well life lately has been a series of ups and downs... i hav come to realize that the only one person who actually cares how u feel is GOD. i hav gone to church a lot lately and i cant truthfully say that god is the only reason i was going... but now he will be. we hav hit bible study really hard lately and i hav realized a lot of stuff about myself. the best way to say it is the title of this entry. The hardest part of holding on truly is letting go.. me and ben (6 ft 5) both agree about that. we r both going through similar things right now so we know how it is. i hav been praying hard on the feelings i hav for this one person. i hav asked god to take them away if they rnt meant to be. idk if he heard it or not  though cause it keeps seeming like they rnt from him, but they rnt gone yet. so HE must hav a reason for them being there i just wish he would let me know wat his reasoning is... but i truly thank god for the amazing group of friends that i have... they r awesome. idk wat i would do without them. man this was a long one.. i hav to go. hav an amazing rest of the week. GOD BLESS-forrest