I am Jack's sense of total frustration....

Everyone is pairing up. I'm single. I'm happy being single. But those of us who are happy and single often find it a little hard to walk out the front door during fall (or as my friend Joel refers to it, "hook-up season," much like basketball or football season, involving bets, recruitment, an off-season, and of course, "break-up season").

One of my first graders called me Mrs. the other day. I corrected her, explaining that I am "Miss McComas" because I'm not married. The boy in line behind her, shocked, said "You're not married? How can you have a job if you're not married?!"

It was funny at the time. However, when I related the story to my mom (because that was a good idea), she said something (which I have probably forced out of my memory due to trauma) about "why don't you just hook up with someone and get married?" My mother fans the flame that is attached to the fuse that is attached to the very large bomb entitled "WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I NEED TO BE MARRIED?!?!" Thankfully, my Dad said, "She needs a man right now like a fish needs a bicycle." However unoriginal his statement, it was rather helpful in vidicating me.

I realize that in complaining about being single, I am probably just coming off as desperate for a date, but I'm really not. I'm just tired of the way our society treats singles--like outcasts. Lauren F. Winner addresses this in her book "RealSex" and she is dead on the money. She says that as great as romance and love are, you can't force people to be in relationships, and we as a society can't keep stigmatizing singles. So often--especially in churches, it seems--we treat singleness like a disease with symptoms (alone on a Friday night, going to a wedding stag, living in a single bedroom apartment) that need cured. THIS IS STUPID! I am having the time of my life. I get to spend my extra income on me. I get to save a bunch of money. I don't have to worry about someone else's problems, feelings, or plans with every decision I make. I can hang out with the girls one night and the guys another. This isn't bad.

On top of that, my current state of singularity is a choice. (Three break-ups in six months will cause you to make such decisions!) I discovered some time ago that I was putting too much stock in relationships. I associated a relationship with my self-worth. I was worshipping a boyfriend instead of God. I was doing everything I could to get attention from the opposite sex, and I ended up getting used, hurt, and bitter. I am so much better off now.

Don't get me wrong. I cry during chick flicks wondering why that guy isn't knocking on my door with flowers. I dream about a wedding day (a perpetual symptom of womanhood). I still flirt. I am up for a date. I believe God has someone out there for me. I love him already. I can't wait to meet him. I'm trying to prepare myself for him. But if now is not the time, I have so much else going for me. And for once in my life, I really believe that.

So to all those of you out there trying to set me up on dates, or raising your eyebrows every time I mention a male friend, or thinking "poor thing, I hope she finds a man someday": stop thinking that right this second. I'm free from all that. I'm single. I like it. I'm up for change, but I am content. I do not have a disease. I have a life. And an abundant one at that.

That's my venting moment.

I am Jack's overwhelming sense of vidication.

People say that God doesn't speak audibly anymore. I don't know if I believe this. I think maybe we're just not listening.

I just read "Do You Think I'm Beautiful" by Angela Thomas. One of the chapters is on the noise and clutter in our lives. It spoke to me, and made me think a little further. This noise is why we cannot hear God. The Bible says that He has a still, small voice. When you're surrounded by carhorns, subwoofers, shouting people (because that is the only way, it seems, to be heard anymore), and the noise in our own heads. I don't know about you, but it's loud in there. It may die down for a few moments, but then it starts again. Like rush hour on a busy highway, there is the morning, noon, and evening version, with only a short lull for the dinner hour before the trucks take over. And that is when it is the loudest--at night, when those Mack trucks of doubt and insecurity assail.

And this is my blog, so I can be completely candid, right? Sometimes, I feel that no matter how awesome God thinks I am, that doesn't matter, because human beings don't. What a pitiful sinner I am to think that. And to presume that it matters. Do we realize--ever--that the God of Creation, the most powerful Power, the Force that makes the universal glue of Star Wars fame seem no greater than duct tape (although duct tape is awesome and quite comparable to the Force, with a dark side and a light side and a bond that holds the universe together) thinks we are great? He created us in His image. He makes time for us. We can BOLDLY enter His throne room any time we want! Why don't we?

When you start to realize this, you not only finally get what John Piper has been ranting about for so long, but you also wonder why you are sitting at your computer reading a blog when you should be running through the streets screaming, "Jesus love you!" But then you hear that voice. The one that made its way through all the noise, the stress, the fear, the depression, the confusion, the insecurity. You hear Him whisper to you, "I know what I'm doing. I'm putting you here for a reason. Now close your mouth and listen so you don't miss the ways you can tell people I love them."

I have thought for so long that there was no way I could completely serve God unless I gave up the whole teaching thing and did the ministry thing. Then one day, one of my friends talked about his teaching job and how it was a ministry. He talked about loving kids that got no love at home, and how he could reflect Jesus on them. I realized I've been going about this the wrong way. I wanted to change my circumstances to serve God, when what I needed to do was change my attitude.

Once again, I cry, without concern or inhibition, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!
Psalm 45
I Corinthians 13
Philippians 4

That's my random thoughts for the week.

One more addition...

This week marked the inaugural "Waters" of the semester...this is the praise and worship gathering of University Christian Fellowship at Marshall University. Yes I'm graduated, but I'm still involved. God's doing great things there.

Anyhoo, there was a lot of skepticism because we changed to an off-campus location (all the campus ministries got screwed up in scheduling due to a Greek society take-over). Praise God, we had a good turn-out. Plus, Jay brought an awesome message and managed to throw in the Blue Oyster Cult skit from SNL. "I've got a fever, and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL!" I think the point, though, was that we need to be living the life OUT LOUD, because someone out there will hear our cowbell (the Gospel, in this convoluted case) and decide that it's the only cure for their ailments.

Also, Jay has made the theme of the semester "Unleash your Uniqueness," although he says that some of us (and at this point he looked directly at me...not sure why...) need to reel in the uniqueness. I identify with Peter: not always sure I know what God's doing, but I want in on it. And you skeptics out there: Don't pick too much on Peter. He was the only one to step out of the boat that one time.

This week, school started. My first thought was, okay, I have a job. Now what?

I am very blessed to be surrounded by wonderful Christian teachers and principles. (Yay! I can get away with a few sacred Christmas songs!)

Oh, and bulletin boards? Not easy! And I have 2 classrooms at 2 schools. My life has been hanging out with old equipment and bulletin boards....and dusting....lots of dusting!

This is definitely increasing my faith, though. I prayed for one job offer. I had three interviews from 8 bids. I ended up with one job offer. I know this is where God wants me right now. (This is a smiley face moment) On top of that, God is reminding me that He does not call the equipped, He equips the called.

So glad to see Luke and Joey, the Wonder Non-Brothers on here! Miss you guys so much!

Emily and Jess, this is me thanking God that we share a wall (which will soon be torn down and replaced with an accordion divider....I'm gonna run it by Big Green...in fact, Joel suggests busting out your wall with the Taylors, too. We can have a real live compound!).

And to everyone out there, Genesis 3 is SO not just original sin! There is so much more to it than that... More later.

Love to all!

Okay, I told everyone that I would collect quotes on our mission in AZ and that I would post them. Here they are, with much ado and even more public demand:

"Oh, look at the rocks! They look like little turds!" --"Hard Core Bacon" Erin Kelly

"What's wrong? Can we pee?!" --Branden Baker, after a long drive to the Grand Canyon

"You can come in, but I'm warning you: we're not wearing any pants!" --me, after a long day and a lot of caffeine

"I'm completely ignorant!" --Hard Core

"ROCKS!....Rocks, rocks, rocks, rocks, rocks!" --Tiffany "Talks-in-Sleep" Manning

"I'm a lousy expert!" --Rachel Dozier, describing her status after checking all 44 WVians and Alabamans for lice (which, in its singular form is "louse")

"I want everyone to be peeing clear!" --Jay Barrow, on the dehydration situation in AZ, prompting us to then ask if there was a prize for the first clear peeing individual and what process would be used for proof...yikes.

"Carefree Highway...Happy Valley...these people are on a lot of drugs!" --Tiffany Manning, on the geographic locations noted driving from Flagstaff to Phoenix

"I wonder if we can fit one of these coffee tables in our luggage..." --Tiffany Manning, on the amazing hotel we got to spend the night in after a week of roughing it during tarantula season near the Apache rez (thank you, Jamie Waugh!)

Guess what I've been doing the past few days? Painting! Again! Thank goodness nothing is in Caribbean blue!
University Christian Fellowship recently received a much-needed budget to refurbish our campus house at Marshall University. We decided that the off-beige interior was getting old, so project numero uno is to paint the whole building. We have a purple prayer room (my favorite so far), a very green main room, an amazing electric blue kitchen, and a very, very red bathroom that has been the subject of contention for many. Some have mixed feelings. Some, like my friend Jess, think it is "horrid" (but she meant it in the nicest possible way!). I, personally, think it's great! I love red. Next on the list after painting is putting together the computer lab which has been much contemplated and pontificated for the past year, but little progress has been made. The goal is that the campus house will be more of a hang-out (a la "the Max" from "Saved by the Bell"). This way, we will have more of an outreach.
In other news, I am, for all intents and purposes, gainfully employed. I was offered a job teaching music at two elementary schools in a local county. I took the job. I prayed that the first job offer would be the right one, and I am trusting that God granted that request. It's a bit of a drive to work every morning, but I am, nevertheless, excited. :-)
Anyway, that's life right now.

So I just joined the Paint the Town group. It's really amazing how one week affected me so much. Maybe it's not that my life and my neighborhood is so boring. Maybe it's not that anything there was so exciting (though it really was). Maybe it's more that for one week in my entire life, no one had an attitude problem. No one had a bad word to say about anyone. Everyone was just there to work and praise God. Everyone just wanted to do the job. Life is so in the attitude. Why don't people get that? I came back to my retail job (in the middle of back to school season) to find everyone on edge. Everyone was quick to accuse, pass blame, offend and be offended. It was culture shock. The recovery from the Bronx has not been that I no longer have to dodge cabs, live with no air-conditioning, spend the day picking paint from under my nails, or eat nothing but cold cut sandwiches (with Italian dressing). The adjustment isn't in the building size or the routine. It's not in the location or the job I'm doing. It's not even in this intense separation anxiety from people who became my entire world for a week.
The difference is that the attitude is not the same. The difference is that I've tasted a bit of heaven and now I have to go back. This is how I felt after Passion '05 Nashville, only more so because I also have a sense of accomplishment after Paint the Town.
Maybe I think that if I can keep in touch with those amazing people, I can keep in touch with that great attitude. Maybe we all need to go out of our way to encourage each other more. There's just not enough encouragement around. So this is me encouraging anyone that reads this. Eph. 3:20-21 Ps. 30:5 Phil. 4:4
Keep it real.

Here's the deal: I hate putting a lot of info about myself on the net, although I'm sure if I googled my name, I'd eventually find my life story anyway. But I figure this is a fantastic way to stay in touch with some of the greatest, most awesome people I have ever met, namely Team Light Blue (aka "The Hotties") from Paint the Town 2005.
So this is the beginning of a lot of new things for me. For one, I'm trying to find a full-time teaching job. I've had a couple interviews, I've placed a few more bids, and everyone is saying that I have a good chance of getting a job for one reason or another. But through it all, I really kind of want to go back in time to my last year of college and maybe try the whole student thing again. I was really good at that. Can I stay there? But sooner or later, life kicks you in the tail and you have to step out on faith, leaving your huge pile of fear and insecurity behind. Where will I be in five years? No clue. I have no long-term nor short-term plan (for the first time in my entire life), but I have a few options. Meanwhile, I'm praying and trying to focus on the whole job thing.
I'm also trying to live my entire life as if it is a missions trip...because, isn't it? I never really thought of it that way. I always thought that if I wanted to serve God--really serve God--that it would have to be a 24/7 thing, or I just wouldn't be satisfied. I'm an all-or-nothing, front-lines kind of person. I don't think everyone has to give up their regular job and go to Africa or New York or Arizona or Honduras. I just thought that I had to do that. But then I learned that it's all in the attitude. If I start each day the same way I did in New York and Arizona for two weeks this summer, then I will be serving God 24/7 on the front lines. Maybe that makes sense, maybe it doesn't. But I have a new attitude. Ask me how I feel in five weeks! lol