Untitled

June 14 2005
Up and down, back and forth, my emotions are pulled in every direction.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

I know not what I'm doing...or maybe I do. This is either the best or the worst I have felt; a new beginning, but an end that I refuse to face. Nothing is right, nothing is fair, least of all my own conflicting thoughts.

I've made countless friends, but most of them I can forget and leave as memories; at least, I'd like to think so. I did the same before, why not again?

It's you and me
And all of the people
And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you


Because this time is different; I've never felt closer to these people, and now is the time I have to stop, step back, and reassess the situation. These people have rebuilt my broken self esteem, reaffirmed my faith, and, in some severe cases, made me believe that there's someone out there that's close to me that I think is "the one". But that's just tunnel vision, I believe, and I've already had one case of that in four years.

My head is giving me life and death
But I can't choose


So what do I tell these people? "Hey, it's been fun, but I've got to leave and you can't do anything, sorry."? That's horrible, that's something I'd wish on nobody and their friends, but the seemingly unescapeable situation. It's worse, because so many of them are going off and having vacations, and they're missing even that.

What's a hopeless romantic to do?

Sam-Graham Jinn (Graham Wells)

June 14 2005
Bugger. That's tought stuff. You know my thoughts :-(

Beautiful_Wreck

June 17 2005
:-(