Have you ever gotten sucked into a random show? Well, my guilty pleasure is Project Runway. Perhaps I secretly long to be a fashion designer, or perhaps I like seeing the clothes. I think it is that I like seeing gay men cry and create more drama then any girls could. You should see what happens when fabric is stolen.

On a totally unrelated note, why is it now that other girls are finally figuring out that the guys I have know for years are really awesome. The first one was Brian King, the next one was Jeff Wood and the last was Jimmy Taylor. I knew how funny these guys were in Elementry school, I suppose it just took others a little bit to catch on.

Onto a different topic, I seem not to be in the Christmas spirit. No amount of Christmas movies or carols seem to be getting me there. I just think it is that I feel it almost useless for people to spending money on toys and things when there are others suffering. Also, people want to give me gifts and all I want to be able to do is to pay for college. I really don't need a pair of 50 dollar earrings. I feel like a Scrooge.

I would like snow, but lets just all hope for ice.

Cara

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
 But I have promises to keep,
 And miles to go before I sleep,
 And miles to go before I sleep.
It is getting dark too early. I know that is something odd to whine about, but I am having the hardest time getting home and out the door for a run. I come home and I get the mail then I have to look through the mail, and then I go and get my clothes on. By the time I have done all that it is 4:00 and I have maybe twenty or so minuates before it gets dark.

The feel of cold is lovely. It tingles my cheeks and my legs don't feel like they are there. I frankly forget that I am running and not just site seeing. I think winter is my favorite time to run.

So I was accepted to Agnes Scott, so all I have to do is fill out 4 more applications...

Cara

So the current college count is a follows:

Emory&Henry-accepted
Hendrix-accepted
Carson Newman-accepted
Agnes Scott-in waiting
UTC-need to apply
Murrey State-need to apply

I have this urge to write, or type something. My fingers ache wanting movement within each word across this page. My head is telling me to type something worthwhile, something that might get comments.

I have this urge to wake up early tomorrow morning and run. Just run for hours and never stop. My legs want to do, and I can feel them trying to take over the normal thoughts in my head. My head who is telling me that it will be too cold, and you haven't ran in a week.

I have this urge to be with someone. Just to be with a boy, and be able to say I have a boyfriend. My head will tell me that is a silly thought. That no one will be good enough, and that you should wait till you are really ready.

I have this urge to tell my head just to stuff it. I think I might listen to it a bit, pick and choose what I want to follow. Cause sometimes my head doesn't know what it is talking about. Then again, no one can be without a brain.

Cara

I haven't really written a real entry in awhile. You know one that actually is over 4 lines or isn't a quote or a picture.  So for everyone's enjoyment(or pain) I will write a real live breathing( though entries don't breathe) entry.

This week everything has  gone in very slow motion. I suppose it is due to Cross Country being over. It is the oddest feeling for me. Every year around this time, I am looking forward towards the next year and running with my friends(though they feel more like family, one big fat italian family), There is no next year, well not with Siegel. It is gone, four years of running long distance is over. This year was by the far the most amazing. I did so many silly things; getting lost in the woods, getting lost at Barfield, well getting lost pretty much everywhere. I got closer to people. I miss so badly my afternoon talks with Nicky, Anne, and Malorie. Well, this was if I was able to talk while I was running. I love Siegel Cross Country, and it feels like I got dumped by a longtime boyfriend. Isn't this sad, the closet feeling I have ever been to having a boyfriend is having Cross Country.

Track starts beginning of the next year. I can only count the days.

I seem to be very focus this year. I really don't know where this new sense of being older has come from. I feel like I have grown up, but I don't why. Maybe, I finally ready to go college, all I have to worry about is learning to do the wash.

Cara

Fours years of Cross Country is over..it is like Nicky said "Cara just dumped her boyfriend of four years, his name was Cross Country"

My sorrow, when she's here with me, thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be; she loves the bare, the withered tree; she walks the sodden pasture lane.
Robert Frost

Even though it is 90 tomorrow (God hates Varsity), fall has arrived..Plus I love Robert Frost..

My biggest fear I think is being lost, and not knowing how to get back. This does not stop me from exploring, I make crazy turns and go into the woods. Then when I loose my way and there is no way for me to find my way back I freak out. I wonder if this says something about myself. Does this mean I don't watch out how I get into sticky situtions, but once I am there I just want out. Do I truly not look before I leap.

So I am 18 years old and have never been kissed. Sounds like a start of a movie we all know, except she was a little older. It makes me wonder, is it cause I am not trying hard enough to attract the right guys. I have grown out of my crushes on certain boys or my hero worship stage ( yes, having crushes on good runners is what I consider my hero worship stage). I have just become myself. Isn't that what all books teach be yourself and your true love will come to you. I'm not even looking for true love, just a good boyfriend to share my Senior year with. I am sound so emo. I just wonder if I was made to be a girlfriend. Am I just not the right material?

Fall break is going well, though it is off to a slow start but the rest of week should be exciting. Orlando in 2 days and a race tomorrow in Macon. So, I'll see you when I get back.

For some reason I am stressed out. I can't really figure out why, I know what I am not stressed out about the following.
1.School..no work, no nothing
2.Running, I am loving it right now
3.My family seems to be going ok
4. Friends are all ok.
Perhaps there is something else missing. Perhaps it is b/c I haven't sat down and been religious for awhile. I don't know if it is even that. I feel so blessed with everything, right now doesn't seem to be the time that God is trying to spite me.
Perhaps it is thinking about college, but really I don't have to decide about that for awhile. I know I can get in where I want to.
Perhaps, it is what someone told me. Perhaps, I don't need to be so self relient, but it has always worked. Thier words were "you need a boyfriend" but does anybody really need someone else to happy.
Perhaps, I am just worrying about absoloute nothing, and I have truly lost it..
Cara

Sometimes I despise running...but you know what, I could never give it up..There is always next week for that 21..well a 21 again..

Two they are
partners in crime
racing to escape

Tight and loose
Walking contradictions
If I got up

Aching the calves are
From galloping
They feel like a cow

Butterfly in the grass
Hands stretched past
Moving on to the next

3 girls passed
9 girls ahead
1 smiles

"My Humps"

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karan, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’
Fly gearrr but I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t taken
We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps x3
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me

Now you know what I was thinking in my race yesterday.. Thank you Nicky!

As usual, I spend alot of time on my math homework, and then we are out of school..

Keep the Salty's in your prayers, thier son isn't doing well..

Edit

Their son passed away last night..

Last weekend, Lance Armstrong and President Bush took a ride, I am sure right past all the protestors. It got me thinking, why isn’t anybody using this time to promote cycling as alternative use of transportation.

This is a perfect chance, cycling is gaining popular, and gas prices are sky rocketing. I’m not saying sell your car and ride everywhere. I am saying use your bike on short errands, or going to somewhere nearby. Also, think about one of the other well huge problems we are battling in American, that’s right obesity. Just think about the calories one would be burning.

Think about it this way. The average American drives 12,000 or so miles per year: So if one cycled 10 miles a week that would cut gas use by 500miles or 4 percent. This would cut overall use in America by 1.6 percent. This is only a tiny dent of course, but I wouldn’t mind having $20 extra dollars.

So instead of slapping on some American flag on your guzzling SUV, strap on a helmet and go..

Cara

So I am a Senior..A Fuckin Senior..I am still getting over the shock. Schedule is good, except that I feel like a complete slacker. Maybe I should have kept the science class. Perhaps, I’ll feel better next semester when my real classes kick in. I suppose having 6th period with Salty isn’t helping this feeling of slackism. I think that is a new word.

First race this week, I have a feeling that my alter ego, Negative Nancy might want to make a visit. I hate this feeling of being neurotic. I need to just not focus on it. That is it, it is just a practice.

There isn’t much else to say, well except. I am a FUNKIN SENIOR!

3rd lunch anyone?

I dislike this time of year,not because we are going back to school or summer is ending. I dislike this time of year for it Rush season. When 10th and 11th grades get picked by upperclass to in a highly selective group. Yes, you have it ADK or DBS. What is worse is that it isn't only girls this year, it is also most of my guy friends being picked to be sponsors. I suppose I am not popular enough or liked by enough people ever to be picked. It makes me feel terribly like an outcast. It seems that High school sororities are only out there to give girls status to lord over others heads. I know they do charity and volunteer work, but hell you can do that on your own. I have. So there is usually a winter formal, yet another thing to rub in other girls faces. I just don't want to hear about this anymore.

I know that sounded like me being a jealous person, but you know what I am just a little.

Then again I look at it some pretty awesome people weren't in sororities take for example Faye, Allison or Kathryn. I bet Kate Hudson wasn't either.

Cara

Ultimate frisbee is fun...ultimate frisbee with mostly strangers..even more fun..

My car was clean
and full of gas
but alas
came a flat tire

Lance Armstong, everyone is familiar with the name. He is no longer confused with that guy who went on the moon. He is known from by winning seven tours, and most of all coming back from cancer. Cancer that was so bad he was coughing up blood. It wasn’t till he was coughing up blood though he actually went to the doctor. I think that we endurance athletes never want to actually admit there is something wrong with us. Then after chemo and many treatments he came back to win seven tours. It took this much to attract Americans to this sport.

The question now is, are Americans going to continue watching cycling? Perhaps if there are other great American Cyclists. Last year a gold medal was won by an American in the time trials but Tyler Hamilton is suspended for two years for blood doping (though there is evidence to refute this claim). There are others to step up to the plate; Bobby Julich, Levi Leipheimer and Floyd Landis were both in the top twenty of this Tour. We must not forget David Zabriskie who wore yellow until crashing in the team time trial. None will dominate the Tour like Lance. No, the real question is if Americans are hook on the sport? Mia Hamn did it with women’s soccer, and the team is still drawing fans after her retirement. I suppose we can’t predict this now. We will have to wait till next year’s tour and the tours after that.

There might never be anybody like Lance, but just think somewhere out there is a kid on his bike dreaming of winning the Tour de France.

As for me, I am having Tour withdrawals. I still consider cycling a great cross trainer, and perhaps one day I will enter a bike race.

Cara

It is 4:00 am and I am leaving for camp..what are you doing?

It is 4:36 in the morning and I am done with HP6..what have you been doing?

I'm home from vacation

It makes me so nervous everytime that envelope comes. I take a deep breath, praying with every second. Then like my fingers are coming out a starting block, I rip the top off the envelope. Quickly, my eyes scan the paper, reading one score after the next. A perfect score in reading that has to be a good sign. Then the final score awaits me at the bottom. 30, it reads and I thank the heavens that I won't ever have to take that test again.

Cara