okay i don't know about you but i think

lying and keeping something from someone are the same exact thing.  either way you put it, you're not telling the truth and you're covering something up.  so...when you lie to me or keep something from me, you don't gain my trust back for a long time and i hope you know that it freakin hurts me to know that some people would do this more than once.  i guess it was sorta silly to come back and trust them completely so soon.

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"Fairy tales always have happy endings."  she said.  "It depends."  She asked, "What do you mean?" 

"On whether you are Rumplestiltskin or the Queen..."

-Becca and Stan: Briar Rose

i'm the queen and i hate it.

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

okay this is something i've been meaning to put on here for a while, but never got around to it.

i love looking at the stars because i get to think and let my mind wander.  i usually have some pretty deep thoughts.  i was laying in the roundpin at neely's one night and i wondered "If our sun really is a star...what if every other star out there is a sun to another galaxy?  maybe every galaxy might not have life...but what if?" 

I really like that because it makes me think and now every time i look at the stars i wonder if that might be true.  i got to look at the stars this week when i went camping...while i wasn't freezing my legs off, that is!  (inside joke...well it's not really that funny, it's quite true.)  but n e way...that was one of my deep thoughts...that i probably surprised you all with.

carmen luvs austin

WELL i had an awesome weekend!!!!  i went camping on friday night, i got to play a little golf (well go to the driving range anyway) and i got to hang out with my awesome friends..well a few anyway.  i stayed up till like 3:30 in the morning just talking and working some stuff out...i guess you could call it working stuff out.  it was really a lot of fun.  but then i had to go to sleep...i got like maybe 2 and a half hours of sleep...and then i had to wake up at 6:30 today and go to a JBQ tournament for which i was the timekeeper....all day long.  WOOT...not really.  but it was really cool to hear all those kids just answering the questions and knowing that they know the Word that well!  it was hard to not like cheer the whole entire match.  and then i went to a 'rodeo'...roping competition...and i got on this horse.  well to say this nicely and simply, that horse was not my type.  it was trained so weird and i had never seen this thing before in my life so i was a little weirded out but then i got on and people started yelling at me like don't do this and don't do that and so i got off because they weren't helping anything.  (that was an EXTREMELY long sentence right there.)  but my favorite thing was camping...haven't done that in a while.  LoTs Of FuN...so yeah i guess that's really all.

and corey in answer to your question, i think some people put their problems on here because either they want people to know for selfish reasons or really serious reasons.  i put some of my problems on here sometimes because it's like a venting kind of thing and then...i don't know!  you've put problems on here before too.

WELL THEN...i best be goin'.  adios amigos

guess what all you coolio kiddos?  i learned football...or learned about it...or whathaveyou.  i went to the football game lastnight and i learned about penaltys and downs and stuff...WOO!  now when someone is talking about football i don't have to sit there and say i don't know what they're talking about cuz now i do!!!  I'm going camping tonight and i am flippin excited!  IT'S FRIDAY!!!  i really don't like fridays that much...but i guess they're alright.  i would say something about this guy that i might sorta maybe like, but i don't want to hear any i-told-you-so's.  BUT I'M GOING CAMPING!!!!  and i get to play golf...YES!  i have been waiting for that like all week long.  and the campout.  i'm tired, because i didn't sleep at all lastnight.  i think i was nervous and/or anxious and thinking too much.  but that happens to me a lot.  wow...so how was everyone's week???  i really would like to know because i'm bored and have nothing to do.

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I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A MESSAGE FROM ANYONE IN 2 DAYS.

(hint hint wink wink...send me a dang message.)

okay so...sadly, mr. meise (the choir director)...well his mother passed away.  so today, they had to go to the memorial service.  and because i am president, i was left with the duty of leading the rehearsal.  Me and Hallie were up there and i was on the grand piano...r.b. was on the clavi and yeah.  i played the alto part and my hands hurt so bad because i had to BANG on that piano (a grand piano, might i remind you!) because they couldn't hear it.  apparently, they are deaf.  they can't hear a part, they can't hear the piano, and they can't hear anything i'm saying.  and if they can, they just don't do it.  some of them do VERY well..but some just don't hardly DO anything at all.  so yeah.  but i guess all in all it was a pretty successful rehearsal.  the altos really did about the same as they always do, and they actually kinda did listen to us and didn't talk to awful much.  but you have to be loud, which i am good at, but for some reason, my voice feels so stressed!  GRR homecoming is the night right before freshman honors auditions...and thursday is the late night and i will be major sleep deprived...niether of which are good for a voice.  O well...even after i say all this stuff about how crazy it all is, in the end i always look back and i know that i love music and i love teaching and i really do!  so i guess that's all.

WOW that was a lot longer than i thought it would be....but this was what was buzzing around in my head.  so there.

I'm tired of being the weak one, the one who's trampled on and crushed.

It's times like these I turn to you, only then do the voices hush.

I'm sick of having to do that, sick of relying on someone else.

I want to be my own kickstand, don't want to be left on a shelf. 

My mind is cluttered with thoughts of this, but I'm leaving it all behind. 

I won't be the weak one any longer, it's forever in the back of my mind.

I'm stronger than you know, stronger than you think, and it's time for me to believe it.

Because I've got a dream, and you may not like it, but it's time for me to achieve it.

I won't let you walk all over me, I'm gonna be so much stronger.

So you can love me or hate me, take me or leave me, I'm NOT doing this any longer.

--Carmen

 

 

well i guess you could call my weekend pretty ideal, right?  wrong.  there's one major thing missing.  one thing that i could give everything else up for.  but no...i can't do that.  even if i did give everything up, it wouldn't make a difference.  i just want to say that you can't force someone's feelings to change.  and that's all.  so anyway...i guess i had a lot of fun riding horses and playing golf and stuff...but just while i was doing that stuff.  but afterward...i start thinking.  and we all know that's no good at all.  i don't really know what to do now.  so i guess have a dang good week...and talk to people.

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IF i can't hold you tonight, i can still dream about you.

so booyah

well yesterday i got to do two things that i absolutely LOVE!  i played golf and i rode my bike like 2 or so miles...(not much but hey) and today i get to RIDE HORSES...ah yay!  let me tell you, whacking a golf ball 150 or so yards is an EXCELLENT stress/anger (which i have plenty of both...) reliever.  i love golf...and biking...and riding horses!  i guess any kind of exercise is good for stress though.  maybe i'll try out for the golf team next year...i just have to start practicing.  it's like the only sport i'm really any good at that there's a team for at school.  o well...it's so much fun!

hey guys...guess what?  i'm off to my very first ever FASHION SHOW!  so i will see you coolio kiddos later!

luv ya

Your Right Foot and Your Brain

You have to try this to believe it!!!

How smart is Your Right Foot?

  Just try this - It is from an orthopedic surgeon.  This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot.  But, you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

i don't care how low and stupid begging is...this is me, on my knees begging please!!!!!!! 

please, i'll do ANYTHING in my power!  please...

yep that's me president of the freshmen women's choir...well co-prez.  whateveR!  YAY

oh and speaking of choir...i think i sing louder than the whole choir.  that's what it feels like anyway.  i would love to record a rehearsal and just see!  none of the altos sing...except me and sarah and we sound like the same dang person so you can never tell.  GRRRR.

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
Sometimes it's all a big surprise
'Cause there was a time when all I did was wish
You'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
But somehow it's enough

And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

All of the nights you came to me
When some silly girl had set you free
You wondered how you'd make it through
I wondered what was wrong with you
'Cause how could you give your love to someone else
And share your dreams with me
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for
Is the one thing you can't see

And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

Sometimes the very thing you're looking for
Is the one thing you can't see

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

You went and saved the best for last...

 

YAY i FINALLY got my ring!!!  (i had to get a size 4 1/2...cuz i have little fingers!)  it's garnet set in silver...SO BEAUTIFUL!!!  I can't stop looking at it!  yeah i know people probably don't really care...but i do.  so i thought maybe i would share with you the high point of my day.  well actually i made a prank call and it was really fun.  oh yeah the stone of the ring is garnet...SO AWESOME!

A light and entertaining exercise JJUST TWO THINGS...Two Names You Go By 1. Carmen  2. CarmTwo Things You Are Wearing Right Now1. Cut-offs...not short ones!!!2. A mood ringTwo Things You Would Want (or have) in a relationship1. someone i can trust2. humorTwo of Your Favorite Things to do1. ride horses2. anything to do with music or the artsTwo Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment1.  a new camera...a GOOD one 2. answers...Two pets you had/have1.  Pepper (dog)2. Sadie (THE BEST DOG EVER!!!)Two people who will fill this out:1. Probably no one2. Maybe tyler if he's bored enoughTwo things you did last night1.  Piano2. not talk to someone i really wanted toTwo things you ate today (yesterday)1.  pizza2.  CEREALTwo People you last talked to1.  hallie (in your dreams...haha no one gets that.)2.  shanaThings You're doing tomorrow1.  going to school2.  thisTwo longest car rides1. florida 2.  canadaFavorite Holidays1   Thanksgiving (also my b day)2.  Valentines DayTwo favorite beverages1.   Rootbeer2.   pure H20

i believe in angels...sometimes i wish i had one to always protect me.  i think i do.  :)

"In the arms of an angel, fly away from here...from this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear.  You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...You're in the arms of the angel...may you find some comfort here."

"Angel" Sarah McLachlan

That song is so beautiful...i love it and i'm gonna sing it.  it's my little 'safe song' i guess...i'm in the arms of the angel (and GOD!!!)

so i'm safe.

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Speaking of safe and angels, today is September the 11th.  I think we should all take a time to appreciate the people that fight every day to protect this country that doesn't always deserve what they give.  Take time to remember those lost and those that lived but grieve a loss.  Thank God that you weren't one to be lost.

i've always wanted to play the violin...especially like that!!!  this woman's name is Miri Ben-Ari...she is AMAZING.  she did this 'with' Martin Luther King Jr. as a kind of memorial for the tradgedy and heartache of racial segregation that this nation has overcome.  I think it has a GREAT meaning.  I wish there were some more people in the world like this.

ouch.  this hurts.  and i can't do anything about it.  really, i can't change ANYTHING.

CRUSHED.  I like SOME of these quotes and this song is me... :''')

"If you love someone, write their name in a circle; not a heart...a heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever..."

<3love<3

okay so i just like wrote a poem on a whim...i was thinking.  the poem really had nothing to do with what i was thinking about.  well the first line or two did and that was a metaphor.  but now that i'm done with it, the whole thing seems like a metaphor and i kinda like it.  AGAIN THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING.

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:The Un-crossed Line:

Once while taking a walk, I came upon an un-crossed line.  “The line not crossed” is what it read, “Do not cross the line”.  I pondered for a quick moment on what this could possibly mean.  Then I noticed something, something I hadn’t yet seen.  It was a beautiful field of wildflowers, lying just behind the line.  One flower was all that I wanted, one flower to only be mine.  But then I remember the sharp words, the ones written of the line.  But couldn’t I just take ONE flower?  Would it really be a horrible crime?  I decided I would grab a single bloom, it wouldn’t take all that long.  But once I was over the line, I realized that this was all wrong.  These flowers were wonderful, beautiful things.  But they weren’t meant for me to take.  They surrounded a picturesque setting, went around a humongous lake.  I wanted to turn around, wanted so badly to run away.  But now that I was over that line, I figured that I might as well stay.  I stayed the night there, with the ground as my bed.  As I dozed, I wondered-what was it that line had read?  Then, in that moment, I remember.  I remember ever so clearly.  It told me to stay on the other side, away from the flowers I wanted so dearly.  OH!  The flowers, the wonderful flowers.  I never had gone to get one.  I got up, but when I did, I knew right then I should have run.  Run far away, away from those things…but I just couldn’t do it.  They teased me yet captured me, told me how to go, and said there was nothing to it.  I followed, reluctantly, through the field of flowers.  On the way there, our new location, time seemed to creep by the hour.  When we finally had arrived, in this crazy new spot, I felt so out of place.  There was too much confusion, too much chaos, here in this immaculate space.  I tried to make a run for it, tried to loose myself, yet I just couldn’t move.  Then I realized, then I knew, just what that line had proved.  I wish I had listened, I wish I had known, I wish I’d been given a map.  But now it’s too late, there’s no turning back, I’m stuck forever in this trap.

hello people

well the pageant is over until next year and....i did not win!  and that's okay because this was a GREAT experience and it was SOOOOO much fun to do!  i think i'll do it again next year.  i wish some of my friends could have been there...it was raining.  i'm super bored...wonder what movies are playing...hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

i wonder.

carmen

Free Fun Quizzes at FunQuizCards.comARE YOU AN ALIEN?. . . i am.

haha...conversation in geometry this morning-

Aleisha to Mrs. Post: Proofs take up a half of page...and we have a lot of them!  Proofs are killing trees.

Mrs. Post to Aleisha: Trees are happy to sacrifice their lives for your education.

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yeah i know that's sorta random but i really thought that was downright HI-larious.

so have a nice day, dang it.

photo from

okay i don't know how many of you know this...but i am the coolest kid on the face of the earth (pshaw who am i kidding...everyone knows that!! lol).  but anyway i'm going to verginny in like 4 weeks or so...well the "resort" cabin thing we are staying at has horseback riding.  well my dad told me that it's trails...so i was like...okay at least i get to ride.  i just found out that you can ride like normal around places and stuff...BUT you have to pass the little riding test.  i think me and neely will be fine.  but i will be sad if i don't pass.  i don't know why i wouldn't though.