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April 20, 2007

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im sorry...

im sorry. this is to all of my friends that i have treated like crap the past few days.  i have a lot of things going through my head right now and i have been a real jerk and not even thought how i might be treating the people around me.  idk im just so confused and crushed right now.  i just have not seen God ne where in my life at all lately. i know that sounds really bad but im sorry that is how i really feel.  if you all didnt know thats why i havnt been at church n a long time.  i dont think i need to be there when my mind isnt going to be on him. it would be on everything going on. like i said i am very sorry if i have hurt you. if you dont know why, then ask me and ill try to explain it you all deserve to know. but ill see all of yall later -forrest  
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You Are: David Ortiz

You are "Mr. Clutch". You are content to wait on the bench until your turn at bat. You don't make too much noise until the game is on the line. You aren't too flashy or the loudest in the crowd, but whenever the Sox need you, you deliver. Big Papi.
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i am ashamed...

well we had bible study tonight. and it was a rude awakening for me at least. this weekend was one weekend for my church. and people said some stuff that really hit me hard about the way we treat other people. this weekend i dont really think i treated some people very well and i am extremely ashamed of myself for that. ya know i dont consider myself the type of person someone would want to look up to, but tonight someone said that people do look up to me, i dont know y, but then they also said that i really let people down in the way i acted that just really tore me up inside. i was completely broken. but im not going to dwell on something that is done and in the past. im going to look foward and learn from this mistake. and most importantly follow GOD. believe it or not HE really showed me some things this weekend, HE really moved in my life and i am so thankful for that.

Live by faith, through the spirit. and dont forget Hebrew 12:2.

a wise friend said we should all read that verse. well ill talk to yall later IN CHRIST- forrest

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i wish i couldnt care...

well i had an awesome weekend this weekend. but then i got home and i had to do something that i really didnt want to. some of u know wat it is.  but ne way.. it really sucked having to do it.  i hate making people feel bad. i dont know, if i didnt hav feelings then i wouldnt feel bad. and it sucks cause i do care.

its just the fact that i hear that wat i feel and think matters and i really dont think that it does. maybe im just stupid i dont know. but until someone can prove me wrong then that is wat im going to think. it just sucks.

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"The hardest part of holding on is letting go."

well life lately has been a series of ups and downs... i hav come to realize that the only one person who actually cares how u feel is GOD. i hav gone to church a lot lately and i cant truthfully say that god is the only reason i was going... but now he will be. we hav hit bible study really hard lately and i hav realized a lot of stuff about myself. the best way to say it is the title of this entry. The hardest part of holding on truly is letting go.. me and ben (6 ft 5) both agree about that. we r both going through similar things right now so we know how it is. i hav been praying hard on the feelings i hav for this one person. i hav asked god to take them away if they rnt meant to be. idk if he heard it or not  though cause it keeps seeming like they rnt from him, but they rnt gone yet. so HE must hav a reason for them being there i just wish he would let me know wat his reasoning is... but i truly thank god for the amazing group of friends that i have... they r awesome. idk wat i would do without them. man this was a long one.. i hav to go. hav an amazing rest of the week. GOD BLESS-forrest

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