so i'm back from camp. camp was great... heard some awesome messages that really helped me understand where some of my weaknesses are. so i learned that my 2 biggest struggles are my attitude and what i say (and how i say it). so my friend came and visited me at camp on Tuesday... that was interesting. i met his parents. they were really sweet, but i really felt uncomfortable b/c i felt like they saw me as their future daughter-in-law or something. i didn't give him the "talk" that i planned to give. i couldn't find the strength... but i could tell that he knew i was uncomfortable w/ anything more than friendship... i could tell he was trying to protect my feelings. i really appreciated that. i think other than the preaching the highlight of the week was a game of "tub-tug" to make a long story short you try to get the tub across your line and fight of the other girl who's trying to do the same... which means... at all costs do what you have to do, be mean, be nasty, be visious. I LOVED IT!!! i played so hard i thought that i might have broken a finger... but i think it's just bruised and swollen... we'll see in a few days. but might i add that a broken finger is worth it!!! haha... my team won the week! heck yes!! so anyways... i got an application to work at camp next summer... it's funny b/c my councelor was asking me if i had thought about it... and then the guy who was one of our CIT speakers last summer really encouraged me to apply.. and then one of the speakers was talking about setting goals and continuing to persue them and he used working there as an example. is God trying tell me something? i wonder... i'm still afraid that i won't get it. but i've decided that i'm going to place it in God's hands... and if that's where He wants me.. that's where He'll place me. my sunday school teacher's wife has volunteered to pray w/ me about it. anyways.. it's late... and i need to go to bed. i do want you to know that this week was really a blessing. i needed it.. and i didn't want to leave... rough cabin or no. night, children of the Living God! ~Hope

Monday i head out to the Wilds in NC for the last time as a camper. i guess it's bitter sweet. i hope to work there in the future tho. the only thing that is really heavy on my heart is that i will be visiting w/ a friend from CIT (a two week "Camper In Training" program) last year... and i have to have a "talk" w/ him. i have a feeling that i'll have to break his heart. i dread it. i really do. i know that God has a plan for all this. and i'm trusting that this week will be great. yet, i could really use your prayers

Father,
thank you for this last chance to visit as a camper. thank you for the 2 girls from church who are rooming w/ me. thank you for our sponsers. God, i really want to pray for my counselor that you would give her some extra grace this week. give her the words that we will all need to hear. help me to serve her in any way possible. be with the girls in my cabin... i pray each heart (including my own) would be open and ready for all that you have for us to learn. help us to draw closer to you this week. help our cabin to truely be unified be w/ the speakers. give them the words that every ear there will need to hear... and help every heart to be changed by it. prepare each heart for your word. do great things in our lives (including the speakers, counselors, sponsers, and staff). be with me as i talk to my friend. help him to understand all that i have to say. help me to be compassionate, honest, and open. help me to point him to you and every way possible. help him to see that you are my first priority. thank you for this gift and time of singleness in my life. help me to be satisfied w/ you in every way and to wait on your timing for romance. let my heart never wonder. go w/ me. and bless this week. in Christ's name, amen.

so today is my 18th birthday. it's so exciting... i pray to God that i stop and take time to enjoy this age and not rush through like my heart is so eager to do. i want to take this year to draw closer to God. i want to get so close that i'm up in His face. i want to be embrassed in His arms. i know that He alone can hold me the way that i long to be held. if i've learned one thing during my year of no dating so far, it would be that the only one that can fully fill the shoes of the love that i've been searching for... is God. He's the only one. yes, i know that He's got a guy out there that is going to completely be my match in every way, but i also know that my man won't be perfect. i'm not perfect. but God is. i'm so glad that i have this time to be single... and just focus on my Savior. i'm so grateful that God really showed me the light... because i used to live for that next guys attention and affection. Because of God i'm completely changed. i don't think that there's a soul on earth that can get to know Christ and not be changed. ~Hope Elizabeth

"You are all i need if i'm by myself... you fill me when i'm empty.. there is nothing else... you're all i need."

so today me, Amber, and Racheal all sun bathed in Amber's pool... it was great fun... but you know it's all fun and games until someone turns into a red lobster. nuff said? i think so.