I was tired all day today. I've even forgotten what we talked about during church today. The only thing I remember is when we had free time between sunday school and service we talked about Spider Man 3. Go figure. After church I had a People to People meeting. Boring. When people were doing their projects I fell asleep. I felt really bad, but I couldn't stay awake. After that I got this really cute outfit at Target. I also had to get these gay khacki pants for our trip. I can't wait till' tomorrow so I can see my pick of the blonde twins and we get to run the book fair. Yay (to both!!!) Well I guess I should be going.

Keri's birthday party was so much fun. Batey, Carmen, Erin, Gen, Camino, and me was there. We were so goofy. We all went and watched Spider Man 3. It was so awesome. The graphics and sound was really good. It was one of the most emotional rollercoaster movies I've watched in a while. Everybody needs to see it. There were a lot of people there last night. We had to wait in this big ol' line. It was crazy. When we got back to Keri's we watched The Day After Tomorrow. I like the movie, but it's kind of weird and freaky. When my parents watched when it came out a long time ago I couldn't watch it. After the movie we talked for like three hours on so many topics it's not even funny. But our main topic was boys. Mainly the hot blonde twin. ;)

This morning when we woke up I wasn't really that tired. I'm still not really. I'm tired hyper. We all got ready to go to the parade which was a bust. It was so boring and so hot. But me and Batey got these really cute bags. They have like a bikini design on them. They are so cute. All of us also got these finger puppets. We all need to bring ours Monday. ;) While we standing there was this girl in a wheel chair, and she like grabbed onto my shirt really tight and wouldn't let go. I didn't want to make her family feel bad, but I was really scared. I didn't know what to do. They had to like pry her off of me. It was really weird. We went to Batey's mom's classroom to cool off. It was pretty fun, and we got to meet the guy she is going to ask to prom. (Which she should be doing right about now. Good luck, Batey!!!)  Carmen and I looked for the blonde twins, but we didn't find them. :( Oh well, I can't wait for Monday. Supposedly Camino has this plan that's going to get them to talk to us. I hope it all goes well. Well I should go. I need to finish my homework for tomorrow's People to People meeting. :( I hate it!!!

I'm so glad Gateway is over. I thought the test was pretty easy, but I still don't think I did very well. But I guess I always second guess myself. I'm just glad I don't have to do anymore review. Wait I take that back, we still have to review for the end of the year test. We algebra kids have it so bad. We have to take t-crap, gayway, and end of the year test. Oh well we get to go on a field trip no one else does.

I'm so excited. I get to go back to writing club tomorrow. It seems like I haven't been in like forever.

I think my friends are annoyed with me. But I get frustrated because when I look sad (which is a lot) they ask me what's wrong. I tell them, then they get mad. I guess because they hear about it all the time, but what I say is how I really feel and I don't know how to change it. I can't help that I have no self confidence, can I? I don't know what to say anymore. I think I'm just going to start reading my book at lunch and not say anything so they won't be mad at me.

Right now I'm sick of Algebra. Actually it wasn't that bad preparing for Gateway today. I got to be with all my best friends. I know Carmen's happy. ;) And that was really embarrising. No ofense Carmen, but you talk REALLY loud. Sunrise was just looing at us like we were retarded or something. But I guess we are. I'm still a little worried about the test tomorrow, but I did pretty good on the practice test today. I only missed six, and that's better than the highest score you can get. Go me!!! Right now I'm really stressed out about science fair. All I really have to do is put it on the board. But I still need to find another leftie to help me with my project. (Carmen would you like to assist me with using your little friend who just so happens to be a leftie?) Nothing really extrodinary happened today, well except at lunch but that's another story. (And yes Carmen you do stare a lot. ;))

While my sister was at dance we went to the Lighthouse book store. I got this pretty cool book. It's about finding out who you really are with God in mind. There's all these questions that make you think about how you really feel about things. One of the questions was to write three things you really don't like about yourself. My top one is that I don't like how I'm always concerned about what people think. Like if people are really my friends and stuff. I'm always constantly frustrated that no guy likes my. I mean obviously some guy somewhere likes me. Right? Right now I wish this one guy would like me, but he never will. (Carmen, don't say anything.) Oh well, I should be going so I write back later.

I saw like everyone today. I saw Carmen, Sydnee, Hayley, my sister's friend Abby, and my friends from church. I got these two really cute pairs of flip flops. I love flips flops. If I could wear flip flops all year I would. I hate wearing socks. I also got these two really cute shirts and a pair of capri pants from Goody's. I saw Carmen at Goody's. You looked really cute. ;)Today's a day where you want to spend as much time as you can outside. I like days like today. They are refreshing. They remind me of vacations to Florida.

My little cousin's parents left this morning for a cruise so he's staying at our house all week. I love him, but he's really annoying. All he wants to do is play video games. And guess where my mom decided to put all his games. In my room. So I can't even watch TV or practice my dance. I can't wait till' January so I can be on a cruise not worrying about school. It will be my fourth cruise so I can't wait.

I was looking through my journal entries to see if I had changed any and to see what I thought about then. It was kind of funny to see what I actually thought then.

Anyway's I found this poem I wrote that I like the meaning and all, but I don't really like how it's written. Ms.Redden thought it was really good, but I wanted to see what yall thought.

"Who I Want to Be"

I want to fall into emptiness

I want to fall into the sea.

I want to become who

I've always dreamnt to be.

I want to be the girl who everyone knows

The girl who doesn't constantly worry about her clothes.

I want to be noticed by someone (Joseph ;),

anyone at all.

I want to feel the joy

of people who have it all.

I want to fall into emptiness

I want to fall into the sea.

I want to become who

I've always dreamnt to be.

I don't want to be shy anymore

I' coming out of my shell.

I don't know just quite how yet,

but I'm breaking free somehow.

I want to fall into emptiness

I want to fall into the sea.

I want to become who

I've always dreamnt to be.

I'm so sorry Keri. My mom wouldn't let me go to the play because I had already promised Shauna two weeks ago that I would go to the movies with her. I'm so sorry. I wanted to come really badly.

We went to go see Kickin It Old Skool. It was really dumb but funny. It was like Napolean Dynamite all over again.

I plan on coming to your presentation tomorrow, Carmen. My said I could go to that because I don't already have any prior arrangements. Keri, you need to show me all your play parts when at your b-day party. I can't wait. You do want a iTunes card, don't you. Just making sure. ;)

Today we had Field Day. I don't know if we won or not. Ms. Murrell said we were winning, but this afternoon, my friend Catie on the Maroon Team said that their hall won. I hope they didn't win,so then we can spend a half day outside so we can talk to our friends and listen to our iPods. No one really payed attention to the outside sports. Everyone just talks to their friends. I payed a little attention to the baseball game. I saw Joseph make a home run. It made me really happy. He's so cute, but he'll never like me. He's too popular to like somebody like me.Ms.Murrell told Austin and Bradley that we wanted their autographs.

I can't wait till' next week. We are starting writing club back up next week. I'm so excited. I haven't got to see Ms.Redden that much this nine weeks. It will be fun to hang out with her again. We get to work the book fair too. That will be fun. I'm asuming we scratched the idea about the magazine because we really don't have time to make one. Oh well. I only sumbitted one poem, and it wasn't even that good.

Today was weird because we had different classes because of the play cuts. They were really funny. Keri, if you are reading this, you did awesome!!! I plan on going to the play tomorrow night. My mom's sick today so we can't go tonight. Ahh...I can't wait till' I get my new phone. I hate the one I have now. It's so STUPID. Tomorrow's our field day. I'm not playing anything. I'm just going to be a spectator. But I look forward to talking to my friends and no school work (and getting sunburned ;).) This week was a reall bad week for Spirit Week. I'm going to try to work around Clash Day and wearing something that I won't get hot in tomorrow. I'll probally wear stuff and then ask Ms. Murrell to change out of all of it.

It seems like everyones worrying about guys lately. I really like this one guy. He's nice, but he popular so he'll never like me. Oh well. I don't need to worry about that stuff right now. I need to be worrying about my science fair project. It really stinks that only the advanced classes have to do it. I guess that's what I get for being brilliant. ;) Oh well, my project pretty easy to do so that's good.

Well I should be going so I'll talk to you guys later.

Today we had a bomb threat. This guy found a threat note in the bathroom. We had to sit outside for a long time. Then it started raining. Really hard. Everyone got really wet. Why have there been all these threats since the VT accident. Do people think it's cool? It's not. It's retarded. Did you guys that went on the Beta field trip have fun? It was sad without you here at school.

Today was our all A college field trip. We went to David Lipscomb. It was pretty fun I guess. I was more fun when we went to Bellmont last year. But we also didn't have to do any school work though, so that was good. They had really good food. I can't wait till' college. I want to go to a private Christian college, and I want to major in journalism. I got this really cute shirt. I just wish Keri and Carmen could come. :( If you guys are reading this, I love you. I didn't get to see you guys like all day. :(

Today was Dressy Day. I had these really cute shoes, but they really hurt my feet. I have these really bad blisters. It didn't help much either that we walked a lot today. Tomorrow's Patriotic Day. I don't really know what I'm going to wear tomorrow. Oh well.

I'm going to miss all my friends tomorrow while they are on the Beta field trip. I would be going if my mom hadn't forgot the due date for the money. Thanks mom. But I think she should have taken the money. I mean a lot of people did the same thing. Oh well. Tootles.

I'm reading this really good book called In Search of Eden. It really shows how small our world really is and how even if we don't know it, we could effect people's lifes on the other side of the world. The author writes Christian novels.

This teenager has a baby. (Which is bad, but it's still a great book.) She goes in search of her. But what she doesn't know is she has found her daughter already.

Everyone should go and read it. Now.

Today was a whole lot better than yesterday. I wasn't all depressed. We did have a talk about my entry yesterday. Carmen and Keri was like why does it even matter what popular people think. I really don't know. I don't want to worry about what people think about me, but I do. All the time. I just get so frustrated if everyone doesn't like me. Which I guess no one will ever like everyone, but it's doesn't hurt to try does it?  Then this girl Kristen was like no one makes fun of you Megan. But they do. No one seems to understand that. And it's not just teasing. It's really cruel stuff that would make even the strongest person cry. If I could have a super power it would be immunity to people's cruelness. We got to help with the play today in literature. (Our literature teacher is the drama director.) Sarah and I got to go to Miss Moore's room to get paint. We got to "drive" the steering wheel. People gave us some pretty weird looks. (Sorry. That's another worry about what people think.) When we were dissmissed to put our stuff in our lockers, I went to Synee's locker with her. When we got outside they told us that Miss Redden wanted to see us. She told us that she told us to wait outside the auditorium. She told us that we need to listen better. I almost started crying. I hate when teachers yell at me. (Not that they do a lot or anything.) I feel so stupid and bad. I don't think Miss Redden likes me. I thought she used to, but now I don't know. It always seems that all my teachers hate me. (Sorry.)  I think Sydnee thinks that I like Joseph. She's always like because you like Joseph. I mean he's cute and all, but he would never like somebody like me. I mean he's always giving me these weird looks. I don't know. Well how was yall's day. Let me know. Tootles.

Today started out OK. After finishing TCAP (for the last time in my life, thank you) we went outside to play the quiet ball game. (My friends didn't. We talked.) We made a star with out feet,and Ms.Murrel took a picuture. We talked about music and listened to our iPods. I tryed flying. It didn't work.

My day got bad in music. It was good at first because Keri and me were looking at her book, Peeps. I was reading the weird parts in it. Then this obnoxious guy Joe (may I add he's popular) threw his pencil over near us. When he bent down to pick it up he put his butt on me and farted. It was really embarrising. All his friends were laughing at us. He did it to Keri next and then back to me. He even sat on me. Everyone was saying that it was really mean, but they weren't doing anything about it. Sometimes I feel like trading all my good friends in so I can be popular so nobody would make fun of me. And yes I do get made fun of a lot. And then I get even more embarresed because I start to cry. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I just can't handle it anymore. I can't wait till' high school so I don't have to deal with those people.

Sanjaya is going home!!! I'm so happy. When it was down to Lakisha and him, I started freaking out. If she went home, I would never watch American Idol again!!! I'm so happy!!! Sorry Carmen. ;(

Isn't this what we all want? I do. I just don't know if I'll ever get it. Carmen seems to get it and then lose it. At least she has some kind of loveish life. I don't have any admirers except little kids. Oh well, I have my whole life I guess. I'm just way to impaitent.

So today was a good day. We went outside today, and that was a lot of fun. We probally looked like a bunch of fools though to most people. (We are very loud.) We were keeping Keri's lucky puppy and feather away from her. Sarah was singing very loudly. We were just being our normal selves. One bad thing about going outside is that I keep seeing him. Most of yall don't know the story behind it, but if you were on my hall last year you most likely know. It just frustrates me so much. I'm going to end up 50 and not married. Nobody's ever going to like me for real (except losery elementary and sixth graders.)

I feel so stupid right now. Why didn't I try-out for cheerleading. I was just saying the other day that I feel so lonely without it and now I won't try-out because I don't think I'm good enough. I totally chickened out at the last minute. I'm so mad at myself right now. Oh, well, I still have dance.

So we had TCAP today. It was boring and easy as usual. They put some of the easiest questions on those things. I really don't see how people can get below profiecient, when they are so easy. Well I got to go so I can get some rest before tomorrow's tests. See yall.

My mom and me went to the movies today and saw Disturbia. It was really good, but it was one of those movies were you don't know what's around the next corner. After the movies, we went to Goody's to and got my dressy day outfit for spirit week. It's really cute. I can't wait to wear it. We also got my prom dress. I like it, but I just wish it wasn't some cheap $90 dress that I got from Goody's that probally 10 other people will have. I really want to go to prom, but I'm really nervous. I've haven't went to one dance all year and I'm afriad I won't know what to do. I just hope my friends come. I'm going to call Sam and see if I can get ready at her house. So did yall have a good Saturday. I did. ;) Well I got to go and practice my presentation for tomorrow's People to People meeting.

Today's lunch was really fun. Keri was talking about what she would name her child, and she thought of Yo Mamma. It was really funny because everyone was thinking of instances where it would be funny to use their name. Like, someone asked who you were taking to prom and they said Yo Mamma.Then when we were walking back to class Carmen was talking about were she heard about were people in Africa throw their babies against the wall and the sound they make is their name. But if that was true how do they come up with the really complex names? Well got to go. See you later alligator.

Today's lunch was really fun. Carmen was spinning her tortilla thing in from her lunch and it went flying across the table. I was eating when she did it and when I started laughing I also started choking. I couldn't breathe for like 30 seconds. Then she was flicking pineapples at people. One hit this popular girl and she was looking around to see where it came from. Another one fell right in the middle of this guy's plate. I also noticed today how boring the popular people lunches are. All they do is sit there and eat. I would hate to sit there. I would go crazy. I laugh at least half of my lunch with my friends. When we were walking back me and Keri were talking. I hit her with my lunchbox. She started screaming. Mr. Cochran (our social studies teacher) was like ladies. Keri told him that I had hit her and he just told her that I would never do something like that. That's what you get for talking to Carmen all through class, Keri. Then when we got back in the classroom, Keri started chasing me around the room. Got to go. My mom just got here with the pizza. Write tomorrow. ;)

I'm seriously going crazy right now. I just can't handle my dad. I don't think he means to, but he constanly makes my feel bad. He'll tell me to do something and go right in behind me. Then he calls me back in there and starts yelling saying that I need to redo it because it's not right. He's constanly nitpicking everything I do. Then I start crying and he acts like he doesn't have any clue what's wrong with me. And he never lets me voice my opinion. Even when I'm right about something he tells me that I should listen to him because he's the parent. He's also said before that it doesn't matter what my mom  says because he's the boss.  I just can't wait till' college so I don't have to deal with him. I know that's really bad to say, but you just don't know my dad. It's really frustrating sometimes. What's even worse is that when my mom, sister, and I are at church he's at home watching TV on the couch. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just really don't know.

So today was an acutally OK today considering it rained. I don't like rain. It makes my hair crazy. I mean really crazy. #:( ( My afroish hair.) Nothing really exciting happened today at lunch or school. I guess everyone felt bad because it was an icky day. I had fun tonight at dance. We learned new parts. It will be really cool looking if I can get it down. I can't wait till' recital. All of  yall have to come and see me. I would be really happy. I got my new dance t-shirt tonight. It's really cute. It's blue with Vibe and the little guy on everything in pink. I'm going to wear it tomorrow. Do we have a color? Oh well.  Well I got to go so see ya tomorrow.

I helped my sister with her science project. We bought one of those styrofoam planet kit things. We had to paint them because we couldn't find any pre-painted ones. Oh well...painting is fun. Carmen was really funny today. She was drinking a yorgut thing and it said shake before using so she was shaking her whole body. She made up the name Convulsion Carmen. Epileptic Eve. There wasn't anything else really that funny or exciting today.

Have you ever wondered if people talk to you because they feel bad for you or if they really do like you. Mainly popular people. Just wondering. It's just some times I feel like a charity case. Oh well I have my real friends and they don't. That's all that matters.

So obviously, everyone had a great weekend. My little cousing spent the night with us last weekend and went to church with us this morning. We went and ate lunch with my Nannie Donna. When we were driving home my sister asked my cousing what the meaning of church was (he doesn't attend church regularly), and he said the Easter bunny. My sister was like are you joking. My mom told her to calm down and tell him what Easter was all about. After she was finished he was like, that's good, I'll remember that. It was really cute. I think he likes coming to church. He said he wants to come back next week. Monday's color(s): Earth tones. ;)