hey everybody!

i havnt been on here in so long, mainly because my computer is from forever ago and it makes me angry, so i try to stay away from it as much as possible. things have been a little on the rough side lately. I found out that my boyfriend for sure has a daughter, and i'm having an extremely hard time dealing with it.she's 3 months old, so its still new. I'm sad because if we get married i'll never have his first child but i also hate myself for not caring for his daughter any more than i do... he's having a hard time adjusting to the situation too.... it's just hard. if ANYONE has any insight into the situation, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE share it with me. advise and encouragement is very very wanted and needed.

thank yall : )

i'm at work, which is the only place i have time to write on here. I miss jared... he comes back on friday- very very excited about that. Just out of curiosity if anyone reads this... are there ever times that no matter how much you pray or read the word or beg... you still don't feel like God is there? I mean, you know he is, but it's like he just wont make his presence known to you. I definitely feel that way now. I am so frustrated. I feel so distant but i dont know why. I want a fire in me for God like i've never known before. I realize i'm not going to "feel" God all the time because it's not all about that, but i want to feel for him. please pray for me.

I have the most useless job ever... but that's okay. At least i have one. This week has been incredibly uneventful so far, and i'm ready for the weekend. I'm sleeping tomorrow. That's as far as i've gotten on saturday plans. If you recognize me or something... i need friends! my friends list is kinda scarce so befriend me please! Thank ya!

hey! i just got back from this great trip to new york called paint the town... and a certain J Mo ( a very special character) told me to use this site bc his brother started it... so here i am. I'm at work and i dont do anything here so i have plenty of time to waste on the computer. i just want to say that paint the town was awesome. I saw God move in amazing ways. He showed me that its really not so scary to meet new people and make new friends. I miss all of you! My group was great, especially Becca! Oh and i dont know what i would have done without Jessica to get excited about tall buildings, lights, and nypd cars with me! well, i dunno who can read this or will read this but have a good day!