I'm turning 24 on Tuesday.

Last year I had the best birthday ever.  I was surrounded by friends.  I had multiple celebrations.  I even had the day off from school.  Four friends took me to lunch.  Another offered desert.  I received gifts from friends--not something that happens a lot to me.

This year, I don't know what will happen.  I have many of the same friends, but a dozen or so have moved, and the rest are living in a completely different world than I.

I had a group with which I fit perfectly at one time...to be honest, for the first time in my life. University Christian Fellowship.  They've saved my life so many times in so many ways.  But now I go there--because I really don't know where else to go--and I don't fit anymore, or at least, not like I used to.  I have no way of serving.  The jobs I used to do are now filled by others due to the fact that I simply have no time to do them, what with teaching and driving and spending two days a week with my Nana.  I'm in limbo.

I need to find somewhere else to go, some other way to serve, somewhere to fit.  But it seems impossible.

"I wanna run, I want to hide.

I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside

I want to reach out and touch the flame

Where the streets have no name"

--U2