gonna be gone all weekend.

tell me you'll miss me.

. . . how was your day?"

"it felt about like someone ripping my heart out."

yeah, i'm pregnant.

so what?

i feel like breaking someone's leg.

play tomorrow night.

pray, lol.

you can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel because sometimes it isn't there.

it's inside you.

i need to find a white suit.

can anyone help me on that one?

i have come to admire old people because they don't care what you think of them.

they know you think they are stupid . . .

they know that you are the stupid one.

they have fought their fights,

lived their lives,

and what has that given them?

stories.

and maybe if you are lucky—very lucky—they will share with you.

you can sit on your great aunt's lap and hear stories of life as a child in florida, traveling in greece, or teaching at a college in scotland.

you can listen to your grandfather tell stories of landing on a beach in normandy, wading through the jungles and swamps of korea or vietnam, or being the editor of a paper in atlanta.

and if you get really lucky, you will get cornered by a distantly related elderly lady at a family reunion and hear stories for hours of growing up in the hills of south carolina.

old people are willing to give you a window into another time and place, a look into their souls . . .

and all you have to do is ask.

old people are wisdom.

they have been through the poverty of the depression, the horror of a world war, and the fear and paranoia of the cold war.

they survived . . .

and they know that you will, too.

(no matter how bad life gets or how alone you feel.)

in a world of fading memories and weakening health, they have realized that all that really matters is the present.

will being 10 minutes late to work matter in 10 years?

will missing your child's first day of school?

old people know what is important. they know how to survive.

to remember.

to live.

i have come to admire old people because they are willing to share the secrets of life.

will you ask?

"you don't want to go for a ride, do you? We could get out of the palace . . . see the world."

"is it safe?"

"sure, do you trust me?"

"what?"

"do you trust me?"

have you ever just felt like a horrible human being?

other than that, prom fashion show was fun. i'm sure someone will put pictures up soon, and then i will steal them.

i don't feel well. much. at all.

i think that's it for now.

ever just felt a need for a personal cleansing?

just wanted to take everything out and start over?

to feel clean?

i'm taking everything off my walls:

posters, pictures, nic-nacs.

the room is feeling more and more empty.

but i think i'll like it.

"happy endings are stories that aren't over yet"

would you agree?

sonia: where are your pajamas?

me: i'm wearing them.

sonia: you sleep in jeans?

me: no, under that.

sonia:oooookay . . .

"love covers over a multitude of sins"

but so does a mask if worn properly

and who's to know the difference?

what do you wonder about?

i had a dream that i was There.

when they lowered the Body i caught Him in my arms, but i collapsed under the weight and, sitting on the ground, i craddled the limp Form.

I tried to pull Him closer to me by the arms, but when i did His head fell back at an impossible angle,

so i put my hand behind His head and pulled it to rest on my shoulder, and embracing the Corpse

i began to cry.

and slowly, as i held Him,

the Blood poured out

until i was covered.

i think my computer sold his soul to the devil.

but he's getting better . . .

like cleopatra

joan of arc

or aphrodite . . .

[this would be why the brian has been in a good mood]

[just try to figure it out, kids . . . it's not who you might think]