Okay, this article that I am linking to is EXTREMELY long, but as I was
reading it I considered more than once how unfortunately true it is. It
is pretty blunt, and amusingly, it is written by a Democrat and is
largely a critique of Democratic policies on Iraq and war. He doesnt
have much good to say and wont make very many friends in the part he
sometimes supports.

http://www.ornery.org/essays/warwatch/2007-04-01-1.html

The
whole thing really got me thinking, though, about how easy it is to
give up things such as personal honor in so many different ways. For
example, I was talking (semi-arguing) about a complicated issue with a
friend of mine earlier. And in the end, I ended the argument, said that
a decision had to be made based on what people were comfortable with.

This
is so true, but at the same time, I was either totally wrong in what I
was saying at first, or I was right and I just gave up. What a crappy
way to go.

I think back to the topic of evangelism in this
regard, since Jerel was talking about it last night. Do we really worry
so much that people will think we're nuts that we wont share the gospel
anymore? I hate so much to admit that I absolutely do at times. What an
honorless pig I am to stand before the Holy, Sovereign, Awesome God of
the Universe, claim the name of Jesus Christ and a relationship there,
and then spit in His face saying that I will claim to believe something
that Earth shattering but that my being comfortable is more important
than His Great Commission.

Go and make disciples. Oh how often
we totally screw that up. How often we'll let someone raise a hand,
walk an aisle, stand up, or whatever else, then we shove them off
merrily on their way to do the same thing for someone else. Yeah, they
might make some converts, and those converts might make some, and such
forth. But my WORD, how WEAK is that? DISCIPLES, people. We're not
handing somebody a stack of insurance cards, and it is as sure as
heaven not a "take one and pass it" (I hate that phrase in all possible
ways, but it works).

The greatest thing that this leads to is
a lot of shallow, lukewarm Christ Followers who know nothing about the
name they claim. And that is assuming that their "conversion" is a true
one, which is a whole different can of worms if they arent being
discipled.

The Word of God is a huge thing not to be taken
lightly. It should absolutely be spoken with conviction, and it should
absolutely be spoken as a 100% God-breathed truth from Heaven, and
anyone who looks down on an accurate teaching of Scripture JUST BECAUSE
IT STEPS ON SOME TOES is treading on the dangerous ground of the likes
of Joel O'Steen and Friends that refuse to preach about the truth of
sin, Hell, and Satan, and want to talk about the squishy
warmandfuzzies.

I'll tell you something totally nuts. If there
is a ministry that is bleeding people, everyone is disappearing, and
big changes have happened recently, you can have a pretty good clue
about them; their pastor is almost certainly preaching the absolute
truth of Christ in a profound, honest, and accurate way and people dont
want to hear it. WAKE UP! People loved Jesus when he was all Miracles
and Fun! But when He got to the Gospel Truth about Himself, the fun and
games were over for His followers. They werent impressed anymore. They
wanted to be entertained, nevermind eternal Truth.

They didnt want Jesus Christ, they wanted a magician, parlor tricks and Red Rubber Balls.

It
seems just the same that people dont want Dean Sisk or Jerel Olsen.
Some people dont want Fritz Games. I absolutely love all three of them
and the passion for the Word and the Lord that they share in common.
But that is me. Some people want the wishy-washy, health-and-wealth
Word of Truth crap from people like Joel O'Steen, Benny Hinn, and TD
Jakes. Some people want the EVIL of hateful people like Pat Robertson.

If you look at Scripture for EITHER of those, you are looking in the wrong place.

The
Word isnt there to make you feel good about yourself. I absolutely LOVE
what Fritz has been saying about the Old Testament this semester, that
the stories arent there saying for us to be like those people, it is
there to tell us we ARE like those people. There's a little bit of
David arranging to take Bathsheba and have her husband killed in all of
us. I bit of Jacob, looking for love and acceptance in all of the wrong
places. A bit of Sarah, not trusting God to do exactly what He said. A
little bit of Moses, disobeying out of frustration with dreadful
consequences. A little bit of Jonah, running from our HONOR and
RESPONSIBILITY to God out of hate for a certain group of sinners.

If people are in sin, they need to know it. They also need to know the truth.

Tough cookies folks.

Jesus
Christ is not politically correct in today's terms. People seem to
think that it is intolerant to call something wrong that God clearly
calls wrong wrong. Unfortunately, people look at a condemnation of such
things as homosexuality as homophobia, because as much as we sing the
old song of "hate the sin, not the sinner," MANY OF US STILL HATE THE
SINNER AND WE WONT ADMIT IT. That isnt cool. Not a bit.

This
is really long and really incoherent and definitely chased rabbits from
the original topic. I really dont feel like I'm done, but I've hit a
wall. If anyone has comments or a sharp rebuke for me, feel free to
send it my way. I'm open to correction :-)

This is written partially in response to a note posted by a friend of
mine, so if anything seems slightly disjointed or a bit random, that is
the reason for it.

Churches find themselves in a pretty pickle sometimes. They find themselves fighting every direction because of differences in opinion and "needs" of different ages. Old people want to sing "How Great Thou Art" and nothing else, while the hooligans dispersed through the congregation want "Shout Unto God" and "Song of the Redeemed." When all is said and done, someone always feels as though they haven't been engaged. They feel as though the church is ignoring their "needs," not doing things in a certain way that best involves them.

To put it simply, good for the Church.

I enjoy "Shout Unto God" as much as the next hormone-laden college kid, but when "Joyful, Joyful" (or "Your Grace Is Enough" or anything upbeat and catchy, just so I'm not cracking on just the oldies J) is played in Sunday worship, my response isn't dissatisfied or irritated. It is worship to God.

For once, the problem is less with most churches than it is with the Church. People go to church looking to be engaged, excited, whatever else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being engaged, excited, not even a problem with whatever else. It's when that is the desire, the reason for going into the church.

A Believer, simply put, is not going to go into a local body and find identity and purpose if their reason for going into the body is to find identity and purpose. They are sorely misled, and strongly diverted from the right track. Seeking after God's heart should be the true focus of a Believer going into a church. When a person finds the right focus on Jesus in their heart, the identity and purpose will be added to them. It isn't a matter of us knowing who we are so that we can focus properly on our purpose and Jesus. Jesus IS our purpose and our identity. If He isn't our goal, the rest will fall to shambles. If a church is preaching the
TRUTH of Jesus Christ in a responsible manner, and spreading that Truth further is their goal, then an issue of identity and purpose lies not
with the church, but with the Christ Follower in question.

A reformation is a burning desire in the heart of many of God's Children, and in God's heart too as He wants none to perish, and to that end, Christ Followers should mobilize strongly in an effort to spread Truth. Setting goals like a billion people, is, unfortunately, quite
foolhardy. Now, should we reach a billion (heck, we should reach 6.5
billion!) people with the Word? My goodness, yes. Setting goals on the
work of the Holy Spirit, unfortunately, comes across as arrogant and
presumptuous on the part of those organizing the efforts.

Church is a family. It is a place to worship an incredible, sovereign God. It is NOT an event, an obligation, or a building. The Church is the Bride of Christ. As Christ Followers, the Church is life, and to live is
Christ. Do we all need to buck up and apply what we learn? Yeah, we do. THAT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY. It is not that of Dean, Jerel, Fritz, Belle Aire, AO, RUF, or any other minister or ministry. OURS. The great commission is to Believers in general, not to simply to churches or organizations (though they are a great conduit for accomplishing it more efficiently and on a grander scale).

I'm not intentionally stepping on anyone's toes, but there is a selfish attitude aloof in the Church that needs to stop. The Church is about the identity of Jesus and God's purpose, not who we are or where we're going. That said, what should concern us the most is simple. We are at all times a witness for Christ and need to live like it. If that takes debating a point of morality (yeah, I said it), putting yourself in between an attacker and a victim, opening a door, or flat out speaking the Gospel of Christ, we need to reach everyone we know and make sure that we can be held blameless for their knowledge or ignorance of Truth.

Today, I just have to stop and think about everything I am thankful for. It's a bit bizarre this year, sitting at home getting ready to go to my grandparents' house. The first time in my life I am not celebrating Thanksgiving with my parents. All because of a silly job at Sears and the blasted Black Friday Weekend.

I'm thankful for my parents because they do provide a lot for me. They let me stay here and allow me to use inordinate amounts of water for my sauna-showers, haha. Yeah, we get pissed off aplenty, but it never leaves my mind how much they do for me.

I'm thankful for my friends. So many of you for so many different reasons, so I'm going to limit myself to four names because I'd be here for hours and lunch is at 11 in Smithville, lol. Especially to Garrett, Powers, Anna, and Amy Amonett, the four of you are consistently there for me, even when we get pissed off at eachother or you think I'm a retard. To one other who shall remain nameless, thank you for tolerating my existance and not being a jerk to me, ever.

I'm thankful for movies. Random, I know, with how serious the rest has been, but I'm not kidding. Movies and good television provide me an escape, and an escape is definitely something that I need more often than not. Most days anymore, I just want to hide, and they allow me to do that.

Music is incredible to me. I've got it pumped entirely too loudly over the surround system on my PC right now, just because I can. From lyrics, to disorder, to beautiful voices, to driving beats or mellow moods, music can be whatever it needs to be for me.

I'm thankful that there is forgiveness in the world. Sometimes it takes longer to get, and sometimes it never comes at all, but for the record, to two people I must say again that I am sorry. I am very thanful that you tolerate me, I am thankful for the times that you let me into your sphere of influence again, no matter how briefly. Most of all, I am thankful for my three friends that you brought into the world and raised into the people they are. For that, I will always, ALWAYS respect you.

I'm thankful for opportunities to be reminded of how thanful I really am. It should be an everyday thing, but so often we get so busy that we never get to sit down and think about what really matters. It is a marvelous day.

More than all else, I am thankful to my Lord, Jesus Christ, who despite all of my (many many many many) imperfections, allowed me to become a part of His family forever. I am thankful that He called me to that end, and I hate that there are so many times that I slap Him in the face through my action or inaction. He is my help, my comfort, my shepherd, and I shall not want. If only it always worked that way, haha.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I love you all. Dont be offended if you werent named. There are hundreds of names that would have been on this list if everyone I am currently thankful for were on it. :-) Know that if you are reading this, you are almost definitely one of them.

--GW

I don't know, kids. I don't know.

Gah! I cant believe that writers of LOST did actually killed who it was hinted they would, ___ ___. I am upset and excited, lol

I think that when it comes to God, we like to forget that sovereignty means absolute authority and control.

I think that is an uncomfortable thought. Not only does that mean that God DOES let bad things happen (they COULDNT happen, in fact, without His allowing them to), it really does make a lot of other issues a lot weirder, especially the question of the doctrine of election, better known as predestination.

In a discussion on predestination, a question occurred to me. If election isnt true, if God doesnt already know precisely who will or wont be saved (which, Him knowing that means that it MUST happen, which could be seen as choosing), if that isnt in His hands, then God is NOT all-powerful and NOT all-knowing. We know that God is both of those things, right? I'm not saying that I'm absolutely right, but the logic is painfully and irritatingly obvious.

So what about free will? Simple answer is that I dont know. According to Psalms, every step of our life was written out by God before our birth. That means He knows every sin, every joy, every mistake, every single thing that we will do before we even think a coherent thought. Once He knows something, that is the way it is. There are no "what if" games with what God knows, no room for Him "knowing where each of our choices could lead." To be all-knowing, He MUST know every answer already. By Him knowing it, it MUST happen that way. That means that though we have free will, we have no choice at all and we dont even realize it.

As frustrating and ego bruising as that is, I find that I dont really care that much. More than He cares for us, Yhwh desires His own glory. If it is in His plan that He is glorified by my one path, then so be it.

Darned peculiar thought process. I'm reasonably certain I intended to be in bed almost an hour ago.

Honor really is a tricky thing. There is a fine line where yours encroaches on that of another, and it's an easy line to stumble over. In an attempt to protect someone else's honor, you may end up damaging your own. You step back to take stock of the situation and mend what is broken, and you lose track of the person you were trying to protect. It's a peculiar thing, really. There's obviously a balance point, the  trick is finding precisely where it is. Only then can EVERYONE be safe in their honor.

I miss writing a lot. I keep saying that I need to do it more, but I never can get in the right zone for it. The truth is, though (and dont tell anyone in my family I said this or they'll make me do it, lol), that there is something else that I miss even more. Something that I have missed since high school, since all of the fun times in multiple areas of life for 3 years.

I miss singing. :-(

"Men of Gondor and Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of Men fails. When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when all hope comes crashing down, but it IS NOT THIS DAY! This day we fight! Forall that you hold dear, STAND, Men of the West!"

Rodney can do crazy voices too. Crazy times shall ensue.

If someone does a tool exchange, I have to give them a refurbished tool if we have them. Even if they fuss. Tehe, sucks to be them. I got the power.

That I get very much hungry by 1:15.

Fun times can be had when a cashier, MCA, and manager are all bored. Sometimes, TMI goes into effect.

Brian King can find any person anywhere, at any time.

It feels good to make a ton of sales. It sucks when you realize you aren paid commission.

And finally . . . it feels wonderful to leave to go eat a special, made-on-request dinner prepared by your highly skilled father.

A long day at Sears . . . but not too bad. But I'm still hungry. Suck.

Yeh, that last one? About 100 times worse.

I have a quote that pretty much covers it, but I cant even paste it into the body here and it is way too long to retype, which is really angering me even more. I dont know what I'm doing, and I dont know what anyone else is doing. I get to watch people around me mess up royally, which sucks, but to make matters worse I throw myself into a downward spiral worrying about them. Why? Because I bloody care, alright? Even if nobody else can get that, I care and I always will. Change is hard. Which brings me back to the CRAPPING QUOTE THAT I CANT PASTE!!! *angry face and fuming* It is too late to be up but I cant sleep at all.

I'm glad I get to hang out with my daddy tomorrow night. I am sad that I will be worried about someone else the entire time and thus probably not enjoy myself.

If nobody has figured it out, I wrote a lot in the past. Like, I actually blogged about crap that actually matters. In fact, I've tried to re-post some of that here. But of course, I couldnt paste those in either. I've really wanted to write again recently, but I havent been able to find the desire to actually sit down and do it instead of something else. I think that is another flaw of mine, other than my inability to change. My true moments of inspiration almost always come out of pain, hurt, or anger. It's a terrible muse, to be sure.

That said, I just had another quote come to mind. This one, it should come as little surprise to anyone who has read blogs of mine for at least a year or two, is from Babylon 5. I wont spell out the whole thing because of my inability to cut and paste from elsewhere, but it speaks of how much of life is built up of moments of revelation and moments of transition. If this is the case, I've had plenty of revelation without the transitions that accompany. Equally interesting is another statement by the same character that the future is always born in pain. I disagreed at first until I thoguth about it. The very concept of growing pains speaks volumes of this, that all true growth will have some associated pain. Be it physical growth, giving something up, or even being forced to watch close friends make horrible mistakes, if you take it for what it is meant to be, you have an opportunity to spring forward.

Everwood had more amazing quotes early on than much of anything else. Sucks that most of them drifted away later in the series. That is where my desired long quote comes from. Oh well.

I intended to be asleep nearly two hours ago. I guess I should go try to lay back down now since I have to get up in less than 6 hours at this point. I know some of you probably havent stuck this out, but I truly appreciate those who did. Please just pray for me. I wont get any more specific than I already have on here because that would be a bit over too many lines. So just take what you've got :-).

Finally, I have to change my answer to a question Michael Dillon asked me tonight.

YES. I am absolutely ready for school to start back, far more than ever. Apologies for saying no. :-)

that I was a pirate. That would make everything better, I think. I pirate sailing the sea. But not one of Davey Jones's pirates. They's yucky. But yeah.

Life is kinda off right now. Off being "not normal." I havent decided if it's good or bad. Parts are definitely both. Hopefully all can soon be very very good.

I dont know. Maybe it was the right path.

This day is off to an extremely bad start. It might be fixable, but I doubt it. Blast.

The answer was Lucky.

With all of your advice and such, I reached (and slightly exceded) my goal of 120 different books read in the last year, plus read one twice in that time. Grand total including the children's books I read at the wonderful suggestion of Miss Kelly Dutton is 126. Woohoo, year number 2 starts now!

There is a dog named Lucky on a farm with three other dogs. AA, BB, and CC. What is the fourth Dog's name?

Due to a counting error, I need two books more than I thought. Two books later, NOW I need 13. Darn.

I need to read at least 13 more books by June 19 (and no Powers, I'm not mocking you, it's a personal goal of mine, seriously, lol). I have 3 that are already lined up to read. Hmmm.

Be back late Thursday afternoon. Behave yourselves.

To say I am upset (not angry, just general upset) is about like saying that the day I found out how my parents created me was just mildly odd.

Pray for me please. My head is killing me, it's been a reasonably stressful week and isnt going anywhere but downhill.

Unpleasant and unhappy :-(

But hopeful, optimistic, and wishing for the best. Things always turn out okay.

Pleasant and happy :-)

I'm scared.

Does it weigh more than a duck?