so.

life is...well....life. i started taking voice lessons with Ms. Donna today, and lemme tell ya, I AM SO EXCITED! i can't wait to maybe do some recitals and stuff! woot.

i had to miss church so that i could study my APUSH crap...grr...but it was such a God-mercy thing that i didn't have to take it today.

the whole feelings for that one person is slowly but surely dying, which is good, i guess.

billy joel is my hero.

i met a former girlfriend of Mr. Huffman's...can you say creepy????

and last but not least, i have decided to stay in DBS, so now i gotta start planning for formal...i still don't even know who i'm going to take...ugh. well, i must go pretend i'm not gonna fail this test tomorrow. g'nite to all and much love----Cari

question: why would God allow someone to feel something for a certain person when they are not supposed to?

call me shallow, but when's it gonna be my turn? how come everyone else gets the guy except me? i've got a few guesses. man. sometimes it just gets ya down.

so. school is going magnificently so far. with the exception of choir, which isn't bad, except i have not the most wonderful of dance partners. i know that i can't dance, but he doesn't even seem to try. and he does lovely things like burp and pass gas whilst dancing. oh the chivalry.

ha. nayways, i love my friends, but i love my God more. He is the only one who fills that need for consistency and faithfulness in my heart. and He has been revealing Himself to me big-time lately. it's super cool.

quick observation: life is short. don't waste it by trying to find your identity in things that don't last. and don't stress.

pretty sure that everyone around me is dating the person they've been after for years; i think it should be my turn. ha. j/k. well, i must do my homework de espanol...ha. much love and goodnight to all ----Cari 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I can't believe we actually won! 'twas amaaaaaaaaaaaazing! i do believe i am beginning to feel the winds of change! it was supah fly, and plus i got william to come, so that was fun. but certain other people barely spoke to me, which is weird. i hope he doesn't have some sort of problem with me. whatev. nayways, it was fun, and i got to see a whole lot of people i know, and like, everyone @ my church goes to Siegel, so i can't truly hate them.

question: why do some people try to get me to curse now that i've stopped doing that?

nayways, yeah. it's been a good week. i am quite in love with school, which i know sounds crazy, but i really do love OHS. well, i'm going to go do some APUSH and then go to bed. much love to you all! ---Cari

so here's a Cari Jennings life update:

-last week, we started choreography for the variety show. i'm such a bad dancer, but the new choreographer is soooooooooooo much better than Brooks. it will be really fun once we get it all down. i ended up paired with matt....again. ha. j/k, he's aight.

-finally got my schedule changed for the 3rd time. i am finally in Advanced Honors Chem instead of honors, and still in honors geometry. super great.

-i'm doing the Experiencing God Bible study, and it's really awesome, and i can't get over how much i'm learning. i really thought i had God figured out, but i was so wrong.

-one of my friends got saved last week, and i am so excited about that. it's funny how when i pray, i don't seem to expect God to actually do anything, and especially not so quickly! but i end up getting blown away pretty much everytime.

-i think i missed an opportunity on Sunday, and that makes me quite sad/angry.

-church is tomorrow night, and i'm excited. i believe that Clint is speaking on Romans 9? maybe. something in Romans, plus the youth room has been redecorated!

-i can't believe just how stupid i am sometimes. i don't think i can control what i think anymore. how do you tell the difference in a silly crush and someone God has placed in your heart for a reason? am i attracted simply to people whom i can't have/ shouldn't date? whatever. being a teenager is fun, but causes a good bit of stupidity.

-this is a great song and i love the lyrics.

"And Your Praise Goes On" ---Chris Rice

The moon is high and the sunset fades
The lullabies have all been sung
We’re tuckin’ in another day
And stars appear now one by one
But the stillness moves and the silence yields
And not a single beat is lost
You can hear the chorus in the fields

Taking up where we left off
And Your praise goes on, rising to Your throne
Where You guard us while we dream
Past the stars they fly, Your praises fill the sky
‘Til You wake us with the dawn
And Your praise goes on

Now bring your warmth, O morning sun
Chase the stars and the moon away
And wake us with your brightest song
And add our voice to your refrain
Now rise up everything that lives!
Flap your wings and leap for joy!
Oh forest lift your arms and sway!
Clap your hands you ocean waves!

And Your praise goes on, rising to Your throne
Where You bless our toil and play
Through the clouds they rise, Your praises fill the skies
‘Til the setting of the sun
And Your praise goes on
And when my final breath You lend
I’ll thank You for the life You gave
But that won’t mean the praises end
‘Cause I won’t be silenced by the grave!

And Your praise goes on
I’ll be runnin’ to Your throne
With every nation, tribe and tongue
To Your arms I’ll fly
I’ll gaze into Your eyes
Then I’ll know as I am known
And Your praise goes on
And Your praise goes on
And Your praise goes on

well, i love you all and i gotta go to bed. much love -----Cari 

dang. i think i scare people. big time. do i freak you out?

so. today's the day. 2 years. man. seems like forever, and yet yesterday, too. i've gotten to the point to where i can barely remember what that life was like, which scares me. i heard this song for the first time yesterday while driving to Wal-Mart, and had what i would pretty much consider a melt-down. here's the lyrics. i thought that they were quite applicable.

"Homesick" --MercyMe

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

much love ---Cari

ha. so. school's not out fo' summa. at least not for now.

so, to recap the week, i've done a lot of thinking since the angry skank entry. but i don't have time to write all of those thoughts down currently, so i'll discuss other things for now.

the leadership retreat was on saturday at New Frontiers. fun, fun. i climbed that mountain just to sit for 2 hours. i'm too much of a chicken for the giant swing o' doom. but i thought it was really constructive. and fun.

school started today, and i believe it's going to be a very good year. i've grown a whole lot in my walk this summer, and i think that that along with a whole lotta prayer is gonna make this year better than ever. i just felt so confident today.

i have officially decided to keep my messed up class schedule, meaning that i will not be taking APUSH. 'twas a hard decision, but i don't think it was truly and accident that i got placed where i did. so it's honors U.S. history for me, and regular Adv. Hon. Spanish III. i think that MTSU will still take me.

a few words of encouragement for all you folks in the coming school year:

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."           --- 1 John 4:4

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." --- Romans 12:2a

"And we know tha in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose...What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?...In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For i am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation  will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." ---Romans 8:28, 31, 37-39

much love to you all! ---Cari

so. sometimes i wonder about DBS.

last night, i had firmly decided not to go the dance, mostly because everytime i go, i end up standing there watching other people dance, while simultaneously wondering what i'm doing there. but in the end, i decided to go, because i wasn't really feelin sitting in Bellecino's. so i get there, i talk to a few people, pausing every now and then to observe. and as i observe, i notice how many girls i see grinding/humping/generally molesting these guys, who obviously have no qualms with it. and then i see girls just dancing like a non-skank. and the biggest surprise is, some go to church with me, some go to other churches on a regular basis. yet they seem to have no problem with totally whoring out. 

now, don't get me wrong, because i have NO problem with dancing. in fact, i don't even have as much of a problem with "those" girls. but man, it just makes me sad. now, i may not be "popular" with the guys (and with those guys, i wouldn't want to be...), and no, i don't dance at all and i'm not jealous of them. i just find it awfully ironic that women fought for so long to have rights, and to become equal to men in our society, just so that we can throw ourselves onto and degrade ourselves in the sight of men??? people say to me, "but it's fun, and i love it, so why not? i'm not having sex with these guys, so what's the harm?" the harm is the image you give off. i don't think we should go back to the days of petticoats, corsets, and strict fundamentalism, but gahlee. where do we draw the line? 

and it's not just the girl's fault either. guys, start respecting women. didn't anyone ever teach you any better? it's not all your responsibility, but geez. if you tell a girl (whether vocally or with your actions) that being a slut is what makes her attractive and worth your time, then you don't deserve to have her. i know that you all are a visual bunch, and that you are going to think about it on a pretty consistent basis, but you do not have to be slaves to lust. especially if you are in Christ.

no, i don't know what it's like to be in a mature, adult relationship, but i've sure seen what it's not like. sex and/or related activities do not make you an adult or more desireable. girls and guys alike, you are selling yourselves short! there is more to life than constantly worrying about how you look, or if he/she is paying attention to you. i know this sounds cliche, but if he or she doesn't treat you like the valuable person you are, he or she doesn't deserve you. seeing so many relationships from the outside looking in, i've really learned a lot of what i don't want.

also, what on earth is wrong with some people? last night for the first time, upon seeing the videos for "Ms. New Booty" and "Laffy Taffy", i left the dance. i just came from church, for goodness sake. i know i sound like an old lady, but gahlee. it was just sinful. that's the only word i can think of. no, i don't think that people that watch BET and MTV are all going to hell. but it was just a slap in the face of Christ. i thought about what He would think if He were standing beside me watching some of the stuff going on there. and it occured to me, that He was. He saw every bit of it, and i know that it hurt His heart. just as much as me yelling at my parents. just as much as me rolling my eyes  and judging a friend. so my point is, don't sell yourself short. you are all valuable, regardless of what you've done. much love to you all, and good night. ---Cari 

ha. i'm so gangsta.

so yay for rush! rush was monday morning, and it was supa-fly. pretty sure Kate almost had a heart attack, which was quite entertaining. it was fun, though not extremely eventful. tonight was the skating party, which was fun, though i didn't skate much. i'm kinda of a chicken when it comes to skating, but that's ok. at least i didn't die. wednesday nite is the dance, and i need a date! any takers? and yes, i am still going to church, since it doesn't start til 8. ha. as if.

quick side note, 50 First Dates is my new favorite. yep, just before Schindler's List and The Butterfly Effect. de-ang. ha.

school is gonna start way too soon, but i will be an upperclassman(or woman)! WOOOT! plus, a bunch of little girls have to call me Miss Jennings and give me candy!!!!!ah, yes. life is most certainly good. well, nite nite kids. much love---Cari

ha. so i finally ate guacamole for the first time (by choice) tonight. restaurant raid was at Blue Coast. i had half a burrito and a brush with death. michael almost ordered it with (dun dun DUN!) BLACK OLIVES!!!!!!!! it would have been really sad if he had have killed me via a small black vegetable. anyways, got to know a kid named Zeke, which was pretty cool. clint gave the most amazing message in the world tonight. and that's because it was just all  God. like, it was totally His words. it was amazing. i could've sworn that he was speaking directly to me.

i also got to thinking about how shallow i can be. how shallow the world is. there are so many people living for the most temporary things. temporary glory. and also how many religious people there are. i'm guilty of it myself at times. Tonight clint talked about how easy it is to be religious. In fact, it seems to almost be catered to our human nature. It's a result of our pride, it glorifies us, it requires no love or compassion, and enables us to accuse because, of course, we are so much better than those sinners. our world doesn't need more religion. we need the radical, transforming change that a real relationship with Jesus Christ brings. Christianity is not a religion. It's a relationship. sounds trite i know, but it's just the truth. i get so comfortable with the milk of God's word, and even when i'm offered the meat and potatoes, i just shrink back and stay complacent. i can be such a hypocrite.

i know that God loves us all equally, but sometimes i wonder if He shakes His head at us as Christians more than non-believers, because we know better, and we still act like we are of this world. i feel like i've just been talking the talk, but no more. i'm gonna start walking. 

"THEREFORE, THERE IS NOW NO COMDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS!" ---Romans 8:1. i want to live my life in the knowledge of the freedom that i have in Christ. i didn't realize how far i had fallen until tonight, and i had to question a lot of my motives. i had truly forgotten my first love. i pray that each and every one of you will come to that same realization, just quicker than i did. if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, go forward tomorrow knowing that any accusation brought up against you cannot stand. you are not bound by the "law of sin and death" any longer! praise God, and thanks be to Him! i love you all so much. goodnight, and much love  ----Cari  

hahahahahhaahahahahahhahahahahahahaha....i don't think i'll ever get over that one. i reeeeeeeally miss mexico. i noticed to day how not normal i really am. i seem to be absolutely nothing like my friends. which, in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. but sometimes it does seem to make for a bit of a distance between us these days. today i went to visit Bruce's grave for the first time in a long time. it was kinda weird, cause my mom went to take flowers to my uncle's grave earlier in the day, so i thought i would take some to Bruce's. and

it just didn't seem right. it's strange how as you get farther away from someone's death, your perception of how they used to be seems to change. nayways, on a less depressing note, church is tomorrow, which should be fun. i dunno if i'll go to restaraunt raid or not, but whatev. well, this is a really boring post. i guess i don't have much else to say. good night y'all. much love---Cari

i never really know what i'm gonna get.

so last night

i go to hollywood video, and who do i see, but Kevin Krapf, who i haven't seen in a million and two years. and he just gave me a big hug, and we listened to his band, Sugar Vibe, who are really really super duper good. like seriously talented.

nayways.

that was pretty dang cool. life is good right now. and i am actually kinda looking forward to going back to school. i miss my friends, and i think mr. vaughn is gonna do good things for the school. so question: which is worse, telling someone how you feel about them, and them not feeling the same, or that person never knowing how you feel? also, i want to know how many people know my middle name. what is it? much love to you all ---Cari X. Jennings....(???)

so tonight's restaurant raid was at La Siesta, best mexican restaurant in the world. muy divertido.

church was cool. tonight was NY/NJ share night, and God obviously blessed their trip. it's great to hear that i have so many new brothers and sisters in Christ!

so anyways, i got to thinking, as we were in worship, how good we've got it here in America. no one's bombing us. no one's telling us we can't worship our God in whatever way we want to. whereas people in Lebanon and Israel are currently fighting just to stay alive, much less enjoy life. and we seem to take it so much for granted. as if we had all the time in the world.

anyways, just a thought. life is great right now. i love my friends, but most of all, i love my God. He always seems to know just what i need to hear, exactly when i need it. lately i've been really confused about what i want to do with my life, and i waver back and forth between wanting to be a doctor, and wanting to be a missionary. i don't really feel that i could be both. i think about being at that point in life, and looking back at my choice, and i just don't see me ever regretting becoming a missionary, whereas i can see myself regretting not doing it. but who knows. i feel like jeremiah when he said that the word of the Lord was like  "a fire in his bones" that he was weary of shutting in. cool stuff. neways, i think i'm officially smitten. but i don't know that the feeling's mutual. i sure hope so. but i don't know that he'll ever know about it, unless he asks me. who knows? well, i'm really tired, so i'm gonna go hit the hay. nite nite g-units. ----Cari  

The Second Coming -- William Butler Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand;
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries
of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

appropriate? i think so. just something to think on. let me know your take on this poem.much love ---Cari

gahlee. in case i haven't reiterated it enough, i'm kinda stupid. but only in some matters.

so, last night after church we all went to the Mellow Mushroom, and it was mucho fun. pizza was extra good, and i got to sit in the "magic bus" (ha) with a bunch of people. had a great time.

Kudos to Justin for the amazing message last night. he made a point that really hit home with me, and that is that we should consider others better than ourselves. Christ calls us to love, not judgement. so the question is, when are we, as Christians, going to stop talking about what we believe and act on it? Love is not just an emotion, it's action. It's also a reaction to Christ's love for us that fills us up and enables us to do the same. Odds are, you are not going to walk up to the lady at the counter in McDonald's and say "I love you!", (partly  because she'd probably pepper spray you.) but you mostly certain could smile at her and tell her thank you and that you appreciate it. That's how people are going to notice a difference in us. They will know us by our love. So, next time that weird looking kid or the pregnant girl walks into your/our church, school, or anywhere else, regardless of their circumstances, appearance, politics, sexual orientation, race, or anything else, love them. We serve no purpose if all we do is judge, and as if we even had a say in how much God cares for them. We were the ones who drove the nails through Jesus' arms and feet, and He loves us anyway. We know better, and yet we sometimes act worse than non-believers. I am by no means saying that i perfectly exemplify these standards, because God Himself knows my heart. All i am saying is that it all comes down to love. Regardless of your past, God loves you the same as He loves me, and therefore i have no right to judge any of you. well, i guess i am gonna go for now. much love to all of you. ---Cari  

gahlee. in case i haven't reiterated it enough, i'm kinda stupid. but only in some matters.

so, last night after church we all went to the Mellow Mushroom, and it was mucho fun. pizza was extra good, and i got to sit in the "magic bus" (ha) with a bunch of people. had a great time.

Kudos to Justin for the amazing message last night. he made a point that really hit home with me, and that is that we should consider others better than ourselves. Christ calls us to love, not judgement. so the question is, when are we, as Christians, going to act? Love is not just an emotion, it's action. It's also a reaction to Christ's love for us that fills us up and enables us to do the same. Odds are, you are not going to walk up to the lady at the counter in McDonald's and say "I love you!", (partly  because she'd probably pepper spray you.) but you mostly certain could smile at her and tell her thank you and that you appreciate it. That's how people are going to notice a difference in us. They will know us by our love. So, next time that weird looking kid or the pregnant girl walks into your/our church, school, or anywhere else, regardless of their circumstances, appearance, politics, sexual orientation, race, or anything else, love them. We serve no purpose if all we do is judge, and as if we even had a say in how much God cares for them. We were the ones who drove the nails through Jesus' arms and feet, and He loves us anyway. We know better, and yet we sometimes act worse than non-believers. I am by no means saying that i perfectly exemplify these standards, because God Himself knows my heart. All i am saying is that it all comes down to love. Regardless of your past, God loves you the same as He loves me, and therefore i have no right to judge any of you. well, i guess i am gonna go for now. much love to all of you. ---Cari  

man. so today was good. little surprises are fun, and i must say, i love my friends. especially friends who make me proud to say that they are my friend. it's actually quite funny how much of a contrast i'm starting to see between certain friends. especially guys. but a lot of times i find myself resenting certain friends because they aren't other people, which i can't do to them or myself, but it still happens occasionally. really bothers me sometimes. and the other thing that really seems to nag me is when i have such a great time with other guy-friends, and then afterwards i immediately feel guilty or sometimes worse than before, which is stupid because i know i shouldn't feel that way, because Bruce wouldn't want me to and because it's just not right. but i always find myself wondering if it's gonna be that way all my life. well, too much thinking for now.

in other news, Bro. Dean deliver yet another excellent sermon today about fellowship. and michael came and sat w/ me in church, so that was fun. it's nice to sit by a guy who opens his Bible and pays attention to Dean instead of try to make me laugh or whatever the whole time. well i must go for now, but i leave you with a very depressing song. much love---Cari   

my yesterdays are all boxed up, and neatly put away/but every now and then you come to mind / and you were always waiting to be picked to play the game / but when your name was called you found a place to hide / when you knew that i was always on your side./ and everything was easy then / so sweet and innocent / my demons and my angels reappeared / leaving only traces / of who you thought i'd be / too afraid to hear the words i'd always feared/ leaving you with only questions all these years / is there some place far away, some place where all is clear? / easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear / or are you left to wonder / alone eternally / this isn't how it's really meant to be?

so. the 4th was fun-ish. Jared ended up being the only person that could come but it was still fun. i'm mondo excited about Rush this year, but i can't say much else in case someone who got in actually ever reads this. woot! Bro. Dean gave a really good sermon this past weekend about our country and such. He's very, very tactful and quite good at articulating what needs to be said without going off on some kind of rant. very cool. i don't think i could do that.

in other news, we went to the drive-in to see Pirates of the Caribbean dos in Woodbury. 'twas fun, but man was it cold. i was fuh-reezing.

believe it or not, i am actually at the point to where i want to go back to school. i just kinda wanna go ahead and get my junior year over with so i can be a senior. well i must go now. cherrios and cornflakes to you all. much love--Cari

so. on Sunday i left for DBS Convention @ the Opryland Radisson in Nashville. it was actually really different from what i expected. i actually kinda had fun, and made a few new friends. i really learned a lot, and i'm really excited about this coming year in DBS. but man am i gonna hafta shell out a lotta moneys....ha. i'mma hafta start selling drugs...j/k, guys, j/k. the hotel was pretty neat. and i got to go shopping @ Opry Mills w/ not a penny to my name. sad. oh well. i don't really have much to say i guess. i was in the process of watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose, but i turned it off. i'mma finish it tomorrow, cause i was a bit too creeped out. scary stuff, but well-written scary stuff. cool beans. nayways, i'mma got to bed. nite nite g's...much love---Cari 

Jack Johnson is amazing. enough said.

ahhh, summer. that time when a young man/woman gets to wake up at 11 AM, and that's ok...because they don't have to go anywhere...ok. maybe that's just me...but whatev.

so. today was somewhat uneventful. woke up late, had to go to a DBS thing @ Tiffany's house...Convention starts on Sunday...i'mma gonna have to miss church...poo. but hopefully it will be fun. i am super duper mondo muy muy mucho excited because i actually found a dress that i lurve to wear to closing banquet...fun fun. i just realized however, that i am going to be around nothing but sorority girls for 4 days...uh oh. j/k..i'll live. 'twill be fun.

in other news, Nacho Libre is quite funny and you all should go see it. i liked it lots.

GOOD NEWS! they are still gonna do the MTSU fireworks again this year behind my house for 4th of July! WOOOOT! i am only inviting a few peeps, but it will be supa-dupa fun fun. i can't believe summer is almost half over. and i've done nothing...waaahhh. oh well.

also, i am currently very confused. if God were calling me to be single, why would he put such a love in my mind and heart for this one person? maybe i'm just exaggerating in my mind. who knows? i'm nuts. i think i should just go ahead and become a nun. ha. not that being Catholic is a prerequisite or anything...i'd make a great Baptist nun. ha. well, i'm obviously quite tired, so i should go hit ze sack. g'nite jiggaboos. much love ----Cari

well. long story short, i got fajita'd...yep. my box of fajitas defecated on my jeans and my favorite shirt. oh well. alas...nayways. yeah. it's so funny how when we lose someone, we don't seem to expect God to fill that hole or even try to comfort us, and yet, if you actually look to Him to fill it, He then blesses you so much. and in this case, it's with a friend. i haven't had such wonderful conversations with such a wonderful guy since Bruce died, and i really missed that. but i found someone who can give that to me, and though they obviously can't replace Bruce, they really make me smile and brighten my day. anyways, had some really good convo on the way to woodbury in a bus. wasn't really expecting it, but it was so nice. nayways, i gots ta go hit the sack. nite nite suckaaaaahhhhs! much love to all of yous guys! --Cari

 "Jesus paid much too high a price for us to pick and choose who should come..." --Casting Crowns

so. it has come to my attention that i have been much too arrogant in the past few blogs. i have come to realize that even if i am right or basing these things on my beliefs, it does not give me license to be cocky about it, as though i came up with the ideas or anything. so please forgive me for coming across so rudely. i am just very passionate about what i believe, but i have gone about it in the wrong way. i am really asking God to make me less judgemental, because that's His job, not mine. this does not, however, mean that i am apologizing for anything that i said, just apologizing for the way i said it.

so, this morning Bro. Dean's sermon was really good. He was talking about the story of Tychicus and Onesimus, which isn't really well-known, but it's just an example of what kind of servants we are supposed to be. it really encouraged me to serve in a way that is joyful, not begrudgingly.

in other news, i really can't wait for Fall Retreat. i know it's still June, but i LOOOOOOOVE Fall Retreat. like, the beach is great, but my heart lies in the mountains. nayways, yeah. life is good. 

question: do any of you feel called to be single for life? i think that God may be calling me to that. not that i'm not wanting to be patient, but i was contemplating marriage and children and all that, and i don't know that i am necessarily being called to get married. i don't even know if want children, which is nothing like anything i've grown up thinking. who knows? i'm sure as soon as i think that that's what i have to do, God will end up bringing me a husband. He's funny like that. nayways, just a thought. i am only 16, but ya know...never too early to start thinking about it. much love to all of you! --Cari 

ok. so. yet another thought for the day:

all Baptists are not bigots. it really stirs my apples that the only baptists that you see in the news and such are the ones who picket funerals with signs that say things like "God Hates Fags" or "Thank God for 9/11" and other stupid garbage like it. first of all, they are not even real Christians, because none of that is true about God, and secondly, they are a very small sect, not the majority. anyways, any thoughts? i hope you guys don't see me that way, and i want all of you to know, that despite anything you say or do, i don't hate any of you. i may not agree, but it's not like i'm gonna hold that against you. and i'd appreciate it if that same courtesy were shown to me. it seems to me that the so-called "open-minded" are open-minded to everything but Christianity and/or conservative beliefs. so, if you're gonna be so open-minded, make sure you're open-minded to everyone...much love to you all ----Cari