So right before I woke up this morning I had this ridiculus dream about my wedding. Now let me make clear that I am not engaged nor is there even the chance of being engaged any where in the near future so why I am dreaming about my wedding I have no clue. Maybe because every one around me is getting married and talking about weddings. Any way the dream was pretty disturbing. I dreamt that it was the day of my wedding and no one would help me with anyting. I had to go pick up my dress and then go home to get ready and do my hair an makeup, but I had spent all of this time seeing in like my mom or really any one would pick me up to go over to the place that the wedding was because I did not want to have to drive my self over there and no one would. So there was like 2 hours before the wedding and I still did not have my dress or a ride to my wedding. So finally my roommate Susan was like I'll ride over with you and take your car home. We get to the dress place and they said that they only had the skirt of my dress my mom took the top to get altered and I started freeking out because #1 my dress was not supposed to be two pieces and #2 that I was sure that my mom would get it altered to small and I would not be able to fit into my dress. But they ended up finding my dress but we were so late that I did not have enough time to go and get my hair and makeup done. So we have to go straight to the wedding site and I see my mom and I start yelling at her because she wouldn't help me with anything and about the dress and then I notice that she is wearing a white dress and I get so mad because it's supposed to be my day and she is wearing a white dress. My roommate pushes me into this room but on the way I pass my future husband, who turns out to be this guy I went to college with and it is definetely a guy that I would not want to marry, I can't really stand him for very long periods of time. So then I was like what the crap I am marrying him! I get into the room and we put the dress on and the whole time I am crying. Then Susan got my friends Ellie and Maria and they came in and started to do my hair and makeup and then I woke up. The whole dream stressed me out so much that I laid in my bed for like 30 minutes trying to convience myself that is not what my wedding will be like, my mom would not try to steal my day, and I would not marry that boy. 

Well, itz over...

our West Side Story run is over...

but there wasn't any big mistake in the last show last nite (like a King missing his boat or something lol)

the cast went to IHOP last nite. which was pretty nice... now i'm exhausted cuz i didn't get to bed til like 1am but it was worth it.

West Side Story Oscars Friday 5th period. excitement! ^^

"Good-bye, you never fade in my memory
I didn't even say good-bye to you clearly
It's over"
-Ayu (Over)

You know those really bone-headed mistakes you make?  You know, the ones that you really should not have made, but you did anyway through carelessness or something similar?  Yeah, I just realized I have made one.  Somehow, with my indiscriminate spending, I forgot about paying $25 for gas last week, which normally wouldn't be a big deal, except that I had thought I would be spending the same $25 on gas to get back to Cookeville.  As it is, I have only $10 in my checking account now, but I've got about $100 waiting for me in Cookeville when I get back.  Most likely, I can get some money from Mom for gas, but I hate asking for money.  Ah, well...it'll make her happy that I'm opening up about my needs (or something like that...)

On the other hand, I've been screwing around with this sound-editing software and my old mic, as my new one is probably sitting in the TTU post office.  Anyway, by messing with different compression settings in the program, I have been able to amplify my voice without getting any of that nasty background buzz (you may know the sound...if you turn up a speaker too loud without any noise, or with a small noise, there's that buzz), thereby eradicating two flying vertebrates with one object of considerable density.  Only problem is I've been playing with it at, oh, 2 a.m., so I've been unable to give any volume to my singing.  As a result, I've had to hold the mic close to my mouth, thus giving my recordings those nice little bursts of breath whenever I pronounce a hard consonant.  Now, tomorrow, when I've got some free time, I'm going to sing into the mic from a greater distance with more volume.  The volume should be better than before, eradicating even more obnoxious buzz (I've gotten about 90% out already - this should kick it up to 95+%) and the irritating puh's and cuh's and stuh's and fuh's.  Result?  A semi-decent recording of me singing.  Then I can bitch about my tone and let people hear it and give me advice.  Anyway, I'm heading to bed.  Later.

invisible children was amazing.
I have the best friends in the world.
soccer is basically over.
school's out.
summer's here.
still not over him
it's taking awhile because I meant everything I put forth in it.
& I can't wait 'til my sister gets married.

My words will come from the heart.

And that's the best gift I think that I can give you.

Danny

Yesterday while riding to work in the kilo in the wee morning hours (yet still dark, that is how "wee wee" it was) .... I noticed that an oncoming truck had these super-duper (thanks Josh) mega bright lights on ... so, my driver being the safe person that he is .... flashed his lights ... quickly ... flash, flash, flash, short pause ....  flash, flash .... 5 times total .....

The oncoming driver, being the very intelligent person that he was, recognized the signal for what it was ... so ... he flashed his lights .... quickly .... flash, flash, flash, short pause .... flash, flash .... 5 times ... and then returned the lights back to the super-duper bright position .... totally blinding us and nearly causing us to drive into the ditch ....  communications at its best ...

So  ... what was the other guy thinking .... "yup, I can flash my lights too, duhhhh" ... or pehaps ... "yo, Adrian, how ya doin?" ... yep yep yep ... there must be an aggie in every country .....

Finally it feels so good to be down to 21 hours of school left.. I only have one class now that we are going to do any type of school work in and it just has to do dang Physics..  I love the subject and everything, but its just getting annoying working all the time in there non stop.

 Oh well..

Yeah!  Im going to look good in the uniform one day! I cant wait to get it.

One - Two- Three.

listen to Ruby Blue by Roisin Murphy because its the most crazy/amazing song on the planet.

ok so im updating. don't get over excited.

Jazz fest was amazing. I loved it and I am so planning on going next year because I loved it.

so im pretty sure I hate Mr. Cobb with a passion. I hate him, his stupid  grading system of check marks and sqiggly lines, and I hate his stupid voice and GAH hes such an idiot.

Another competition this weekend at MTSU. You should come watch and cheer. Because thatd be amazing, and itd make me happy..lol. Im sad about not being able to go to Rachels party though.

The extravagant Laura needs to give-eth me a ring-eth. Because Im losing her!!!(AND i want to borrow her ipod..ahaha im j/k.)

I had the sudden outburst to talk 90's a few min. ago. I find that to be very pathetic. lol

sara:"I feel asleep in Mr. Hall's class, I think hes mad at me."

alexanna: "No hes not mad at you, hes just joking with you."

sara: (long pause) "wait!! whos mad at me?? why?"

alex+anna loves you.

BHS soccer guys are up 1 to 0 to Cookeville in district so yea.... watch out. Regionals tomorrow for the 3200m and thursday for the 1600m and 4x800m. Pretty pumped. School is going by super fast and it is awesome. If it wasnt for running i'll be honest i would probably be the worst student ever. But it is ok because summer is almost here and with that comes Guatemala, canoeing.... wait Cookeville just scored thats garbage (but thank you Courtney for keeping me updated)....sun, backpacking, running, frisbee, and relaxation (wait i dont relax). This summer is going to rock!

hey kids,

one of my brothers (justin) and a lot of other college students are on their way to china right now. they should get there about 11:30 p.m. our time tonight. so, please pray for their safety, and that they will be able to lead people to the Lord and build strong relationships. thanks!

in Him,

Rach

Oh high school is going by so quickly..

you make friends...

you go through boys

 

and you get in sticky situations...

but your best friends help you through.

you learn to take pride in who you are...

&& you learn to experience things. even if its not what you wanted...

seasons change...

 

&& so do people.

you learn that friendship matters the most...

and without friends... you'd probly be normal.

you grow with a group of people...

 

and sometimes you get very close

but in the end its all worth it.

as we move on to our junior year...

we remember our Sophomore and freshman years with pride...

 

and know that even though we may drift from each other...

those memories are what matter most.

 

 

 

I love all of my friends at school oh so much. Sorry if I left you out...you are much loved! I cant wait till our Junior year!! We are gunna rock the school '08!! Woot woot!

In His name

Schreiba

I just dont know if I'm going to be able to last 2 more weeks of school...i just don't know. UGH!! I am OH SO READY for all of this to be over...and think about it...i only got 1 more year after this one....!....? hmm. yeah i cant wait till i can just...Spread my wings..and fly.<3

Life is a series of events...each decision leads to a new path. Sometimes it is one that we have been down before, other times it takes us somewhere new.  At times we make the decisions that we do to run and hide from the past that haunts us.  The theory becomes "if I can find somewhere no one knows me or knows what I have done then I can start over and no one will know the truth."  Unfortunately, everytime we try this, the past we refuse to confront reemerges at an unsuspected time.  The pain, hurt and regrets flood into our lives and prevent us from going where we hoped we could.  It is at that point that we try to reconcile the past only to realize that we reach those points that nothing can be done...I'm in the process of closing this chapter of my life and begin writing a new one.

In July, I will be leaving Murfreesboro and the Old Fort Wal-Mart to start again in West Nashville and the Charlotte Pike store...maybe things will change...maybe somethings will stay the same.  There are things about myself that I hope to change in the move and maybe I won't feel the need to do some of the things I do...

May 20th keeps creeping closer...
My nerves! My nerves! I'm.. wooo wooo... I just cant wait until this high school crap is over. I'm tired of being labled as immature, lazy, and a druggie.[well that last part i have to take back.. >< hehe] Yeh. I'm just ready for the mental release of having to fit in with a certain crowd, of being pressured to do other things becaise you dont want to be left out of the loop. I hate that feeling. will up date later.

So I went to Kids R Kids again today. I am so fed up with not being able to know anything. But they called Courtney today. My dad is acting weird. Like he thinks I am hiding something. He told me that Jackie doesn't go to Lighthouse. So I am seriously thinking about going back to church. But, I am going to go now. Talk to you guys later!!! To everyone who was in West Side Story, you did a wonderful job. I loved it very much!!!

Hannah

Psch.....

He was just standing there. Then he exploded, leaving only charred and smoldering furniture. It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just
blow up like that? I mean, you wouldn't think it was medically
possible, would you? It's not every day your friend just up and explodes.

NVM

Well, I guess that I did something today.  Ok Ok I guess that you got me I didn't do anything really.  My friends were mad at me though for not sitting with them at this pep rallt thing yesterday so yeah bummer.  Uuuhhh... that's pretty much all I did today.  Nothing else interesting to say but that I'm really bored right now.  g2g!  Bubi!

-Cable internet (just got it)
-Vacations (have one coming up)
-Musicals (going to see one tonight)
-Bella Optical (they just gave me the most amazing contacts ever today)
-My friends (because y'all are just awesome)

I passed Spanish, Hooray!

 I walk the line
Leave it all behind
I've been waiting forever
Lets go back in time
When I could read your mind
Still I've been waiting

It took the seasons going by
To know its not my fault

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

Yeah...I like this song

some awesome pics of me and my friend:

yup, im definantely on a timer.  like right this sec.  like even as i type this time is ticking away.  currently i have 48 minutes remaining before the evil thing logs me out.  lucky me...

Hey yall,

i am like doing a science fair project at school, which would normally be boring, but i am doing a project on Gum so i get to chew gum in class! YAY ME!!!!

okay well please comment me and i will hopefully see everyone at church Tomorrow

bye!!!

Hey guys!! At the beginning of July I'm going to the Dominican Republic!! I know how crazy is that...anywho in the DR a person makes a $100 a month=around $1200 a year. I'm going with many others to help try to finish building an orphanage that they've been building for 5 years. If you guys would like to donate money to help buy materials so we are able to keep building it would be amazing if you could. God works in mysterious ways and its so true. If you would like to donate some doesn't even have to be alot call me, find me, text me...whatever! I can't wait for July because its going to be a life changing experience and that...I can't wait!!

ok. so i just found out that my uncle won't be coming to my graduation. That really upsets me. I just got off the phone with him and I'm pobably going to go in after i turn 18 and go stay with them for a while. They want to take me to some club that one of my aunt's friends 17 yr old son plays at. That'll be interesting. i'm getting kind of nervous... In 11 days i'm graduating. ah. well I'm off to study...

...Because I now have a better answer than "Bleah." as to why I've been acting "odd" lately.  I just kind of sat down and started typing this thing in Notepad, and I now see that this's what I've been meaning to say for the past looooong time...

"...I've never been good at telling the truth when it comes to myself.  You all probably think of me as an optimistic, cheerful, good guy.  It is true that I try to be these...but only when I deem it necessary.  When do I deem it necessary?  Basically anytime I'm around other people is a necessary time.  Why do I say this?  Well, I figured it's about time I come clean.

I've always wanted to do something grand for society, be a hero figure of some sort, and I still do.  I've always felt the desire, or perhaps need, to save someone or something.  But, we live in a society where heroes, and also villains, cannot rise from the river of life.  They are instead stuck in the flow of that river, never able to go against it or get out of it.  Obviously, villains are detained by means of police and/or military force, no problem. 

Heroes, though, they're not so obvious to the typical person as to why they cannot rise; the reasons lay within the system of things.  For example, at work two weeks ago, the manager of the EB store outside the mall went on vacation, and I basically took on the role of manager to a certain extent.  This was a week that was to be spent working on a total rearrangement of the EB stores in all shapes, fashions, and forms.  I figured I had to get things done since I took on the role of baby manager, and as such, volunteered a lot of my time to get things done.  No one is "allowed" to be worked more than 40 hours in a week there at EB/Gamestop, since they don't want to pay off for more money than they have to; I did, though, and had my hours adjusted to fit into the 40 hour groove of things.  I did it because I didn't care; my job was to see to things that they got done; I came in and volunteered during my "offtime" to get things done.  Come to find out from the assistant manager, if the upper-ups ever found out about me volunteering my time, I'd be fired.  For doing the store/company a favor, I'd get fired.  What the heck is up with that?  If it weren't for me comin' in and doin' all of that, it probably wouldn't have gotten completely done in time.  They'd fire me because of what I thought would be a nice act.  Their way of doing things would have "heroes" shot down quickly.

Heroes cannot simply defeat "villains"; that's up to the police.  If some Joe-Schmoe took care of some criminal, he wouldn't "get away" with it; the police/"justice" system will probably have something to say about it.

I cannot simply volunteer my time to do any kind of volunteer "job".  Why?  Because the system we live in requires that we must have money in order to live.  Without money, we cannot buy food.  Without food, we perish.  I can't volunteer because I want to; I have to "work" for some silly company to further their desire for money.  And even then, if I work for this company and give what money I "can" give away, I still couldn't give as much as I wanted to.  I'd have to retain a good chunk of it to survive.  And I also couldn't only help people if their miseries were somehow related to money.  I can't spawn money out of thin air.  I can't just simply say, "St. Judes should have all the money they'd ever need to get the research they need to do," and have it happen.  Heck, St. Judes can't simply care for the people they want to care for and do all the research they want to do...because of money.  Because of "the economy".

Do I think we live in a world where heroes cannot rise?  Yes.  Can villains arise?  No.  Both sides are quickly dealt with in this system we live in. 

Here in America, all most people want to do is to live.  They don't want to cause trouble...and in the end, they don't do anything to contribute to the human race; they may want to, and that's fine and dandy, but they usually won't act upon it if they do think about it.  The lowly citizen, the "drop-out" stereotype, making barely enough money to live...he couldn't do anything to contribute to the human race; he's too busy being worked to death for a meager living.  He could desire with all his heart to do something, but he is chained to the system that slaves him in exchange for living, for if that chain were to be destroyed, he'd eventually perish.  Then, on the other hand, we have the affluent, those that have all the possibility to do something good for the human race with all that money sitting around.  But will they?  Probably not.  And if they do, they do it to be recognized.

Me?  I want to be a hero.  I want to contribute something great to society.  I don't want to be recognized for my work; if I do, so be it, but I'd rather it not happen.  I don't ask for much out of life; I really don't care too much what happens to me.  I want the human race to prosper, nothing else really matters.

...I was at one point in time destined to die, before I could think coherently, before I could speak, before I could do much of anything.  I was to die before I "knew" I was alive.  I was supposed to die 18 years ago of neuroblastoma, yet I still exist.  All these years of living really weren't supposed to be mine; but they ended up being so.  I was diagnosed with what's basically the deadliest of childhood cancers, but I am now "alive and well".  Why?  Why am I still alive?

...Before I go farther, does this mean I'm going to kill myself?  No, of course not.  So, those that fear that this whole thing has been written as a last thing before suicide, this's far from the case...

...Anyways, continuing from where I left off, why am I still alive?  I've asked myself this question so many times since I came upon this realization of mine.  And, quite honestly, I feel like I must do something.  What this something is, I have no freakin' clue.

...I can only imagine that this's why I've taken a liking to video games.  In games such as the Final Fantasies, especially 6, 7, 9, and 10, you play through them to save the world from destruction (or history repeating itself needlessly in the case of 10).  You end up being the hero because you don't have the worries, the complexities, and nuisances that those in the real world must put up with.  I can "be" the hero I want to be within these games.

This is why I am basically depressed with things.  I desire more than anything to be a hero, but I feel like I cannot be a hero in these times, not to mention that I have no idea what it is that I should do anyways.  I feel hopeless...

...And so, all I've been able to do for people is to put on this charade.  My charade of happiness and contentness with life...  I do what I can to instill people with hope and "power" to overcome their obstacles and to enjoy life by always being optimistic around others.  And it is with this that I sometimes even fall for my own charade and find "happiness" for myself.  Regardless of what thoughts weigh me down, I always do what I can to cheer people up and make them happy, so that they do not suffer the same depression as I do.  It's really all I've been able to do with my life so far.  Even if following through with this charade leads me to further despair, I don't care; such is why I never cared about what grades I got in school, after I started thinking like this anyway, and instead spent time with those I cared about rather than making A's.  Heck, all a bunch of A's do is get you money in the bitter end, right?

That last bit was most definitely the story of this semester that just ended with me.  Instead of doing homework I "should" have been doing, I was online playing World of Warcraft to be with my friends in spirit and do what I could to make playing the game enjoyable for all that were with me.  Instead of going to Japanese to take my oral exam, I stayed with Marissa to make sure she would be okay.  Instead of going to other classes, I didn't so that I could be with friends.

My friends are always more important to me than anything else, especially school.  I'd rather flunk school and be a college drop-out so that I could be with you all and help you all out in life than keep to myself to do my homework to get the grades to get the stupid job to get the moneys.  I owe you all so much for making my life seem better, it's the least I could do to serve you all.  My friends, you are the reason I've kept on going, the reason I haven't lost hope in all things, and the reason I won't quit searching for what it is I must do for society.  I will always be there for you all; all you must do is call upon me for help and I will give you as much help as possible.

I am a servant of the human race, and I will do what it takes to enliven it.  I just need to find how I can do so."

That was what I wrote instead of going to work today (called in and said I wasn't feeling well, which, really is a true statement).  And, really I do mean what I say about you, my friends, even those that don't care to read this.  You all have been there for me in some shape, fashion, or form to keep me from giving up completely and totally.  You all deserve great big huge hugs, pats on the back, whatever it is you think of as a sign of accomplishment. 

...My immediate family thinks of helping in life in terms of money.  They never really did help to define my character, they just threw money at me, thinkin' that just because money goes my way meant that I'll be the perfect little model U.S. citizen they want me to be...the very ideal that I cannot live. 

The other members of my family aren't so much like that, especially my grandfather in Kentucky, who's more focused and "violent" and stubborn than me in similar thoughts and ideals the more I think about it.  They're more idealistic, particularly the elders that have passed away in my family, such as my mother's mom and father's dad.  They, looking back, have really helped define me.

...But hey, I imagine you all have a life to live and have had enough of reading for now, huh?

So, keep it real, thanks again, and I'll see you all later.

My reward for helping out Saturday night ... jetlag and all ... 

GO !!!! CLASS OF 2006!!!!!!!

well after 18 painstaking years, yours truly is now officially legal! no more crap about being a 17 year old in college any longer! praise God!

and now its time to celebrate!

guess who is the new 3 yr old teacher assistant at Stonebrook DayCare!! oh yeah, thats me!!! hehe I am soo excited about this job! I cant wait to start.

Well im startin a new job tommarrow near the hermatige however u spell it makin 400bucks a week ill be back on weekends and some durin the week hope all is well later guyz

hittme up sometime 615-336-6763

THiS WEEKEND = AMAZiNG

ME && CHRiS = AMAZiNG

LiFE = AMAZiNG

so this is pretty much the happiest ive been in a while =]

Ok, so I'm at home and not at school, very bored. I think I think I'll just type until I run out of things to say.

SO I went to get my eyes checked today. Apparently it is very common for people with the same vision that I have (he didn't tell me what it's called) to get worsen over time. He said that I didn't notice any change today, but next time there would probably be some. This kinda worries me, but not to much. I asked my mom what she thought about lasik eye surgery and she didn't seem to mind if I ever wanted to get it done. It would make things easier not having to have glasses/contacts all the time. We ordered new glasses for me, yay.

I guess I should mention why I'm not in school. So I had the eye appointment at 8. Sure, I could have gone to school, but I would just be leaving at 1 anyway, and I would have missed the only class that I actually did stuff in, so I figured I'd stay home.

Anyway, on my way home from the doctor's, there was the HUGE wreck where I usually turn into my neighborhood. Like, the fire dept, ambulances, and 10 police cars were all over the place. I got a peek at two of the cars involved...yeah, it was really bad.

Right now I'm watching a documentary. I love them. Movies get boring sometimes because they all have the same story lines it seems like. I dunno, I like documentaries. This one is on the ice-man. It just started, so that's all I know so far. I think it'd be cool to get a video camera and make an independent film about something. I remember one that I watched on PBS late at night one time, it was sad. It was an animation about a very big guy, and a very little guy that lived together and what not. Well, one day the big guy got sick and died and the little one was all sad. One night while the little one was sleeping, the big one came back (his spirit anyway) and looked into the window. He came in and held the little one. I was like "aww." So the little one woke up because he felt the big one there and it was sad again. He went outside and made snow angels and just looked up at the sky (it was what they both did together when it snowed outside). It seemed like it was made for little kids, the narrorator made it sound like a little kid story, but it was still really good.

I'm leaving around 1 to go see Tyler, yay.

Ok, well I'm going to go watch this ice-man thing some more.

Man, bad things just keep stacking up in my life.  Not cool.

Yeah, I haven't had a dream in a few weeks now, but I just did.  This dream could have sucked really bad, but everything turned out alright.  I was on American Idol and had already sung a song, kicking butt on it, I might add.  Later on, they had another song for me, a song which I did not know in the least.  I cast about, looking for someone who knew the song and could help me, and the only one (God only knows what he was doing behind the curtain just off the stage) was Josh Morgan, who looked scared as piss.  But he came out and sang the first verse and chorus, then I did the second and chorus, and the crowd was ecstatic.  I would have liked to have known what Simon would have said about that little incident, but I woke up too soon.

going to the park for a picnic with mandi today.

yay.

stayed up til 2 am scanning pictures.

might even put some on here.

that's the boro's best- the clutters. check them out.

look it's jenny and the boys from feable weiner.

Watertower in the Boro. Woop.

bri double syruping it. yay ihop late at nite.

guess i'm out.

hope the clouds go away today.

have a nice day.

<3

I just heard the PS3 prices announced at E3.
$499 for a 20 gig model
$599 for a 60 gig model

holy crap thats alot

so tonight was the band concert.  my last one.  lawson presented the seniors.  i never thought i would cry.  and then i looked out and mrs chris was crying and i was gone.  i guess i just finally realized that i am really done.  no more oakland for erin.  its so wierd.  ive just kept on planning things like ill be here next year.  its like ive known im leaving.  but i didnt really know.  i think i know it now.

oh and by the way.... the ap biology test was like having someone pull your brains out through your ears.  chopping them up.  baking them in the oven.  deep fat frying them.  and then feeding them to penguins.

Alright so I need a bit of advice to pass on to a friend cause I honestly don't know what to do in this situation......my friend's dad is treating him like crap and he has a kid and decided to rent from his dad who is now kicking him out on the street......his dad doesn't seem to care that he is putting his first and only grandson out on the street along with his own son and daughter in law.......I mean I know what I would do in this situation but I also know it wouldn't be taken kindly and I might get taken to jail or something of that sort......but what would you do in this I really need some advice cause if I don't get any all I can do is tell my friend what I would do and expect him to do it since that is basically the only thing he has been given advice wise......please help......my friend really needs the help and since I always look out for my friends I really need some help........please......peace out bye bye

And so, as I continue digging out from my work backlog, Decy and I are invited to have dinner with the Indonesia Ambassador.  Now, meeting high level government officials, especially foreign diplomats is really not my style .... but, it is something I had to do.

Here in Angola, they do not have an Indonesian Embassy.  Those types of actvities are handled from the country of Namibia (due south of here).  Seems the Ambassador wanted to see how Angola was evolving/improving and wanted to meet some of the Indonesians that were here .... and we were selected to help represent the community.

Obviously (at least to Decy) my work clothes would not be appropriate for meeting such a high level official.  And so, she brought me a nice Batik shirt, which I promptly changed into in the kilo on the way to dinner. Decy was wearing traditional Indonesian clothes .... I will try to post a pic tonight.

Dinner was pretty straight forward, conversation was interesting as it was 80% in Bahasa Indonesian (Language) and I only have about 5% comprehension.  However, on a number of occassions the Ambassador spoke with me (most of the time in English) ... a very pleasant gentlemen.

Food was mixed cultures, some empanadas (fried appetizers), yellow rice, Chix Rica-Rica (Decy's spicy chix), and a french roll with a sweet sauce.  I was particularly fond of the Chix R2 .... and so was the Ambassador.  In fact, he advised I was a lucky man for marrying such a good cook .... he he he .... don't I know

this song is  wonderful. i have to sit back and listen to it.

well, the finish line is freakin right in front of me.  it seems like im getting everything thrown at me as well, to try to trip me up, but im not ganna let it get me.  im finishing with my head high.  FREAKIN 9 DAYS!!!!!!!

I am so tired. I know that I haven't been on here in awhile. But I have had a lot on my mind. I have been wanting to go back to church so badly. But, there is no one that wants to go with me. Everyone has liked backed away from church. I hate it so much. I mean I am turning away from God. That is not what I want to do. I hate the person that I am now. Maybe my life will get back on track!!!

Hannah

hmm just got to see american history x and wow its a great
but some new words to live by

"life is to short to be pissed off all the time"

 Homosexuality is biological.  If you don't believe me do some research.  It is not a moral issue.  That would be like saying autism is a moral issue.  It isn't a choice.  Heterosexuals may be quick to say it is, but would they think it a choice for themselves to be attracted to the opposite sex?  I think not.  I get so furious with individuals who quickly proclaim their dissaproval of homosexuality and that it is a sin when those individuals have taken no time to think through the issue and do some good research, both in the Bible and in the scientific world.  Please, for the good of everyone, think first.  Use the common, rational, and thinking sense that you have.  Don't just do what everyone else does or be afraid to know what you believe and why.  It would also be nice if people could accept that what works for them won't work for someone else, so they cannot expect everyone to believe, think, or behave the same.  However, I do think everyone could benefit from all people being more accepting- doing what is best for themselves and the group.  But, maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe it's better for some people to just go through life a sheep without using their brains at all.

Here is one simple article:  Lesbians' brains

"One of the basic realities of American life," [Eliza Byard of the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network] said, "is that all of us have to deal with beliefs we disagree with."   

i've been blocking out everything.
in fear of getting too attached to people and this place.

but lately i've been letting it all in.
there's been ups and downs, pros and cons,
though mostly i've been loving it.
i realize that i probably care more about certain people
than they care for me, but i'm okay with that.
it's just part of living.

k, so school is almost over, yeah for that.  unfortunately this means that most of my friends will be graduating. hmmmmmmmm.  my birthday is coming up on monday and i can't wait.  i plan to go on a long walk/run with my baby at the greenway. so yay.  yawn, not much is going on so guess i'll update later.

    So today was my first day... and it was really easy... but hey it's money.... I am working every day this week so we'll see how it goes. I apologize to Chris and Becca who stopped by to see me... thank you very much, it was nice to see you... but at the moment I couldn't talk even though I didn't have much to do... anyway I appreciated you two coming in :-)... Y'all are great :-)... I'll be there from 10-5 all week so you can stop in and see me. Have a great week everyone.

well...turned in a youth camp staff application...

just pray they love me enough to let me in..

I NEED A JOB!!! AHH!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------
well...yesterday was lots of fun...got to hang out with travis, his mom, pastor nathan, ivy, bj and angela...what a group...

twas fun...

i was able to talk to mrs. lavelle for a good two hours just about everything that had been putting me under a lot of stress lately. just being out in the middle of nowhere on 21 acres sitting on the front porch swing just talking...the only disturbance (if you'd even call it that) were the beautiful birds chirping and the wind in the trees...

you guys don't know how much that helped me...
i love being outside in nature and having someone there with me i can talk to about my experiences and also get counceling...

god blessed me with people like that in my life, and without them (god or the people themselves) i don't know how i would have survived this long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




1 Peter 3:4 (New International Version)
Instead, it should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is of great worth in God's sight.

man im so not used to this thing at all..lol..i probably wont update this very much..but just thought i would make one..

OK.  so summer is so friggin close, but first I have to do well on

school , so I will be ok on grades.... dangit. But you know I love life

right now, things are going great, I hope it stays this way.

Life is a garden ...DIG IT !!!!!

June 8th needs to get here quickly...and then the baby needs to follow.

(TWO more chances to see West Side Story. 
Tonight and tomorrow night at 7.
You'll regret it if you don't go.  GO.)

I'm going to be seventeen in eight days.  That seems so impossible.  I swear I turned sixteen yesterday.  But at the same time, looking back over the past eleven months and twenty-two days, I cannot believe how much I have changed.  I had one major complaint with my sophomore year (Well, two.  But the second was just selfishness.), and that complaint was I felt stagnant.  I didn't grow at all, I focused on all the wrong things, I wallowed in mild self-pity but at the same time I enjoyed a sort of half-baked happy complacency that left no real room for inner growth.  Comfort was my goal.  Then summer hit, along with some major introspection.  I started out my junior year with my mouth closed and my eyes open.  And this year – I can't lie, it hasn't been nearly as fun as last year.  I haven't been as "happy."  Especially around September and October - I was in a major funk then.  But in retrospect, I see how I've been changing, and how I've been changed. 

For one thing, last year I allowed myself to be so vulnerable, but rashly and foolishly so.  This year I've come to appreciate vulnerability but I've also realized that allowing yourself to be hurt just for the sake of being hurt is as foolish as not letting yourself be hurt at all.  This year I've let myself question things I always considered obvious, only to find in the questioning reassurance of their truth.  I've come to a better understanding of my place with God.  Or no, not so much my place, because to be honest I don't think I'll ever have a total grasp of that.  But I've learned about God.  He gave us intellect for a reason, he wants us to learn about Him.  He's higher than man's understanding, but in striving to know Him I've found more of a sense of wonder.  People talk so much about God, and to God, but I rarely see people just take time and listen.  He's so much more extraordinary than I or anyone else can comprehend.  One thing I've really, really learned this year is I hate clichés, especially clichés about God.  

I really have grown this year.  Not in huge leaps and bounds…I don't know the secrets of life and I still can't solve a system of equations (no thanks to Mrs. Matuszewski).  But in little ways, I've grown.  Little significant ways.  Enough to where I don't regret my lack of shallow happiness.  Because there's no true satisfaction in that.

That's my reflection du'jour.

I hope you've grown too.

I expect a birthday present in eight days.

And I love you.

Christina

Ok, I really didn't do anything today.  I went over to the high school for the pep rally and didn't see anyone I knew so it stunk really bad being over there.  I did get out of most of my classes for it though.

I haven't been doing anything lately like going out somewhere with people but I might go somewhere on Friday I don't really know.

I guess that I will go...
Bubi~

oh my, what a sad sad day for me.  i think my parents are putting me on a timer!  AHHHH, that means i cant stay on the computer as long!  what is this world coming to?  i dont want a time limit.  what happens if im working on a project and then it logs me off?  what will happen then?!  but enough about that, how are you guys?

Just for the record, I am moving to New Mexico on May 21st. So it may be really rare if I actually get on Phusebox. Just for the record.

~me

WEST SIDE STORY
MAY 8TH AND 9TH @ 7PM

  

"If you wanna marry Joe Millionaire, go ahead. If you're a celebrity and you wanna marry your high school sweetheart for 55 hours, go right ahead. If you're J. Lo, and you wanna marry 18 people, for 6 days each, hey! Go right on ahead! But if you happen to be reasonably minded and have fallen in love and wanna marry your soul mate and make a life of it, and you just so happen to be the same sex, then NO! How dare you! You demon creatures! We'd rather you just buy gasoline and support our war and continue to consume and fear in our country so we can make money off you. But do us a favor — don't hold hands in public. Love, Pink"

i soooooo totaly stole this from stephen.... oh well.... thatas my wise thought fo r the day!!!! WOOT   so what is everyone up to? me.... jus chillin @ coreys waitin to go to work.... hmmmm..... well i miss phusebox.... so leave me lottsa comments K...

~tRISH

some one PLEASE come see me @ work tonight(5-10)!!!! or wed.(4-8) night... or friday(4-11).... saturday(10am-5pm) or sunday(4-9) !!! ..........bordum!

Let it be known that this, the eighth day of May in the 2006th year of the Common Era, is the date which after 2.5 years have passed exactly, yours truly will be of official legal drinking age.

Disperse, go forth, and bear this good news to the masses.

(And a highly ironic MSN Fact-o-the-Day: Some edible mushrooms are poisonous if alcohol is consumed within five days of eating the mushroom.)

Shameless Plug!!!!
Tennessee Renaissance Festival
Every weekend in May, and Memorial Day.
10am-6pm
On New Castle Road, in Triune.
Jousting, games, food, human combat chess, and various other diversions.
$15

"If you wanna marry Joe Millionaire, go ahead. If you're a celebrity and you wanna marry your high school sweetheart for 55 hours, go right ahead. If you're J. Lo, and you wanna marry 18 people, for 6 days each, hey! Go right on ahead! But if you happen to be reasonably minded and have fallen in love and wanna marry your soul mate and make a life of it, and you just so happen to be the same sex, then NO! How dare you! You demon creatures! We’d rather you just buy gasoline and support our war and continue to consume and fear in our country so we can make money off you. But do us a favor — don't hold hands in public. Love, Pink”

Yeah, that one's sort of an inside joke with me and Leslie (whom some of ya'll have had the pleasure of meeting).

  Have any of you seen the picture of the angel I have in my photobox? It's absoulutly gorgoeus!!

  I think I freaked Abbey out today in English. She went to the Rennascance Festival (which I might go to this weekend!! Woot!) and bought a tail. You know, the kind you can hook onto your belt loops and walk around with? yeah, I told her I knew how to rig it to where she could make it wag, and she spazzed. But thats not what I'm on about, she was just sitting there and I grab the thing and started playing with it, and she squeals.

 Apparently she saw it moving out of the corner of her eye and it scared her! Ha! This one's for Chris.

mmmm......bagels.

so jazz fest was, in a word, amazing.
i had sooo much fun.
too bad it's already over...

so i think i'm going to West Side Story tonight.
anyone want to come with?
actually, i know i'm going, i just don't want to go alone.
because going alone sucks
and is nothing but a testament to my uncoolness.
but i'll probably end up going alone anyways...
oh well

[T minus 361 days and counting]

So I called the car place today, and they had to order a hub from the Dodge place, so my van won't be ready until tomorrow!  How cool is that?  I'm afraid I'm overstaying my welcome here.  I don't know exactly what I'll do, but I'll figure something out.  I really need my phone to start working again.  

I'm so excited that I have to share the news!!!! I still have my 4.0!!!! That is 110% the grace of God because I really thought that history class was going to mess me up! Before the final my average was an 85, so I had a few extra credit points and the final of doom to make it or break it. Something went right. And I am thankful for it. There is no way I'm doing this was done in my own strength. I have decided, however, that this next semester I will seriously chill out. And I want all my MTSU friends to hold me accountable to this. I want to dedicate some time to doing what I love: video production. I really want to get involved and get some experience. I plan to take 13 hours next semester (once I get my schedule changed around to what I really want) so I will have a little less stress. I also want to not freak out over every little thing. And if I make a B or two next semester, that's fine. I want to totally trust God and let Him do some cool stuff in my life. He's really given me much more than I deserve.

It's been a tumultous visit thus far, resulting in three members of my family in tears.  We're going to go pick Jason up at the airport in a bit, so that will probably kick the grand total of tear-shedders to four or five.  Things are good, though.  Dad still wants to have nice long, loud talks with me, but, on the bright side, he bought three of the Sopranos cigars (for him, Jason, and me).  I'm looking forward to them; the company that makes them (CAO) also makes my most absolutest favoritest cigar in the world: the MX2.  Anyway, I've gotta get dressed and join the family...maybe we can get some shouting out of the way before Jason gets here.  I'm really looking forward to seeing him again.

So this is my last week here at work. Bitersweet is the best word to describe it. I can't belive that it's over! I am really excited to start this new chapter in my life but really sad to see this one end. I hate saying good bye to people, I was hoping that I could sneak out with out the whole church realizing I was leaving, but they put it in our weekly update so now I am being cornered about leaving. One thing I am not sad about is leaving my acctual job, I feel like I am not really doing much of anything right now. I have like no work to do and no one has really given me anything to do so I'm just kind of bored writting on phusebox.
So one thing I can say is that I am really excited to have my own apartment and to decorate and to just have my own space. I am scared to go some where that I don't know anyone, I did in Murfreesboro and I can do it again!

well it seems that my GPA is exactly as it was b4 i started this spring semester. oh the irony. even with the D i got in A & P II. but oh well now i dont need it anymore so no harm no foul. i am crazy excited about work and stuff. AND my new apartment which i hope to be moved into by July 1st if all goes according to plan. heres hoping... but nonetheless my ankle is healing thank goodness. i have been limping around for about a week and got some very odd looks at the airport from people staring at my leg. since i was wearing jeans u couldnt see the brace on it, so people couldnt tell why i was a little off. but oh well, dont care lol. no big deal to me. but anyway 2morrow zachary comes home!!! yay!!! this has been an excellent vacation, and much needed after finals and working 80 hours in 2 weeks including said finals kinda burns a person out all at once. but im great now and ready to start the summer though i guess technically it has already started. but oh well summer class doesnt start til like the 8th of june so i have a tiny break. but anyway i hope to see u all soon. i love you!!!

oh and heres how the verdict came:
A & P II:               D
Chem 1030:           B
Theat 1030:           A
Hist 2020:              B
Eng 1020:              A

love is a feeling.

loving is a decision.

never stop loving.

Why are people so critical?  I'm not just talking about other people.  It's me too!  Why do we criticize each other?  Why do we point out other people's failings?  Why do we put other people down?  How totally arrogant is that???

Does it make us feel superior?  Does it make people like us more? Does it in some way make us feel better?

It's aweful and I'm working on not doing it!

If anyone reads this and thinks I'm talking about you in particular - I'm not.  I've just been really noticing it all around for a while now and I don't want to be like that.  This isn't directed at anyone in particular!!!

Psychology- A

Intro To Music- B

Intro Sociology- B

History- C+

English- C+

....Supposed to have a 2.75 to keep my scholarship for next year and I have a 2.89!

Yippie!!

"Does that road go somewhere?"  --The Brilliant Michael Nelson

Its been a wee bit since i have done anything on my box so i decided to type a little bit, not that anyone reads it but it dosent matter anyway. Hopefully, soon people will pay a small amount of mony to read what I have written, or at least that is the plan.

  As a matter of fact i will tell everyone about my plan.

                    Not to long ago I told my parents that I wanted to be in the advertiseing field of work. But that is not what I really wanted to do with my life, it was what I thought was a practical goal. I really wanted to be an author, but that was a dream I thought had way to small a chance of comeing true to even hope, I kept it in mind the whole time although it seemed so wrong to put myself down like that. So I told myself that I would keep writeing as I worked twords advertiseing. Lately I have been convinced though by my friends and some of my family that it is totally possible and that I should go for it. So I ditched the thought of doing any advertiseing and I am going to spend all of my energy in my book and my stories.

            So thanks to all of my friends that pushed me over the cliff of reason and into the canyon of hope.

I'm back home, a fact which I've already discussed but which carries ramifications far greater than you might believe.  To you (general you), the reader, your idea of being back home for someone who attended Georgia Institute of Technology is a far more temporary one than I have in mind and know, in fact; but alas, I'm not returning to Atlanta next fall semester.  So, you might ask what I plan to do?  Ehhh...dead space...

After all these stressful, albeit strange, happenings, the parents are relatively distraught and forthright over my not returning, amongst other things.  For a year, I suppose, I will work for monetary rewards and for the rejuvenation of a level of trust between my parents and myself.  In fall 2007, Lee?  I'm not sure at this point.  As my mother remarked, "We're just taking this one day at a time."  That we may be, but I feel a sense of other depression creeping onto the scene because of it.

While you may not care (hell, sometimes I don't) about my future, I would be remissed in most cases not to.  Honestly, though, I have no idea what to do in all this dead space.  It's like nothing's going to happen for about a year of my life: I'll be out of phase with most people I know.  Of course, I basically am already.  I've yet to gradiate myself back into the FWC crowd, especially since I want to avoid any other social infractions (with one person in particular).  My time with Turning Point is lackluster at best, and the choices for a man around here, at least to me, appear quite slim (that being a woman, as it should be).

For all this confusing angst-filled pablum, I'm probably not being very understandable.  I feel, in many ways, like everyone else is continuing on without me, while I'm stuck at Park Place paying for my bad decisions.  What am I supposed to be doing in the meantime?  Work only goes so far.  It's like I'm dead without actually being dead--or, I guess, dead to everyone I know in a sense.  People carrying on their lives, I stand while people rush around me in a blur of business.  I'm stuck with the boredom and emptiness I've had yet to experience until now, and I figure out a way to solve it...

day after the day,
i pretend that all is okay
but i can sense it,
in the back of my head
something's broken away...

and night after night
i let it go on, like it's right
but i'm condescending,
by pretending i'm not me
with all of my might......

won't you come and see me
just stay behind the line
protect yourself and your friends
because the knives
they have sharp ends

and if it's too much for you
just go and run away
you didn't have to come
so you know you
don't have to stay

where did all the smiles go
they must have gone while i wasn't looking
i swear one day we're something
but my mind was left there cooking up
some lie for me

now i'm lost and i'm broken
and no sleep reeks from my eyes
and all the blue's been taken
from my once so pretty skies

don't you see that i need you
i need you
i need you
i need you.....

photo from tracylynn



well, tracy and i went on a high class gulf coast tour a week ago, and it's just now all setting in...

we visited LSU and my friends in Baton Rouge (see above picture) as well as spent alot of time in New Orleans. it was really great to see old friends, and to find out who's married and having babies and all that jazz. (it's okay though cause most of them are older than me!) also to find out who's not doing so well and so on...
apparently there's a rumor in Baton Rouge that I'm moving there... but it's just a rumor (i think... we'll see)

my friends have very recently planted a church in Baton Rouge that i'm really excited about. ring community church

on the day we flew out we drove to Pascagoula where i lived from age 12 until my 2nd year in college. we went to my old house. the people who lived there were living in a trailer in the front yard, which is how most of the town, if they are still there, is living it seems. my house had no windows and the front door was open... so i snuck in and videotaped a skeleton of a house that i had spent all my teenage years in. there was nothing but new drywall from about your waist down... which led me to believe that was the water line.

i mean nothing. no kitchen, no toilets, no place in the corner where me and my best friend emily had written our names... nothing. i knew i was trespassing and shouldn't have been, but i didn't care at the time. later after talking to my friend jennifers parents, i realized that it was really stupid of me to just go into the house, apparently they'd been shooting people for stuff like that. oops :)

it's not the same town. i kept telling tracy how pretty it had been. I lived 1 block from the beach, and now most of the buildings that were between my house and the beach weren't there. so strange and honestly really sad.

we did have rainbow cookies from andersons and chili cheeseburgers from eds, and that won't mean a thing to most of you, but hopefully it will make Laura and Garreth smile.




photo from tracylynn



this was the bridge that connects ocean springs to biloxi. i can't tell you how many times my friends and I have driven across this bridge just cause it was fun. the brigde wasn't really even so when you drove across it, your car would kinda bounce. if you yelled or sang a note your voice would bump as well. we were easily entertained.

this scene shocked me, as did all that i saw the rest of the afternoon. the beachfront in biloxi and gulfport has disappeared. the restaurants that we'd go to for fun on friday nights are gone, but some of the signs are still there. as we were driving it hit me that so many people aren't going to be able to show their kids where "so and so happened" cause it's not there anymore. the olive garden where i had my first real "the boy pays" date, is gone. my favorite place to go during the summer of 1997, fun time USA was gone. the church where i heard my dad sing christmas music at every year, well it's only half gone. from the road you can still see the balcony and the screen above the choir loft.

anyway, it's pretty surreal and if you have a chance to, i suggest you go see it for yourself. I'm glad i got to make the trip, it was theraputic, and it reminded me over again that life is short and precious and this stuff here on earth is so temporal. and that God's grace and love are amazing. and He's about restoration.

This weekend I had to work. Saturday I worked from opening to closing. That's 12 hours people! Today I worked 6 hours...blah. Knotts Berry Farm...it's only fun to a point, lol. But hey it's money. Aaaat anyrate, I must go for I got studies to attend to...I'm ALMOST DoNe! JUST SOO CLOSE!!! Bah oh well. Take care peeps.

-Ric

I am completely obsessed with emilana torrini. She is simply amazing. Everyone listen.

Today I hung out with Kasey Brooker. She is wonderful. She just brings me to a chill level. She's a bomb!!! [ghetto black momma voice]

I want to hang out with so many people that I usually dont hang out with. Form some amazing clics, haha. like kasey and claire, yeah its gonna rock grandmother's body...

Ah yes, the ebb and flow of life in Angola ... especially with jetlag.  After doing various and asundry (is that redundant ?) paperwork on Sunday until 5pm, I finally tried to give it a rest.  So, being as Ms. Decy loves to sing .... we embarked on an evening of Karoke.

Sadly, neither of the girls joined us.  Thasya was busy doing Humanities homework and Chely couldn't peel herself away from Gilmore Girls - Series 3, which I brought from the US.  So, it was just Decy (getting 95+ on scores of 1:100) and me (getting scores of 15-65, when singing solo) ... I'm just too embarrassed when I sing solo to belt it out, which is what is required for a decent score.

After digging through 6,600 songs I found one that I wanted to do on behalf of Grandma Suzy .... you got it ... WAKE UP LITTLE SUSIE !! Of course, just like in the song, my rendition was "boring, and didn't have a good plot" .... I think I even put Decy to sleep on that one .... oh well .... at least we were together ....

For once I don't think I have any words to describe the way I feel...

I've seen quotes of the day, quotes of the week, and even a quote of the century, but I've never seen a quote of the fortnight.  This quote particularly applies over the next fortnight because it summarizes my attitude about tasks leading up to graduation:

"I love deadlines.  I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by." - Douglas Adams

+




=
4 Days till Drum Major Tryouts

I got me a new toy.  I'll give you some hints:

It takes pictures.  It takes videos.  It plays music.  It can access the internet.  It would get taken up if I had it at school.

Haven't guessed yet?

Boo-freakin-yah.

Sarah's old cell phone is now in a recycling bin.  Say hello to my new gadgety friend.  If you wish to contact me, have no fear.  The number is still the same.

This is the Dark Lord Satan!!! I will bring you all pain!!!! Well. Me and Jesus made love, that is all. it was sooo good it made my neighbor want a cigarette. well, i gotta to go cleanse my anus,

Satan

well, tonight.. we shaved carlton's legs.
its a tradition, i guess. i shaved caroline's for her.. and then carlton's tonight (obviously..)
she is officially a "big girl" =)

in the process of shaving

carlton modeling her silky-smooth legs

she is so proud.. haha

oh.
i mean...
jazzfest.
it was fun.
made new friends.
always fun.
lovelove.
stacy.

so apparantly someone drove around manchester collecting political signs, real estate signs, promotional signs and yard sale signs and put them all in our yard.  clever and amusing...nicely done.

Only two more shows and it's all over for me. tear*tear*  I'm gonna miss it so much.

well i finnaly found a baptist generals cd and im sooo happy

now i dont have to rant on about how its impossible to find a single cd.
:)

onto other thoughts

1) jazzfest fun
2) music =awsomeness
3)still looking for place to take drum lessons
4)baptist generals cd is awsome
5)NO MORE TEST FOR SCHOOL WOOOOO!!!!.

my rents say i can no longer get on myspace or phusebox cuz all that drama on th enews and stuff so email me...im deleting my whole account...its very very very sad.....

I've never been brilliant.

so crazy stuff here

1.Got a Video i-pod

2.im freakin tired

3.had a really long wekeend

4.had dance competition this weekend... it went rly good..

5.recital June 9th i believe

6.nationals (Las Vegas) june 25-july 1st

7.Alexannas Birthday-June 25th

8. going to Charleston with alexanna (july 1st- well i dont know when

9. actualy spend time with my friends for the summer

10.dads getting a new job... yay!

egh i have lots of pictures.... i am not sure when i will put them up

still no luck with a guy yet.. hmmm

oh well

love love

laura

Scenario: You have strong feelings for someone who probably does not have those feelings in return and definitely is not up for a relationship for at least the next 5-6 years.

Do you:

A: Go ahead and date other people, knowing that it will probably be completely futile because the entire time you will be thinking of the other person that you cannot be with? or,

B: Sit at home every night for the next 5-6 years in the hope that said object of affection will finally come around and figure out what you already know?

who reads these anyway?

i barely ever get remarks.

Today is a good day because it means that Trent and I have been dating officially for a whole month now.  And things are going really well with him so that's really, really exciting.  I've never been in such a happy, fulfilling relationship and so that's really cool.  Happy days. 

Oh yeah, and for those of you who have never been to a drive-in or haven't been in a long time, you guys should go....it's awesome fun!

yay everythings going soo good , gots one week left and im not doing crap soo teachers better get used to it! Go exams lol i have to take all of mine it sucks but hey what are ya gonna do? My after graduation party is awsome got a Hawaiian thing going spent butt loads of money thankfully none of my own well gotta go going to the movies.Luv yas all

Summer is going to kick face. Why you ask?

For starters, freakin' warped tour is coming to Starwood and I will be there! The list of bands so far is awesome and there are a ton more to be named. Just being able to see Emery, Underoath, Thursday, Plain White T's, Mute Math, and all the other awesome bands on the same day is so worth $40.

I'm actually gonna be making some good money this summer, whether it be working with dad, taylor's dad, or still working at the stupid feed store. Working with dad is goona be great, espcially the two weeks that Taylor's gonna be working with me. I just hope gas doesn't go up a bunch more over the summer....it's high enough as it is anyway.

Also, possibly the biggest reason that summer is going to be beyond amazing is that we're RECORDING!!!!!! I can't wait to hear how our stuff turns out from the studio once we all put our ideas and motives for the songs together and create some new music. I think I'm getting stimulated just thinking about it......mmmmm.

ok that's it.

Leave this place, go henceforth to yonder fields and frolic!