Always worrying...

July 20 2005
Well its a new day, so that means that I have learned something new today. And it just happens to be something that I want to share with anyone who might be reading this. I am a worrier. Its what I do. I worry about my family. I worry about my friends. I worry about school. And there always seems to be some "situation" that has me worring about how someone took something I said....or how this or that person is viewing me and my meaning behind the things I do. See.....always worrying. Well, last night I was going through this old journal I had that I would write in during my quiet times. I read an entry from June of last year and it basically said everything that I said at the beginning of this blog. Then I had referenced Matthew 6:25-27. It says, "Therefore I tell you,do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ".......Wow.....That pretty much spells it out. It is pointless to worry. What does it accomplish? The battle has already been won. We have nothing to worry about it. Our Father who loves us beyond comprehension wants to take care of all our needs. We just have to trust, to submit completely, and we will be blessed. God has such huge plans for all of us, and His plans far exceed our wildest dreams. I pray that I will learn to give it all to Him, to stop wasting my energy worrying about everything, and focus all that on trusting and seeking after God with each new day He gives me.

By the way...this was obviously brought on by something I was foolishly worrying about, and can I just say... "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28


July 18 2005
You know what I realized tonight? That I probably haven't grown as much in my entire life combined, than I have in the past year. I just feel as if I'm a completely different person sometimes. It is especially clear when you run into people from your past. Tonight, I had dinner with a group of girls I went to high school with and it was just mind boggling to sit and listen to conversations. To think, that at one point in my life, I may have talked like that. It was like people were talking and talking....but no one was really saying anything. Don't get me wrong, it was nice to see everyone. But I have started to see the effects of time, and how people do really change....while, however sad it may be, you know that some never will. I am so thankful to my Savior for the path He has led me down and the changes He has made in me, and the way I think. He knows what I need, and He will see to it that I have it. He is growing me....I can feel it. And that in itself is amazing. He is writing my story, and I just look forward to every new day that I get to walk with he shows me how awesome He is, and how much he wants to do in me. Does it get any better than that?

What was I thinking?

July 17 2005
I have the horrible habit of making a huge ordeal out of the smallest situations. I know....its a curse. But its what I do. I can be a little compulsive at times. I'll get caught up in the heat of the moment, say or do something that I thought was the right thing at the time.....and the minute I do, that feeling of regret fills me. I hate that feeling. And I don't let it go. Oh no, that would be to simple. I dwell on it for days. I worry myself over it, and waste so much time and energy. I have discovered that I am a person very much in need of reassurance. I need someone to look at me, understand what I'm feeling, and tell me that it will all blow over, and later in life I will look back on this and laugh. That sounds so needy, and I am really not a needy person. I'm just a girl who needs a little reassurance from time to time. Ok, well I have rambled on and on about a very random topic. I'm done for now....

At Last...

July 09 2005
Well, I finally did it. Well not so much me as Rachael. (Thanks girl!) Now I won't feel out of the loop when yall are going on and on about somone's post on here. I'm in!


July 09 2005
hello! ok so this is actually rachael...but you know i gotta help a friend out...kaila and nathan!!! ;) anyway, we are about to eat hot dogs and perhaps go swimming! yay for fun! ok bye now!