well. last night was different ....

 i like different !!

   I spent the night at Erins She sorta needed me , and we stayed up til like 1 just tlking ,i was helping her w. something , but we had a lot of fun being goofy ,

 when i sleep i like to cuddle ( i also like to put my feet like right on top of her)she wont let me she makes me sleep on the other side of the bed!!!! =[ LOL.

 well, it was good to be over there i hadnt eaten all yesterday except for some salty peanuts, so i raided her cabinets!   [ you will soon learn that erins home is my home]

but anyways ,  i had too get up this morning at like 7 and her mom dropped me off! now im a little sickish, just tired i guess , my nose is getting on my nerves!

 you know im really excited about things here lately!! i still have to pray about it , but ive been praying for awhile & i think this is what God gave me! from my prayers! a few of yall know what im tlking bout.... it just makes me smile!=] Austin knows from a few months ago what i told him, & its funny how God pieces together things!

  on a sad note, Pray for my dad he was on his way to pick me up saturday night, and he got in his truck on forgot his keys , ran to go get them , & he tripped over this dog , and went flying on concrete , he leg is really bad , if he wouldnt have had to get me he woudnt ve gotten hurt! we will have to take him to the doctor , my dads a pretty strong person i hate to see him limping & stuff!=[

yeah thats it!

 not exactly sure how , but i got voilet!!!!! well, we look a little bit alike ..  but i dont i am like emo ....im sorta the exact opposite from her!!!

 IF i HAD A superpower i would want her Bubble force field!!! & being invisible i would like too ,=]

First , i wanna say I am not mad at anyone on here !

But I am a little flustrated because of one person on here!!!!!!!!

 insulted me in making me the idiot object .....

 then theres these guys who used to be my friends imed me , & called me ALL THIS STUFF!!!!it made me very mad! & every other line said 666 .... & it really made me upset !!!!!!!

 i was near tears, out of anger , ill admit that i was angry!! i didnt say anything mean to them , i was just u know what i think of this & they said wat?

 then i blocked them , i was sooooo mad !!!!!! its not wrong to be mad ...is it? i mean anger  isnt wrong its grudges , and hate that is wrong.....

 is it wrong to be mad ???

 upset ?? i know i have to let it go , but i want to hold on to it... but i know that it is wrong ....
 you gotta understand my frustration!!!!

wat 2 do?

 but i do wanna say my best made me cry tonite ... they were happy tears of hope

so ,... this is to be one of the best blogs i am ever to write!

Why do we act like nothing is happening inside of us when its written across our fake smiling face?

 cmon guys~ im Tired of living this way FAKE

 FAKE FAKE!!!! just pretend what im sposed to be...

 I wanna be ...... MYSELF! BUT im scared what if me is not good enough?=[ what if my friends dont like who i am .. its better to be me , & not liked , then someone everyone likes  , and not me , ITS A BATTLE INSIDE MY mind!& who really knows you might be liked MORE FOR WHO you REALLY ARE!!

 its Like im Talking to GOD , and im like "hey , im doing my best that i can" why do i lie to the all knowing?

 i like a guy , but i was scared to tell him , like the worst he could do is turn his head![ might i add he didnt] why do we look at things like that? dont look at things inside of you , & it must be covered up , but more as HEY LOOK i am different , People think Christians are FAKE , and to be honest we have that problem of acting like its ALL GOOD In THE NEIGHBORHOOD! LETS BREAK THE STEROTYPE!

why am i scared to be me?

why am i fake ?

i am scared to be myself , AND THATS THE GREATEST FEAR YOU CAN EVER HAVE!

 im not doing this anymore..... its all me ... im taking this on! its ALL ME!

 Just wanted to share whats on my mind !

Just another boy ,

 Just another chance at Love,

Just A  bunch of unfilled promises

         that we both promised to keep.

Just another friendship

  that we hope last forever!

Just another memory

 that seems to last a lifetime,

Just another oppurtunity

not to make the same mistake,

Just another dance

that we can step on each others toes,

Just another sweaty hand

that we say we won t let go,

just another kiss

we say we'll never regret.

 Just another Love note ....

 that will someday play our LOVE's song!

 - Elizabeth Allen

So i am reading this book, called Rachels Tears! its about a Girl named Rachel who died in the Columbine tradgedy! she was asked if she believed in God! she said"you know i do!'' klebold then said "go live w. him then" & was shot!the 2 guys that shot her , one reportedly had a crush on her, [he wasnt the one to shoot her !] but he ridiculed her , and called her a GODLY whore , & all kinds of names! why didnt he save her? ....

 Rachel was a strong Christian and at the talent show she presented "watch the Lamb" & she was made fun of! but she didnt care! i wish i could be like that , every choice made by me , is all about what others think!

   she died for what she believed! i thought about this & if i was asked"do u believe in God? " & they had a Gun pointed at my head , would i say Yes?its easy to tell you i would, but then actually being in that situation would I? would I die in his name?  i have to 100% honest at this....

   i hate admitting that i Dont know  if i really could ::hopefully i wont be put in that situation, but then that the greatest way i could die! my death would impact others!i should be proud to die like that! but then why is there so much fear in dyeing! why do i fear death? i should look forward to it!!shouldnt i?

 okay, now heres the question would you be willing to die for one who died for you? does anyone feel like i do?

 -elizabeth

"we don t know when our time is up , you cant die b4 your time , you die when its your time !we needda live like its our last day , because might be"

Well,kids!

i made it!!!

Easy enough !

 i got some stuff done , not as much as i would like to have though....

 Read 2 books (10 com. of dating, &measure of the heart)

      okay , you know how God gives you what you need b4 you even realize you need it? well, b4 church i had this unhappiness about someone , & i told erin & we decided i should just take a break  4rm them for a few days , dont call them up or nothing! we couldnt decide how 2 go about doing that & telling that person  ! & God was at work ..... he put the youth group lesson , and that challenge in front of me , so then i cant talk 2 them any possible way !!!!!yay!! .. anyways.

 tuesday i layed in bed most the day, wasnt feeling so great . i wasnt sick, just sorta not feelng too well..... just being a sissy!

  yeah & then i get on here , and i dont really feel to loved and all!! lol... its okay i totally understand! yall just needed a break from Elizabeth!

Yeah its true , our youth group  had aclass on addiction & starting monday i signed up for 3 days of pain!i  cant use computer , phone , radio, or tv ... pray i make it& dont tempt the easily tempted... dont call me ..okay .. cuz i will pick up ! im glad we didnt do food!!!! lol.

well, leave messages for me kids! love yall

it was awesome i made up w.kollin!!!!! Itwas just a mood yesterday[ ... hmmm.... someone no nmes begining w. myself and that person beng me! errr... needs to get checked 2 see if they are bypolar!!!lol.. no seriously!]brb ....

 well, today was great ... me & kollin are better than b4 ,wAY BETTER! WE AE FANASTIC!&  TONITE WAS REALLY SPECIAL TO MY HEART !!!!!  it all meant alot 2me!!! and i had a great time,and areally good taLk w. mom!!!! and life is sooo short , this day was soo short to me , its a vapor in the wind!!!!! its all memories now , .... moving on ..!!!

this is funny you guys! corey couldnt get in his house , today .... oh , it  was funny !!! soo.... he lifted me up , and i got in the window , and well, almost got straight threw, til i realize my butt...om ... was not gonna go threw...lol...... well, i tried , to make it work , but no go ...... so i scraped my leg ... GOOD NEWS I MADE IT threw !!!! bad ew leg is scraped ...lol. yay!

fun... reminds me of the time i got stuck in a baby swing in that feild of dreams park , they had to call the fire dep..... then i got out b4 the fire dep. got there , so we had to put me back in , & when they came , theyjust lifted theswing tipped me over , and i fell on my face ... TRUE STORY , too...loll

well, camp as a junior counselor ..

 was like nothing ive ever expirienced ...

 it was wonderful , but then it was terrible!!

 it was thrilling , yet boredom ran through my system!

it was easy , but then so hard!!!

 ive been harrassed by fellow male jr. counselors who think its hilarious when i get mad , and i cant help but laughing bc THE PRANKS & JOKES ARE DOWN RIGHT HILARIOUS!!!! i cant believe how much sleep i havent had .... 6 hours per night , is not enough to keep my engines running!!!

lol.....  i think i did  great , but its good to home

Hey Kids !

 im back from camp , i sorta missed mckennas wedding !!! thats hilariously sad , i wish i couldve been there , but i was exhausted and i sorta fell asleep , or sleep fel on me .... lol.

well, im back .. Yay! ... but then not Yay ! i loved it there ~ i had to much fun .....

 heres the most important thing i learned

your talk talks , and your walk talks , but your walk talks louder than your talk talks ... lol... seriously write that down and think about those words!!!!

 well, i missed you guys , but right now i miss my Kollin boy!!!!!

He was a real sweetheart , held the doors open for me , threw away my trash , held my bag , im serious , guys thats really attractive , especially when its a dudely guy , he had some muscles , and he plays post , and he loves God !!!!!!oh , and he had pretty eyes , im telling ya ....

  this is my second year w. him ,and e really treats me like a person , and some of you guys need to learn to treat your girls like that!!!!! i am sooo amazed ... i think this relates to how god treats us in away think about it!

well,  todays presentation was good !!!!~ im messed up some but it was still good both of them were ...... but i got mad at the team because of something , it really made me upset...! i was gonna go off on the team monday , bc it really made me out to be a liar , and im not ... i was soo mad i was even thinking about quitting the team , bc it just made me furious!!!! but when my emotions finally got intact w/ my head , and i remembered that it aint really bout all that i felt better ...!!! well, yeah , sooo .. i didnt mean to come off like i did sorry !. have a great day kids!

Hey hey Hey !   i hope this makes you LAUGH! its gonna be okay ,i know yousaid you feel weird , but in the future you will laugh , & really it cant be that bad at least not as bad as these....

Its OKAY to scream!

its okay to be sad!!!!

but DONT GO CRAZY!!!! tehehe.... love you!remember it will be FINE!

heres to help you guys through today!: (its what i think will help you right now according to what i know about how your doing ihope it helps someone.

Tamara -eccl.3:1-8 there really is a time for everything , and you are  gonna be awesum at the presentation doing carmens part ,you always are!~

tyler im gonna give the same verse as tamara  ecc.3:1-8 ... there is a season for everything , and also , many things in life go not the way we ever planned , but it all works out for the best josh.1:9b

Austin- i hope you have an awesum day , and even when your feeling lazy , just keep working hard ! no matter how much you dont wanna do it! i thess. 5:12-15

Corey- remember you have many friends , and when you feel alone remember you got me & jesus & the mime team!prov.18:24

Jacob- you are really growing , and dont slow up!!! i mean growing in more than one way , especially spiritually , and in mime , and even as a friend!!!col. 2:6-7

gracie- dont ever feel like you have to do things to fit in , bc your awesum , and i know you arent , but i want you know you are soooo cool, and you dont ever have to be liuke this world! Rom.12-2

Jarred- you are going through many changes , and that doesnt mean bad nor good! just change , you have a real talent , and you are good at everything you do .... do it to your best. col.3:23 .. u know it!phil.4:13

 hey yall read those verses! it will encourage yall!

okay i ve decided ill keep my phusebox afterall!!!!! i guess i love u guys way tooo much!!!!!!! im sorry for anyone who cried all night the night i said im deleting my phusebox ... i really didnt mean to make you sad . this means ive got to get all my friends back , and put new pictures up ... and waste a bunch of time... lol... but you guys are worth it , ... i think.