Relationship Status



Oakland High School


June 28 2007

Hmm. Summer's going well; I'm making money. Seen more movies this year than my entire high school career...


May 14 2007

Prom was amazing.

Perfect recipe?

1 Smile that is too big
1 Beautiful prom date-G.G. Kellum
12 Limo passengers
1 J.Alexander's
1 Battery-selective camera
Unlimited Black Jokes
1 Dance move to use for every song
1 Kelly Clarkson song
1 30-minute game of Twister
2 games of Volleyball
and 1 hour of sleep before 9 hours of work.

Sounds perfect to me.


March 25 2007

So, it's been awhile.


Top Chair @: Mid-state Band, Wind Band Conference, TTU Festival of Winds and Percussion, Mid-state Orchestra

Bad MTSU College Audition, receiving only 1,000 a year.

AWESOME TTU College Audition, receving $34,000 ($18,000 from band and $16,000 from Academic Scholarship.)

DBS Formal was Awesome!

I decided to go to Prom with Giyonna.

8 more weeks until Graduation!

So close to being out of this house.



February 10 2007

Music Man performances are coming up fast. We're not completely ready.

I think I'm finally letting go. As long as you don't play your guitar any time soon.

I could date one of my better friends, but I'm not sure if it's a good decision.

Getting my clarinet fixed. $275 out of my pocket. Ouch.



January 08 2007

Like always I was making a big deal out of nothing.

But I still can't look at either of my band directors in the eye and smile. Not yet.

I feel like I've crossed the line between teacher and friend with Mr. Way too much, so I'm laying back for awhile.

What have I learned from this?

1. The things I worry about are smaller than they seem.
2. Curiousity certainly does kill the cat.
3. I'd never make a good private investigator.
4. Asking before snooping is always a good choice.

I can see why they reacted the way they did. I mean, I could've stumbled upon personal information or classified information or anything. Luckily, I knew exactly where what I was looking for was located.

Thanks for your words of comfort.



January 06 2007

Better day today, though some tears fell last night and this morning.

I went to work being very bipolar: I'd smile for the customer and my friends one minute, and then turn around and get depressed.

Everything that happened yesterday feels like it was a dream.

On top of everything that happened, Mr. Jessup came up to Mr. Lawson during my lessons and let him see my Mid-state scores (the numerical results that started this whole catastrophe) and all I could do was be ashamed.

Not because I had bad scores. I had GREAT scores. I scored 176 out of 200 possible points. 57 out of 60 in sight-reading, meaning I almost had perfect.

Like I said, not because of the scores, but because my wanting to see those scores is the reason for everything wrong.

And during my lesson, Mr. Way came over and listened to me. I didn't even turn around when I heard his voice.

I'm like the little child who got caught in his parent's room with his hand in the candy bowl.

I don't really care to explain.

I know I said "BRING ON THE MISTAKES!", but I didn't mean it like this.



January 05 2007

Okay. So bad day today.

I don't usually have bad days.

So I did something today that made Mr. Way upset with me.

Having someone upset with me makes me want to like huddle in the smallest corner I can find and cry my eyes out.

I'm not used to people being upset with me.

It hurts.

I apologized to the person who deserved the apology, but it's still affecting me.

The look on Mr. Way's face haunts me everytime I close me eyes.

I relive the situation over and over, and I don't know what to do.

And when I worked concessions today, the way Mr. Way looked at me made me feel like he didn't trust me with the money.

He's one of the most important people in my life, and I am disappointing to him. He knows that I know better than to do what I did.

He expects so much from me, and his standards are high, but I've done everything right so far, except today.

He hurt me today, and I hurt him in return, though not on purpose. In hurting him, I hurt myself, so every feeling is doubled.

I don't know what to do except wait for Monday.


A New Year

January 01 2007

A new beginning. BRING ON THE MISTAKES.

Resolution? Umm.

1. Place in the top 5 at All-state (I suppose that is more of a plan rather than a resolution.)

2. Make a few more friends

3. Study hard this last semester of high school.

I suppose I could think of others, but I'm bored.

Have a happy New Year's and don't party too hard, everyone.



December 30 2006
I am grateful for what I received for Christmas.
Been practicing some.
I can't wait for this next semester.
Can't wait to see YOU.

Try this:
(Try not to repeat what I've written)

Not as easy as you might think...

1. Where is your cell phone?

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?

3. Your hair?

4. Your mother?

5. Your father?

6. Your favorite item of clothing?

7. Your dream last night?

8. Your favorite drink?

9. Your dream car?

10. The room you are in?

11. Your ex?
NonEXistent (I crack myself up.)

12. Your fear?

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?

14. Who did you hang out with today?

15. What you're not?

16. Muffins?

17: One of your wish list items?

18: Time?

19. The last thing you did?

20. What are you wearing?

22. Your favorite book?

23. The last thing you ate?

24. Your life?

25. Your mood?

26. Your friends?

27. What are you thinking about right now?

28. Your car?

29. What are you doing at the moment?

30. Favorite smell?

31. Your relationship status?

32. What is on your tv?

33. When is the last time you laughed?

34. Last time you cried?
Don't remember

35. School?



December 20 2006

Okay. So last Friday, Mr. Jessup (my band director) hands me a piece as I'm leaving.

It's called Blue Shades. Here's the link: http://manhattanbeachmusiconline.com/manhattan_beach_music/audio/blue_shades.mov

And if you've never heard of it, it is 433 measures with 168 beats a minute.

I have 3 solos in it.

The first one is 5 measures, the second one is 2 measures, and the third one is 55 measures.

THE THIRD ONE IS AN ENTIRE PAGE. If you listen to the music, you will be able to tell where the solo is. It stands out majorly.

My private lessons teacher, Mr. Lawson, had a colleague from Chicago Symphony come up to him and tell him that the entire piece relies on me. Which, of course, Mr. Lawson already knew.

This piece could be the piece that puts me on the Most Wanted (in a good way) list for numerous amounts of colleges.

If I cannot get this piece down, we won't play it at Mid-state.

Can you imagine? All the pros are looking at me now. "Can he get it or will he fail?"

I WILL get it.

Off to practice.



December 17 2006

So. I just finished watching the ENTIRE Sailormoon Series.

All 200 episodes. Gah! I love that show.



December 08 2006

I love you still.


December 02 2006

So yeah.



For the rest of the results, check out www.mtsboa.org and look for Oakland people.



November 29 2006

Okay so I finally am able to post my poem that was chosen.

But first, I will let you read the story I was gonna go with before I decided to do a poem.

The Reject:

"I love you. Is that an okay start? Discovery. What a topic. Will you allow me to speak of the Discovery of my love for you-the discovery of what love is and how love feels?

To a child, love in omniscient. My cousin goes to school every day (he's in preschool, you know) and spreads love everywhere-to his little friends, to his teachers, and even to his enemies (at that age, enemies only last a second, of course. Children know nothing about grudges).

To a person experienced with age, love may not be as artless but is just as pure. As my grandmother observes her children, and her children's children, and even the next generation after that, adoration covers every wrinkle.

But to a person my age, love like a child's or a senior's hides from most. Yet somehow, I found what most miss. When we met, my life revolutionized. Morning dew settling on fresh grass can not compare to how subtlely your presence invaded my heart.

Not even Walt Whitman could explain how true affection feels.

When I think of you, something....happens. Suddenly, I desire to be a better person (although no one complains about my persona). Every stroke of my lead against paper produces a masterpiece.

Okay. So I didn't like that, or at least, I though I could do better. So I began this poem.

The Chosen:

From The Chords

As your fingers curve ever slightly over the strings,

My heart blooms to catch the nectar from your melody

I discover what love feels like all over again

And my affections emerge to spread their fresh wings.

Recollection of this adoration's beginning escapes my mind

One day I just knew it true

Caught in a butterfly net of no encampment, my soul lays bared for your contentment.

I would have it no other way.

Softer and lighter than the descent of morning dew

Your presence invaded my heart.

Abolishing wards, vanquishing safeguards

Like a bluejay you nestled and there remained.

"I love you" dawns from between your lips occasionally,

The potency of the triplet is registered not within you.

In return, "I love you too" is voiced in which my entire spirit lies.

Your expression as pensive as The Thinker himself.

A different chord blends with my soul in the composed atmosphere

As my persona aims for extreme amiability

Aims to harmonize with your angelic lifestyle

Aims to prove my worth and value

The climax of your aria brings the heart essence tumbling from my eyes

I care not of the thoughts spoken on the outside.

All that subsists in the scope is you and me

The performance slows and ultimately concludes

Love- my discovery- renewed and revived

Catapults towards you, eager for your acceptance

Always eager for your acceptance,

Till the end of me

With the instrument-d'amour packed away, you resume your normal life

While the one who uncovered the secret of this limited existence tucks away his tears

Soothes his aching heart

Waiting for the perfect time to expose

How much he loves you."

In truth, I just realized it's not as heart-wrenching as I would want it to be. But I've read it 20 times or more.

What do you think?

I love you, and one day you will know.


To you.

November 24 2006

I'm not one to cry.

I mean, I cry about once every 8 months and it's always like a tear or two.

But somehow, you kind of bring the tears out.

How you do it, I don't know.

I love you still.

They say the truth will come to light soon.

I think about you every moment.

Not five minutes go by before I wonder if you will be with me in my future.

It's hard.

But I can survive.

Three days till I see you again.



November 22 2006

So my poem was chosen to go for the book. I'll post the poem whenever I feel like.

I deleted all my pictures on here, seeing as I'm tired of uploading.

I made Choir All-state Alternate, which is awesome for my first year being in choir.

Band mid-state is next Saturday, so my lessons teacher says that I should be prepared to perform at any minute by tomorrow.

My mp3 player eats through batteries, but I guess that comes from falling asleep with it still going...

I love you more everyday.


What's Happenin'?

November 14 2006

It's been a while.

It's been 1 month, 1 week and 1 day since I tried to refrain from letting my heart go haywire. Kayla gave me another month. I guess we'll see.

I love that person dearly, and I never want to let that go. I always mess everything up when I open my mouth, so I continue to keep shut. But that person has to know someday...



October 25 2006

I've been on Xanga for 1068 days. And now it has started to die. I had about 85 subscriptions that I had to reduce to 19.

We go our separates ways, I suppose. I didn't think it would start with the internet first, however.

Is Phusebox the next to die?



October 22 2006

14 days without liking anyone.

This is very hard.

Goodnight, my someone, I know you're out there somewhere.


The Musical

October 15 2006

So I know what I'm aiming for.

I wanna be Olin Britt in The Music Man.

If you've never seen the musical, he's part of a town board who chase the lead character around, demanding that he present his credentials. And the lead avoids them by saying particular keywords, which reminds the quartet of songs that they know, and so they sing the song forgetting about the character.

I want the Bass part.