I appreciate the advice, but they don’t know everything. They don’t know what I’m feeling, how I’m handling this, what’s going on in my heart and mind. They think they know so much; they think they are so damn smart. Maybe if they’d open their eyes, open their minds, and pay attention, then they’d know something. They all think they know so much. It would surprise them to find out just how little they know.

People keep saying that I should find another guy, one who lives in TN, one I can see often. Oh sure, I’ll just fall out of love with Kenny and in love with someone else. I’ll just shut down my emotions, turn off my heart. Yeah, I’ll do that so all you people will be happy. Ha, yeah right. It’s not that simple, nor do I want it to be. I love him, and when you morons all get used to that, life will be so much better. I’m so sick of this stupidity. I made my choice and I’m sticking to it. I followed my heart, and, regardless of the complications and difficulties that come with it, I let it lead me to him. I’m happy, even when I’m miserable, and that should be enough to make you see. It’s not the fact that he’s not here that keeps me from going out and doing things. It’s the fact that there is nothing to do in this town.

What is driving me insane is the fact that these people think that I’m too young to be in love. They think that I don’t know what love is. I’m pretty sure I know what love is by now. It’s waiting for over two years for a guy who moved to another state and having all the faith in the world that he’s coming back and that he’s true. It’s the feeling of completion you get when you're in his arms and he holds you. It’s when you realize that nothing in the world can ever take the place of being with him. It's realizing that things are going to be hard, and going through it all anyway. It’s something you can’t explain because it doesn’t make sense. I’m in love and have known it for over two years, and you can’t tell me I’m not. My mom is one of those people who thinks I’m too young, but she’s one to talk. She was my age when she fell in love with my dad, married him, and had me. She was nineteen.

A lot of people around me are getting married. Three girls I graduated from high school with, last year mock trial president {married last fall}, my best friend all through grade school and part of high school {married already}, my cousin Ben. It’s crazy really, and has got me thinking. They all know that if I get married I’ll forget my dreams and give up on my plans to go to law school. They all know that it would destroy everything I’ve worked for. Surprise, surprise, they know nothing. Kenny knows how important my dreams are to me, and he supports me. Pretty sure he would never let me give up on them. They act as though all I am is intelligence and future plans; they don’t see past the fact that I’m in college. Honestly, they seem to think the whole family hinges on my finishing law school and becoming an attorney, that my whole life should be devoted to that. But it’s my life and I’m going to live it my way on my terms. I’m going to keep loving Kenny, and I’m going to keep being faithful and waiting.