I am Jack's sense of total frustration....

Everyone is pairing up. I'm single. I'm happy being single. But those of us who are happy and single often find it a little hard to walk out the front door during fall (or as my friend Joel refers to it, "hook-up season," much like basketball or football season, involving bets, recruitment, an off-season, and of course, "break-up season").

One of my first graders called me Mrs. the other day. I corrected her, explaining that I am "Miss McComas" because I'm not married. The boy in line behind her, shocked, said "You're not married? How can you have a job if you're not married?!"

It was funny at the time. However, when I related the story to my mom (because that was a good idea), she said something (which I have probably forced out of my memory due to trauma) about "why don't you just hook up with someone and get married?" My mother fans the flame that is attached to the fuse that is attached to the very large bomb entitled "WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I NEED TO BE MARRIED?!?!" Thankfully, my Dad said, "She needs a man right now like a fish needs a bicycle." However unoriginal his statement, it was rather helpful in vidicating me.

I realize that in complaining about being single, I am probably just coming off as desperate for a date, but I'm really not. I'm just tired of the way our society treats singles--like outcasts. Lauren F. Winner addresses this in her book "RealSex" and she is dead on the money. She says that as great as romance and love are, you can't force people to be in relationships, and we as a society can't keep stigmatizing singles. So often--especially in churches, it seems--we treat singleness like a disease with symptoms (alone on a Friday night, going to a wedding stag, living in a single bedroom apartment) that need cured. THIS IS STUPID! I am having the time of my life. I get to spend my extra income on me. I get to save a bunch of money. I don't have to worry about someone else's problems, feelings, or plans with every decision I make. I can hang out with the girls one night and the guys another. This isn't bad.

On top of that, my current state of singularity is a choice. (Three break-ups in six months will cause you to make such decisions!) I discovered some time ago that I was putting too much stock in relationships. I associated a relationship with my self-worth. I was worshipping a boyfriend instead of God. I was doing everything I could to get attention from the opposite sex, and I ended up getting used, hurt, and bitter. I am so much better off now.

Don't get me wrong. I cry during chick flicks wondering why that guy isn't knocking on my door with flowers. I dream about a wedding day (a perpetual symptom of womanhood). I still flirt. I am up for a date. I believe God has someone out there for me. I love him already. I can't wait to meet him. I'm trying to prepare myself for him. But if now is not the time, I have so much else going for me. And for once in my life, I really believe that.

So to all those of you out there trying to set me up on dates, or raising your eyebrows every time I mention a male friend, or thinking "poor thing, I hope she finds a man someday": stop thinking that right this second. I'm free from all that. I'm single. I like it. I'm up for change, but I am content. I do not have a disease. I have a life. And an abundant one at that.

That's my venting moment.

I am Jack's overwhelming sense of vidication.