I have a quote that pretty much covers it, but I cant even paste it into the body here and it is way too long to retype, which is really angering me even more. I dont know what I'm doing, and I dont know what anyone else is doing. I get to watch people around me mess up royally, which sucks, but to make matters worse I throw myself into a downward spiral worrying about them. Why? Because I bloody care, alright? Even if nobody else can get that, I care and I always will. Change is hard. Which brings me back to the CRAPPING QUOTE THAT I CANT PASTE!!! *angry face and fuming* It is too late to be up but I cant sleep at all.

I'm glad I get to hang out with my daddy tomorrow night. I am sad that I will be worried about someone else the entire time and thus probably not enjoy myself.

If nobody has figured it out, I wrote a lot in the past. Like, I actually blogged about crap that actually matters. In fact, I've tried to re-post some of that here. But of course, I couldnt paste those in either. I've really wanted to write again recently, but I havent been able to find the desire to actually sit down and do it instead of something else. I think that is another flaw of mine, other than my inability to change. My true moments of inspiration almost always come out of pain, hurt, or anger. It's a terrible muse, to be sure.

That said, I just had another quote come to mind. This one, it should come as little surprise to anyone who has read blogs of mine for at least a year or two, is from Babylon 5. I wont spell out the whole thing because of my inability to cut and paste from elsewhere, but it speaks of how much of life is built up of moments of revelation and moments of transition. If this is the case, I've had plenty of revelation without the transitions that accompany. Equally interesting is another statement by the same character that the future is always born in pain. I disagreed at first until I thoguth about it. The very concept of growing pains speaks volumes of this, that all true growth will have some associated pain. Be it physical growth, giving something up, or even being forced to watch close friends make horrible mistakes, if you take it for what it is meant to be, you have an opportunity to spring forward.

Everwood had more amazing quotes early on than much of anything else. Sucks that most of them drifted away later in the series. That is where my desired long quote comes from. Oh well.

I intended to be asleep nearly two hours ago. I guess I should go try to lay back down now since I have to get up in less than 6 hours at this point. I know some of you probably havent stuck this out, but I truly appreciate those who did. Please just pray for me. I wont get any more specific than I already have on here because that would be a bit over too many lines. So just take what you've got :-).

Finally, I have to change my answer to a question Michael Dillon asked me tonight.

YES. I am absolutely ready for school to start back, far more than ever. Apologies for saying no. :-)