hello phusebox-ers
I seriously havent made a real entry
in here for quite awhile.
I actually kind of miss it.
I've had a pretty rough week,
like, I feel like God is putting
me through all this hard stuff
and as much as it's making me upset,
I see a good outcome.
uhm, my church's saturday night live
type of show is starting up next week
[UNDERGROUND]
and I am pretty pumped up for it.
we have DDR, Xbox, a cappicino machine :]
and on top of all that, an awesome show
so you should definately come out
and check it out because it's great.
it's third baptist church
[behind fat moe's and wendy's on memorial]
school has been pretty good too.
loving all my classes and teachers
and I have lunch with all my friends
I feel a good year coming on.
the new principal is going to work a miracle
for oakland and I'm proud.
we'll be back on top in no time,
even IF we have to tuck our shirts in.
it's actually not as bad as I thought.
the boys look cuter :]
uhm, me and chad are still going out
it's been a great eight months.
I love him more everyday.
the year and a half I've known him,
he's been nothing but this sweet boy to me.

well what's going on with you?
I'd like to know.
I've lost all touch with you.
if I get no comments, it's cool
I understand, since I havent been on
in so dang long.
you're probably like, "who's jamie?" lol

God is beautiful.

hey guys,
I know it's been awhile
& it's just I'm busy.
and now I have a myspace.
so juggling xanga, phusebox, and myspace
were pretty impossible, lol.
but I thought I'd actually update
and most of you probably wont read it,
but it's okay.

God has been doing some
pretty good things in my life.
I've been doing this Bible study
and the book we are reading is
-dont watse your life by john piper.
and I would recommend it.
some areas of it are hard
and you actually have to think about it.
but it all comes down to say
that glorifying God & your joy should be one.
a lot of people look at it as two things like
"I get to be happy" or "I get to glorify God"
I really dont want to waste my life
because I am only fifteen.
& hopefully if God chooses to keep me here,
I have so much more to do.
I'll be a junior next year
& then I have to start thing about my life
and what all I would like to do with it.
I was thinking about what I wanted to do
with my life the other day and God really spoke to me.
I know I want to be a teacher but
I know japanese and I am learning spanish.
I could go to a different country to minister
but be able to teach at the same time.
so yes, God has called me to ministry
& I am pretty excited about it.
now, maybe I wont stay my whole life..
but I would like to do that at least
two or three years RIGHT after college.
so I wont have attachment like children and a husband.
God has just been growing in me
& I love it.

my summer has been good.
on a scale or one to ten.
probably a 9.5

how have you been?

got a hair cut :]

you like?

I need opinions.

because I'm not too sure about it yet.

www.myspace.com/shazambaby <-- add me :]

cmon on baby and race me

& maybe we'll just find ourselves.

summer here I come.

listen to--I will survive by caaaakkkeee.

clemency [band]

oakland at 7:15 [morning]

today!!

come seeeeee

Staring at the blank page before you,
open up the dirty window,
and let the sun illuminate the words
that you could not find.
Reaching for something in the distance,
so close you can almost taste it.
Release your inhibitions,
feel the rain on your skin.
No one else can feel it for you,
only you can let it in.
No one else, no one else,
can speak the words on your lips.
Drench yourself in words unspoken,
live your life with arms wide open.
Today is where your book begins,
the rest is still unwritten...

sorry, I've had this song suck in my head
for the last three freaking days.

happy birthday to taylor simpson.
one of the best chicks in tha world :)
sixteen, wow you're growing up, lol

this week has gone by fast.
and next thing I'll know school will be over
I'll miss my friends but goodness,
I sure am ready for a break.
a gooood long break, lol
this year has been interesting.
I met so many people, whom I love very much
and I've gotten to experience so much.
I'm growing up way too fast.
I dont know if that is a good thing or not.

I'm not doing anything tomorrow,
and sunday I'm going to chad's house
[hopefully]
& there's the church picnic.

oh, oh.
happy early birthday tiffany.
[april 30th]

I'm starting to use mybattleplan [ www.battlecry.com ]
I got the site from aquire the fire.
I encourage you to use it, it's pretty cool.
it's for believers to join up together
so we can make a difference together.
makes me happy so many people
want to live for God.
that's just awesome, really it is.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4.

taking a break.

I'll be on aim though..

find out who you are,

&

do it on purpose.

in the last 72 hours,
considering that I havent been able to sleep
I have thought about many things.
since sunday,
I've only been able to sleep
three or fours hours out of the night
the rest of the time,
I lay there and think
or listen to music.

I asked God a lot of questions
and I got some answers to some of them.
I feel Him there next to me at night.
I say, it's a good feeling.

I thought about my family.
I love them, but oh how I need to get away
even if it's for a day.
when I thought about this,
I mostly thought about my sister
because I am close to her.
and when she gets older, I hope she
doesnt turn out anything like me.

I thought about my friends.
we've changed, much
good in some ways, bad in some ways
a lot of love lost, a lot of love gained.
but I love them no matter what.
even if we laugh and talk all day
or we dont see each other for months
I love them.

I thought about chad,
and how happy I have been since september.
especially now, I like that I can talk to him
I love that he's my bestfriend, not only my boyfriend
and what I like knowing the most is,
he's there and that he loves me.
I know he's right there by me when I struggle.

then I thought about me.
I've changed a lot, I know this
I'm just not quite sure if it's for the best
or for the worst.
I'm not any stronger
yes in my faith, I am
but, not towards other things.
I thought yesteday,
I dont want what my parents want.
I know, I know, "what kid does?"
they push me to do things
and it only pushes me away from them
and I hate that because I want to be close.
knowing I have so many fears,
I officially thought of something.
I want a day full of crazy.
one day, I'm going to just go full out crazy
and I'm not going to second guess anything I do
I'm just going to do it.

I'm just going to do it..

Sitting round feeling far away,
so far away but I can feel the debris.
Can you feel it?
you interrupt me from a friendly conversation,
to tell me how great its all gonna be.
You might notice some hesitation,
cause whats important to you is not important to me.
Way down by the edge of your reasons,its beginning to show
&& all I wanna know is..

where'd all the good people go?
Ive been changin channels.
I dont see them on the tv shows.
where'd all the good people go?
we got heaps and heaps of what we sow.

I can only name a few good people

but

where did all the good people go?

only jack johnson can speak these words.

spring break.

me and ben dover are gonna have some fun.

lots of chad and hopefully claire :)

what about you?

yesterday, oh man, I had fun.
me, rachel j, rachel h, dillon, patton, and kyle
all went to go see she's the man.
hilar-ious movie
I saw hunter davis, jonathan day, ste, abby-dee,
carrie, lauren and richard, amber, aubrey and more people
all in like a two hour period.
I got to see my patton :)
after like a billion months, lol
and I met kyle for the first time
but he's a cool kidd.
we went to the movies at 7 but the ticket were sold out
so we hung out at the mall til like 9
and then we watched the 9:30 movie.
we had to take everyone home so I didnt get home til like 1
craziness
but I had lots of fun.

today, I had this, ahahaha math contest
yes, I was doing it for mrs snell
because I really needed the extra credit.
but it was okay
and I found out, I'm smart lol

yesterday I also realized,
no matter what, I need to smile
because there was a lot of drama in 1st period
about the smallest things
and I dont want stuff like that to get to me
it'll add more stress to me.
which, everything is getting better stress wise
maybe not the eating habit wise..
it'll get better though, if I want it to

DANDELIONxx: you coming to el ymt-o?
GOSH suzanne: heck yes-o
DANDELIONxx: yay-o
GOSH suzanne: jamie's a freako
GOSH suzanne: just kiddingo!
DANDELIONxx: suzanne a butt-o
DANDELIONxx: and I'm not kidding-o
DANDELIONxx: ahaha, just playin
GOSH suzanne: you better be or i'll beat you upo
DANDELIONxx: ahah I'd like to see you try-o
GOSH suzanne: haha
DANDELIONxx:
DANDELIONxx: I'm riding with paige
GOSH suzanne: i know
GOSH suzanne: cause i stalk you
DANDELIONxx: :O
DANDELIONxx: I'm kind of flattered
GOSH suzanne: you should be
GOSH suzanne: i'm actually on a laptop
GOSH suzanne: and i'm sitting in a bush in your front yard
DANDELIONxx: I dont have a bush in my yard
DANDELIONxx: ahaha
GOSH suzanne: i brought my own
DANDELIONxx: LOL
GOSH suzanne: so you wouldn't see me
DANDELIONxx: I'm sure I wont see that bush in my yard that we didnt even plant and that hasnt been there in the last 10 years of my life
GOSH suzanne: of course not because you just aren't that observant
DANDELIONxx: lol, yep, that's right
GOSH suzanne: for example i was in your room last night watching you sleep and you didn't even notice
DANDELIONxx: what? you were in my room? that's kind of creepy..how'd you get in?
GOSH suzanne: i just slipped through your window
DANDELIONxx: maybe that's why it gets so cold in my room, because...my window's open
GOSH suzanne: hahahaha duh
DANDELIONxx: all along I thought it was the guy down the street from me, crawling into my room and raping me
DANDELIONxx: geez, never would have thought it was you
GOSH suzanne: yeah i don't come off as a weird freakish stalker person
DANDELIONxx: oh no no
GOSH suzanne: haha

do you know what's amazing?

1] well my poem got published in that expressions thing
2] I get to make up a ballet dance for the poppy flowers
in the wizard of oz play for oakland.
so that definitely means you have to come now
3] we get to watch my faaaaavorite movie in theatre!
which is 10 things I hate about you
the exact movie I was telling chad that I wanted to see like two days ago.

I am oh so very happy at the moment.

flower's chaaddd gave me :)

"Honestly, if you're not willing to sound stupid you don't deserve to be in love"
-a lot like love

tomorrow, no school or work for me :)
yessssss, aha

thanks for the comments everyone!
you guys always make me happy. <3

hmm, well friday is laser tag
and alexanna and maybe chad are coming over beforehand
so we can hang out and just go all together
I'm exciiiiited
my el best friend tyler jones is coming too
man, I am just ready ahaha
but no dr. pepper...[sighs]

snow is pretty pretty pretty.
I hope it snows some more monday night
so maybe we wont have to go to school tuesday either
[crosses fingers]

well that's all for right now
I'm gonna post pictures of my flowers from chad lata
just for taylor simpson
that's her valentine from me,
we decided in theatre, heh

okay, I love you guys.

billie holiday.

oh yes.

I've been listening--all morning

because well, NO SCHOOL :)

Ohh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won't you come over check up on it

--check on it by beyonce [[yep feeling pretty gangsta today]]

this week has been okay
and I've got the teachers fooled at oakland
but I'm kind of a kiss up
so what did I expect?

& also this week someone thought I looked
1-- a mexican [I dont know]
2-- an indian [laura white]
3-- a hawaiian [emily from spanish]
4-- extra asian [laura white again]
ahaha, I just that was hilarious
I can pull off any ethnic look

knoxville was amazing
and the chior was beuatiful :)
but of course it wouldnt have been
if morgan, tiffany, and I werent there

so life's been too good to me.

great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, amazing relationship with my favorite, God. :)

peace out kids.

chad and I have been going out for::

one month

it's been an amazing month too
I just cant believe how happy I have been
and how blessed I feel every single day
I have been getting closer to God as well
chad & I have spent every weekend together so far
and also we will hopefully once again this week
he's too wonderful to explain
right now
I feel like I love my life
more than those silly love stories
I am constantly watching
like--
the notebook, moulin rouge, garden state, etc
you know, you know

hmm snowday
was relaxing, just glad it happened

I got some more music for me
so I can sing, play the guitar and piano with
I can honestly say norah jones is the bomb.

hmph, I missed american idol.
what a shame, I heard it was funny
stupid dance class
ahaha but my jazz dance is quite hott
we're dancing to -fever
so you shall listen to it
because
you love me, mmhmm

conversations of the day--

[in english]
jamie: do you have a map?
rachel: no, why?
jamie: because I'm lost in your eyes
rachel: jamie, shut up, you're a loser
--we both bust into laughter

[in science]
jamie: I like to sit the the back
laura: yeah, I like those fandango commerical

jamie: yeah me too
laura: they'll make some hott paper bag babies
jamie: ahahahahahaha, yeeeeaaahhh-uuuhhh

okey, I'll let you cookies go
see you next time <3

it's..

it's snowing :]

you're beautiful, that's for sure
you'll never ever fade, you're lovely
but it's not for sure that I won't ever change
&& though my love is rare, though my love is true

I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is
&& baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away

this song explains me in a way
I am afraid a lot of the times
I dont like trying a lot of things because
I overthink the consequences
I've had many people call me a goody
I'm not, I'm just scared
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I dont want to do that anymore
I want to experience things
because it could be the greatest thing in my life
like love, something I am experiencing
it's going wonderfully now..
but later, I'll start trying to make excuses
and I dont want that
especially since I have the most wonderful thing
going for me at this very moment
but with all this love and help from everyone
I actually think,
I wont have to be the "goody"
everyone thinks I am

these seniors in my theatre class
were talking about prom and college
and it hit me that I am growing up
and in about three years, that's going to be me
-sighs-

I've been happy, content, extatic
d, all of the above
I feel very blessed.
with my friends, family, church, boyfriend
I love them all.

ohohoh
I got a 3.8, baby
ahaha, that's right.
in your momma's face
that's right.

remember when we had our innocence?
I miss those days
especially when I see what's happening to
people so close to me
I just want to slap them
but I guess I cant do anything about it

hope you like the new profile picture?

oh, the questions of the day is--
if you could do something special,
I mean REALLY special, for someone
what would you do? and why?

ps;; I like the new ketchup packet. random, I know. but have you seen those things?

something is changing
something is taking place
honestly, I dont know if I like it
I've felt like this before
I dont want to feel it again
too many hurt people
too much that's been said
c'mon, please dont do this to me again.

x_x

jaamie.

new years eve is a good day to make friends and say silly things.

Tanmanistheman90: probabaly?
DANDELIONxx: what?
Tanmanistheman90: yeah
DANDELIONxx: what are you talking about?
Tanmanistheman90: she only told me yesturday.
DANDELIONxx: what did she tell you?
Tanmanistheman90: pants
DANDELIONxx: what about the pants?
Tanmanistheman90: they dies
DANDELIONxx: yeah, I told her that last week
Tanmanistheman90: n-n-n-n-n-noses
DANDELIONxx: m-m-m-m-ouths
Tanmanistheman90: the KKK took my baby away!
DANDELIONxx: OH NO
DANDELIONxx: the KKK rape my mom
DANDELIONxx: raped*
DANDELIONxx: it was hard on the family
Tanmanistheman90: in the forest
DANDELIONxx: yeah.
DANDELIONxx: in the back of the ditch
Tanmanistheman90: lol
DANDELIONxx: I meant truck. but whatever
Tanmanistheman90: wait yopur the mean women that wouldnt tell me how to get music or background on phuse!
DANDELIONxx: wait, your the kid who wouldnt leave me alone the whole day asking me about the music and background.
Tanmanistheman90: it was like twent minutes
DANDELIONxx: yeah, I know
DANDELIONxx: lol

two thousand six, here I come

with my wonderful friends, boyfriend, and family.

someday baby,

you & I

are gonna be the ones.

dear kidds.

hmmm to day kind of sucks
I had all these plans that got canceled
first it was to claire's house but
things didnt work out well so we're just going to
take a raincheck.
then laura and cody was supposed to come over
but laura is going somewhere else
it just seems like cody & I have no luck with
the movie planning.
and then I wanted to get my hair cut
but the lady got sick..
and my mom is being a...mom
I got dragged to wal-mart
only to walk around aimlessly for an hour and a half
(but I found c.d's I'd like to buy)
she's getting aggitated with everythig I do
and it's making me mad
because I'm not really doing anything!
erg.
hopefully it'll get better when
I talk to chad or when tifany comes over
she hasnt been here in a while
and we have lots to talk about.

I would like to see king kong.
josh said if you are a logical person, you shouldnt
but I'm not really a logical person, so I might as well
he said it was weird that there's a giant monkey
and then a lady, and this monkey is killing all her friends
yet, she still loves the giant monkey..
hmm, yep sounds good to me. ahaha

school is going to start back up soon.
and I am not really wanting to go back
usually I'm like, "yeah! school"
but lately, I just dont want to go
at least I have laura, without her
I dont think I could survive oakland
I also have to go to work monday, ick
I have to work longer though
instead of going in like at four I shall go in at two
I might finish early but then again, I might have to work
until about seven thirty, and I really dont want that.
my paycheck shall be bigger than usual this month though
so that's a benefit :D

okayokay. have a wonderful day.
I shall leave you with this quote.

"I believe in Christianity

as I believe that the sun has risen:

not only because I see it,

but because by it I see everything

else."
--C. S. Lewis

love,

jamie