I spent a lot of time outside tonight surrounded by my family while celebrating the 4th. I couldn't stop thinking about how much time seemed to be flying. It seems this summer is on fast forward and I don't know how to stop it.

Too much stuff going on in my life to write about and more than likely not things I would share.

And here's a question......what do you tell someone who has a staring problem....a HUGE staring problem?

Do you ever find the situations or the place you are in life...odd or better yet ironic?

If you would have told me I would be at the place I am right now a year ago I would have laughed at you.

I've realized a lot in the past week. I know what I think would make me happy. The only question is if it would be worth it.

Paul McCartney - This Never Happened Before

I'm very sure, this never happened to me before

I met you and now I'm sure

This never happened before

Now I see, this is the way it's supposed to be
I met you and now I see
This is the way it should be

This is the way it should be, for lovers
They shouldn't go it alone
It's not so good when you’re on your own

My grandmother had another stroke today. She's in the hospital now.

Please pray for her...

My grandmother is believed to have had a mini stroke today. Please pray nothing worse develops.

All I can do is pray.

This is tearing me up inside. It's hard to be strong when you feel you aren't.....

The summer has been going very well so far. I work ALL the time and it's great. When I'm not working I'm either at the greenway or laying out and loving the sun. And having the best friends a girl could have definitely makes the summer 10 times better.

I've decided to sponsor a child through the Christian Children's Fund. He is 11 years old and his name is Ocen Kenneth. He lives in Africa and is an adorable child. I feel very blessed.

I'm excited to see how this summer will turn out. I'm excited to see how different my life is going to be...if I ever let it.

Hope you guys are doing well.

I went to the greenway today after I visited with my grandmother for awhile. I go there to think...to breathe...to get away where I can be alone.

I've felt so many different emotions at the greenway. Complete happiness. Sadness. Fulfillment. Closure. Anticipation. Feeling lost. Feeling found. It seems to be my safe haven away from my world.

Listen to this song. It describes how I feel.

http://www.palisadehills.com/upload/03%20Be%20Be%20Your%20Love.wma

I've met someone. How does a person know when they are ready to start dating again?

I have such a hunger for God. It's so indescribable. I ache for Him. I am nothing but everything because of Him. I would be incomplete without His presence in my heart and in my soul. I can't physically see Him yet I can see Him more clearly than I can see anyone else. I see His love surround me everywhere I go. He is God. He is my Father. He is my life. Living means living for Him...I have no other purpose but to serve Him.

postamble();Today was perfect. I laid out early in the morning until I had to get ready to go to work. I finally have somewhat of a tan now. And now I am going to the Encounter College service for the first time tonight.

I think the best way to describe life is amazingly perfect. It's incredible how wonderful life is when you finally give everything to God....not that there was anything for me to give because He already had it all.

Tomorrow is the "Passing of the Torch" service. I'm so excited to pass mine.

Hope you guys are well....

Okay so...customs is this week.....Thursday and Friday. And I've been on mtsu review...it's helpful.....but there are so many different teachers for the exact same class that it's hard to choose what teacher I would like to have.

I kind of feel AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a lot of mixed emotions about today. I'm finally ready to close the chapter of my high school experiences and open the one for the future.

I'm ready to put most things of high school in the past and I'm ready to move forward. I'm excited and nervous at the same time.

But most of all I'm ready for what God has planned for my future.

Congratulations to all those seniors out there that are graduating.

I praise Him for today and for everything

I don't know what to say. Some days are better than others. Some days I get so busy that I forget....and then some days.....all I can do is remember.

I'm tired of all of it. The only thing I hate is that I'm not as strong as I "pretend" to be.

And the truth of not being good enough is what hurts the most.....

Life can be ironic.....too ironic.

Let Everything That Has Breath
by Matt Redman

 Let everything that, everything that
Everything that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything that, everything
Everything that hast breath praise the Lord

 Praise You in the morning
Praise You in the evening
Praise You when I'm young and when I'm old
Praise You whem I'm laughing
Praise You when I'm grieving
Praise You every season of the soul

If we could see how much You're worth
Your power, You might, Your endless love
Then surely we would never cease to (parts) praise

Let everything that, everything that
Everything that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything that, everything
Everything that hast breath praise the Lord

 Praise You in the heavens
Join with the angels
Praising You forever and a day
Praise You on the earth now
Join with creation
Calling all the nations to Your praise

If they could see how much You're woth
Your power, Your might, Your endless love
Then surely they would never cease to (parts) praise

I will worship, I will worship
I will worship You with every breath
I will worship, I will worship
I will worship You with every breath

We will worship, We will worship
We will worship You with every breath
We will worship, We will worship
We will worship You with every breath

I am SO tired. I had a scary and exhausting night last night after church.

And then today is exactly three weeks until graduation. We got our cap and gowns. I'm very excited.

In the scheme of things I am very very very very very tired, overwhelmed, stressed, and busy.

Hope you guys are well.

Today I got home from work just as the sun was setting and I went out to my back deck and sat with knees curled up on the swing and just cried.

I cried because I'm more blessed than I ever deserve. God is so good to me and I'm so unworthy of His love or for Him even being in my life.

He shows me everyday in some many ways of how much He really loves me. He's....words can't even do Him justice.

I'm at work and have SO much work to get done by the time I leave. I feel so overwhelmed I want to SCREAM! You should see the amount of paper I have to file and the amount of item numbers I have to enter into the computer. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I had two tests today....yeah...

I have so much to do and so little time. It's almost the end of April and I haven't even started on my graduation invitations...

Someone please rescue me...I fear I may lose my sanity....but then again I may have already lost it....

My random list of beautiful things.....

1. Having God's love and forgiveness.....it's a beautiful thing.

2. OREOs and Milk.....it's a beautiful thing.

3. Finally doing what you should do without fear of other people's opinions.....it's a beautiful thing.

4. Sipping tea on the back deck while watching the sunset.....it's a beautiful thing.

5. Driving down a long country road with the windows down, hand out the window, and the music blaring....it's a beautiful thing.

6. Having kids run up to you, surround you, and hug you just because they are so excited to tell you what happened to them during the past week.....it's a beautiful thing.

7. Rocking a baby or little child asleep and having their head fall asleep on your shoulder or have their hand clasped around a finger.....it's a beautiful thing.

8. Learning those life lessons to help you grow as a person....it's a beautiful thing.

9. Loving with all you have......it's a beautiful thing.

10. Celebrating the small things in life just because you can....it's a beautiful thing.

Have you ever done something or I guess in my case didn't do because you were nervous?

Twice?

Ugh.

I think the best way I could describe my life would be to say I'm tired and I'm burnt out on a lot of things....practically everything. I need a break. I wish I could take a long road trip.....just pull out of my driveway and drive for days and days....with only myself and my CD player to keep me company.....and of course you can't forget the haunting memories........

This song describes me......

Not Ready to Make Nice~ Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as ...... and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as.......
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

NO. It's not going to happen.....

...........

It's just can't.....

So today has been interesting and fun. I won't go into much details.

I'm at work right now and bored to death. I have to close tonight...by myself.

I have a lot coming up.

And I keep getting so much stuff from MTSU in the mail and none of it makes that much sense so I'm going to the Business Office tomorrow to sort everything out. Fun.

My Marybeth

Today just completely made me smile from ear to ear. I couldn't stop grinning.

Life can be so unpredictable.....so amazing...so wonderful.

And God has His ways of sending people to make life so much more beautiful and exciting.

And you know.....it's such a wonderful and beautiful surprise.

"Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's such a surprise." ~Under the Tuscan Sun

Today has been more wonderful than I could ever describe. I loved being at church.  As I was sitting in Children's Church with a child in my lap and my arms wrapped around two of my favorite kids I was awed. And I would look at the kids sitting beside me and feel the love God has for them......because I love them too. I don't think I could ever say just how much children have impacted my life and taught me how to grow. Each one is so beautiful in their own little ways.

I am so honored, thankful, and humbled by what God did for me 2,000 years ago. And the best way to say it is....."HE IS RISEN!"

Now I have to study for a test tomorrow and I want to go for a long walk on my road reflecting on today, God, and life.

Tonight I'm going to watch the Passion of the Christ. Tomorrow is work after school.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Easter surrounded by all of your loved ones.