My Chain E-Mail/Bulletin

May 09 2007

I think you'll find it worthwhile to read this...

These bulletins are so stupid with their "if you don't repost you'll be cursed, have a stroke of bad luck," or one of my personal favorites "have the worst life ever." What? No, you're wrong. I'm sorry mr or mrs. i want the world to hear my bulletin, but your words do not intrinsically possess some type of magical power that instantly endows your bulletin with the capability of damning the rest of someone's existence because they don't care to tell the world about "ten things to say to mr. right."

Sorry, but just... no, I mean..

Where do you people even get this?

So i think a bulletin should go something like this:

"If you don't repost this little green men will come out of your closet and beat you with lucky charms made of steel, then tie you up and toss you through your window, subsequently rolling you on the sheets of broken glass.  Lacerated and bleeding, they will then cast you off the plank of a magical pirate ship descending from the ninth martian galaxy which will then wisk you off to the pacific coast where your bloodied body will be tossed to the ravenous great whites.  After being effectively devoured, your processed excreted body will then accumulate into a giant mass at the bottom of the ocean which will directly cause a cataclysmic shift in the ocean currents, worldwide flooding, and thus a subsequent destruction of all human life.

Therefore, if you don't want to be the direct cause of the termination of every man, woman and child on the planet, then repost this, OR ELSE!!!


Or, if you're a sensible human being, who knows everything I just said is crap, and does not in any way have some type of magical capability of causing these things to happen simply because I made them up, because the truth is that these statements were simply pulled right out of my butt, then repost this to let the world know that chain letters with certain and inescabable doom as a direct cause of not reposting them is one of the most retarded, thoughtless activities going on in the technological age, and do so only with the simple satisfaction of knowing "ahh, maybe I have in some way helped to hault the comprehensive decline of the average human I.Q. in contemporary society, becuase I have helped to expose this hopelessly brain-sucking activity."

The non-coerced, sensible, coherent minded individuals', End. :)