i'm not sure how to feel about this...

[link]

on one hand, it seems fascinating and i want one. on the other, i'm kind of appalled and worried.

strange...

now it's the big one.

i am hopelessly in love with Rufus Wainwright.

can anyone help me?

so.

stuff's lookin up, i guess.

i'm in a better mood than i have been in the past few days, and stuff isn't quite as confusing.

so it's lookin up.

{edit}
scratch that.

what is people's damn problem with me? why are so many people suddenly resentful towards me? do they expect me to know everything that's going on with stuff, when they don't even make an effort to let me know?!

whatever.

if people have a problem with me being me, that's their deal. i've done nothing to no one.

well.

i'm torn.

i'm not sure if i should
a) do what someone did to me, to even things out
or
b) give them another chance and see if they're being truthful

or i guess there's
c) don't really do ither, and see what happens. like not really say or do anything and see if they come around

but i've gotta decide by 6 tonight.

ah well.

well.

i'm torn.

i'm not sure if i should
a) do what someone did to me, to even things out
or
b) give them another chance and see if they're being truthful

or i guess there's
c) don't really do ither, and see what happens. like not really say or do anything and see if they come around

but i've gotta decide by 6 tonight.

ah well.

{edit}
by doing (a) i'd be doing what everyone tells me i should do... and i don't know if that's what i want to do. take their advice? or do what i hope is what i want to do?

i wish people wouldn't humour others.

i wish they could just say "no, i don't want to hang out" or "hey, thanks for your number, but i'm not gonna call you"

sure, blunt honesty might hurt, but not half as bad as being stood up or waiting by the phone does.

just be honest.

even if it's not what i want to hear.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how attractive am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married (if yes to who)?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] If so tell me now?
[32] Do you think I would kill someone?
[33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

i waited till 8:30

that's like an hour-point-five

never showed up

boo

Bridget's engaged!!

Bridget's engaged!!

i love Angelina Jolie. she is an amazing woman.

"one word" - kelly osbourne

One word breaks the code of silence
Silence tells me all I need to know
One Word
One Word, tells me everything I need to know

One world driven in to madness
Madness driven by the depths below
One Word
One Word, tells me everything I need to know

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day
It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

One lie tells a thousand stories
The greatest stories that were ever told
One Lie
One Lie, tells the greatest stories ever told

One man can predict the future
a future journey in to outer space
One Man
One Man, a future journey in to outer space

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

i saw fireflies last night.

and chased them with my nephews.

i'm outta school for summer!

i was driving home with the windows down and the electronica up, and it smelled like summer.

i loved it.

last night was Nick and Kelley's wedding!! ^_^ it was beautiful. i'm so so happy for them.
saw a lot of people i haven't just sat and talked to for a while. Mona, Emily, Shannon, Meagen (who looked garjuss), Mellie, Genny, Ross... i met Cole, Kelly, and Mollie too. you know me, always makin new friends.

and Mrs. Kelley Paison was stunning. it was good to see those kids. i couldn't stop smiling during the wedding. ^_^

and ... Stevie has a crush on a punk rocker. ::giggle:: i don't wanna say too much though.

<3

"If you wanna marry Joe Millionaire, go ahead. If you're a celebrity and you wanna marry your high school sweetheart for 55 hours, go right ahead. If you're J. Lo, and you wanna marry 18 people, for 6 days each, hey! Go right on ahead! But if you happen to be reasonably minded and have fallen in love and wanna marry your soul mate and make a life of it, and you just so happen to be the same sex, then NO! How dare you! You demon creatures! We’d rather you just buy gasoline and support our war and continue to consume and fear in our country so we can make money off you. But do us a favor — don't hold hands in public. Love, Pink”

there'll be more later...

La
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La
La la la la la la
La la la la la la

The night I laid my eyes on you
I felt everything around me move
Got nervous when you looked my way
But you knew all the words to say

And your love slowly moved right in
All this time, oh my love, where you been

Mi amore
Don't you know
My love I want you so
Sugar
You make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet

I'm mesmerised in every way
You keep me in a state of daze
Your kisses make my skin feel weak
Always melting in your heat

Then I sore like a bird in the wind
Oh I glide like I'm flying through heaven

Mi amore
Don't you know
My love I want you so
Sugar
You make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet

Mi amore
Don't you know
My love I want you so
Sugar
You make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet

La
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La
La la la la la la
La la la la la la

Mi amore
Don't you know
My love I want you so
Sugar
You make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet

Mi amore
Don't you know
My love I want you so
Sugar
You make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet

La
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La
La la la la la la
La la la la la la

(La la la la la la)
(La la la la la la)

so today, Carly and i rented my tux for prom, and finished our accessory shopping.

then we went to Opry Mills with Kasey, Abby, and Brock. that was fun. i was kinda annoyed for a while at first... but then i went in an OXYGEN BAR at the mall and it was awesome. it really does calm you down and stuff. i loved it. then i was happy.

we had fun.

good night.

"White Houses" - Vanessa Carlton

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
Summer's all in bloom
Summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses

life is good. =D

life is good.  =D

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets amess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah off course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.

-Imogen Heap "Hide and Seek"

i never walked on water,
never saw a reason to be goin out that far.
i never found a star then made a wish,
but now the sky is list'nin to my heart.

they can break me, make me, if they want they can chase me.
love me, hate me, i don't care any more.

till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, my dreams are awakening
somebody is makin me the only one in the room.
what no body could do, no body till you.

and the more you talk, the less i fear.
no matter what you say, we're still on the same hemisphere.
and there's comfort in just knowing that wherever i go
a part of me is stayin here. with you.

so take me, shake me, if you want you can chase me.
love me for me, and stay away from the door.

till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, my dreams are awakening
somebody is makin me the only one in the room.
what no body could do, no body till you.

what kinda world would it be if you ever went away?
oh. and i, i can't go back to what i had,
cause it will never be the same.

till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, my dreams are awakening
somebody is makin me the only one in the room.
what no body could do, no body
till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, i'm awakening, you're shakin me
no body knew what to do, no body till-
no body till you, there were lonely nights.
till you, there were sad goodbye's.
come true, i'm awakening, you're shakin me.
no body knew what to do, no body till-

no body till you.

-Lindsay Lohan "nobody till you"