it's been a while...

I was recently told that when a guy says "It's not you, it's me," he is actually telling the truth.  Being a person who has received this let down about 4 times in the past year and a half, I should be an expert,but alas, I am not.

What do you think?

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how did it come to this...

1) Male or Female?
100% woman, hormones and all.
2) Do you pray?
constantly
3) Are you in love?
only with Jesus right now.
4) Ever wish on stars?
yes
5) Do you believe in karma?
yes, in that one reaps what one sows.
6) What's your zodiac sign?
pisces...like it matters.
7) Have you ever almost died?
I'm sure we all have and really don't know how often.
8) Ever broken any bones?
slight fracture on my nose at church camp...ahh church camp
9) Do you cry during sad movies?
Heaven help me, I cry over everything anymore.
10) Do you like to dance?
heck yeah!
11) Ever laid under the stars?
yes
12) Ever sat on a rooftop?
yes.  I have a rather nice one outside the bedroom window in the house I'm moving to that I fully intend to make use of.
13) Is there a such thing as a soul mate?
Yes, but not necessarily of the opposite sex or romantically.  I think mine is my best friend, Emily.
14) Could you live without the television?
I have for the past year.
15) Could you live without music?
It's kind of my livelihood
16) Do you have any self inflicted scars?  Define "self-inflicted..."
17) What do you dislike the most about life?
Nothing really
18) Have you ever been to jail?
Only as a minister
19) Ever had a job for less than a day?
yeah
20) Ever been fired on your first day?
never been fired
21) Ever been fired because of your attitude?
see above^
22) Do you get jealous of other people?
On rare occasions, and nothing that's enough to really notices
23) Would you rather love someone or be loved?
I've been in both situations, and either without reciprocation totally sucks.
24) What's under your bed right now?
Drawers.  Wrapping paper.  An electric keyboard.  probably some tissues.
25) Ever done anything illegal?
I speed a lot.
26) Have you ever been dumped?
yes, thrice in the past year
27) Ever dumped somebody?
yes, but it's been a while
28) How cool are you?
the coolest
29) Do you support abortion?
no
30)Do you believe in God?
More than believe
31) Did you graduate high school?
Yes, and it seems like a million years ago.
32) Do you wear the same clothes two days in a row?
too many times to mention and keep my pride
33) Have you ever driven someone crazy?
are we talking annoyed or certifiable?
35) Ever done the Macarena?
I did it before it came out, because I still contend that in the 8th grade, I helped make up a dance to "Love Shack" that was not unlike the Macarena, although the Macarena didn't come out till I was in 9th grade, so therefore, I helped create the Macarena.  God, forgive me.
36) Do you act your age?
Usually far older or far younger, but never in the same range...
37) Is it okay to disrespect your parents?
My parents are my dearest friends.  One needs one's parents and therefore should treat them with the utmost respect.
38) Do you flush the toilet when you're done?
naw, I just let it all pile up and overflow my bathroom till I'm evicted from every place I inhabit...what do you think?
39) How long do you stay in the shower?
depends on the day and the length of my hair.
40) What kind of soap do you use?
whatever.
41) Are mullets cool?
depends on who is sporting it.
42) Spiderman, Batman, or Superman?  SUPERMAN! Always and forever.
43) Do you like your middle name?
no
44) Has anyone ever cheated on you?
sort of
46) What's your favorite animal?
Penguins!
47) Favorite flower?
peonies
48) Have you ever shaved your head?
no
49) Do you think marijuana should be legal for medicinal use?
on the fence
50) Do you think it is okay to drink and drive? I am decidedly against it.
51) If you won $1 million dollars, what would you buy first?
buy nothin'...I'd pay off my college loans and my car.
52) Do you fear terrorism?
sometimes
54) What's your favorite candle scent?
vanilla all the way
55) Do you use profanity?
only euphamistically
56) Who's the last person you talked to on AIM?
uh.....
57) What's something you're ashamed of?
my failed relationships
58) What woke you up last night?
my bladder
59) What did you dream about last night?
I dunno
60) Ever been to the zoo?
many
61) How many beers did you have today?
It's three o'clock...are you kidding?
62) What's the last movie watched?  Walk the Line
63) Are you usually late or on time?
it's a mix
64) What's a cartoon you watch often?
I don't have cable
65) Do you have any imaginary friends?
I have people that I imagine are my friends and are probably not.  Does that count?
66) Are you waiting on something right now?
Always
67) Who's pretty?
Me!  Maybe not.  My students told me I was having a bad hair day
68) Who's ugly?
Only those who take into account outward appearances as a judgement of character
69) Are you worried about something?
Always

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What to do?

Scenario: You have strong feelings for someone who probably does not have those feelings in return and definitely is not up for a relationship for at least the next 5-6 years.

Do you:

A: Go ahead and date other people, knowing that it will probably be completely futile because the entire time you will be thinking of the other person that you cannot be with? or,

B: Sit at home every night for the next 5-6 years in the hope that said object of affection will finally come around and figure out what you already know?

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FREEEEEDOOOOOM!

I blog on this for 2 reasons:

1) it's toward the end of the school year, and as much as my students think they want to be free, it could never compare to how much I wish I didn't have to grade papers or write lesson plans...

2) I need freedom.  I thought I was free from some things, or rather, I am free from those things, but I still have a hard time claiming it.  I don't know how to.  The scars that were healing may have never healed.  They were just covered by really good bandages.  But then the bandages came off and the wounds were exposed, and I found myself buckling from the pain rather than facing it.  Instead of fighting my foe, I had him for coffee and donuts. (Could I use any more analogies?)

So here I go again.  Starting over. Again.  God, help me.

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blogging is hard to split onto 2 sites....and other thoughts.

Okay, this whole deciding which site to blog on is difficult, but today Phusebox wins!  I may just copy and paste this to MySpace...

I saw in the Religion section of the paper the other day that there is a church in Minnesota that refused to care for a transsexual.  For those of you who do not know, a transsexual is someone who begins life as one gender and then later in life is surgically altered to become another gender.  In this case, the person was born a man and became a woman.

A little more information: the church worked with the community to take care of invalids and others who may need care during the day.  People who needed assistance would register with a community organization that would then divide up the list between the participating churches.  This church received this person and refused to care for her.

When asked why, the minister at the church said that the church wishes to minister to everyone, but this person was living in direct contradiction to the teachings of the church.  First of all, who is NOT living in direct contradiction to the teachings of the church? Last time I checked, we're ALL sinners and ALL sins are in the same book.  They would have to turn everyone away if they were consistent with this policy.  Secondly, what exactly is this church teaching? Certainly not the Bible, because the book of James advises the church not to turn ANYONE away, to not be a "respecter of persons."  Thirdly, if you want to minister to everyone, like you say, DO IT.  The people who are living in such "blatant disregard" of the scriptures are the ones who need ministering most.

What have we done, church?  Where did we turn wrong?  We've lost our heart.  We've lost our burden.  We've lost our vision.  We are to LOVE.  Christ said to love our neighbors as ourselves.  Guess what?  Sometimes our neighbors struggle with different sins than what we do.  Love them anyway.

I hope that with this Easter, or as it is popularly called in evangelical churches, Resurrection Sunday, that we focus on Jesus.  Not on our new outfits or who is going where for dinner, but on Jesus.  Newsflash: He died for ALL of us.  We don't get to choose who can be saved.  Christ already did that.  He also decided who we have to love.

Love everyone.

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