able to live despite making mistakes. shoot, if someone had murdered me the first time i was a horrible representative of Christ, i would've been dead a long time ago. isn't God's grace amazing?

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: 2 (4) days

i've had this song stuck in my head all day...dangerously in love by destiny's child

I love you... I love you, I love you

Baby I love you, you are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side
You're my relation and connection to the sun
With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrops, I am the sea
With you and God who's my sunlight I'm blooming, grown so beautifully
Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl
You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world


Chorus x2

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me


I know you love me, love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am, baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy, easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me
Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife and I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you, sometimes makes me wanna cry
Realize all of my blessings, I'm grateful to have you by my side

Chorus x2


Every time I see your face, my heart smiles
Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes
Created in this world to love,
to hold, to feel, to breathe, to live you
Dangerously in love, yeah

Chorus x2

Dangerously (dangerously)
Dangerous, dangerously in love with you
Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

and why is that song in my head? I HAVE NO IDEA! it is a good song though, i guess.

anyway, it's officially wierd to not be back in birmingham and at samford now. but i can't spend too much time thinkin about it. got plenty of stuff up here to keep my mind off it.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: 3 (5) days

thursday is the first night! saturday is the first full day!! and the fun continues on sunday as well!!! do ya know what i'm talkin about??? COLLEGE FOOTBALL...YAY :) the countdown has begun: 4 (6) days

+ went to the beach alone
+ painted pottery
+ attended a movie premiere
+ walked everywhere for 3 consecutive days
+ scrambled an egg or two

and i gotta put the meaning of my name too, why not...

JENNIFER MORGAN:

Self-confident and sociable your sense of humour and free spirit attracts many friends and admirers. You enjoy the material and sensual pleasures of life but your humanitarian ideals lead you into works which will make life better for everyone. Your creative imagination, shrewd financial sense and enjoyment of life brings worldy success to you in abundance.


and it's back to work tomorrow, aka church...YAY!!!

Survey thingy time:

1. Spell your first name backwards: refinnej

2. Story behind your name: my mom liked the name, so that's what she named me

3. How old are you: 21

4. Where do you live: new york city

DESCRIBE YOUR:

5. Wallet - it's brown?

6. Hairbrush- purple and black

7. Toothbrush- purple and black

8. Jewelry worn daily- cheap watch from walmart and some type of earrings

10. Pillow cover- purple (noticing a trend here?)

13. Sunglasses- black, but they are in alabama

14. Favorite shirt- any hoodie

15. Cologne/Perfume- my cool cotton degree deodorant :)

16. CD in stereo right now- don't have a stereo

17. Piercings- one in each earlobe

18. What you are wearing now- samford hoodie and auburn sweatpants

19. Wishing- i wasn't burnt so i could go back out to the beach

20. wanting- to know how things will turn out in the future

21. After this- i'll take a shower and get ready to go paint pottery with my roommate

22. If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what- pat robertson and jerry falwell, cuz they are horrible representatives for christians and the sbc

23. Person you wish you could see right now- yeah, i don't think i'll answer that one-but if you really know me then you'll know the answer :)

24. Some of your favorite movies- monty python-quest for the holy grail, the princess bride, beauty and the beast

25. Something you're looking forward to in the coming month - going back to work

26. The last thing you ate - spaghetti

27. Something that you are deathly afraid of- heights

28. Do you like candles - absolutely

29. Do you like incense - the lavender stuff

30. Do you like the taste of blood- no, i don't think so

31. Do you believe in love - yes

32. Do you believe in soul mates - yes

33. Do you believe in love at first sight- yes

34. Do you believe in Heaven- yes

35. Do you believe in God - yes

36. What do you want done with your body when you die - i'm not gonna die

37. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be? siberian tiger

38. What is the longest you've ever stay up? - some 40+ hours

39. Can you eat with chopsticks- i can make it look like i can

40. What's your favorite coin - whatever is worth the most?

41. What are some of your favorite candies- anything chocolate

42. What's something that you wish people would understand about you - sometimes when i'm not talking it's cuz i'd much rather just listen

43. What's something you wish you could understand better- God's timing

44. Who is someone that you really wish was still around? my nieces

R e l a t i o n s h i p s
45. Who are your best friends? katie

46. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend- no

47. Longest relationship- about 4 years

48. How many actual relationships have you been in- 2

49. How many people have you kissed- oh geez, i lost count a long time ago

50. Are you shy around your crush- of course

51. Still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship with- yes, but it's not anyone specifically, it's just the feeling of having someone that makes me think about them

52. Do you know what it feels like to be in love- yeah

53. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends- yeah

f a s h i o n | s t u f f
54. Where is your favorite place to shop- old navy and gap

55. Have any tattoos or piercings- getting a tattoo

56. What is your favorite thing to wear- depends on my mood

57. What is a must have accessory- earrings

58. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing- $150?

60. Who is the least fashionable person you know- myself

61. Do you match your belt with your hair color- if i do, it's not on purpose

62. What is the worst thing you've ever thought looked good- just about everything i've ever worn

64. How many pairs of shoes do you own- i have no idea. i have about 20 pairs up here in nyc with me and many more down in alabama.

65. What is the worst trend you see today- i don't usually pay attention

everytime i wake up i try to figure out the reason why i have the dreams i do. ya know dreaming is a way for the brain to sift through all of the info that's has been put in during the course of the day. so i usually try to figure out what would've triggered certain parts of the dream from what happened the day before. so with all that said, let me tell you about my dream...

i had a lot of youth-from my first church back in alabama-over at my parents' house to all spend the night. ya know, sort of like a lock-in, except at the house instead of the church. they ended up writing all over the walls in the kitchen. and then the dream switched over very quickly to me being outside at a parade and i had a baby with me that i was calling my niece. i needed to find a bathroom, but couldn't. so for some reason unknownst to me, i just started walking. and i reached a certain point and decided that was good and just turned back around and started walking back to where i came from. while walking back i picked up the baby i had with me and it turned into a headless baby! and it didn't seem strange to me at all. i thought, "people probably think it's wierd that my baby doesn't have a head, but it's not really that strange. the head will grow on as he gets older." (meaning that this was my son, not my niece that i had with me.)

and then i woke up.

i can point out all of the different things that happened yesterday that would've caused each part of the dream. i won't bore you with all of those details, but i will tell you about the last part-the headless baby. yesterday, jeff, susan, and i went into banana republic after eating at cafe lalo. their manicans (is that the right spelling?) have no heads. there was one that i absolutely loved the outfit (for males). so as i was standing by it i put my arm in his and told susan and jeff that i needed a guy that would wear this outfit. susan ended up taking a picture of me and the headless guy. so you get the picture...me and a headless guy-we'd have a headless son...right?

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English
30% Dixie
5% Upper Midwestern
5% Yankee
0% Midwestern


What Kind of American English Do You Speak?



so what does this say about me? nothing really. ya know what brought up the dixie percentage...the "ya'll." and i guess i don't speak like any of them midwestern folks cuz i've don't like to hang out with them too often. i do like my upper midwestern (michigan) friends though. and the yankee...i don't know, i've only been here for 3 months.

i need some friends that stay out late. i'm wasting away in my apartment each night. can i go out by myself? will i meet people that way? will they be the kind of people i need to be meeting? or is it just this period of vacation that's making me feel useless? when work starts back next week will i feel like being out late at night? who knows...

i've had my rest and i've had my fun, now can i please get back to work! is this a sign? there has not been any other job that i have been wanting to get back to so much (except for camp.) so camp and church...hmm. have i ever mentioned what i feel God leading me to in the future?

does it seem strange that i write on here as if i'm actually talking to someone? and i know that i'm the only one that will read this. don't they usually send people like that to an institution? what's wrong with me? can i write anymore nonsense? who are they?

donde esta el banyo????????

so today i finally made it to the beach, after talkin about going for 2 months. went to south beach on staten island. only took an hour and a half and it was free transportation. not too bad in comparison to 3 hours out to long island for $20. but anyway, laid out for 2 1/2 hours and got completely burnt :) it couldn't have been a better day! it was in the lower 80s and the sun was shining bright and there was a constant breeze-such a lovely day. and it's supposed to be the same for the rest of the week!!!

lori has been in the city this week so i've dropped all my work at graffiti and become a tourist. it's been nice to get away from it for a little while. but being a tourist makes me even more thankful that i know i have a job to go to. in a way, the church is a retreat from the city. anyway, we've experienced:

} brooklyn tabernacle choir
} live with regis and kelly
} financial district
} chinatown
} little italy
} soho
} greenwhich village
} washington square park
} nyu
} statue of liberty
} ellis island
} wtc site
} times square
} central park

and she's done a few other things without me, as i had to entertain other engagements. it've enjoyed it and now i'm ready to get some sleep :)

it's late friday night/early saturday morning...however ya want to look at it. i spent all day friday alone in my apartment. no, please don't pity me, it was wonderful! God is amazing and is always speaking, just sometimes it's hard to hear. i posted the verses psalm 27:13-14. in most places but especially here in the city, it's easy to get caught up in the idea that things have to be moving forward constantly or nothing will happen. sometimes God calls us to just wait. wait for the Lord . another verse i came across dealing with this is isaiah 30:18. it says:

yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
He rises to show you compassion.
for the Lord is a God of justice.
blessed are all who wait for Him !

i have good plans for myself. but God has the best plan for me if i will just wait for the Lord . i have to wait . i need to wait . i want to wait . i can wait because God is in control.

i am still confident of this:
i will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
wait for the Lord ;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord .

questions that fill my head on a sleepless night:

1. in the laundry room of my apartment building, why are there 5 washers and only 4 dryers? doesn't that leave one load of clothes that has to wait to dry?
2. is there a signal that gay men send out to other gay men that goes undetected by the rest of us? don't they always seem to know who exactly is gay and who is not?
3. why does america not have a siesta time? wouldn't we be much more productive after lunch if we did?
4. what time is it? is it time to wake up yet?

i envy those that fall asleep as soon as they lay down. after 3 hours of tossing and turning i decided it wasn't worth it anymore. so here i am at 3AM...hmm.

things i can do at 3AM:
1. if i were in birmingham, i could go to late night cafe with alicia and order a calzone and only eat half of it
2. if i were in birmingham, i could drive to eric's apt and wake him up to go get an egg from waffle house, not ihop
3. if i were in birmingham, i could secretly steal the orange cones from campus safety
4. if i were in birmingham, i could go swimming in the fountain at samford

but ya know what, i'm not in birmingham...so what do i do at 3AM in nyc???

it's here! my three week vacation!! what do i do now? i feel like a lost puppy dog wandering around the city.

>went to fabio's bday party (seriously, how many people can say that)
>paid $20 to get a cab to church (yuck, that's like 4-6 meals that i'll go hungry now)
>got my hair cut (i didn't tell my youth girls i was doing it, they're gonna freak when they see it)
>let stephanie cut my hair (she did a fabulous job)
>had indian food for the first time (lindsey will be proud of me, still not ready for thai though)

-kurma looks like poop
-mushrooms taste like poop
-the subway smells like poop
-jazz sounds like poop

and the NAMB monthly report is POOP

thank you, thank you, that's all...

yesterday my pastor, taylor, made the comment...wow jenny! you really had the favor of God on you today!

and well, i feel like i have for the past two months. things have been incredibly awesome up here. i love everything that i do-everyday. this whole tlj thing was such a difficult decision to make-it was so hard to walk through that door. but now that i'm on the other side, i can't even imagine what my life would be like had i not followed God. reflecting on the devotion i did for revolutions the other week-i had good plans for my life, but God had better plans. and i can honestly say that i'm right in the middle of God's will for my life. and THAT is what has made the past two months incredibly awesome.

so yesterday i got a new laptop-long time coming! i love my little sony vaio :) and since we'll be using for stuff at church, i even got the tax exemption...plus a free photo printer. i spent 3 hours witnessing to the guys at circuit city. so i was able to walk away from the store with not only my latest investment but also knowing that God used me to get these guys thinking about spiritual matters. then had dinner last night with nikki and iris. those are two very funny ladies, and i know they'll be a big help with this up-and-coming young adult ministry at graffiti. and i'll end on that note, even though there's so much more to say.

highlights of the week:

~met terrell
~met jill
~remembered michelle's name
~made camp pics collage
~went to bmcc with lorie and nikki
~ice cream with debi in times square
~painted in the south bronx
~spend all day in the office wed listening to
rap/hip hop
~slept all day friday
~homeless meal and Bible study