So for the Australia trip I'm leaving for in a little over a week, I have to take a picture album of about 20 pictures to show the host family I'll be staying with for three days. I need some ideas of what to take pictures of to put in my album. Of course I'll have pictures of my family, friends, and pet. But no offense guys, you can only have to many pictures of yall'. Not that yall' aren't great, but I need more pictures to show my whole life. I was thinking like my church, school, and dance studio would be good ideas. And maybe some of the places we hand out at. So what do yall' think would be good ideas?

We were in Sunday School when somone said that Evan Almighty is making fun of God. I kind of agree, but I also kind of like the movies. So I wanted to know what you guys think. Do you think it's just a harmless movie for enjoyment, or is it mocking our God?

Have you ever felt like as soon as summer hits your whole active/non-active schedule is thrown off balance? Like, you can sit in school all day and not be that bored, but when you're at home for more than five minutes you go crazy wanting to do something. Anything at all. And you CAN'T sleep! No matter how hard you try you keep getting up to check your e-mails or instant message. Even when you know everyone else has been alseep long ago. (Except not really. Well at least not my friends anyway.) This is also probably the reason a lot of us sleep until noon during the summer. You also can never get full. I'm always hungry and looking for something to eat. And why does it seem like there is never anything to watch on TV during the day? (Well, it might be that I still watch Disney Channel. So it's mainly kid shows that I don't want to watch. Don't they realize there are bored kids out there that are above the age of five looking for something to watch?) Well maybe it's just me, but it always seems to be the same way every summer. I'm just glad this summer I get to be doing something totally fun that lasts more than two weeks. (Australia, here I come! I can't wait. It's going to be so much fun!)

I mean obvioulsy God has a plan in store for us that's going to be great, but why must we have to go through so many down falls along the way? I mean it seems like I'm losing all my friends over a misunderstanding. I mean does God really want me to lose a great friendship? What could possibly come out of this that's good? I don't see any silver lining to this cloud yet. I mean maybe there could be one, but the only thing I want to come out of this is I want my friend back. That's all I'm asking for. How hard is that? Apparently a lot harder than it looks because I'm still friendless.

I've decided I'm  just going to let God handle all my problems. Friend and dad problems. I've done all that I can humanly think of, and I'm really tired of trying to fix things that apparently don't want to be fixed. I should have gotten used to that things just go wrong for me. I mess the best things up. I can't keep a friend to save my life. I guess I'm just a horrible person or something. I don't know. Well I'm just going to have to pray long and hard about it. Maybe things will get better. I really want them to. I really do. Just be praying for me that I can handle all this and get things back to normal.

1.I hurt one of my best friends feelings.

2.I can't change that.

3.I want to work things out and move on.

4.I want to crawl into a hole and die, but I know that's no way to fix any problem.

5.I don't know what to do anymore.

6.I losing all my friends FAST.

7.I feel so stupid right now.

8.I'm sorry for everyone I've hurt.

9.I want to make everything right, but I have no idea how to even begin.

10.I need to let God take care of all of this.

 

What do you do when you've hurt one of your best friends? How do you show them that you're extremely regretful for all you said and all you did? How do you ever regain their respect and trust?

For you who know I'm talking to, I'm extremely sorry. I hope you don't hate me forever. I'd like the chance to talk to you and explain everything. But if you don't want to, I understand completely.

This is a great little saying. Learn it and live by it. Remember the past, but live in the present because you cant control the future.

So like all my friends are going to be gone over the next two months while I'm sitting here bored. Well I guess I'll be having fun in Austalia too. But I'm still bummed. I won't be able to talk to my friends for like twenty days. That is a very long time. I mean I freak out when I can't talk to them for like a day so I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm going to have to work something out. Got any suggestions?

So her birthday was a lot of fun. We went to the mall and shopped and stuff. Then we went and ate at the Aquarium Restraunt. We actually fit five people into a picture booth. It took forever to get situated, but in the end it all paid off for a wonderful pic of us. Right. ;) When we got back to Batey's house, I think we had the most fun. We went outside to play truth-or-dare and ended up singing worship songs. It was a lot of fun. When we got back inside we had to go moth hunting. Yes, moths were attacking us. ;) This morning we had chocolate-chip pancakes that were really good. Especially since I haven't had them in like forever. Well I should get going. I talk to you guys later.

We are having our church luau this Saturday (the 9th.) It starts at 4:00 and goes till' 8:00 at Liberty Baptist Church in White Bluff. It's on White Bluff Road, and it's the last church right before you go over the rail road tracks. Any of yall' who live near there should come. I'll be working booths, so stop by and say hi. It will be a lot of fun.

I'm so confused right now. I don't know what to do. I really like this guy, but he's not really in the same group of people I'm in. (He's popular.) Carmen thinks I should call him, but I don't know if I should. I have planned out what I want to say, if by chance I do call him. Which I really want to. I mainly just want to get to know the real him. What do you think I should do? I mean there are advantages, but there are also some disadvantages. Carmen thinks I should not even think about the disadvantages because we not even in school so it's not like his friends can laugh at me for the rest of the year because he thinks I'm totally stupid for calling him. Maybe she's right. I want her to be. What do you think I should do?

I found some cool quotes that have made my sad, sad, sad life a little better.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Eleanor Roosevelt

After the game,
the king and the pawn go into the same box.
Italian Proverb

The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.
Elbert Hubbard

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

This totally describes my life right now. I think I'm going to take this little piece of advice, and stop dwelling on the little things that made me happy this year and dream of the huge things that will make me joyous next year.

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will.
Epictetus

Every artist was first an amateur.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This isn't really a quote, but it makes me really happy.

Girls are like on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along. The one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

(I can't wait for my tree climber. ;))

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
St. Clement of Alexandra

Fortune favors the brave.
Publius Terence

He who hesitates is lost.
Proverb

This isn't really an inspiring quote, but it's how I feel about certain people right now.

I'm torn between the two.

 I really want to be with you,

but something tells me I should leave you alone.

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
~ by Elizabeth Bowen

After the game,
the king and the pawn go into the same box.
Italian Proverb

The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.
Elbert Hubbard

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

This totally describes my life right now. I think I'm going to take this little piece of advice, and stop dwelling on the little things that made me happy this year and dream of the huge things that will make me joyous next year.

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will.
Epictetus

Every artist was first an amateur.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This isn't really a quote, but it makes me really happy.

Girls are like on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along. The one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

(I can't wait for my tree climber. ;))

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
St. Clement of Alexandra

Fortune favors the brave.
Publius Terence

He who hesitates is lost.
Proverb

This isn't really an inspiring quote, but it's how I feel about certain people right now.

I'm torn between the two.

 I really want to be with you,

but something tells me I should leave you alone.

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
~ by Elizabeth Bowen

I'm having so many emotions right now. I'm really sad because eighth grade and middle school's over for ever. I cryed like all day long. I've felt so stupid all day today. This morning I missed my chance for ever to talk to Joseph. I really hate myself for that right now. I started crying this morning in homeroom, and Austin asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I was like it's just because it's the end of the year, but Carmen told him what was really wrong. That I'm sad that I won't get to see Joseph all summer. (Carmen, if Austin ever calls or e-mails you, you so have to get Joseph's # for me.) Austin was like oh. We tryed to explain to him that I couldn't just go up to him and talk to him because they are popular and I'm not. He was like you're popular too. I was like have you not been alive for the past year. What are you thinking? Then I found out Joseph was checking out early, and I just started crying extremely hard. When he was leaving he patted my back, and now I wish I would have done something or at least tell him bye and have a good summer. I've been all mad at myself the rest of the day now. I talked to Ms. Redden outside. She made me feel really bad, but I know what she was saying was true, and I should try to be more like she said I should be. Today when the bell rang I couldn't help it anymore. I just started bauling. Lane and Charles gave me a hug, which is really weird, but nice I guess. Then I saw Ms. Murrell crying, and I thought I was going to die. Keri and I walked to House Blend, and the whole time we cried and talked about how we are going to miss middle school and we don't want to go to high school. We met Jessica there and talked about how we felt and stuff. Jessica told us not to worry about it right now, but I just can't help it. Carmen got there a little later. After talking a little while I felt better, but I'm still really sad. I felt really stupid at House Blend today because I was rambling on about nothing because I felt so out of my body then. Have you ever just felt so dumb because you say one thing and then try to fix it but just made things worse?  Have you ever felt really self-concious because you have to hand out with somebody you doesn't like you, but you don't want to sit by yourself?

Well on a happier note, Kentucky Kingdom was awesome yesterday. I had so much fun. I mostly hung out with Carmen, Keri, and Batey. Austin and Joseph were so HOT. We got Ms. Murrell to ask them if they would ride a ride with us, but they said they were done riding for the day. I think it's because they just can't stand me. Two times yesterday I got embarresed while getting ketchup. The first time I was trying to figure out which basket it was in and I hit my head on the window. The second time was in the restraunt Austin and Joseph were in. Austin said my name, and I got embarressed so I just walked off. I had so much fun yesterday, I can't even remember all the stuff that happened.

I made hip-hop team, but the bad thing is Aleisha did too. That means I have to spend three times for two hours a week with her. I plan on just not even speaking to her unless nessecary.

I can't sleep right now if my life depended on it. I know I should try to go to sleep because I have to get up extra early tomorrow because we are leaving at like 5:45 for Kentucky Kingdom. (Yay!) I just have so much on my mind lately. School might as well be over. I don't want it to. I've loved this year. I've met so many new friends and made other friendships stronger. And no matter what anybody says I think I've become a little more outgoing now that I look back on this year. Some of the things I've did this year, I never would have done before this year. I think it's partly because this year I've made all the right friends, who I'm pretty sure like me for who I am finally. It feels like it's been so long since I have had really good friends. Friday at lunch we were talking about the end of the year and stuff. We were saying we don't want to leave middle school behind. I think it's because when I left elementary school my "friends" left me, and I'm so scared it'll happen again when I go to high school. I know it probally won't, but I just never know. I don't know what I would do if it happend again. I don't know if I could handle it. I guess the other end of not wanting to leave middle school is because I'm afraid I'll leave my friends next year. I don't want that to happen either. I just wish I could stay in eighth grade forever. (Or just stay with the people from eigth grade.) I'm going to try to make the best of tomorrow because I don't know if I'll be friends with those people come fall. In only four more years and I'll be headed off to college. I still feel like a little kid in elementary school. Things are ending way too fast, I don't know what to do. I want to stay friends with everybody after high school, but I know most of my friends now will find better stuff and leave me here in Dickson to rot by myself. I'm crying so hard now, I can barely see the screen. ;) I just don't deal well with change. I just want to kick myself in the butt because I've let so many great oppurtunities fade away in my life. I'm tired of just sitting there, being a home-body. I want to do more things with my friends, but nobody ever invites me to do things, and I don't have anything exciting to invite anybody to. If anybody else feels the same way I do, let me know so I know I'm not some crazy who doesn't know what she's talking about. Well I guess I should try going to bed now, or I'll be a walking zombie tomorrow. ;)

I'm so nervous about recital tonight. I feel really bad because nobody's coming to see me but my family. But I guess that's because I didn't tell anybody. But I don't think anybody would come even if they knew about it because I'm never able to go to anybody else's stuff. I'm so scared I'm going to mess up, and I'll look stupid. I'm really mad because hardly anybody in my class this year even cares about dance. Half of the people haven't even been through the whole dance once without stopping to talk or answer their cell phone. I feel really bad for them because I don't want anybody to forget something and mess up. Oh well, hopefully everything goes as planned. Maybe. I hope.

--------------------------------------Rectial was...OK. I think I messed up a couple of times though, but who doesn't right? I'm just glad we didn't have to use the dressing back stage this year. It's always so crowed. I hope I make dance team so I can do production and have more than one costume. And then my costumes will actually be cute, and not ugly ones.

So school almost over for eigth grade and middle school, and I'm actually really kind of sad. I want to go to high school, but I also don't want to go to high school because I'm so scared about getting lost and having no friends. The other day we had an assembly, and Ms. Southerland said we wouldn't have the same friends next year. Now Carmen and Keri are being all pesimistic and saying that we won't be friends next year. :( I think I'm actually going to cry now. I've never had a friend for like ever that just not a really good friend. Someone who even though you're not in classes together you still are like best friends. It seems like everyone else has one. I guess I'm just a big dork, nobody wants to spend more time than they have to. I just really want a friend to be friends with no matter what. I guess I have my friend Shauna I've continued to be friends with even though she's home schooled, but it doesn't feel the same. Well back to the school ending thing. I really am going to miss middle school. I'm going to take up two whole camera cards tomorrow of people of middle school so I'll have some kind of memory of them, because apparently nobody wants to be my friend next year. Do you? :'(

How was prom, guys? I wish I could have gone. Who all was there? I know Carmen, Keri, Milby, Sydnee, and Jessica all went. Did you guys have a lot of fun? I had an OK amount of fun at City Fest. TobyMac and LeAnne Rimes sang last night, and Barlowgirl and Craig Morgan sang today. I was amazed I actually didn't get sunburned being outside all day for two days. But I did hurt my foot because this guy, Chase, in my youth group was stepping on everyone's feet. He made me trip and slide down the hill. He's really annoying, but he's pretty cute. (Although he's in sixth grade.)

I can not wait to open the pool and go to school tomorrow. We had to help take off the tarp off the pool today. (Which I hate.) We cooked out at my aunt's today after church. That was fun hanging out with the fam. I just realized today that I won't be here this year for 4th of July. I'll be in Australia. I hope we get to some kind of fireworks thing. Oh well, we'll see...

Oh, my goodness. I've had so much fun these past 24 hours. Last night at the Sounds game was awesome. (If you get honor roll or perfect attendance, you get to get to go to a Sounds game, but nobody really watched the game. We just socialize for about 5 hours.) Well, anyway it was so much fun.We saw this license plate that said hacker on it. Being the nerds we are, we thought computer hackers first. Everybody was thinking hackers, like chopping stuff off. So being the even bigger nerds we are we thought about hackers who track your info, and then come and hack you. Hacker squared. Carmen and I wanted to find Joseph and Austin. We thought the would be in the ice cream parlor, and they were. Then we wanted to find them again. We thought the would be at the kids juming thing, and once again they were. Austin and his friend Jacob (who has the most bubbly eyes I've ever seen in my life) got in trouble because they were wrestling in the jumping thing. All of their friends left except Joseph. He was looking around for them for a few minutes. He was walking out and he was like were are my friends. He saw me and was like, oh here she is. Then he patted me on the back [ ;) ], but sadly he said he had to go. We did other stuff too last night that didn't invovle guys, if you're wondering. Everytime we saw people with alcoholic beverages (which was about every person old enought to drink) we would scream. (I have a very bad fear of that very bad stuff. I hate it. Just to let you know drinking, smoking, and cursing, are my biggest pet peeves.) Also everytime we saw couples hugging or kissing, we would be like Leave Room for Jesus! When we loaded back on the bus, these seventh grade kiddlings were waving at us, so we started waving and blowing kissed back. It was so funny. Ms. Crossman was like they probally think they are picking up pretty, eigth grade girls.

Now for today. We went on our algebra field trip today, which was awesome. When we were going to Percy Warner Park all these popular guys were talking to us. I felt really important. And two of those guys happened to be Austin and Joseph. We were just...I don't really know what we were doing, but it was hilarious. Guys are so weird when they are together. They talk about stuff I'd rather not say aloud. I never knew that they actually acted like that. We took some awesome pics at the park. There is all these trees and creek and stuff that is so pretty. We've all agreed we are coming back to take our senior and wedding pictures there. Yes, I want to get my wedding pictures taken in a creek. It is rather Tennesseeish, but it would be so pretty. I plan on putting those pictures we took on here, but I can't do it right now. Then we got to eat with all the guys at Shoguns. While we were waiting for it to open was one of the best moments of my life. We got so much attention from the guys. It was great. Well while were eating Joseph looked at me a couple of times and smiled. It was so cool how the cook did all the fire stuff. I have some pics of that I'll put on here too. We got fortune cookies, and mine said Good things will come your way in due time. (What do you think that means. I know what I want it to mean.) When we were going back to school, Austin and Joseph listened to my iPod. I'm never losing those earphones. ;) Well,Carmen wrote this note to Austin:

Carmen: Hey Kid, Why aren't you going to prom? Just asking. Carmen.

Austin: Huh? Cause it's boring.

Carmen: K...sorry.

Austin: Huh.

Carmen: I said I'm sorry you think it's boring. You're missing out in my opinion. I know someone that wants to go w/Joseph.

Austin: (Spoken) Who?

Carmen: I can't tell...plus she can't go...but it's Megan.

Me: (Embarressad.)

I don't know if this is a good think or not. He said he alread knew that. But that's bad right. I mean if he knew, and he liked me, well... But he still talks to me, so that's good right? I don't know, but I can't wait till' Monday. Carmen and I are supposed to be taking Austin and Joseph to eat on the Writing Assessment field trip. But I don't think he'll because he probally thinks I'm weird and some kind of stalker or something.

I had dance try-outs tonight. The dance was so cool, but so fast. At first I couldn't keep up, but then I got it and I was so excited!!! We had to do turns. Which I love, but  don't do very well. I also got to do my hitch kick. Which is like the my best thing I can do in dance. Everyone was like whoa. your's are so good. It made me happy. The only down sides were that we had to free-style for THREE EIGHT COUNTS!!! And Aleisha was there. She makes me so angry sometimes. When she's away from her popular friends she's really nice and fun to be around, but at school you can forget it. But now that I think about it, I was a lot more outgoing when her, me, and Betsy were best friends. Oh well, I have friends that don't flip-flop like a fish out of water. I think I did ok tonight. I didn't do horrible, I guess. All I can do is hope and pray. Oh yeah, I have pictures tomorrow at 9:00 in the morning with my ugly dance costume. ;)

Keri, I hope you're not mad because I yelled at you. I was just getting really irritated with all the twa stuff. And I was already irritated by that stupid song. Well it's not really stupid, I just don't like who sings it. That was really funny when Austin said he studied Bucky. That's pretty weird. ;)

There is way to much drama at school right now, especially being the end of the year. I don't want to go to high school, but I also wish everyone could be friends. I'm really sad we only have two weeks left of school. I really like my hall this year. I have a lot of great friends, and I don't want to lose them next year just because we don't have any classes together. (All of you, and you know who you are, we have to get together all summer. We also have to stay friends throughout high school no matter what. I don't want to lose you guys.)

I'm so stressed about school even though it's like almost over. I'm scared about science and our stupid roller coaster. And literature. Our story thing is a pretty good idea, but our class hasn't even gotten to get into our groups yet. I don't quite know who's in my group either, but Meghan told me it's Joseph, her, me and I forgot the last person. But I get to work with Joseph!!! I'm so excited!!! I was probally like the only person who wanted to work on our story today. Oh well, we'll probally work on it tomorrow. I hope. I really do hope. ;)

I was watching Oprah (yeah I know) one day and they were doing this thing were they were trying to get everyone to be friends and do away with cliques. One of the activities they did was that they got in small groups and had to go around and say if you really knew me you would know...

Well here's some for me:

1.If you really knew me, you'd know that I really do have a lot of confidence. I'm just to shy to show it and I don't know how.

2. I have family problems.

3. I actually do want to be popular.

4. I put up a barrier of niceness.

5. I wish I could just sleep through everything.

6. I want to build a time machine and do things differently for about everything in my life. (Not just with guys, Carmen.)

7. I care too much about what people think.

8. I'm embarrassed by my family.

9. I want to lose about 20 pounds.

10. I think about what my friends think of me.

11. I'm jealous of all my friends.

12. I want to be a news anchor.

13. I'm not really as smart as people think I am.

14. I like a guy who will never like me back.

15. I'm obbessive about lots of things.

Hi guys. I had a lot of fun working the book fair today. It was so much more fun then doing school work. I'm glad I get to do it all week to. I can't wait till' family night. We are going to sell coffee possibly. I also have this sign I'm going to wear all week. I know I'll probally look like a dork, but it's fun to do that sometimes. I also get to make a pick of the day video for one of my fave books, Pictures of Hollis Woods. It's really good. You guys should read it. Today was a day were I was rolling the whole day. Keri and I was walking around the book fair, seeing if anybody needed help. Austin Marlow told us that he was going to buy this cook book. Keri asked him if he could even cook. He told us that he could make brownies and cake... and his list ended there. Although he told us he could make anything we could think of. Right. ;) He also said he could play piano. ;) (Carmen, yall' have to play together in the talent show. Please.)

Oh yeah, what would you guys do if an old, freaky man contacted you. Just wondering.

Today I found out that our next youth conference is May 19-20. That's also the day of our prom. I really want to go, but I think my mom's mad because she wanted me to go to prom. I also think God is a lot more important than a prom. I mean really. Prom won't matter in five years, but this conference could have an effect that would change my life. I don't know. What do you guys think I should do? I kind of need to know soon so my mom can take my dress back if I'm not going to prom.