Do you ever get the feeling you are running straight toward something you want or need to do and then you run right into a brick wall? And you just want to scream or cry? But you know that it won't make it better. Sometimes I feel that way. Actually I feel that way a lot lately.

There's of course the guy you poor readers have been putting up with me going on about. I'm pathetic I know. There's just something that draws me to him, and part of me doesn't want to like him anymore, doesn't want to have to go through this. But then part of me, the majority, wants to like him, to feel the way I do about him. Thats the part that really does care about him and wants him home. And I'm confused and he's 1400 miles away and I don't get to see him or talk to him much.

There's also mock trial, which I really like. But I've spent so much time on it and I don't think I'm improving much. Plus I got switched from the team I was on. Sometimes I just feel like I'm doing terrible and that I'm hurting my team. I try so hard and I mess up something every time I get up there. It's driving me crazy. I just keep working though cause I've got to.

Then there is of course I'm finally getting a new phone in November. No more crappy phone that doesn't work half the time. Yayness. I've had this crappy one for two years and it is really messed up. It doesn't pick up, it doesn't ring, it freezes, and my screen goes blank. I've had so much trouble with the phone that I'd toss it right now, but I've got to have a phone and I've got a bunch of txt messages saved cause they are really cute or sweet.

Forever yours, Lucky