Subject: Detective Columbo with Obama
 


Columbo still scratching his head?
 

Ah?Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir
 
 
> Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean Senator Obama, sir. Um . . Know you are busy
> and important and stuff. I mean running for president is very important
> and . . . Ah . . . I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute ok, sir?
>
> See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was
> wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help
> me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.
>
> Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV
> all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know? Is
> that painting real? Really? Wow. I saw something like that in a museum
> once!
>
> Oh, sorry sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just
> help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of
> your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney
> Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island ? No, I didn't think so. .
>
> Well, listen, anyways, I can't seem to get some information I need to
> wrap this up. These things seem to either be 'locked' or 'not
> available'. I'm sure it's just some oversight or glitch or something, so
> if you could you tell me where these things are . . . I . . . I . . .
> Have them written down here somewhere . . . Oh wait. Sorry about the
> smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you.
>
> Could you help me please find these things, sir?
>
> 1. Occidental College records -- Not released
> 2. Columbia College records -- Not released
> 3. Columbia Thesis paper -- 'not available'
> 4. Harvard College records -- Not released
> 5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
> 6. Medical records -- Not released
> 7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- 'not available'
> 8. Law practice client list -- Not released
> 9. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released
> 10. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released
> 11. Harvard Law Review articles published -- None
> 12. University of Chicago scholarly articles -- None
>
> 13. Your Record of baptism-- Not released or 'not available'
>
> 14. Your Illinois State Senate records--'not available'
>
> Oh hey . Listen! I know you are busy! Is this too much for you now? I
> mean tell you what. I will come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get
> these things together, you know? I mean, I know you are busy, so I will
> just let myself out. I will be back tomorrow.
>
> 'Who wants to know these things?' asked Senator Obama.
>
> Columbo answered: THE PEOPLE
>