I find myself thinking about high school and what seems like just yesterday, but really is almost a year ago. I do it all the time. I miss waking up and meeting my little group of friends every morning (no offense Jenna, you know what I mean.) The jokes may have been stupid and the same ones over and over but they were still funny. I miss the sense of being together and being safe. Sounds dumb I know, but I mean you knew people and you could count on them. I miss having lunch with the best of friends making stupid jokes and random comments about what we were wearing. I miss it so much. I miss Drama. I love you guys always as one of the best families a girl could have. I miss knowing that there was a show to do and a script to read. I miss the long rehearsals (crazy huh, I used to really get tired of them) and running lines. I miss the way it felt to be on the Siegel Stage because it was like another world, a world where I knew I belonged. I'm starting to sound crazy I know but I do miss it all. I miss most of my classes and just about everyone in the Class of '05 and a few of you '06 people (you know who you are), oh and I won't leave off a couple of freshman who happened to make a senior happy last year (or just laugh her butt off). I miss the predictability and simplicity of high school life. I even miss the pointless little high school dramas that seemed so huge. I guess I miss the feeling of it all working out and knowing it would.

The funny thing is when I was a Junior, I couldn't wait to graduate. I wanted the heck out of high school and to be able to move on. All I did was wish that I could speed up time and just go. Senior year seemed to fly by. I couldn't wait to go to Prom and then to graduate. But as the biggest events of my life at that moment got closer and closer I found myself fighting it. I wanted to go to Prom and I wanted to graduate, but I wanted senior year to last forever. There was a lot that was happening at the end of the year that I thought if I kept holding on to senior year I could stop. Everything was ending the group was splitting up and one of us (who I really care about ) was moving very far away. I kept thinking the longer I held on and didn't think about it wouldn't happen. And it didn't work. Now I want so bad to go back it isn't funny. Which is odd. I guess I feel like if I can go back and take my spot in the old stuff I'll be alright again. I went to Prom and had the time of my life; I graduated and managed to not cry until two days later when it sank in that it was really over. And then it hit me. You can't go back again. The past is only allowed to come back if you look at pictures or talk about it. It belongs in the past no matter how good it is. I can't just decide I want to live life like that and do it. It's over and done and there's not a thing in the world that can bring it back.

I suppose its OK to wish for the past and keep looking back as long as you also keep moving forward. Nothing lasts forever, all things must end, and people just grow up. Thing change, people change, and life changes. Nothing is so permanent that you can't ever change it or move on.

Forever yours, Lucky