December 11 2005

A mother can replace anyone.
No one can replace a mother.

A girl who has lost her mother told me that. Its odd that people who have gone through horrible things like that seem to have the most faith of all and the least tolerance for wasting life, weither Christian or not.


December 09 2005

I am very tired. I'm working off of about 3hrs of sleep and my day is no where near over. Narnia by the way is awesome! I saw it at 12:01 am this morning. Lots of people I knew were there so it was really cool. Not much else.
The best feeling in the world is when you're driving home at around 2:30 in the morning, and there's nothing around you. It's just you, the noise the heater makes, the music you turned on to cover up the noise the heater makes because it's only like 20 degrees outside, and absolutly nothing around you but darkness. It's awsome, or at least for me it was.


December 01 2005

As I sit here and try to write
I think of all i've done tonight.
I watched t.v and ate my dinner
(If I ate better I could be much thinner.)
I drank my coke and combed my hair
And now I lay here and my eyes just stare.
I took out my contacts and put my glasses on
I laid down and said "demons be gone".
Then I closed my eyes and tried to sleep
But I soon realized my thoughts were to deep.
So I lay in bed and think what to do
Of words to say there are so few.
So in my head, I start to pray
And ask forgiveness for all i've done today.
I woke up and cursed his name
I had tripped over my sisters stupid board game.
As I pulled the monopoly houses out of my feet
The knife in my hand fell and I started to weep.
So then I bled the disgusting dark red
And now here I lay in my cold twin bed
So why can I not sleep tonight?
Well maybe it was that horrible fight.
I fight with my sister and she calls me those names
I bet she planted that silly board game.
I then went to school and defied my beliefs
I am but that first falling leaf
That falls in the winter as it gets deathly cold
I am what I am and I sit on the fold.
As I sat in English and again cursed his name,
I had failed my test yet again, what a shame.
And then I went home and I was in trouble tonight
I was sent to my room though I put up a good fight.
Then I rushed out the door with some rude remark
I sped off in my truck and returned around dark.
I argue and yell and throw big fits
I am better off living with cousin it.
So as I lay in my cold twin bed
I think I should pray and ask God to take back all I said.
I pray for forgiveness for all i've done
Even though I don't regret some.
I pray for strength to carry on
Or else one day I should just be gone.
I pray for patience to deal with life tomorrow
My whole life has been filled with gruesome sorrow.
So I end my prayer with a thank you, Amen
Then I picked up some paper and a dark blue pen.
I could do much worse then writing this and that
I could just eat until I am deathly fat.
I could use drugs or maybe a knife
No wait, I am past trying to end my life.
God granted us this life to live
And I will not spare my opportunity to give.
I have struggled with much and gotten past
But none of you could understand the pain that still lasts.
It stays in my heart and reminds me in my dreams
That everything I know is not what it seems.
As I lay here still. in my cold twin bed
I hope people remember some day what I said.


November 24 2005

It's official, i'm an Aunt. I put up some new pictures of me and baby george. My new profile pic is me and him yesterday. He weighed 6lbs 12oz and was 20in long. He was born at 11:45a.m. on Tuesday the 22nd. He's soooo cute! Happy Turkey Day to everyone.
(pictures to follow:)

Prayer.. Why is it important?

November 21 2005

My prayer life struggles, i'll be te first to admit it. I sux at talking to God on a regular basis. God has given me such awesome friends though that I am recently being able to let go of my selfish "i-can-do-it-myself" ego and learn from them. I prayed really hard about a week ago to God and since then I gratefully bow down and pray to Him to thank Him for everything and talk to Him as I did that day. It was awesome. I talked to him as if he was a real peron standing right there in front of me. Except I did all of the talking. If I had said some of those things to another person they probley would have told me off, but some how God stands there, see's my sin, know's how I can't seem to change, and still loves me the same. Which reminds me of an amazing song a friend wrote. Not much else for today so good bye...

How do you stand to see,
My sin's pages?
Why do you hear when I beg for more?
What did you see in me,
That'd you want to complete,
That was worth dying for?
-Aric Harding Band-


November 11 2005

I cut my hair. Alot of it, all gone. about 4-5 inches. It's pretty nice. Maybe i'll put some new pictures up of it all. It feels weird when I go to brush my hair and whatnot. It's cool. Gotta work tonight with a new guy. (I thought I was new but aparently i'm ready to train other newbies... humm, whats wrong with this picture?!?)

Got to go and read now.
The Count of Monte Cristo
-good book, long book, but good so far


November 08 2005

Church on Sunday was awesome.
Wanna know why? Go to my xanga, it's all there.

Question for all:
When was the last time you felt closest to God?


November 02 2005

So at work, they gave me a key.. very exciting! I can now close the store by myself, maybe not completly by myself... but soon. Church tonight should be good, actually it should be really good and heart breaking, emotions shall break and fly. Alrightlly then, not much else. bye


October 31 2005

So, one of my guy friends brought one of his guy friends to church yesterday. This guy thinks i'm "cool" (lets just put it that way) So now he's gonna start coming to church every Sunday. I don't quite understand his feelings for me, seeing as how i wear baggy pants mostly and just plain t-shirts but hey.. whatever. All of this I find out yesterday by my friend at a church meeting. I "made an impression" So now i just figure that he can be ministered to more often if he keeps on coming. He's a pretty cool guy, I don't mind getting to know him.


October 29 2005
It's saturday.
Theres your post..


October 27 2005

Very tired today.
Very stressed out latly.
I cannot wait until they move out again. 1month down, 5 to go. ( if i don't go crazy first)

"All The Small Things" -Blink 182

October 24 2005

Alrighty then.
The story part of my project is going good. I have 3 outta 5 stories ready to write. The poem part i will work on tonight and the rest is history. Not a very good weekend for me. I got into 3 fights with my sister and got in trouble on sunday for not cleaning my room.(rolls eyes) Today was better, well then again it's only 11:30 and anything can happen. I gotta pick my friend up from this place inlike an hour and i have no idea where it is so that'll be fun. Very tired now so good night, sleepy time, it's computer class, he doesn't care.


October 20 2005

I still keep my last thought but to make matters worse, i just spent the last 40 minutes of my computer class joining groups.. how lame am i? (don't answer that, as if anyone would)

The coolest thing:
I have to write a my own version of The Canterbury Tales! Using my own destination, plot, settings, and people. Sounds boring but i have to write it all in iambic pentameter, which basically is a really long poem type thing with 10 beat lines. Pretty awesome!!


October 19 2005

So, I think that if i got any more boring my site would close itself down.. hmmm, interesting thought. I want to go back to California.....



October 10 2005
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month...
Women are not the only ones who can get breast cancer. Think about it.

starting over

October 05 2005
So i deleted my "bad idea" post seeing as how it just being there made me feel bad. By the way my friend is not that mad at me since i explained why i did what i did. Anyways, got this really cool e-mail and now i must share it with the world so here ya go:(it's kinda long and when i 1st read the title i was like "we only have 1?)
"One Flaw In Women"
By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord replied, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride." The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they beli eve in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is whatmakes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.


September 29 2005
That word takes ona whole new meaning after something like this. So part of my fince blew down and some shingals fell off the roof, but it coulda been worse. Thank you God! He works miracles. Awesome awesome miracles! So enough of that.. it's over and done with, i'm glad. :)
October is breast cancer awareness month. (if you didn't know) THINK PINK! Alrightly then.. g2g do some homework

Safety and more on Rita

September 23 2005
It's kinda weird that i'm excited about a cat. 3 hurricane coming very close to my own home but when you think about it, it could be worse.I"m good and safe and i think all my friends are accounted for so thats good and they're safe but to anyone who reads this: pray for the people who arn't getting out of houston. IT took me 24ish hours to just get our of TX on a drive that would usually take around 5-6. Thanks to all that our keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. I'll type more later. Gotta go glue my eyes to the t.v. and watch this disaster.

Rita.. cont. form yesterday

September 21 2005
A cat.-4 is not what i want to mess with. My family is leaving around 2ish today so we can miss some of the major major traffic. Adios and goodluck to all affected by Rita.
God bless,


September 20 2005
hurricane comin my way..
*oh no*(

Something to Think About:

September 16 2005
If you could go anywhere in the world right now (w/out having to worry about money and whatnot) where would you go?
What would be the first thing you do when you get there?

Happy Friday

September 09 2005
So i'm happy today is friday..
I only have one question for everybody who has a brain (a friend used it on their site and the answers came back quite interesting so now i'm conducting my own experiment)
If I only had a brain....
And the question is:
Half empty OR half full???
-- ----- -------- -------- -----------
To add later on:
Be specific about what is half empty or full. I will not post again until i am satisfied with the number of results.
Oh... and this really weird thingy happened when i click to view my home page. This weird picture showed up and i have no idea how in the world it got there.. umm??


September 08 2005
(why) Is a very good question. If only we knew all the answers to every "why" question. That would be awsome! and amazing.
...if only


September 07 2005
Why? Is the question i have stated for life. Just why in general..


September 04 2005