Well, today is the day after I learned that Amber had died. So I got to thinking about a poem i heard the day that my grandmother died, and how true it is. thus, at risk of copyright infringement, i am going to post 2 poems up here, neither of which i wrote, but they can truely express the feelings i have.

The Dash by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He refers to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning ... to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth ...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars ... the house ... the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard ...
Are there thinkgs you'd liek to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash midrange")

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appriciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile ...
Remember that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy's being read
With you life's actions to rehash ...
Would you be proud of the things they
Say about how you spend your dash?

______________________________________

The second poem i don't know the author, but it was provided at my grandmother's funeral.

To Those I Love and Those Who Love Me

When I am gone let me go and release me
I have so many things to do and see
You must not tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that we shared such beautiful years.

I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown.
But now its time I traveled alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It is only for a while that we must part.
So cherish the memories in your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come;
Though you cannot see or touch me, I'll be near.
All my love around you, soft and clear.

And then when you shall come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and say, "Welcome Home!"

- We love you and miss you Amber (July 30, 2005)

So, you are sitting at home watching tv and the phone rings...it's 830 in the morning on a saturday and you don't even know if you want to answer it. so you check the caller id and it's the person who hasn't called you in a about a month, so each that person needs something, or they have something to say...

thus is the story of today. My phone rang and it was U2's "Where the streets have no name." (the default ring on my phone). thus it can be just about anyone. Well that song was definately appropriate for the call i received. the first verse is

"I want to feel the sunlight on my face
I see the dust clouds disappear without a trace.
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name."

Well, anyone's first guess about this song is that it is referring to heaven. Well, my phone call was to tell me that one of my friends, and someone who used to work at wal-mart, died early this morning in Manchester. Now when the person who is calling you is crying, it is all that you can do to not cry too because you know they are calling you to hold them up and to be supportive. thus i had to run out of the house this morning and go straight to her because in a time like this everyone needs a friend regardless of whatever that have done to you in the past.

I managed to hold back the tears until i went to work and had the privacy of my milk cooler. a place where i can think and reflect on life in general. the only thing that i could think of were the lyrics to an old Poison song..."Something to Believe In (acoustic version)":

"But when I want to bitch about growing old, I think how many never had a chance."

Stopped in the prime of life, and here i sit taking the every next day for granted, when all i have to do is take that step backwards and fall 250 feet into a rock quarry. Unfortunately I will never have the chance to see Amber again, but i know that she is in a better place. yet it still sucks that someone has to lose there life so young (she was only 21). So take today and embrace it, don't put off something to tomorrow has you may never have a chance for whatever it is.

The simple sound of a ringing phone, and everything changes. The phone rings and even if you know who is on the other side, you don't know what they will say.

So, it seems like i haven't updated in a few days or weeks. not much has been going on, just school and work.

Have you ever noticed that reconnecting with someone you have not talked to in about 3 years brings back a lot of memories. One of my friends who i thought just hated me due to some incidents in middle school and high school contacted me in the past week. we caught up on what has been going on, but it led me to start thinking about some of the people that we used to hang out with. it really sucks when you tell people "we'll always be friends and no matter what we will never loss contact" when you know that the opposite is true. talking to her brought back some people that were my best friends growing up. one now lives in kansas and i have seen or talked to him in about 2years and the other guy we were always getting in trouble with (as all kids do), i haven't talked to his since my freshman year of high school...6 years. even now it still happens, the person that i would tell just about anything to in high school has since moved to arizona and we are lucky to send each other an email once a month. it takes work to keep in touch with people, but when life is coming at you fast and so much is going on around you, the people you want around you the most are the ones you inevitablely push away.

So, not too much has been going on, i'm finally back in the boro and still sleep deprived from camp....I put in about 72 hours of work down there, but at least it pays. not too many exciting things happened except maybe having lunch with Mac Powell of Third Day. The lighting went well after i fixed all my problems and got up and running again. Now i just need a few days to recover but of course i spend all my time at wal-mart and hopefully get to make a quick trip down to Gatlinburg for some more work. well that is about all i got for now

So what is the worst that can happen...i got up a 6 am to work on programming lights for the show...had it all done and then 30 minutes before the service at 7pm, lightning strikes and i lose it all...now is the moment of truth as i drove all the way to atlanta to get another computer with a different interface (if you really want more info just ask). but this is probably my last post for a while as we are to lose our internet connection first thing in the morning. so hopefully i will have some good news and funny stories to tell

Well, day 2....i don't know how much longer we will have this internet connection because it is being killed at 8 am monday morning, so there may be a really long post next week with the stories from camp.... anyways, we were putting up the back/side curtain and needed some clothespins. note that the nearest wal-mart is about 30 miles away as we are in the middle of no where. so we (me and scott the video guy) start driving around in a golf cart to search the camp for clothespins from the clothesline. so instead of walking down the hills to the lines we just drove the golf cart all over the place, and i did not know that golf carts could go up hills like we have here, unfortunately i don't have digital camera so pictures are a long way in coming.

Ok, so instead of making a second post, i will just add to this. now you know that stickers on ladders that say "do not stand or sit above this point." yeah, like speed limits i ignored this. now being 5'6" i had to use a 6' ladder to reach about 12 feet in the air...now if you do the math, even my height does not equal this. so standing on the very top part (big OSHA no no) i had to hang a light and run a cable to it. now mama would definately kill me if she knew this. but now i must leave as i don't want to get pulled into the cricket spitting contest

So, We have internet connection here at the camp i am working at. so i can keep people updated. today was an interesting day to say the least. We met at 10:30 am to load the trailers with sound and lighting gear...and we're suppose to leave no later than 12 noon. so at 1:20 we are all heading out from the zaxby's parking lot. andy, chris and adam were going straight to covington while i was to go pick up some stuff in swanee (both in georgia). now the interesting thing is that covington is on the southeast side of atlanta while swanee is on the northeast. so i am now about 100 miles from where i am suppose to be. well andy calls me to let me know that I-20 is shut down at the perimeter (or where I-285 meets I-20) which is where i was to catch I-20 to go to covington. well he gives me directions to take GA-20 to GA-81 to GA-142 (i know a lot of road names and believe me i had a fun time trying to remember) now, this drive was through the country. i was half expecting to hear "dualing banjo" similar to the movie "deliverance" but i didn't...yet the funniest thing about my drive was the sign that read "left turn on red after stop." now i am used to turning right on red (regardless of signage) but this was just strange to me...well i finally got to the venue at 4 pm after they had both trailers unloaded. well needless to say we worked until almost 10 pm and i just don't feel like programming lights right now, so i think i am going to try and find out where i am sleeping tonight and solve my problems later tomorrow as 1 light has decided not to work and i am not going to explain because even i don't know and understand everything i did...well night all and hopefully i will have more tomorrow....p.s. fried corn on the cob is interesting but good.

So, I'm heading down to atlanta tomorrow night to go work at a church camp...the only one of the summer for me. I'm not even sure what church i am working for this year. So for a week i shall be gone, but hopefully i will be able to find an internet connection as i will have my laptop with me and hopefully can keep my 5 avid readers updated. in other news, not much is going on, so there is nothing to report. well, night all...if you need me just call me on the cell...if i have service

Ok, I will definately admit to being lazy, but today i reached a brand new level. Let's see, here's where the lazyiness starts...i have remotes for just about everything, in fact i sleep with my tv remote so i don't have to ever get up and get it (no i don't have a table next to the bed, its a really small apartment), i also have a wireless keyboard and mouse so that i can type from bed while watching tv, although it is very hard to see the screen...but today i have finally reached a new level. as i was leaving work i decided to pick up some wash cloths because i no longer have any clean ones...yes i know it would be easier to wash them, but i don't want to laundry before wednesday and this seemed a lot easier than walking 2 doors down to the complex "laundry mat" well, i'm off to bed (because i'm actually at my desk right now)

So, I'm hanging out with Laura-Anne tonight and we were watching Home Improvement and the term came up of Baker's Dozen (hence the title) so we started in on designs for a carton of eggs that would hold 13 eggs, now the paper with the drawings has been disposed of, but some suggestions were a circular pattern, but that would be terrible for storage and shipping. Then the idea of a triangle was brought up, but the best configuration has only 10, similar to the bowling pin lay-out. I suggested using a spacer and having room for just one egg...2 columns of 4 then the spacer with one egg and then another column of 4, but i was informed that the use of a spacer was cheating. but her idea of cutting out spots, like a column of 3, then 2, then 3, then 2 and another 3 wasn't cheating and if you alternate the pattern the cartons could be interlocked. So if you have an ideas of how to design a carton with 13 eggs, please let me know

Yesterday was a fun day, i went to the movies and saw "Batman Begins" which was a pretty decent movie, of course it makes we want to watch the first movie again but hey, i can always go and rent that. Then after that I took another friend out to dinner for her birthday and we had an interesting night to say the least. Yet during this entire time, my brother and his roommate were calling me and let me know some different things that have been going on and what i need to do about my pending pay cut that is supposedly to come down on July 2, which is funny because i have yet to sign anything that states that I agree to, let alone are aware of such a pay cut...this just reaffirms my beliefs that Wal-Mart is the devil. Well, it's my turn to take the dog to the vet for her shots, can't wait to see how this turns out.

photo from darnett5878
Today would definatley be a random day, as entitled by the title...now i'm not completely crazy, but i saw a picture similar to the one i just posted, except we can't afford color pictures on our boxes at wal-mart. but it just struck me as odd that we should say no to penguins. what ever did they do to us, unless of course you believe that whales are going to take over the world after being trained by the penguins, but that is something else to discuss. well i'm off....

Ok, so to start off, I must say that being from Atlanta, my favorite newspaper will always be the AJC, which i remember reading the comics from every Sunday at Granny's house until i was in the 2nd grade...but as i got older the comics are still the best part, but during the week they have a small section entitled "The Vent" where people write in to complain about everything. well my vent today has 2 points...

1) So I'm at my wonderful job and have to unload a truck which is part of my daily routine, and that is not the complaint, the complaint comes in that I had to unload all 11 pallets, weighting between 1000 and 2800 lbs each, all by myself. Now management knew i was the only one there between dairy, frozen and meat, and one even saw that i was the only one there doing the unloading, so he kindly goes to the other side of receiving and and helps the 4 people on ICS unload their truck...thank you management, i know that i can always count on you to help me when i help you out

2) so i'm sitting outside with someone whom i would probably consider my best friend just enjoying a conversation. now it has been somewhat public knowledge that i have liked her for quite some time but i know that there is no possibility of anything as told by a reliable source, but it seems hard to handle that i can go out and do stuff with her any time and talk about anything and know that there is nothing more between us. I guess sometimes in life you just have to take what you can get and be happy with the relationship you have with someone and don't risk it to take it somewhere that it doesn't need to be.

Thus ends the rants for the day happy reading and good times...

in closing here is a little fact that i read today from my inspirational desk calendar about stupid people and things:
"When cars first came to Tennessee, the city of Memphis passed a statute that a woman could drive only if a man walked in front of the car and waved a red flag to warn pedestrians of approaching danger"

Now i know you are not suppose to talk bad about the place you work, but then again, there are always exceptions to the rule..and wal-mart is that exception. Have you ever gone to wal-mart and had to stand in line forever? (now when you work there, there are certain privileges and people who will help you out but still). now the store i work at (that i won't disclose, but there are only 2 in m'boro) we seem to have to a severe shortage of cashiers, which i used to be one, but they decided that i would better serve the company in the dairy department, which doesnt bother me because i can slack off as long as i get what i have to have done in 8 hours. yet, they keep pulling the people off the floor to run registers, now that just don't make sense because if there is no one there to stock the shelves, what are the people in line buying? but they say that we have too many people working there, yet you stand in line for 30 minutes just to check out....yeah, they're hurting on money. and now the current rumor is that the store manager wants me to transfer out to the parking lot to push carts...lets weight the options...its averaging 90 degrees outside, but if i stay in dairy then i work in a constant 41 degrees. besides i have already done the parking lot once, and i'm not doing it again because no matter how many people are out there, i seemed to do all the work. so unless they offer me something really good i don't think i will take it. well, that is my vent for the day, got to take the dog out, get some lunch and then go to my job that i just love so much (please read that last one with as much sarcasm as humanly possible) i'm gone until probably tomorrow

So, as you can see i finally decided to put a picture of myself on here, and yes, i am on a cell phone wearing jeans on the beach in Florida. of course i had to cut my brother out of the picture, and sometime i may actually put up a few pictures from the vacation, which there aren't that many.

So, I went back to Altanta for a couple of days to run lights at my church's VBS. Now, some people think that that sounds a little over the top...you know, lighting at VBS, but I said no the church is not over the top with production...well, i recant that, only because I have been going to a severely traditional church for the past couple of weeks. First of all the "service" or large gathering of 1st - 5th graders began with a long rousing version of "Rock 'n Roll Part 2" making me feel like i was at a baseball game (for anyone who is unaware of the song, it is played at all sporting events will only one word as its lyrics...that word..."HEY!") then Wednesday night, there was a clogging group doing a number...and for as long as I have been alive, i don't recall any time in which the song "God Bless Texas" has been performed...must be in the new hymnal. Now i promise I'm not complaining because i love my church and it is great to go outside of the box, it reaches more people that way, but i just think it is funny that all this happens after i claim the church never overdoes it. Well, that is all for now.