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July 06, 2007

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57 total entries
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Job Hunt

So I have just started another job hunt now that I am back in PA. It get's pretty discouraging looking for a job. You would think that if you have a college degree you could get a job. True it has only been 4 days since I have been looking and applying for jobs but it does get frustrating. Especially since for the past month I have been looking for a job in New Orleans. Tomorrow I am contacting a temp angency so I can maybe find a job that way or at least a temporary job until I find something that I want to do. Looking for a job sucks! 
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Another Drive

So tomorrow I head out to PA. It's gonna be a two day drive. At times I can't belive all that I have gone through this month and how God has been so good through out it all. It is sad to leave this place that I have dreamed about for so long and to leave it with these circumstances. Maybe I will return but right now I think it will be a while. So tomorrow night I will be in Knoxville then to Baltimore then home to Philly. Pray that I will make it home safely!

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Last Night

  So tonight is my last night in my apartment. I don't think it has hit me yet that I am really leaving tomorrow. All my stuff is packed, I have said a ton of goodbyes and am getting ready to go to church tomorrow and say good bye to my friends and Skyline Family tomorrow. I don't like saying goodbyes, it was hard enough to say goodbye the other day to my college friends in the city.
I am trying to look past my fears and see what God has for me. God has a plan for me and I want what he has for me more than anything.
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So this week has been a week of packing and saying goodbyes. I went out on Sunday night with my staff from church. It was really nice, they all went around the table and said something about me. I cried. I don't look forward to saying goodbye on Sunday. I will be saying goodby to my boss today, he si going to Europe tonight for two weeks.
Today I am going to the city today so I can see some people before I leave. It will be a nice break from all the packing I have been doing. I don't want to pack, i hate it!
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Early morning dream

 So right before I woke up this morning I had this ridiculus dream about my wedding. Now let me make clear that I am not engaged nor is there even the chance of being engaged any where in the near future so why I am dreaming about my wedding I have no clue. Maybe because every one around me is getting married and talking about weddings. Any way the dream was pretty disturbing. I dreamt that it was the day of my wedding and no one would help me with anyting. I had to go pick up my dress and then go home to get ready and do my hair an makeup, but I had spent all of this time seeing in like my mom or really any one would pick me up to go over to the place that the wedding was because I did not want to have to drive my self over there and no one would. So there was like 2 hours before the wedding and I still did not have my dress or a ride to my wedding. So finally my roommate Susan was like I'll ride over with you and take your car home. We get to the dress place and they said that they only had the skirt of my dress my mom took the top to get altered and I started freeking out because #1 my dress was not supposed to be two pieces and #2 that I was sure that my mom would get it altered to small and I would not be able to fit into my dress. But they ended up finding my dress but we were so late that I did not have enough time to go and get my hair and makeup done. So we have to go straight to the wedding site and I see my mom and I start yelling at her because she wouldn't help me with anything and about the dress and then I notice that she is wearing a white dress and I get so mad because it's supposed to be my day and she is wearing a white dress. My roommate pushes me into this room but on the way I pass my future husband, who turns out to be this guy I went to college with and it is definetely a guy that I would not want to marry, I can't really stand him for very long periods of time. So then I was like what the crap I am marrying him! I get into the room and we put the dress on and the whole time I am crying. Then Susan got my friends Ellie and Maria and they came in and started to do my hair and makeup and then I woke up. The whole dream stressed me out so much that I laid in my bed for like 30 minutes trying to convience myself that is not what my wedding will be like, my mom would not try to steal my day, and I would not marry that boy. 
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