College isn't hard. I just have to discipline myself to study...which is somewhat hard because I've never had to study before.

Yesterday I learned exactly how bad I am at basketball. It's very sad because I used to be really good. *sniffles* Even though before yesterday I hadn't picked up a basketball in two years.  I've definitely decided that I'm going to the rec center more often to get better. How sad....

Life is somewhat coming together. A routine. It's nice.

I love you all...very very much.

Short update:

Life is crazy.

I've made a hard decision.

I don't know how I feel about it yet.

Well. I've been looking into taking a self defense class. I didn't think MTSU offered it but I just found out that they do. I can't take it until next semester because of my wacky schedule. I'm actually going to be taking that, Beginning Karate, and hopefully Advanced Karate when I can become good enough. It's something I know I will take seriously and really learn how to do.

*laughs*

So.....when I am done....I wouldn't want to mess with me if I were you. You know I am laughing right now don't you?

What are you so scared of? Why are you? What is it you are looking for?

I heard this song tonight on my way out. I love it.

Once In A Lifetime~Keith Urban

Lyrics:

I can see it in your eyes,
And feel it your touch.
I know that you're scared,
But you've never been this loved.

It's a long shot baby,
Yeah I know it's true.
But if anyone can make it,
I'm betting on me and you.

Just keep on moving into me.
I know you're gonna see,
The best is yet to come.

CHORUS:
Don't fear it now we're going all the way.
That sun is shining on a brand new day.
It's a long way down and it's a leap of faith,
But I'm never giving up,
‘Cause I know we got a once in a lifetime love.

Everybody's looking for what we found.
Some wait their whole life,
And it never comes around

So don't hold back now just let go,
On all you've ever known.
You can put you're hand in mine.

CHORUS

I close my eyes and I see you standing right there.
Saying “I do” and they're throwing the rice in our hair.
Well the first one's born and a brother comes along and he's got your smile.
I been looking back on the life we had still by your side.

I'm definitely in a good mood today. Maybe it's because I'm finally learning the word "no." And it feels so good. Less stress = happier me. I'm so happy I could dance. *smiles*

Come Away With Me

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away with me where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows
knee kigh
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountain top
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

So. I've been in college three days. Here are some brief stories....

First day. I left campus to go somewhere and had to park very very far away when I came back. Learned: Don't leave campus...ever for no reason.

Second day. I forgot where I parked because I was in a rush and just started walking towards my class. It took me 15 minutes of walking to find my car. Learned: Write down, look, or remember where I parked. And oh yeah....leave earlier from home.

Third day. My flip flop broke during my first class...beyond repair. I wobbled to the KUC and bought an expensive, ugly, and blister giving flip flops because I didn't want to leave campus and my perfect parking place. Learned: Always keep an extra pair of shoes in your car.

Yeah. College is definitely a learning experience....of basically how to survive it. I wonder what tomorrow will be like.

Tired but good.

I need to keep my sanity or at least what's left of it...

College starts tomorrow. I'm going to be okay. I keep telling myself that anyway.

Some of the youth went to A&W after church. I ran into Daniel and we talked about college and I feel a whole lot better about it. Tonight was definitely a great ending to summer break.

Just take one day at a time....one day.

I just found out that a guy that I have grown up with got killed in Iraq. His name is J. D. Hirlston. I have known him forever. We went to church together for years...

I feel so sad and so upset. This is so hard.

Please pray for his family.

Little Moments~Brad Paisley

Well I'll never forget the first time that I heard
That pretty mouth say that dirty word
And I can't even remember now what she backed my truck into
But she covered her mouth and her face got red
And she just looked so darn cute
That I couldn't even act like I was mad
Yeah I live for little moments like that

Well that's just like last year on my birthday
She lost all track of time and burnt the cake
And every smoke detector in the house was goin' off
And she was just about the cry until I took her in my arms
And I tried not to let her see me laugh
Yeah I live for little moments like that

I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank God that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm
And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb
But she looks so much like an angel that I don't wanna wake her up
Yeah I live for little moments
When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
Yeah I live for little moments like that

I can't go to sleep. I have something on my heart and on my mind.

God is always there. I know that saying that doesn't even cover the reality of it but it's the truth. He tells us to draw near to Him and he will draw near to us. Our struggles, what happens to us daily is and should be for the glory of God. He is and reigns above all things.

I want to be used to further His kingdom.

That is my prayer. And I want to be put through tests to make me stronger for Him. And as Pastor Dan would say....to be more moldable for Him.

He's everything to me. Everything that should matter.

I think today has been one of the most stressful days at work I've ever had.

I have my sweet tea and my christian music playing to get me through today.

I'm finally free.

Verse 1:
Lord you have my heart
And I will search for yours
Jesus take my life
and lead me on

Verse 2:
Lord you have my heart
And I will search for yours
Let me be to You
a sacrifice

Chorus:
And I will praise You Lord
And I will sing of love come down
And as You show Your face
We'll see Your glory here

VERSE 1

VERSE 2

And I will praise You Lord (i will praise you lord)
And I will sing of love come down (i will sing of love come down)
And as You show Your face (show your face)
We'll see Your glory here
We'll see Your glory here
We'll see Your glory here

Rob and I are going to watch a scary movie. Scary movies terrify me.....absolutely to the point where I shiver and get cold. I think we might watch the sequel to The Ring.

I'm scared already just thinking about it. The Ring was a really scary movie.

Does anyone know of any good scary movies?

Tonight was the best. Praise and Worship lasted the ENTIRE time. It was definitely a great ending to Jonathan's ministry at FWC this summer.

I am amazed by Your glory God. You alone are my strength. You alone are my love. You have my heart. I love you.

I'm happy. Things are changing...good things are changing and happening. I'm seeing within myself the person that God is calling me to be.

And for right now....FWC is my home...I know that much for sure.

Busy week this week. Lots of working and things at church.

I got my work schedule for while I'm going to be in college. I work everyday...as soon as my last class ends I have to hurry to work. I'm worried about getting everything done and having my grades not slip. I'm worried about not freaking out like I usually do when I am stressed and under a lot of pressure. *worried look*

I miss you...very very much.

So....fine arts was really really fun. Friendships have been created and bonds have grown stronger. We not only grew stronger together one on one but as a whole youth group as well.

Personally some of my own walls have been knocked down and happiness has replaced it. I know God reigns supreme in my life....nothing else could ever replace Him.

I have a lot of good memories and A LOT of inside jokes. I think my favorite would have to be the one with Megan McCann. hehe.

I'm going to go back every year as youth staff. YAY. I'm already going to put the money aside for next year and not touch it.

I have more to write but I won't. There are some things that need only to be kept at the center of your heart.

For now...I have two weeks until college starts....something I have been dreading and anticipating all summer long. It's just another step that I have to take and one that will determine a lot about my future.

I'm trusting God with it...my heart and decisions belong to Him. Please guide me God. I'm feeling quite small...

 "I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you"

Eek. I don't think I'm ready...which is very scary to say with it being so close.......

Prayer time tonight was incredible. The stars are out and it feels great outside. I went out on my deck and sat on my swing with my knees curled up.

God laid a woman on my heart. A woman I didn't even know. I cried and I prayed and I prayed and I cried...not only for the woman but for her family as well.

I don't know why He laid her on my heart but it was incredible.

I pray peace and comfort for those she loved.

I'm finally 18.....

I'll write my thoughts later...

I went to CUSTOMS again at MTSU...this time for Alicia. Ehh...it wasn't that bad. I'm just glad I helped her get her schedule done. I actually feel comfortable that I know where I am going around campus. I actually even remembered where I parked. I didn't get lost once.

VBS hasn't been near as much fun as it was last year. I am very disappointed. I have the 5th and 6th grade kids this year. The girls have been wonderful....the boys on the other hand have been HORRIBLE. I don't think I've ever been around more disrespectful kids than I have this week. I made a vow that my kids would NEVER act like that and if they did boy would they hate me to be their mother. UGH.

Far Away by Nickelback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


I love you
And I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

Okay so maybe I won't go into ALL of the details because it would take way too long but I will give you the general idea.

I taught the kindergarden and 1st grade sunday school class today. I went into it feeling nervous and kind of feeling out of my norm for a bit. I had SO much fun. I think little children are so much fun to teach because they get excited if you get excited. We had a lot of fun with crafts, games, and the lesson. They are SO smart...it made me proud that they could answer ALL of the review questions before they left.

We had a visitor and his name was Christopher Jon Stewart. He was the CUTEST boy I think I've ever seen besides Joshua Ayers. Boys can be so sweet and cute when they are little. Awww.

And tonight is VBS! I am so excited! I feel just like a kid again........ :-) :-)

Yes....even as I'm reading the title of my blog I'm thinking...."You're tired. Get over it. That's life." Mhmm.

Been busy but happy as well.

Been having weird weird dreams with the same people in them......weird.....

And have I mentioned that shopping for babies is SO much fun and SO expensive? I can't leave the store without having to spend.....a lot. I will find so many adorable things that it takes me FOREVER to decide. My sister just has to have another baby girl for me to spoil......:-)

I was driving home tonight from church and only one question seemed to conquer my mind.

What am I doing?

"Without You Here"

Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky
A moment in your arms became the reason why
And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness
The only one I need until my dying breath
And I would give you everything just to
Feel your open arms
And I'm not sure I believe anything I feel

I need you.