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March 16, 2008

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Writing, photography, scrapbooking, acting, singing, God, hanging out with Garrett and all my other wonderful friends, Italian food, Mexican food, brownies and most anything else chocolate, video production, music, my iPod, dancing, laughing, reading


Switchfoot, Jars of Clay, Lifehouse, Bethany Dillon, Kutless, Relient K, The Fray, Starfield, Leeland, Building 429, U2, Avril Lavigne (first two albums), The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, no country and no rap


Pride and Prejudice, Phantom of the Opera, While You Were Sleeping, Little Women, Daddy Day Care, A Beautiful Mind, October Sky, The Majestic, The Mighty Duck movies, I Am Sam, Night at the Museum, and many more...


The Bible, Wild At Heart, Waking the Dead, A Walk To Remember, Finding Alice, Little Women, Captivating, Crime and Punishment, The Veritas Conflict, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Importance of Being Earnest

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Emerging Adulthood Crisis?

Twenty-going-on-twenty-one is an interesting time of life. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm halfway through college, less than two years away from "the real world". Maybe it has something to do with the fact that so many of my friends are engaged or married. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have close friends in their mid-twenties. Maybe it's knowing that those "B.S." classes are long gone and it's time to get serious. Maybe it's realizing that in my twenty years I've experienced a lot but there's a lot more I want to experience in the next twenty years before I look back and say, "What have I done with life now that it's halfway over?". Maybe it has something to do with the deaths of two loved ones this summer. Maybe I am just rapidly growing up while still being entrapped in a school setting and a still somewhat adolescent mind. I think it may be all of the above.


This semester is extremely uncomfortable. With the exception of the tight-knit family of Single Cam (as much as Michael Johnson scares me, at least I have the suport of the other 20 students in the class), I don't feel free to speak up in any of my classes. Last semester I felt extremely comfortable in my classes (maybe with the exception of one class). I feel more insecure and less confident, though I still believe very much in myself and probably have a much stronger support system of friends now than I ever have before. 


I don't really feel too much like me these days. I don't think I have a problem though. I'm not depressed. I'm just different. Not my personality, not my interests, not my ambitions, and not much else... really, just the degree of my circumstances. I think I am in an age of uncertainty. I'm certain I'm in the right major, the right minor(s), the right school, have the right friends, etc. I'm certain of my faith. I'm certain of my beliefs (be they theological, political, or whatever). I am not even sure if I am uncertain of anything in particular... I think I'm just suffering from an emerging adulthood crisis. I feel like I'm supposed to be out of my own, have money, be working, and married. Is that crazy?! I'm not ready for any of that (well, the latter two, not quite yet) but the time is coming (very soon)! 


I see myelf becoming more willing to take responsibility. Friday morning I sent a letter to the editor of the campus newspaper about a completely whacked out editorial based on complete fiction about where I work, and it was published in today's edition. I felt a little apprehensive about it at first, but the praise I have received for what I did is affirmation that it was right. Sometimes you have to take chances. It may not be the popular choice, but as the Fray so eloquently puts it, "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". 


So all this rambling just to say I feel different, and almost uncertain, but for no obvious reason. But I really think it's because a lot of things are changing in my life in regards to family (deaths), friends (new ones), work (new system), and school (a different level in my classes). And just like every other new stage of life, I will just have to learn to adjust and adapt. I guess I just never thought this would be one of those times. It just goes to show we never know what's right arond the corner.  

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Wow... That Was Weird...

Michael Johnson is apparently a mastermind. We had to write up new proposals for these new video ideas that came from some other group, and today we turned them in. He then asked all the prodcuers to pass their copy of the new proposal BACK TO THE ORIGINAL GROUP! What a relief! So my group got their old idea back, really without too much change. Anyhow, the point of all that was that we would each have a new perspective on our project and work with that in mind. So that was the good news...


The bad news was this terrible Sidelines article written about the "evil" business office! I will be writing a letter tonight and sending it in to set a few things straight! 

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Apparently I Can Neither Have My Cake Nor Eat It!

So... last Thursday in Single Cam each group was instructed to come up with an idea for our first video project, which is supposed to be a "how to" video.


My group came up with a pretty decent idea ("How to be a Gentleman on the First Date"). We had some good ideas for how we were going to present it.


But then Michael Johnson told the producer of each group to hold up their paper with the group's idea.


Then pass it to the right.


And then do it again.


Now the paper we were holding was the topic we were going to have to do.


Don't even ask what my group got... I'll tell you about it eventually...

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Hmmm... Well...

I think I just signed my life and soul over to my Single Camera Directing and Producing professor, Michael Johnson...
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Another semester started out on the wrong foot. There's nothing wrong with my classes, mind you, it's work... it's crazy! That and feeling overwhelmed by all I have to do and wondering if something's gonna have to give... but I guess I'll give it a week or so and see...
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