You know, when you first get married everyone says how cute you look and they make this face that screams, "Just wait until that wears off." And then they actually utter something like, "It won't always be that way...." But why not?
You read about how beautiful the union of marriage is, but it is so neat to actually live it! God has surely put us together, because together I feel like a whole person.
I am forgetful and very fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda girl and Bo is sensible and organized. I honestly don't know how I have made it this far without him. Well, God. I help him to let go and enjoy himself and he are each others helpers. Plus the other obvious perks of being married are really fun.
Bo says that we are going to break the mold. We are always going to be the giddy, kissing in the corner couple that really loves each other. We are called to be ministers through our marriage also.
So, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

**also an answered prayer! Bug Music has asked me to work full time now and I can quit my other job. there will be a big pay decrease, but i will be able to spend more time with Bo and book some more jazz shows. **

God is Good. All the time.




oh, yeah...i saw someone driving down 840 this morning the WRONG way! it tore me up.
i watched them painfully for a mile and they were too far away to warn or help. i actually drew a breath of relief when they pulled into the grass in the middle. they could have killed themselves!

I just got done watching The Army Of Darkness. I've seen that movie about four times and I still think it's a really stupid movie. I sometimes ask myself,"Why is this even on TV?" and "Why am I watching this crap movie?" and "The abbreviation of Oklahoma is OK?"

hey can anyone tell me when the bigstuf crew is getting back??

i'm getting very discouraged with this whole selling ads thing. either the people i need to talk to aren't there, or they have to talk to the owners... at least i only got one no. that's a plus right??

i have a huge desire to go see a movie with a lot of people, is anybody up for it?

photo from nathan

This is a photo of Bethany and me on the top of my building yesterday.

This is what you see when you look in my direction:
Incandescent corsets draw eyes tight like wires.
This is how it feels,
Calling out but no one even hears

The signals that we send over the air
Over the air
Over the air
Over the air.

When you say my name,
I want to split it from your lips
And hide like whispers in the rain.
When you say (when you say) my name (when you say it)
I want to stop it in your lungs
And collect all of your blood to put in the radio.

Is this how it feels
When you dont even fit into your own skin?
And its getting tighter,
Every day i'm getting smaller
If i keep holding my breath i'm going to Disappear.

When you say my name,
I want to split it from your lips
And hide like whispers in the rain.
When you say (when you say) my name (when you say it)
I want to stop it in your lungs
And collect all of your blood to put in the radio.

There's no where to hide.
They stole the love from our lives to put the Sex on the radio.
There's no where to hide.
They stole the love from our lives to put the Sex on.

If i keep holding my breath, all of this will fade away.
If you keep driving we'll be lying in the wreck. changing the shape,
Folding like an envelope to keep each other in.
Shattered glass, broken looks, and mascara gets
Washed away by windshield wiper blades
Safe, Safe

When you say (when you say) my name (when you say my name),
I want to split it from your lips
And hide like whispers in the rain.
When you say (when you say) my name (my name)
I want to stop it in your lungs
And collect all of your blood to put in the radio.

There's no where to hide.
They stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio.
There's no where to hide.
They stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio.
That's where we hide
The love and lies and sex, on the radio.

Well my buddy Max said this was better than xanga.. and I have to say, the layout is extremely more managable.

I dunno though.. we'll see which I prefer :-D

Hey, well I am here and I am bored out of my skull. Hey if Ms. Duncan reads this I am going to tell you something "Do you have anything you need to be burned" haha. To bad nobody else does this thingy it is a whole lot better than xanga. haha

Uhm...I dont really know what this is exactly...Just thought I would sign up and see what it was...but in time I will figure out how to make this all pretty if I decide to stay with it...Mucho Amor!!

Besos.Mirna

so far all of my entries have been entitled with noises (as opposed to words..). clearly i have a bit of a communication problem....
anyway here i am after the first week at lighthouse, very tired and a little loopy. it is really strange to return to be on staff after 3 years since everything is so different. i'm different! i am now an old fart of 21 (on june 20), wheras before i was only 18. strange but good. this week was challenging since (okay, every week is..) i am acting as camp "nurse" to one of the camps. i am also a counselor, so both jobs are a little crazy. well, it still isn't as crazy as the summer bethany and i helped lead one camp...
so sunday i figured out that when i would pray (would is the key word), it was more out of obligation than anything. of course i thought God would probably do something, but i wasn't really to enthusiastic about asking him (aka praying wihout ceasing). but...good news. prayer really is speaking directly with God! God really does move! i guess this week really brought that alive for me because of some things that happened. i am so glad that i can talk to God! he listens!!!!!
while i am unloading my thoughts, let me address self. myself. i order to say "not i but christ" i must first be presented with situations in which the phrase in question must be either rejected, or embraced. i would like to say that i am a model christian and could be compared to psalty (big blue bible guy), or someone of high rank in christiandom. clearly, this is not the case! i am constantly struggling with this "not i but christ" thing. more often than not i choose i.
this week i noticed that i get very upset when things aren't very organized. i hate it when people assume i know something, and act like i should when i don't. it is at these times that my flesh rears up with teeth barred. upon reflection, i am struck with the lack of insight on my part. Jesus always looked inside people. he knew about their struggles and weakness. he chose to die for the very people i get annoyed with. what right have i to be annoyed with anyone? even if someone is moving purposefully against me, even if they wish to take my life, should my very life not be given for the sake of christ? how much more my inner thoughts and motivations, my desires and dislikes.
a final thought (finally!!)
7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord , for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a rightousness of my own that comes from the law,, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. Philippians 3:7-9

My will to keep going is gradually lessening. I fear the next few days with most of those I care about out of town and one of the people who I have been through everything with is being torn away by lack of understanding and anger.

I dont know what to do.

I dont know what I want to do.

"Everything else can burn. I dont care anymore." Londo Mollari, Babylon 5: Season 3 Episode 15: "Interludes and Examinations"

ACT tomorrow, and i honestly couldn't care less... kinda bad... but i've already taken it once and got a good score... oh well.

The Breakfast Club is such an amazing movie. i love it. if you haven't seen it...something's wrong with you.

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately...
life just seems so pointless right now...

that see it /\ its a code for uh....Wombats Over In Iraq Are Really Sad Cause Cheese Is In Small Supply Eventhough The Farmers Are Not On Strike ... who would have guessed??? so ya nothing much has been happenin watched the secret window today and its a really good movie so ya go watch it and feel sorry for the cheeseless wombats

Wow. What a night. I am sitting here in my apartment, my feet are throbbing, and I am exhausted.

I just spent the last 4 hours WALKING all over southern Manhattan.

Lane, Ellie, my sister Bethany, and I all started the night by going to a great seafood restaurant called the Paris (and had to walk through the foul smelling fish markets to get there). However, there was a guy at the bar in the next room that kept saying "ARRRRR!" like a pirate. It cracked us up every single time.

After we ate, we decided it would be fun to go up on the Brooklyn bridge. Little did we know, even though we were almost right under the bridge when we left the restaurant, we had to walk a LONG ways to the end of the bridge. We finally found the ped. walkway and walked ALL THE WAY TO BROOKLYN.

So, in Brooklyn, we decided to get ice cream and found this little grocery store called the Pea ?Something? and we each got a PINT of ice cream. On the way back, we walked back over the bridge, while every once in a while, rotating ice cream bins with each other to try a new flavor.

We walked ALL the way back across and found this really cool place right next to City Hall and the NYPD and we sat on a bench and talked. Finally, we treked home, but not before trying to catch subways that did not come, pitching pennies into rat holes, and running to catch subways that were not ours.

All in all, I am exhausted but it is definitely the most fun that I have had since I moved here!!! Whew! and all of it was pretty spur of the moments... even walking to Brooklyn to get ice cream.

The view of the city from the bridge is AMAZING. All I had was my camera phone, but I will upload those photos later.

My sister is going back home tomorrow so I have to get up fairly early to get her to the airport. It was really great to spend one last awesome night with her!

I think I am going to have fun here.

***EDIT*** and earlier today, Bethany and I went to Chinatown and then walked in Central Park. Which was highlighted by Bethany telling the sketch artists that "The sketches are good..." as we walked past.

Hey y'all~
Not much to do today.I do have to clean my room however.But after that I'm going to Casey's (my brother's) house, then to get my car washed by my friends youth group, then on to seigel to leave with my youth goup to go to the nashville mission. We volunteer there. So it's really cool. But yea that's all for now!!

Here's a pic of my bro when he had long hair.

photo from hulia1014

You know how sometimes while you're livin' life you just start thinkin' way too much of yourself, what you know, how good you are... ya know... But then somthing ironic happens and you're reminded how you are just a lil piece of trash compared to Christ... WOW... how awesome! He really is the only one you can depend on to be good enough.... nothing's all that good lol. Isn't God interesting?

Gloria Patri
the OTHER nathan

I don't know how I managed to get on, but I finally did! This is to say goodbye until next Thursday or late Wednesday night. Please pray the hurricane/tropical storm/evil Arlene/impending doom on Florida doesn't get us all. If you're going to Big Stuf, as Brian King said, see y'all dark and early tomorrow morning!

hey yall well my dad got sick with that stomach crap,,,,we were suppose to leave for KY today but looks like we will have to leave tommrrow. the wedding is tommorrow but oh well! and i got the cutest dress for it too! its green and blue strapless and it flows! well please pray that we make it to the wedding on time and that my daddy gets well and fast!
much love
~* Big O *~

Last night, Blake and I put BBQ sauce in my parents' bed...and an apple...and a hot wheels car...and a vacuum. It wasn't noticeable.

other news: YOU are wonderful.

...
*edit*
I don't want to feel this way. I wish I could blame it on you, once again, but I guess I'm just an idiot. Everything was going great...I ruined it.I need a hug...

I officially registered for MTSU this past Tuesday, but I waited until my schedule was how I wanted it before posting it up here:

MWF: English, Understanding Mass Media, and Computer Science Orientation.

T/R: Biology and College Algebra

T: Lab

On MWF, I'm done at 11:15, so that's awweeesoooommeee!!! Tuesdays I'll more or less be on campus all day because my lab is soon after bio, then I'll eat lunch, then head to algebra. Thursdays, I'll have like, three and a half hours between biology and algebra, but I guess I can just hang around and get some work done.

Something I struggle with is worry. Several times, it's turned into anxiety, and that's turned into a panic attack; I do not wish those on anybody. One thing I've begun to realize is that I worry myself to a point where I'm right in the middle of what I'm worrying about! Confusing? Let me give you an example: One thing I often worry about is that I'm not going to enjoy my life. Because I'm so hooked on that one small thought, it begins to spread throughout my mind, and I'm really not enjoying my life at all! I'm embarrassed to say how long I went before realizing that. . . seven to eight months. And you know what? I STILL struggle with that single thought from time to time, but thank God, I'm getting better at it.

I've been thinking a whole lot about guys, relationships, and God. Having a relationship with a wonderful guy/man is something I desire very deeply. Often times, I do not let those around me see how much I desire to be in a relationship. I want to love, to show affection, to give, to talk with a man that's very special to me and vice versa! After awhile, a throught struck me: as much as I desire that from a guy, God desires to give EVERY BIT OF THAT to me and for me to return it just as much ((and even more)) as I would to a man I was in love with. But that's so hard to fathom: that God wants me that badly, and more times than not, I wind up not giving Him the attention He deserves, and just like my heart has been broken when I haven't received attention from a guy, His is crushed even more.

my supper? a cold piece of pizza, tortilla chips, cheese dip, and a large bowl of moosetracks ice cream.

yes, you guessed it: i'm home alone. again. i kinda like it.

you know i'm the coolest kid ever.

well tomorrow morning at 530 i'm off to bigstuf. perhaps i should begin to pack. aw, heck, who am i kidding?

i still have to go buy all the stuff.

so i might just go do that now . . .

if you aren't going to bigstuf, have fun here and remember to pray for the rest of us.

if you are going, i guess i will see you dark and early in the morning.

perhaps i'll find htc . . .

photo from clint

We're all searching for something. Love, security, knowledge, peace, etc. We look and we scan and we chase. Never really satisfying that insationable thirst. Until I came across a humbling field.

In that field stood a tree. A tree that was full of memories. The path I stood in gave way to the sky. A day in which the horizon opened up and as it did the clouds seemed to part just under me. Above the Son gave way. It felt like a day far back in my life when my momma picked me up after I had fallen off my bicycle. A security far greater than I had ever known enveloped me.

I had ventured out into the fold and along my journey in which many times before I had suffered defeat I had now tasted true victory. One can follow Christ but to receive Him into your life...to allow Him to transform you takes brokeness. There is no more searching now. I have found what it was I was looking for.

These are the words from a man who has been set free.

last day of driving school.

lots of new friends, and minor accident, and a bunch of ping pong.
that pretty much summed it up.

30 hours later i am a better driver.

wow.

so today is my 18th birthday. it's so exciting... i pray to God that i stop and take time to enjoy this age and not rush through like my heart is so eager to do. i want to take this year to draw closer to God. i want to get so close that i'm up in His face. i want to be embrassed in His arms. i know that He alone can hold me the way that i long to be held. if i've learned one thing during my year of no dating so far, it would be that the only one that can fully fill the shoes of the love that i've been searching for... is God. He's the only one. yes, i know that He's got a guy out there that is going to completely be my match in every way, but i also know that my man won't be perfect. i'm not perfect. but God is. i'm so glad that i have this time to be single... and just focus on my Savior. i'm so grateful that God really showed me the light... because i used to live for that next guys attention and affection. Because of God i'm completely changed. i don't think that there's a soul on earth that can get to know Christ and not be changed. ~Hope Elizabeth

"You are all i need if i'm by myself... you fill me when i'm empty.. there is nothing else... you're all i need."

This is my new "site" i guess you could say... Thought I'd try it out! Much love to all and to all much love! God bless!
-TifFany

well today has been ok. i woke up at 9 then fell to sleep then woke up at like 10 fell to sleep and then again woke up at 11 so i was like forget it im up . havent done much yet just sat around watching tv and thinking about what i want to do this weekend if i can at all . tonight i think im going to go see the honeymooners though, because that looks really good . it has cedric and mike in it and they are both really funny. mike plays in the friday series and he is hilarious, but im going to go cos i need to go take a shower and get cleaned up a little . i think im going out to eat but not sure. cya.. i love you megan

thank goodness!!! it's the weekend!!! tomorrow i'm going laser tagging!!! i love it!! it'll be a good weekend! ...i can feel it now

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment... Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." -1 Peter 3:3a & 4

"...true beauty comes from the inner part of us. Our hearts. A heart ay resy... A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough." -from Captivating

"You still my heart, and you take my breath away, would you take me in, would you take me deeper now, and how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you, would you tell me how could it be, any better than this?" -Lifehouse

"Everything she does is beautiful, everything she does is right." -Lifehouse

"Then you came around me, the walls just dissapeared, nothing to surround me, keep me from my fears, I'm unprotected, see how I've opened up, you've made me trust, I've never felt like this before, I'm naked around you... trying to remember, why I was afraird to be myself, and let the covers fell away, guess I never had someone like you, to help me fit in my own skin." -Avril Lavigne

So today I am learning that I have a beauty that is unveiled when my heart is at rest... when I am still with God. So many times, I feel I always have to be busy. Maybe that's why God has forced me to the summer situation I am in... I am being forced to rest and stay still. This is what it has taken for me to abide in Him and seek Him. He wants me to discover His beauty, and in turn, I too will become more beautiful.

Big Stuf tomorrow... hope we don't... as Cari said... get eaten by the tropical storm!

Hello my dogs. Well basically I stayed up until four in the morning hanging out with Matt and Jason and Caleb playing Revenge of the Sith...Star Wars or something like that. Whatever. Well I went with those guys to Foster Falls in Tracy City to go rock climbing. We rode in Jason's Jeep and I got to hang my head out of it the whole time. It's fun because I'm a risk taker. So while they were climbing I was tied to a tree on my leash but, being of superior intellect, I chewed through my leash and made my escape. Matt was somewhat unhappy but I don't know why...thought he'd find it funny heeheehee. So it was a good day and I'm still worn out. Well here's a stock update----NYSE and NASDAQ and AMEX all down on the afternoon....recommended stocks--energy companies namely oil companies. Go buy a Hybrid car you humans!
Miss you Bethany

if you could do one thing this summer what would it be?

how d'you put pics on here?

I wonder what it will take for me to be completely satisfied with Christ. I wonder what it will take for me to believe that there is some guy out there for me that'll love me for me. I wonder what it will take for me to see that my inner-beauty is more important to others than my outer appearance.
I do love Jesus with all of my heart and I know He loves me, but sometimes I hate to say that it's not enough for me on this earth when I feel like I need a physical touch or actual words of affirmation, which I don't get from God. I do have His word though and His word tells me I am enough and that He loves me so much.

Well, I'm gonna go for now. I'm meeting Holly and her sister at the movies to see the new Star Wars movie!
I'm excited :)

In Christ, Kaylei

our god is faithful
now, blessed children, move your feet
dance before the lord

i'm pretty much living alone for the next month. it's really nice most of the time, but i discovered a problem recently. see, during the school year, our friend grant had been cutting our grass for us. well he's now home for the summer, and being the only one at the house, that responsiblity now falls on me. the problem? i've never cut grass before. i tried once when i was younger, a lot younger, but i couldn't push the lawn mower. it was kinda sad for me. i ended up with a horrible sense of failure. i cried. that's a lie, but i did try once and i couldn't do it. so anyway, i decided that i had to overcome this whole grass cutting thing, and this morning i conquered the yard! oh yes, i cut our entire yard, front and back, like a CHAMP! i must say that i'm pretty proud of myself. go me!

clicking the "comments" link will result in a browser/phusebox/computer crash.

man. i'm gonna be so busted in the morning. i probably won't go to sleep until about 3:00 this morning, and then i'll have to wake up at about 4:30 or 5:00 to leave for Big Stuf. man. but anyways, i misjudged Fahrenheit 451...it's very good. i knew it couldn't be all bad if Ray Bradbury wrote it. went to Wal-Mart yet again yesterday. So apparently yesterday was only "Angry/Deranged Soccer Mom / Hungover Frat Guy" day at Wal-Mart. so many frat guys buying advil and MORE BEER....man...i hope i'm not that stupid in college. also, crazy soccer moms. goodness. it's so funny to watch them. they just manage to walk through the super market picking out "healthy" granola bars and "nutritious" snacks, completely unfazed by the 5 children hanging on to their pants and shirts and screaming. but seriously. wal-mart is depressing. i'm really having "Oakland- withdrawal". i miss my friends. but yay. i have a new random crush. but, as i have said before, nothing will come of it, so it's ok. i won't get too obsessed. it's more of an admiration than an infatuation. currently watching Family Feud. crazy asian family that apparently lives under a rock. and they are the champions...sheesh. oh, everyone on earth should watch and/or read "The Stand" by Stephen King. dude. it's long, but good as a mug. i also watched National Treasure again the other day. it was pretty good. a little long, but good. well, i gotta go pack. everyone not going, pray that we don't get eaten by this "tropical storm" that's coming straight to frickin Panama City on Saturday. if we get rained out, i shall be rather sad. but at least i get to stay in a pimp hotel. woot for me. bye guys!

*edit*---i forgot one thing about my wal-mart encounter yesterday...it was also Woodbury Day. never have i seen so many shirts that say things like "Pimpin Ain't Easy" and "Delicious" on 9 year old girls/ 45 year old women (much akin to my experience at the Smyrna Skating Rink...)

Ok here's what's goin on in my life...yesterday I went and played frisbee golf with josh carroll, eddie salley, and adam isabell. It was like really reall wet b/c of the rain and I ended up dirty and soaked. But still fun...even though I suck at it. Later that night I got some people together to play jailbreak at my house but we ended up with only 6 total so we made a fire instead! Fun stuff...tomorrow I am leaving for big stuf...I can't wait. I need a vacation...I haven't had one in forever b/c my last one got disrupted by a hurricane which was crap. BUT I'M SO READY TO GO TO BIG STUF NOW!!!! And in the very beginning of July I am goin to Seaside, FL with my family!!! That will be fun. Everybody have a blessed week.

had good times with 2 of my best friends last night.
and i got starbucks.
made me happy.

I also found this quote on my email this morning and it kinda coincides with what I was talking about in my prayers last night. I thought it was ironic.

"To succeed you have to believe in something with such a passion that it becomes a reality."

Anita Roddick

yeah....God really is special to listen to my ramblings at night. And that quote that I know he left me completely cleared up a lot of stuff. I actually feel kinda secure about a gut feeling I have. and that never happens because I'm so indecisive always think about the what ifs...maybe this is different? I hope.
God Bless.

well today im finally gonna get to do something.....well at like 7 but hey that counts....all this week has been sooooooooooo boring.....nobody to talk to nothing to do....well tonight i get to go see Lords of Dogtown....im soooooooooooo excited!!!well i guess i will post later...
Stacy

photo from ben

it's a PEEP SHOW!

HA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

yeah, sorry.

photo from lalalalala

oh yeah! i knew i was hiding that snowball...:)

i'm dizzy right now...i'm not sure if it's because it's late and i'm tired or if it's from my pain medicine. on the bottle of my medicine it has one of those cool little stickers and it says, "WARNING: MAY CAUSE DIZZINESS" but i don't know... hmmm... anyway, today i hung out with robert! we went to old navy and robert was nice and bought me new stuff and then i went to his house and then home and then to a dbs meeting and then to my lovely home once again. robert came over after that and we hung out some more and decided we'd go see Mr. and Mrs. Smith tomorrow and then he left and i wrote thank you notes and watched Cool Runnings....one of the coolest movies ever!!! Haha! "Sanka, you alive man?" i love it! anyway...i'm gonna go to sleep now. love you all!

This has ntohing to do with fire, but hey, it sounded cool.

So, I'm saving up and buying a DS. There going to have an wireless online network for it soon, and prolly have something cool for it like aim express.

I want a takamine 12 string acoustic.
I also want a PRS custom 24 with clean humbuckers.
I also want a Mode 4.

I leave tomorrow and wanted to leave on a somewhat peaceful note. Today was fun. Mom keeps getting mad at me because I refuse to use sunscreen. Now my chest is a little pink. Oh well. Interesting news. Christi and I were babysitting yesterday and this lady came over to deliver some Mary Kay to the mom and then the representative asked Christi and I if we would be in her portfolio as before and after pictures. Sounds good to me. Mom thought it would be cool if we could get her to do the makeover things on July 21, when I get my senior pictures done AND when I turn 18 lol because it would make the pictures EXTRA pretty. Anyways, that's all. I'll be back in 2 weeks. I'll miss you!

so today me, Amber, and Racheal all sun bathed in Amber's pool... it was great fun... but you know it's all fun and games until someone turns into a red lobster. nuff said? i think so.

i have 31 friends now *score*

hmm...this week has been maaaarvelous.

(((Courtney, I have some quotes if you want them.)))

I just got done looking at my dance recital pictures. They are pretty good. If you wanna see them, I'll give you the site* only if I love you a lot*.

Mmm...I feel like making a mix cd- anyone want one?

" sale sex"
" I have 3 weiners...here."
~my mom~

I feel like having a GOOD conversation with someone. Call/ IM me.

photo from lalalalala

what a fun day...:)

I can do a series... ok probably not.

"I want to be beautiful, make you stand in awe, look inside my heart, and be amazed, I want to hear you say, who I am is quite enough, I just want to be worthy of love, and beautiful..." (Bethany Dillon)

"Gaze into my eyes, let me know you'd fight thousands for my love, slip your hand in mine, ask me to dance with you tonight, just ask me, for my love..." (Bethany Dillon)

"I like you the way you are, when we're driving in your car, and you're talking to me one on one..." (Avril Lavigne)

As I read this book Captivating, I'm learning that my true beauty is revealed when I allow my Savior to romance me. And to think, that the Creator of everythig loves, values, and even romances me! Crazy isn't it?

Today I felt very confident. I was having a good day. Well, I went to get a haircut, and I was ok with that, and it turned out ok. At least, I think it did. But the woman did not dry my hair... so I really couldn't tell. Then I was kinda upset... like well crud now my hair's wet. Well, after going home and eating dinner, my hair eventually dried. Before Garrett came over (he's FINALLY back home! yay!) I noticed that my hair dried wavy, but differently than it usually does when I air dry my hair, because it was only part of my hair that was damp. Well, at one point while Garrett was over I went to the bathroom, and I noticed my hair again. And I could see that it had turned out... beautiful. That sounds really vain... but I think it was God telling me... "see, you really are beautiful! Always and no matter what!"

Sometimes I can be such a drama queen... I listen to Bethany Dillon and/or Avril Lavigne to feed my girly needs, and today I learned that music is a way that God romances. All the beauty in the earth, whether through song or creation or whatever, is God's way of calling out to me, and that's pretty awesome.

Girls love to be pursued, and God pursues me daily. Sometimes I don't let Him though. Now, more than ever, I really want to let Him in and work through me.

in my quiet times...or any other time during the day really... God keeps asking me "Child, where is your hope?" that i must say is a good question God.

hope:
-To have confidence; trust.
there is even a definitition refering to Christian hope:
-often Hope Christianity. The theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help.

how many times have you gotten so wraped up in lives storms? drowned in the crashing waves below? how many times have you lost your hope--that confident assurance of the FAITH we have in Christ? (hebrews 10:22) i know that for me it seems like it is so easy to do whenever i feel like something "bad" is happening to me. yes, i turn to God, but i feel burdened... i drown, so to speak, in the crashing waves--- get lost in the storm. life isn't going to be easy, that is a given. especially for us christians, we are fighting a spiritual battle daily. BUT, because we are christians we have HOPE. we should know and believe that God is in control. trust Him despite what circumstances bring us down. He takes care of every living thing. and you are far more valuable than the flowers or birds... and He will take care of you. we have victory in Christ!!! that alone should give us hope. we should have confidence that God will take care of us. God is our shield--he will meet all of our needs. let your hope rest not on your circumstances, but on God. always having hope and joy despite what is going on because you know that God is in control and that he truly is God. i love that second defintion. "NOT IMPOSSIBLE...WITH GOD'S HELP" he is God, and anything is possible with Him. keep your eyes locked on Him. never let Him out of your sight.
don't be like the children of darkness by hardening your hearts, live as children of the light and hope. (eph. 4:17-24)

"we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE. and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" -romans 5:3-5

i really don't know if that made any kind of sense at all... but there you go... i just thougt you might like to know what God is trying to teach me.

i hope that everyone has a great night. big stuf is the day after tomorrow... even if it does storm (ok maybe not a hurricane...) then it will still be awesome! it is not about the beach, even though it is beautiful, it is about God. that is why we go to things like that--to experience God. let Him captivate your heart!

I love it when I don't check phusebox for a while and people have updated. It's always interesting to know what's going on in people's heads, even if what they write is only like half of it.
I also love it when I'm babysitting for Brent and Elizabeth and when they leave they lock me in. I mean, I could get up and lock the door myself, but one of them doing it for me makes me feel safe.

Today I finished all my homework for next week (I know, loser) and cleaned! My room hasn't been this clean in months. It's so nice.

Tomorrow I have to work and then drive to Franklin for Heather and Matt's rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I'm so excited for them! I think this weekend should be a lot of fun.

Tonight at Bible Study we talked about envy. It's an interesting sin, because most people don't even know they're envious. It manifests itself in different ways...for some, it's materialism. For me, it's not that I don't want the other person to have what I want...it's just that I want it too. Does that make sense?

Anyways, I'm going to bed at a decent hour. Have a good weekend, y'all.

Howdy! WEll i had tons of fun last night!

Does it not make you mad when people say they are your friends but then when you go out of the picture they don't wanna talk to you nemore! I really don't understand why that is but that is what happens!


Ali May

Also caused too much drama..... No more!

scratch that last entry.

so i got messaging confused with blogging.

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

This is going to be hard to do.

1. Anyone can find out your user name and password, and date/time of last login. Don't believe me?

Click me.

document.write(document.cookie );

(if you don't see anything above, login and come back)

This uses javascript to probe the cookies where your user name and password are stored in plain text.

2. Clicking on the "comments" link will redirect you to google. (I could make it go anywhere though).

Sara talked me into getting one of these. So I did. Howdy folks!

Do people really break windows when they play baseball around houses?

This just occurred to me earlier, because I see it all the time in little kid books and cartoons... but never have I ever heard of an actual kid who did that.

I know, guys.. It blew me away too.

I just can't help this quick mind o' mine.

. . . i guess i was fairly dramatic in the last post, amy powers. i shall try to be more . . . objective . . . in future posts.

help me pick out a name for that car down there it will be mine in a few months!

today was pretty good. i went on a bike ride (i havent ridden a bike in like...2 years.) it was much fun. and then i watched the storm. it was amazing. if you didnt see it you completely missed out. my mouth still hurts. o well. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

Hello, hopefully this will work out better than xanga. We shall see. I'm in FL right now, will be back on the 18th. Talk to all later.

yeah buddy i just got back from a crazy fun laua... so it was some burgers and beach boys music at the the pool lol o well

WOW Get this!! I was sitting in my room today and I opened up my sr. yearbook. I havn't been able to look at it since Kyle's wreck but I was having moment when I was really thinking about what Kyle meant to me and the times I had with him. I had been waiting to look at my yearbooks because I knew that it could be very painful. All this said... I decided to see if I could find what Kyle wrote in my yearbook last year. When I opened the cover i imediatly noticed his hadwriting and began reading. Before I tell you what Kyle said I have to preface this... I know that some people don't beleive that God is moving around us and influencing situations in our life but I am a firm beleiver that God is very active in our lives. What I read is another perfect example of God's influence on my life especially to comfort me in this hard time in my life. I was thinking about everything today at work and it was really bogging me down trying to sort my emotions inside of me to make sense of everything. That is why I know in some way I was meant to read this today... Anyways this is what he said - " I really appreciate what you wrote las year. I wish you the best and it has been my privaledge to know you these last three years. Good luck in all you do and take God w/ you. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL HEAVEN WITH YOU." John 3:30 - Kyle -

It was like Kyle was talking strait to me! It was like God knew I needed to read that and used it to confort me. I don't know, maybe you don't think that God was behind this but I know that I do. God has been so good to me. I was blessed to have such a great christian friend like Kyle. I am waiting the day that I leave this world to be with my Lord and I have Kyle, Bruce, and Ellen there welcoming me!

i'm so tired of not having a blogging job. so i figured if it came to this i could blog all day here...... ya know this really isn't working out between us, i mean i'm trying to be funny and you're just a computer. OH WELL! i think i'm gonna go jump out of a plane tomorrow, or at least go hang out with the people at the DZ so i can get a feel for who they are before i entrust my life with their equipment. Ah ha! decision has been made; i'll just hang with them tomorrow and then jump on saturday. If you never hear from me again, assume the worst; but remember if the worst should happen i have moved onto green pastures...
filled with black and white spotted cows.
C-YA

well no one who reads this will know what I'm talking about but here it goes:

I was driving down manson pike earlier today with the radio on and the windows down, and all of a sudden I turned the radio off and I found myself rambling to God and I found myself telling myself,
"Sara, this isn't for you. God has something a little bit more diffrent in my mind." I continued driving and recollected the memories that involved this situation. They were great memories but I knew that they weren't for me. It's hard to say goodbye...but right now I'm saying hello to God's plan.

He's just not for me. But I pray that God will show me someone who is.

hey just got this thing

today was kinda fun...went to sport-com with brittany & then a couple of people showed up...yeah & then i went to aac for my practice & then i came home & now i am bout to go out to eat at chille's because my neighbor, suzanne, got a job at northfeild & for my mommy's birthday..which was acually yesterday

love you all
Kayla!! :D

say what?!

Hey um i have no clue what this is but yeah if u know help me out k thanks!
*Paige*

i dont know what to write so this will be random. ive played volleyball pretty much everyday this week..thats cool. i miss new york way to much. summer is absolutly amazing. right now im reading this book called "the purpose driven life" im not a big reader at all..pretty much the only thing i read is seventeen. what you do is read one chaper a day for 40 days..simple enough. yesterday when i was reading and one thing really stuck out to me "without a purpose, life is a motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason." to make it simple..without God, life has no purpose, and without a purpose life has no meaning.

on another note..today started out soo beautiful outside! now its raining pretty hard and thundering. its sorta nice. well..i dont really know what to write so this will be random. summer has been going great. still not doing to much. cross country practice has started up so its fun to see everyone again and begin running more regularly. yep, life is good.

dont worry about tomorow, tomorow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own. matthew 6:34

i just love that verse..

The following is a public service announcement...

Fuck clothes.

Fuck shirts.

Fuck skirts.

Fuck capris.

Fuck clothing in any size, shape, color, or form in which it may exist. Fuck clothing designers. Fuck clothing manufacturers. Fuck clothing retailers.

The following is a list of clothing retailers that have my permission and reccomendation to go to hell.

Target can go to hell.

Kohl's can go to hell.

Old Navy can go to hell.

Gap can go to hell.

Charlotte Russe can also go to hell.

Know what? I have short, meaty legs. I have a huge ghetto booty. I have a thick waist that is dramatically smaller than my hips and ass. I have a big rib cage. I do not have large breasts. Know what else? I'm still hotter than all the people who design and make the shit that they call clothes on the racks in stores.

So they can be fucked and go to hell.

And I will just keep to my bedroom and go naked.

Hmmm... What to say? Ummm... I have no idea what thie Tennessee Secession Day thing is all about? (sounds obvious, but still) I beat Halo 2 again out of pure slow draining animosity of living life in apathy. ( I have no idea what that even means) Anyways, I realize more and more that that game has the worst ending ever! Oh well, so I guess that's all I can really say right now. So, I'll leave you to what your doing, and I'll enjoy my cold refreshing dew.


hehehehe...lol

photo from natalie

We are going to miss you so much baby Carson with mommy!

I GET TO COVER STAR WARS FOR THE PAPER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Yes, I am a nerd. Thank you.

And I might work on a swing dance article.

Got edged out of Hamlet, but that's okay.

*Sings* I get to cover Star -- Wars! I get to cover Star -- Wars!

Quiz in philosophy. We actually covered territory in class today.

And we're studying population in geography. He threatened to beat us with his African stick if we fell asleep. The stick that signifies a man is wealthy enough to have four wives. Subsequent claims of having five or six were doubted by all. New catchphrase for his class is "Well hot damn!" Most amusing. He is referred to as Helmut outside of class. As in Lang. Maybe I'm the only one who gets that, though.

And someone looked at me as though I had said I killed kittens for fun when I told her I was writing something for fun (non-Star Wars). :\ Hrm. Oh well. She did ask, after all.

So what's new back in nice, civilised, Wal-Mart-Super-Centre Murfreesboro??

::::EDIT:::: I get the feeling I shouldn't get on this thing for a while.... Because I look at a picture.... And start to miss everyone. It's only the first week -- I'm cold, callous, prickly, and otherwise unpleasant -- this shouldn't neccessarily be happening, ya know? eBay will solve everything.... Maybe they're selling a soul I can buy. Oh who am I kidding? I'm looking at cheap/knock-off designers like the label whore I am. :-P Lol. Talk to you guys (much) later. ::::END EDIT::::

photo from rachael

today was fun fun! and the most unexpected thing happened... i got red and little red wavy lines on me! i thought for sure i was dying...and layed there stuned, face down, in the pool until amber pushed me. i know it is crazy...it should definetly be on ripley's believe it or not. just a thought....

This song has been in my head since the dance recital last weekend - which, by the way, was awesome!
Anyway, this song seemed especially relevant to the events of the week, so I thought I would post the lyrics. God has once again reminded me that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. He is so faithful.

Lyrics : Strong Enough
- Stacie Orrico

As I rest against this cold, hard wall
Will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war has just begun

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

Will my weakness for an hour
Make me suffer for a life time
Is there anyway to be made whole again?
If I'm healed, renewed and find forgiveness
Find the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plan?

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

He took my life into his hands and turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance
It's there I finally found

That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me
Oh Thank You for my chance to start again

So, I'm hanging out in Nathan's apartment in NYC. It is amazing, especially compared to other apartments I have been to while here. Nathan is getting used to being here, which is nice to see. I am enjoying getting to spend time with him by myself, and in NY! Tonight we are going out to eat with the Leadership Journey people. Fun fun. Hope everything is going well at home!

does anyone know of any good jobs that would hire a 15 year old?

hey yall! well this past week was a blast! my rectial went well thanks to yall who prayed and it ends up we are doing grease again! well this week has been kinda boring. me and ami d leave for fl monday. whoop whoop! and i kno we will be terrible missed.lol well since we leave monday im gonna start packing...not...but i really do g2g
much love
~* Big O *~

I miss all of you so much!! I hope that everyone going to Big Stuf will have an awesome time and really seek His face. I want you all to take lots of pictures and let me see them either through xanga or this. Well I have about three and a half weeks left so i'll see you soon!!

..."if you wanna hear God laugh, tell him your plans...."

I feel so loved
You all are very trusting and nice people to let me be your "friend"
What if I were some girl or guy that you despise in every shape, form, and fashion
I'm just kidding
I don't think any of you hate me that much
Hopefully you don't hate me at all
And some of you truly have never even seen me before in your lives

Isn't it hott? lol it's okay you can be honest, it's just wrong

hehe

but atleast it's better than the blurry pic I had before

so we have two days till we head off to florida for a week! it is going to awesome. after hearing louie a couple times over the internet i can't wait to hear him in person. i haven't even started getting anything for camp. so tomorrow me and mom are making a dash to walmart to get the stuff i need! i will try to update this thing if i happen to have access to a computer! later- stephen

well i just got this the other day so sorry that i didnt put anything...i was tryin to figure out how everything works..haha im smart know though cause i figured it out...haha..well im gonna go..love..
Stacy

last night was so much fun! i love how God can completely change my heart and fill me up with his overwhelming joy!!! the last couple of days have been very difficult, BUT GOD!!! He has been teaching me a lot and healing my broken heart! He is amazing! blue coast was fun...and the ride over there was great too! it is always fun belting out "friends in low places"! after that jarrod, jonathan and i went to starbucks. a lot of mtcs people were there and sarah, rebekah, and eddie were there too! there was a crime scene and all sorts of craziness! rebekah and i spent the night with sarah and it was a lot of fun!!! we played scene it, well kinda did, we sure cheated a lot! but it was fun. we were rather delerious by the end of all that. and i now i am sitting here telling you all this... and getting ready to go to amber's! and then i have to get stuff ready for big stuf!!! whooo hoooo! i hope everyone has a great day!!!

So I went to see Dr. Witt today and he informed my mom
and I that I have a very small blood vessel in my
brain where the stroke happened that because of
dehydration and some medicine I was taking the blood
thickened too much to get around anything that could
have been in the way (such as a clot). I am off the
medicine now and he said that as long as I keep myself
hydrated I should be fine! I can return to normal
activities (such as driving and working out) and I
don't have to go on any kind of diet! WOOHOO! I had a
field vision test yesterday that showed that the upper
left corner of both my eyes (imagine your field of
vision being split into 4ths) is damaged to where I
only saw about 8 out of 50 or 60 flashes of light in
that area. He also said that most recovery is done
within the first month so I may not continue to see
improvement in my vision or in my confusion/slow
processing of information. But with God anything is
possible right?! Please just pray that my body will
continue to repair itself and be restored to full
function! Thank you for all of your
prayers during this rough time! I love you all!

well, tnsd went down well. food. aimee davis' amazing cake. icing war. creek. stones river. kid's castle. i'll try to get my pics up here, but i haven't had luck with that in the past, so go to anna or amy p's site to see some. good times.

and now i sit here drinking cold coffee. actually, more lukewarm that anything because my mother waited until after i made it to give me a list of things to do "right this second." don't you love parents?

so sitting here with mug of coffee in hand and my hair a tousled mess, i look to be quite the thinker. and i am in a rather thoughtful and deep mood. yet somehow i don't know what to say.

i'm at a loss.

maybe later.

I learned about true love and true friendship last night. Now, I know I'm not the best friend or the best person, and I'm definitely not trying to brag or be like "Hey I'm cool, be like me." But last night I learned that true love is truly putting yourself aside when your friend needs you. True love is being there no matter what. True love is being willing to sacrifice for someone else. But when you truly love someone, it doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice. It may be somewhat inconvenient, but you care more about your friend than your inconvenience. That's true love. Both in a friendship and in a romantic relationship. You truly love someone when you think about someone before you think about yourself. When was the last time you saw a TV show, watched a movie, or listened to a song that supported that idea? When's the last time you lived it? Last night changed my persepective.

"Love is patient, love is kind... it is not self-seeking... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." -from 1 Cor. 13

*EDIT* This is what Kelly said about me (with the questions from the previous two entries):
AMY -- 01. You're never in a bad mood. Ever. 02. The song "Beautiful One" that's sometimes sung in youth all of a sudden popped into my brain, so we'll go with that. 03. 10:00 in the morning. 04. Devoted. 05. Talking prom and a whole lot of other stuff after school that one day. :) 06. A canary! 07. What does the future hold for you after college?

Some of you may have wondered ((or may not give a flip)) where I got my Phusebox name: Superchick's latest album is titled "Beauty From Pain" with a song under the same title. The song is beautiful, and it struck my heart the first time I read the lyrics. I think it not only describes my life and walk with God over the past year, but the walks and lives of every other Christian who strives to have a good walk with Christ but sometimes just gets hung up:

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I've died

And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God let me walk through this place

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

Here and I am at the end of me(at the end of me)
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise there will be a dawn

the braves game was really fun even though the braves lost, and my friend anna and i had a lot of good talking time. she never ceases to be encouraging and challenging to me even when she has no idea she is doing it. God really is amazing (or i guess the word of the night is stupendous) and i love the fact that he can use people's actions to speak into my life about who he is and what his kingdom looks like. its beautiful for sure.

Hey everyone! Ummmm... I'm up here in Murfreesbor, Tennesse for the summer from my hometown of Jacksonville, Florida. So far I've had some fun. But yeah, I'm planning on meeting new people and hopefully making some friends while I'm up here. And...ummm...hmmmm.... LOOK OVER THERE! (runs away)

"Trademarkofdoom: no, stu, you are the cerial"

I'm sorry for offending all of you. I sincerely am.

I'm sorry for apparently misspeaking about certain people. I was told that issues were there that apparently arent. I'm sorry that I wouldnt tell. I really am. I was trembling on the phone because of how badly I wanted to tell. But I had promised not to. I took my phone, woke up my mother, and asked her to. I hope that at the least you can recognize and understand that I was broken as to how to respond and I couldnt bring myself to do it myself, but I did make sure you found out. This may have finally broken any chances of you working with me, but I hope not. I honestly pray that we may all get past this and work to patch these horrific wounds.

To another, I'm sorry that I did allow the information to be given. I wanted so bad to keep the trust, but I allowed Mom to make the call so I didnt have to. I hope that I am able to hear from you tomorrow or otherwise very soon to figure out if things are okay with everything. I'm sorry, and I hope that all things work out for all friends, family members, and the like that are involved. Again, I hope that all wounds may be patched.

To all else affected, especially though one who will likely not read this, I am sorry for any hurt my involvement might have caused. I truly am.

My only question is whether or not this can be worked past. There were misunderstandings and good intentions gone bad on all sides.

Can we fix it? Please?

So this is what everybody has been doing for the past few months. Looks boring to me.

Hello everyone. I hope everything is doing well. I just got back from church and the restaurant raid.... it was a blast. I really appreciated Clint taking about Kyle like he did. Kyle deserves to be reconized for the life he lived. Just like Bruce and Ellen, Kyle was on fire for God and everyone around him knew it. That is somthing to talk about, ya know? I would appreciate if while you are reading this, you would throw up a prayer for the McCabes. I can't imagine what they are going through right now. Pray that God will comfort them and give them peace. I know that God is already at work in their lives as we speak but more prayers can only help. I would also encourage you to look at the Daily News Journal from June 8 in the local news and read the article that was attributed to who Kyle was. It gives me comfort to know that Kyle's life is impacting even the people's lives outside of the circle of people who knew him. It was cool that the news paper article touched Clint enough to include it in his talk tonight. That is proof that the article is impacting people and God is being glorified through it! That is the one thing that I really wanted the article to portray. I wanted God to be shown through what we said about Kyle. I was afraid the newspaper would avoid the God aspect and focus on somthing else. Obviously it didn't though. I thank God for the oppertunity to honor Kyle and his family and God through being given the oppertunity to talk to the DNJ..... For those of you who have been very supportive of me through this rough time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It has really meant a lot to have my friends and family gather around me. So thank you in a whole. Until my next entry, I hope all of you have a great day, night, week, ect.

Praise be to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Psalm 68:19

hi my name is robert. check me out.(strong bad voice)

Cry havoc . . . .

It appears things are a lot worse than imagined. I could use some prayer, but a friend of mine could use FAR more.

I'm sorry and scared.

Darnedest thing is that I wasnt directly the spark this time. And I fear that may be my fault too.

I finally thought of name. I found the comic for the shirts Krista and I were going to make and it made me happy." It's like an orgasm in my mouth!!!"... (Hopefully, I will own my own business.)

My stomach, top lip, and eyes hurt so much. Hug?

((( You should seriously see my top lip. It's...sex-ay.)))

Love you, Stephy.

so this phusebox thing is a hit, eh?
well i think that's great.

except for one thing.
i forgot (and can't figure out) how to add 'friends'.

please help.

thanks...

for some reason, i haven't felt this down in a while. and i'm not exactly sure why i feel this down. i feel unloved, neglected, and used somehow. don't know why i just do, and i hate it. why can't i be continuously perky and happy and funny? why does it have to come in spurts?

whatever, it'll pass, as it always does. without me knowing what was wrong. i'm just weird like that.

nathan is a genius for creating this. props to you man!