I must be crazy. I mean really. Who does things like this to themselves? I honestly think that love is playing really sick jokes on me lately. Now don't take any of this the wrong way please because it doesn't mean I'm giving up on Kenny and our relationship. It just means that I'm going through a lot of crap and things are getting crazy. I rarely get to talk to him because the crazy boy works all the freakin time. Usually that makes each time I do get to talk to him that much better but sometimes it makes things awful. I mean I can't sleep at night sometimes and I just sit and read the notes that were passed between us before he left. And the night before last I could have sworn he was standing right outside in my driveway because, and this is going to sound bizarre, I could smell Kilo, not just Kilo but the smell of Kilo on him.. I told you it was bizarre. I guess it's just a product of the fact I miss him so much and it makes me crazy. Or maybe I'm just weird. Because I actually followed the smell from my back porch around my house to my driveway. But hey it happens I guess.

Sometimes I just want to scream, and it sucks to be this far apart. And he graduates thursday and I can't be there to cheer. I don't know when I'll get to see him again. I think the hardest thing is the fact that I'm a memory person and being apart kind of reduces the ability to create memories. I like memories because it's a way to hold on to things so they don't disappear.

More to come later.
Lucky