Why can't I accept that the boy-thing isn't going to happen soon, and be happy with that? Why do I always have to be wishing that there's something more going on than what there really is? I feel so much better about myself even compared to one year ago, so much more comfortable in my own skin. And I've loved hanging out with my friends this summer, being able to laugh and be stupid and not be worried that other people will think I'm unacceptable. And now I'm really excited about this marching season, not just because the music is cool and I'm actually enjoying being a section leader (so far, knock on wood), but because I'll get to be with all these awesome people so much for the next year. Why can't I just be happy with this level I've reached, why do I have to keep wanting more? It's not like a boy would make me a better person. I know deep down somewhere that I'm fine just the way I am, and it's not a big deal that I haven't found someone yet. I know the right one will come along and everything will be just great and beautiful. I know that I should enjoy each part of my life, because they're all definitely worth savoring. I know these things. It's just hard to convince myself when I see the couples holding hands, looking at each other like there's no one else in the world at that moment but them. It's hard not to want that so badly that it just destroys my happiness with whatever other great things I have. I'm trying to be satisfied, I really am. It's just hard.

It is now...15 minutes til eleven and i am about to go to sleep...an update on my life this week.

I have been outside in the heat of the day for two days already...so i am partially burnt, my hand hurts like crap from doing sabers (i busted a blood vessel yesterday and i have been roughing it today) and our colorguard as a whole this year is gonna be amazing! I really mean it.

I will be in the sun from 9 in the morning til 9 at night all next week except for lunch and dinner breaks...so you probably won't hear from me again until school starts...i hope you guys have a great rest of the summer...enjoy what you have!

[chels]

*edit*
ANNETTE FINALLY CALLED ME DUKEY! Then she tried to cover is up and say she said duke because that is my last name...but i know she didn't...haha it's just funny because she basically refused to call me that and that's prolly the only time in her life she will ever call me dukey...i'm just all smiles haha.

photo from butterfly

YES!! Misty (my best friend in the whole world) get's back into the US tomorrow!! I can't wiat!! Just to hear her voice after over a month of silence will be fantastic!! I am SOOOO excited!! I miss here like crazy!!

So, first phusebox post! Very exciting...I forgot my username for a while after I made it, so this is the first time that I am really here! It's nice to have a new place to write. I really don't write much on the xanga I have, so this should be good. I like that you can put photos too. Someday I will scan in some more, but for now all I have on my computer are the pictures from my birthday/engagement party. Fortunately they are some of my very favorite!

Tomorrow I am doing the first nursing thing I have done all summer, and am shadowing a nurse practitioner for a day. I babysit her children a few times a week, and she had said when I first started watching them (in November) that I was welcome to come with her to work whenever. Tomorrow will be the first time I am going...I hope to go a couple more times before school starts, if all goes well. I am pretty intimidated. She isn't by nature an intimidating person, but I have a lot of respect for her and I feel like I don't know much when she asks me nursing questions and I draw a blank. It will be good to get a little bit of experience this summer...maybe I'll get to give a shot! :-) Off to bed now; if I'm giving shots, I owe it to the patient to be well rested and as prepared as possible. Goodnight all!

Oh my goodness. Tomorrow I'm going to D.C. to see the grands. Parents that is. Well I have to get up at 4:15 in the morning to catch a 5:25 train. Wow it will be fun. I'm going to sleep the whole way. But the great news is that when I get to D.C. there will be a 2002 Jaguar X-type waiting for me to hop in and take it for a three day spin. Tell me that's not sweet.

AHH HELP!!!!!

i made the high school baseball team :)

ouch i ran... not walked RAN into corey in the gym in the dark and my elbow has a knot where i rest it on the arm rest but anyways ya camptosay way to hot to be out there marching but o well live goes on mmmmmm the whole band coupeling thing is slowly begenning everybody is like well i think blah balh blah and im like shut up i hate you so ya CAMp.....

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference


Robert Frost

OMG, I love this poem. It is so lovely and deep. Anyway, Texas is hot as usual. But I love it still. Dallas and Allen are like the best ever. There are so many upscale stores here and I love it so much. Tomorrow we are going to this awesome little village, it looks really French and there's a Dior and everything. I love looking at all the clothes even though I could never afford like anything, haha. Well, I'm gonna go guys. Hope your all having fun where ever you are!
-Dana :)

Yah so I get sucked into MTV reality shows. I jsut watched the most recent episode of the Real World Austin. Danny's mother died. I cannot stand to see people cry, or I cry along with them. So, yah, now I am crying. Being emotional can suck.

Cara, I am really sorry if I said anything that offended you. I do not remember saying anything that nasty about you. If I vent to someone about you or anyone, I watch what I say and how I say it. Please don't be mad at me, or at least talk with me about it. Thank you.

Wow. Been a while since I've updated. Uh, let's see... I'm in Texas as of right now. Should be back on the tail end of this week.

I love hanging around my familiy down here (We're visiting my aunt and uncle and cousins. Mark, 17, and I are really close, and I'm also really close to my other cousin Allison, who's 20.) but I miss my M'boro/Belle Aire crew. I'll be looking forward to going to my own church again.

I'm too lazy to write anything of any great magnitude now, but I'll think of something soon. You know me. I can barely go a whole conversation without trying to slip some deep topic or idea in. Unless, of course, I'm on a green tea buzz.

:)

For those of you who went, tell me about the Paint the Town trip. I won't be there Wednesday, so fill me in a little, if you want.

Soooo. Shopping. Not as bad as I thought. Unlike me, my aunt is not ashamed or embarassed or hesitant about anything. She kept saying "What about this? What about that stuff on the walls? We'll get someone to get it down for you."

I hate making the people get stuff off the walls.

But it totally paid off.

And the guy at Pac Sun who got stuff down for me and got me my dressing room was really awesome. He kept checking on me to see if I needed a different size or different color or whatever. Really put me at ease.

You guys... I swear... my shopping anxiety... is INSANE. I really don't see how anyone can find shopping relaxing.

NEWS FLASH: Feel free to call me a commercialist whore. I purchased not one, but three clothing items from American Eagle. Feel free to stone me to death now.

The final count: 2 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of kick-ass kakhis, 2 camisoles, 1 long sleeve shirt, 1 button-down overshirt/blouse/thingy.

This weekend: t-shirts and accessories. I know... the thought of me accessorizing is insane. But I'm going to give it a shot. Hopefully Jane will help me make it not-fugly. [Michacco too if he still wants to go with us.]

ANOTHER NEWS FLASH: I can hear again! Dr. Tuma said that I just managed to cram a bunch of chunks of hard wax up against my eardrum and it was preventing it from vibrating properly. He sprayed it out of my ear with warm water. That was THE MOST PECULIAR sensation in the world. A jet of warm water spraying your eardrum.

I won't tell you the exact details of what got sprayed out, because frankly, earwax is the single most disgusting substance in the known universe.

BUT I CAN HEAR! YAY!

For the first five or ten minutes I kept flinching at any semi-sharp or loud noise because I'd been almost half deaf for three days. I'm very very VERY relieved that there is no permanent damage.

ONE MORE NEWS FLASH: It's official. I'm everyone's favorite in JROTC. Except for Mark's. But that actually makes it kind of hilarious if you ask me.

[[He got kind of ticked off when he was trying to talk to me about what to do with the freshmen this week at mini camp and his ex-girlfriend waltzed over and sat herself right in my lap. *dies laughing* I love Amber.]]

cool springs rocks.
especially when you have the most wonderful people in the world with you.
well claire wasnt there, but the other wonderful people.
ahahaha

well duane told us to go around the mall
and get pictures with as many hott guys as we could.
because we were all mopin
cause we didnt have our own guyss with us.
so that's what we did after we got bored from shopping.
our goal was ten & we got ten, maybe more :D
ahahahaha.

so you guys rate them. 1-10. ahahaha.
man I had a great time.
glad I went.
< 3
Jaaaamie

today my and mom got lost in smyrna on the way to michael's but the pictures from there will turn out really good (i think) and they were fun cause we dont intend on buying a ton of them!!!

later, we came home, and then we went to cingular and i bought myself THE MOTOROLA RAZR!!!! oh my gosh! its the cutest phone ever and i love it!! yay! i am really really excited!!

loveyou_bekah

blah.. blah.

went out to eat with my sisters. we went to
camino real, then far-east and went to
campus and met my mom at a picnic table
and ate the food there. it was really fun. we
made fun of erica's rash (hahah)

then we went to target. shelby smith was
there. we talked a while. she's dating corey
drake (weirrrrddd) i got a fred is red wallet for
A DOLLAR. word. then i saw jessy R with her
dad and little sister. her sister kept showing
me socks. a little annoying...

some hott guy thought i was stalking him.
(too long to type) but it was really funny

my sister listens to alot of obscene rap.
LUDACRISSSSS is funny. and tom
green "daddy, would you like some sausage?"

Silas Marner should die.

abby

“Poetry is sane because it floats easily in an infinite sea; reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite...The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.” - G. K. Chesterton

I am so not ready to leave here. I know I am coming back in short order, but it will not be the same. It is the whole experience and people and surroundings. It won't be the same coming back here by myself or with different people.

so i'm playing the pic now... or at least i hope i get to. i'm ok at it, i guess, i'm sure there's someone out there better suited for it than me.

first day of precamp was yesterday. i liked seeing everyone, but i can tell this is going to get old, fast. i'm sad to say, i'm actually looking forward to doing drill. plus tonight's sectionals and we all know how that goes with two old people who play clarinet and sax more than flute. fun times up ahead i tell ya...

anyways everyone else have an awesome rest of the last week of freedom!!

Music, it's like a small glimps into heaven... like what you see when you look out the window, ya know, you can't see all of it, heck you can hardly see any of it, but it's still that little bit that comforts you, reminds you there's something else other than right now... so I guess that makes me a window....

Gloria Patri
Nathan

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pre camp this week... we learned a sabre routine today... its really cool!! but its way way way hot outside!!!

im gettin myhair cut friday morning!!! ahhhh i cant wait!!! i am gettin like 3 inches cut off then get it thinned out then get it layered then get bangs... like the swooping bangs!!! eek im soooo excited!!!

im goanna start going to northside baptist church!!! they have a awsome youth group!!!

im prolly goanna start using this more b/c im sick of xanga!!!

Well I went to go see Conan and I made the first cut, but then there was a second cut and I didn't make that. So there it is the sad story of the day. On a happier note tomorrow mornig I'm leaving for D.C. to visit my grandparents. I'm thinking of heading back early and givin' Conan another swing. Except this time I'll be there at 4 in the morning instead of 7.

reading about nathan and rachel's date totally gives me the warm fuzzies. (congrats guys, it is awesome to be able to date your best friend!!) chad and i met in college at a time in my life when God was doing some awesome things in my heart. before i met chad, i made a commitment to the Lord that i wouldn't kiss another guy until my wedding day. i know this sounds totally crazy and totally lame, but i truely felt God prompting me to this decision. I knew His judgement was way better than mine. all i had to do was look at my track record with relationships, and know i obviously didn't have a clue what i was doing. i was so excited when chad asked me out, but then almost immediately nervous. i knew i had to tell this really cool guy about my commitment to the Lord. God is so awesome, and long story short, chad totally supported me in my commitment. God is so good, and works all things out for the best when we give up control. i am so happy to tell you that chad and i dated and were engaged for a total of about 2 years, and we didn't kiss until our wedding. It was one of the coolest accomplishments that God has done in my life. It was all HIM!! I give Him all praise and glory. He has given us such an awesome story. Taking the physical aspect out of a dating relationship leaves lots of time for communication and truely learning about the other person. just something to think about.

AEheartsYOU42205: youd make a hott hitch hiker

I leave my summer retreat at Princeton University this saturday. It's a sad time :(

More about that later... time for FOOD!!!!

soo yeah.
i got this phuse box.
dont even really know how this thing works.
but it seemed to be one more thing to entertain me.

What is the air-speed velocity of a cocnut laden swalow?

IM HOME!!! YAY!!!
God did some amazing things in New York City this week!! im sooo happy i got to be apart of it!!!
we went to NYC to paint a school called Thedore Roosevelt High School...250 college students...1 floor of a school...a couple hundred gallons of paint...was Paint the Town!!!
we got to help this school basically....they have the highest drop out rate in NYC...they have 20 cops that patrol tha school everyday...metal detetors...soo everyone please be in prayer for the students and teachers that work and go to that school!!!
we also got to prayer walk on college campuses...
New York City:
191 college campuses
1 million college students
1% claim they know Jesus Christ
wow that is a lot!!! sooo if everyone can keep New York City college students in your prayers thanks!!
my church group got to pass out flyers one day to help promot tha Block Party on afternoon...i loved passing them out!! i loved tha look on the lil kids faces when they got free gum and a chance to come play games and eat for free!!!
when we 1st got there at tha beginning of tha week!! tha dorms we stayed in didnt have AC at all!! but of course by tha next day they moved us to new dorms that had AC!!!
i love New York City...im soo happy i got the chance to go!! i had a blast w/ my church group there!!!

O Christ, be the center
of our lives
be the place
we fix our eyes
be the center
of our lives.

Love Through Christ!!!
Rachel

photo from browneyedgirl_88

This Is Ms. Hoffstetters house.. for those of you kids at BHS that had her..
very cute house i might say.. with a cute little blue tin roof..
lovely.



photo from browneyedgirl_88

and these are the flowers that Ms. Hoffstetter has around her house.. hah kaylie and i went on an adventure to her house..
she lives wayy out there..
for those of you who care.

hello to anyone that reads this.
i like this phusebox thing...mainly because pictures make me happy. hah and because i like to copy amanda.lol.

Enrollment for school = GAY. and thats all i have to say..

that rhymed.

haven't washed my hair in 3 days. not going to for a while, ither. i like the way it looks.

i'm think i'm almost 100% better! i feel tons better today, and i can talk (!) so you can call me. and.... um....

kasey's on a Fine Arts trip. so i can't see her... all week. poo. so i guess i should be the social butterfly i once was and call my other friends. now that i'm better and all.

LOVE LOVE

Since i have been home, i think have been able to look at myself in at different light! Before i went to passport i thought i knew excaltly who i wanted to be! But when i got home, i looked at myself. I don't wanna b the skate shelby anymore cause it wasn't me! I losted myself through the passed year. And I am just starting to figure out who i really am! But now i think might have a idea of who i wanna be! But i don't think anyone will ever really know who they are. Exspeaical when there 13!!

I am finally home! As glad as I am to be home, my week at Paint The Town was incredibly awesome! I never knew what a blessing painting a school in the Bronx could be!

There were some fun times... like Belle Aire people hanging out in the Prayer Room... jamming out to the live version of "Take My Hand" by Shawn McDonald excessive times in the van... hanging out at the Bronx Starbucks... going to the Brooklyn Tabernacle and encountering God... There were some scary times... like getting lost at the Bronx at 1:30 in the morning... And there were some times I did not feel like serving, like at the Block Party and the last day of painting.

All in all though, it was a great week! I have so many stories and so much to say so I don't know what to specifically point out! Be sure to browse through my pictures and feel free to ask questions about my trip and I'll be glad to answer them in my next post. I think the greatest thing God revealed to me is that He has such awesome visions and plans for my life is I am willing to listen to Him for them! The whole week in NY and then on Sunday at The Point Church in NJ the speakers kept talking about Nehemiah and God's vision to us... I think God may be trying to tell me something here! I'm still praying about possible future opprtunities...

Here's a few of the new pictures you'll find in my photo box from this week:



photo from SingAHappySong



photo from SingAHappySong



photo from SingAHappySong

*EDIT* Ah yes, and I failed to mention the lack of air conditioning at the beginning of the week... but I am sure you will hear about that from the others... God definitely tested us at the beginning of it all... and it all worked out for His good...

section3.net/natalie

Nothing was happening fast enough with the law firms to suit, prompting me to set my sights on ye swanky Shoney's.

So I start training on Thursday, and begin to exploit the food service industry for my own ill-gotten gains. I'm actually kind of excited and nervous. I've wanted to be a server for the longest time [well, two-odd years], and since I've been involved in theatre at least ONCE in my life it's kind of mandatory. I'm just afraid of messing up in a big, bad, blackballed-from-society-as-a-whole, half-the-restaurant-charred, anarchy-and-chaos-everywhere sort of way.

But it's a job. And it's money. So until I inadvertently destroy half of Murfreesboro whilst on the clock, I'm really quite happy and shall suspend worry. If you're really cool you'll come visit me and be nice. If you're SUPER cool, though, you'll turn in an application as well. So we can both destroy half of Murfreesboro. Not really. I'm just rambling, taking up space....

Now I just have to find a bunch of stuff so as to blend in with the rest of the workers. I'm thinking of raiding the Old Navy girls' school uniform department. Does anyone know where you can find short-sleeve, button-down with a button-down collar, most importantly WHITE shirts? I'd steal one of Dad's uniform work shirts if they weren't.... Uniform work shirts [And about 20 sizes too large].

Still rambling and taking up space....

Not no' mo'! {Exeunt}

Have you ever wanted to stand on top of a mountian and scream HELLO WORLD!?! Well I want right now but the best i can do is sit here with my laptop and say Hello. How is everyone? I just want to share a little bit with you about my morning. I rose at the hour or 6 a.m., yes, 6 a.m. It was only five hours earlier than I uasually wake. So it wasn't tough at all. Well the reason I got upu this mornig was to stand in line to try and get a standby ticket9 which doesn't garentee entry) to The Conan O'Brian show. We got to the line( after a very needed trip to Starbucks) at 7. Their were tos of people in front of us so I got a little depressed. Well while my friends held my place in line i went and saw my friends Katie,Matt, and Al on the today show. When I got back to the line we still had an hour to wait. We wait then around 9:30 wwe got a little blue paper with a number on it, so we have to go back to see if we get in. I'm number 46 little did they know that's my lucky number!!!!!( not really I don't have one)

Ok well My plan is to one day go to mya's and we can take more pics and have fun and stufs so well I have to ask about it but hopefully we can do it sometime this week... ok? well anyway gotta go get dressed and then go to my grandma's -shivvers- well BYE!!!

Will someone please invent a telaportation device.....I would really like to be in Atlanta tomorrow......Warped Tour '05.....with all the greatest bands ever... oh the sadness.....ha

you never know....

Pre camp started yesterday......I think it went well. I like helping the midgets learn how to march. And our music sounded really cool when we put it with the percussion parts, especially "II." Anyway, that's all, because I have to go work out now. Bye!

heyyy guys. well, it's seems pretty tarded to have like 3 online journals, especially since i hardly keep up with the first one, but i made this anyway cause i'm nosy and like to see what you guys are doing. haha. well you should mo def leave me tons of comments anyway!

bear w/ me on the photos. middle eastern satellites aren't quite up to par. about a pic a day is all i can upload w/o getting kicked off the net. $40 measly bucks for cable internet doesn't seem quite so bad anymore. it's probably even cheaper than that by now. 29 days till my 2 wk leave!! i'm stoked! i can't seem to remember what it's like being at home. i'm sure it'll be better than i remember. first stop is starbucks for an irish cream breve! i tried to explain to haji man what a breve is. it didn't work out too well. after we went in circles for half an hour i gave in and got a macchiato, which tasted more like a mocha w/o any foam or whip. arabian coffee is supposed to be some of the best in the world. these guys are really slipping. being a coffee enthusiast (addict) myself, i am sorely disappointed in these people's sad attempts to serve up a good cup a joe. however i am thankful that on occasion i have access to any kind of coffee house, especially considering my environment. i should be counting my blessings for the coffee i do have..........or just making it myself. enough about coffee and now my fingers are tired. tonights selection is David Gray: A Century Ends one of my favorite albums by him. check it out if u get a chance. "wisdom" is one of my favorites. doesn't deliver the best message in the world but still a good song. Laters

Hey everyone what up me not much just being bored but went to club last nite it was awesome and am going bowling wed nite again it will b fun I am working all tha time but yea thats it 4 now peace
--Curtis--

lets see here...went to bed late last night and woke up to a ringing phone this morning...Nic called and said he just got back to town and so he did what he had to do and then came over here and we just talked for like 2 hours...it was fun! I'm so glad I got to see him today.. its a first in almost a week and we dont talk all that much..but he's been really busy so i forgive him... then tonight i went to work and it was jus me and mandi and lee and lee...that was fun..it always is..i like workin with them....then i got off work and went to meet Meag...and ashley and dj and blake were there but i didnt know everyone was there till i got there...then meag and dj came over after we dropped off ash and Nic met us here too...then they left and me and Nic chilled in the hot tub (it was WAY to hot for that outside, i dont know what we were thinking) and then we came in and started to watch Man of the House but we started to fall asleep..well he did...so he went ahead and left so he could make it back okay tonight... He gets to move back to town on Aug. 13.....i cant wait! I really miss him being gone so im so glad i got to see him today bc who know when i will again... Well yeah so i dont work again till Friday so if anyone wants to do anything this week then jus call me!

MY RACHEL IS FINALLY HOME! I MISSED HER SO MUCH!!!!!

raise your hand if you are going to use sparknotes anytime soon for your summer reading......:my hand is up:

Did you know there are days where I feel horrible about myself but I think of you and it's all better?

Did you know there are nights where I cry about anything but I think of you and it's all better?

Did you know there are times when I miss people so much it hurts but I think of you and it's all better?

Did you know there are times I feel I have no more strength at all but I think of you and it's all better?

Did you know there are times I am so mad I can't even think straight but I think of you and it's all better?

Did you know that I love you more than anything in the world? Of course you knew...you know me through and through...you know every thought that runs through my mind...you know me better than I even know my self. I'm glad I can think of you and it's all better.

eliz

So i take it back, the band doesnt sound that bad, we might pull this off, and it sounded like the freshman are doin a pretty good job, so coo
see ya tommorow

Jordan


Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Scar Tissue


Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view

Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin' all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health 'cause
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...

Blood loss in a bathroom stall
Southern girl with a scarlet drawl
Wave good-bye to ma and pa 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view

Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn's sweet we call it fall
I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl and
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...

Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...

Uh hi. Gini Faulk made me make this account so i dunno if il be using it but if ya wanna hear about my life go to my xanga. Peace

~Sonny~

* hey guys, not too much new going on...

*yesterday i ran into my former best friend (who i still consider one of my best friends)... who i haven't really hung out w/ in a year... i mean i've tried to call her... and she was always busy w/ dance practice and play practice during the school year... so i wrote her a note and she wrote one back saying that we needed to get together... i went to her play... and called her after that... haven't heard from her since. but we decided to hang out on Wed. i'm so nervous. you guys have no idea the way i feel about her... she's like my sister... and even tho we aren't as close... not a day goes by the i don't remember our times together. and i'm finding out that she feels the same way. it's crazy. i really can't wait to just sit down and talk to her... see what God's doing in her life... see what all's going on. i can't wait :o)

*so i'm beginning to learn more about myself as a girl... you know... i'm not one to sit down and explain or think about how i feel about love.... like.. i dunno... i'll talk about what i'm looking for in a man... and what i think love really is... but i've never really thought about what i as a girl need... or feel i need. guys need respect from love... the kind of respect that isn't always deserved... i mean.. guy don't need to be told that they're jerks.. most of them already know that... but they need for their woman to stand behind them. to cheer them on. girls need to be adored... that's a desire that each one is looking for... we just want someone to be captivated by our beauty... inward and outward. we want our men to just be absolulety satisfied and overjoyed that we are theirs and theirs alone. we want to have their full attention. men need to be praised for their accomplishments and character... and even tho we do too... we want to be praised as mothers and wifes.. we want to be praised for looking pretty or smelling good. we jus want to be considered beautiful. and i know that so many of us don't believe that we are when guys to compliment us... and guys, you have to be understanding... b/c so many of us have been lied to about it... we've been hurt by people who knew how to use our desires for their own gain... who loved themselves more than us. . we've been sweet talked too many times to count. there's girls out there that have lost the one thing most precious to them... the one thing that's really theirs b/c some boy said he loved her. we doubt that anyone can ever really love us for who we are and how God made us. we've built up walls trying to protect our hearts...

**but you know what girls, it's time for us to let God heal us... it's time for us to let HIM think we're beautiful. it's time for us to let God have all our fears of being played again... of being rejected again. it's time for us to trust Him w/ our love stories. it's time to let Him show us that there are godly guys out there that want to love us like Jesus loves the Church. girls, don't forget to wait for God's timing... Rachael is always telling me "God is faithful when i am faithless." Amen, sister. Amen.

i just got home a little while ago. it was a great trip! i was the photographer for the week at paint the town. i enjoyed doing that sooo much! everyone worked very hard and did a great job! especially the belle aire group that definitely "prayed" a lot in the prayer room! i enjoyed spending time with the moore family. they treated me so kindly. God showed up there in huge ways. it was amazing to take pictures of all of the students worshiping our God and serving Him.

and the highlight of my week:


photo from rachael

first date with nathan! it was amazing! best date i have ever had! God has been so faithful! this story has been one long in the making. a lot of waiting and trusting God. nathan and i talked about our stories of God working in our lives to bring us to this point. God IS FAITHFUL! This story is so amazing and only could be written by our Creator. Praise God for His faithfulness and may all this bring glory to Him! nathan's post on our date was great, so you should go check it out along with the MANY pictures he took. but i do want to say that he treated me like a princess. we got picked up from his apartment, went to a fancy italian restaurant, then to a great little cafe, then to the brooklyn bridge with the beautiful city as the backdrop. just like a movie. he is amazing!!!

but i didn't get a lot of sleep on the trip, so i am going to bed. tomorrow is my only day of rest until next week sometime. i have to work wednesday, then i am leaving to go to delware thursday. busy busy. i hope everyone has a great night!

well im excited cuz im supposedly gettin my permit 2morrow even though i was supposed 2 get it along time ago but all this dumb shit started happenin. but i hope i get it 2morrow! anyways.... so im still lookin 4 a job even though i really wanted the ritters job they dont want me so im sad. my lifes been pretty borin lately xcept ive been goin on total shoppin sprees! ive been hangin out with jacob and this kid matt theyre wierd but theyre cool. well nothin else is on my mind xcept I MISS HOME

JeSs

photo from Ed_The_Angry_Jew

i think i need to own this shirt. haha, captain oats is my hero!

in other news, band was boring.

im freezing.

and i need some sleep. (so does grace, but whats new?)

anyway:

are you a democrat, republican, or other?

mm.. i loveee summer =)

photo from browneyedgirl_88

i love alyssa.. hah.



photo from browneyedgirl_88

and occasionally shawn.



photo from browneyedgirl_88

and i def. love curly and kim all the time.



photo from browneyedgirl_88

Chris loves anna though..



photo from browneyedgirl_88

and i love my razor and shaving cream.

eeek.

[x] they call me:Ashton
[x] also: Ash
[x] sex:female duh..
[x] my first breath of air: December 4th
[x] age: 14
[x] occupation: umm..student.
[x] best homegirl[s]: all of them..
____REWIND____

[x] most memorable memory: theres alot.
[x] worst?: prolly when my parents did this whole divorce thing..
[x] first word uttered: i got NO idea.
[x] first bestfriend ever!?: patrick and mick..

____FAST FORWARD____
[x] wedding: in the fall..outside..big wedding with lots of flowers and a big poofy dress.. OH AND A HOTT HUSBAND ;)
[x] children:umm..idk??
[x] looking forward : to school
[x] NOT looking forward to: umm..idk..havin to get up early again..

____PLAY____
[x] feeling: BORED!
[x] Listening: grant talkin about some crazy thing he did..or somethin like that
[x] Talking: to scott and grant and lindsay
[x] doing: this survey
[x] craving: double fudge brownie ice cream yumm..
[x] thinking of: how crazy the stuff scott is sayin is..
[x] hating:umm..oo that its not tuesday..i gotta know what happens on real world lol im such a dork :)

____LOVE?____
[x] love is: fun..until it gets complicated lol
[x] first love: read the question down there..
[x] love or lust?: love
[x] best love song:umm..idk..
[x] is it possible to be in love w/ more than one person @ the same time?: umm..it could be..
[x] when love hurts, you: try n get over it..
[x] true or false - all you need is love: could be both..
[x] have you ever been in love?: idk..maybe..idk if i know what love is yet..
[x] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: ya..

____THE OPPOSITE SEX____
[x] turn ons: a great smile.. tall..um easy to talk to..sense of humor..
[x] turn offs: when they get attached..like majorly attached..to the point where its obsessive..and thats not fun
[x] does your parents' opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: not really..i mean i dont want them to hate the guy..but if i like them they can get over it
[x] what kinda hair style?: depends on the guy..

[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?:lots of things..
[x] are you the type of person to holler n ask for numbers?: oh definiftly..jp idk it depends on the guy..
____PICKY PICKY____
[x] dog or cat: dog
[x] short or long hair: on me long..guys..HOLLISTER MODEL HAIR!! lol
[x] innie or outie: innie
[x] sunshine or rain: SuNsHiNe!!
[x] moon or sun:depends
[x] basketball or football: football
[x] righty or lefty: righty
[x] hugs or kisses: it all just depends lol
[x] tv or radio:radio fer sure..
[x] mc donalds or burger king: mcdonalds
[x] summer or winter: summer
[x] written letters or e-mails: written letters..i

Thanks to everyone who helped out last week at Paint the Town in the Bronx. It was a successful week. We hope to see all of you again next summer!

Photos will be uploaded soon to this PhuseBox.

Hey this is Megan!!! I decided to write an entry for Lauren cause she didn't want to and I was looking at her pictures and was like HEY I WILL MAKE AN ENTRY FOR HER!!! Anyways just wanted to make an entry on here cause you know I just did!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TARA *7-31-90* AND BRYNA *8-1-90* WE LOVE YOU BOTH BUNCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Megan! and I guess Lauren too!!! lol JUST KIDDING!!

THANK YOU JESUS!! I AM BACK!! So I'm nice and tan...well except for my retarded face...it makes my cry...well not alot has happened...I mostly work alot...basically because no one loves me...Just joking!! I know you guys love me!! Part of me is excited about school but I'm nervous!! Peace and Love

Hot flashes?
Confused?
Forgetful?
Dont worry your too young for menopause.

I love driving.
Its like you're part of the car.

Do you enjoy school?
I dont...

Fresh step cat litter has wierd cats.
I've never seen a cat raise its hand like that.

Im getting writing ideas from the tv.

Raven was funny when she was little.
Oh The Cosby Show.

9 Olivias.

Im out. Leave comments on the... statements.

- J 4 ( () 8


- edit

TIME FOR THOSE PICTURES! I have to get then from my dads office computer since the cord is up there with the software. Im gonna have to do it tommorrow. I also have to turn in my Application. Yea I know Ive been forgetting. Im so thirsty. I'll be your best friend if you leave a comment...

Miriam-Webster Dictionary:

Main Entry: soul mate
Function: noun
: a person temperamentally suited to another

Does anyone believe in soul mates anymore? Does anyone believe in signs from above? I’m just curious and I’m just venting but hopefully someone will respond to this with an answer that they have come up with on their own.

What is the definition on a ‘soul mate’? I believe that everyone has their own version of how they believe this term to be defined. I have my own. At least what I thought I knew to be mine. First and foremost, I believe it to be a God thing. He is the one that made a special someone in my opinion for everyone He has created. A perfect, well at least our version of perfect, match for every last human on the planet. Feel free to disagree with me, but I will not be moved from my viewpoint. I believe the first reason to be enough of a definition to me, but I have others obviously though I’m not sure how to really put them into words. It’s just a feeling I believe in the pit of your stomach, in the bottom of your heart, in the back of your mind, in the very being of your soul, that you know who that person is. What’s sad is that some people don’t believe in this at all. This saddens me, but I cannot change their minds, and they are free to have their own opinion. This is long and I’m sure people think this is pointless. Honestly, I don’t care. I needed a place to vent and get people’s feedback on their beliefs and this is the best place that I can find to do that with okay!

One last thing before I give up and go to sleep. Do you believe in signs from God? Do believe that if you ask Him to reassure you that you’re doing what He wants, and you’ve flat out asked Him, He will answer you in a way that you completely understand? A ‘sign’ if you will. Would you take this sign as an actually one or as merely a coincidence? Analyze the situation to the point that you believe that it wasn’t supposed to be taken that way. Who knows, I may be way off base here, and most probably don’t have a clue what I’m talking about but that’s fine. Just please hear me out I’m almost done. You should take to heart what God has said to you. No matter what anyone else says to you. You know better than anyone what He has or hasn’t done for you. I understand that what may be said to you may be completely different than what was said to someone else using the same ‘sign’. Still, don’t try to analyze something not there to be analyzed, only accepted.. I know I lost a lot people if you have made it this far, I love you with all my heart and soul! Thank you all much.

-Ashley

I think..
Thats it.
I think, therefore i get a headache.
hahahaha, I'm sooo funny and i can't spell. So i went to another dentist today and already i am scheduled for my wisdom teeth to be taken out on friday.. *oh goodie* Whatever will i do without them? Will i become stupid? Of course i'm not exactly what you would call brilliant in the first place. I've always wondered why in fact they call them your widom teeth.. anybody know?
-------- booga ---------
Only 8 more days until my birthday!
*yeah baby*

Day one of band camp...actually not too bad (although I think I smell bad right now)

No really good stories yet...

YEah so haven't upadated in a while and I really don't know what to right about school starts in about 2 weeks and I am definitely not looking forward to that day at all and.... I am really bored right now and don't know what to talk about everyone will you pray for josh and stephanie harrel because they are now in north carolina and no longer here :( so it kinda stinks but they are following gods will and thats the most important thing also clint and rachel if you haven't heard are having a little nadeo and well definitely pray that the child will be nice and healthy and all that good stuff well I hope everyone is doing well and leave some remarks you guys are slacking on me so I will talk to most of you wednesday at church have a blessed night and I will talk to you guys later
IN CHRIST john

      lift point is lovebrought to you by the isLove Generator

I'm hopefully going to be getting a job VERY soon!! As....a....waitress!! Yeah, yeah, hold the applause. A sucky job, to be sure, but a job, nevertheless. It's a gig on a golf course, some nice restaurant. They must need help bad because it came thru the grape vine (3 grapes in all) that they'd hire me immediately, even tho I'm only 17.
Cool, huh?
And as rumor has it, I'll be making a pretty good wage in tips alone. Add minimum wage to that, and I think I'll be doing OK!
And I'm making plans to come home for a while sometime next week. I hope it all works out. I never got a chance to say good-bye to the people I thought I'd be seeing again after 3 weeks.
Funny how things work out.

Well, im kinda new to this thing but i thought that id try it. Celebrate God. bye guys!

so i have Raisin in the Sun and Their Eyes Were Watching God.. but what other book are we supposed to read?

And what do we read for AP US?

not like im gonna do any of it.. but hey at least i'll know what i should be reading..

life is good.
finally went to cc practice..
it wasn't too bad.
my back is killing me.


kelseys home!

i have honestly realized the HUGE importance of friends in my life...
it is soo crucial that you choose them wisely, because so often you become who you hang out with. its so easy to pick up on your friends habits and what not...
i'm so glad that i've had the chance of being friends with so many of these wonderful guys and girls!
be blessed -- lisa marie

I made a new group. SALTY, there is an explaination with it. Join and find out!! With love always~ash

okay. . .I'm not even close to being packed. . .but are we surprised.


photo from lauraebeth

I ate lunch with Anna @ panera Bread today. in about a weeks time, i've been there 4 times. I do love it. . .

I am seriously considering attacking my closet before bed. . .and then i wanna read. . .but the book i wanna read is at the bottom of my "keep" box. GAH

and this is how anna feels about me moving


photo from BeautyFromPain

photo from LiveLageAndHard

OMG passport was fun!!! i love it and again miss all my friends.

BLUE CIRCLE # 5!!!

well it was just another in the wonderful life of Leah....not to much to talk about just that we had band camp today and band camp is band camp not to much to it except for the heat and sun....lol.....

okay question for you guys:

okay so i like this guy(if you don't know well then don't ask) and i want to tell him how i feel and all but i don't what to embrass myself and find out that he doesn't like me you know....i don' t know what to do.....HELP!!!

well you guys im going to go and get some rest and clean out my car so i'll talk to you guys later....

Love Always
Leah

photo from LiveLageAndHard
A GREAT GROUP AT PASSPORT!!

this girl in the pic below is my best friend

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn..that was fun!"

Passport was so much fun!! I had so much fun! I can't stop saying how much fun it was! I grew so much closer to my church group and other people there! I feel like i wasn't very close to my church. Now i feel like i can actually talk to them with out feeling small! It was great every night suomething cool happened!! Monday- Lot's of Liquid Tuesday-The dance(wer were crazy stuff) Wenseday- Funfest and thursday- TRLol(canceled cause of a storm) It was so much FUN, the theme was LOl meaning LIVE OUT LOUD! The people there were so nice. I meant so many great people. I learned to be more opened with people!
So i think being there helped me learn more about god and who i am as a person and my relationship with god!


photo from LiveLageAndHard

well the JAMES TAYLOR concert was sooooo cool man it was the best the place was so packed and he sang for like 2 hours ad he did 2 encores he had this one side show band on the rage stage and he was so cool dave burns and he was awesome i bought his cd but ya it was crazy i felt like i was the only person under 25 there lol but ya there were a few cute emos there and ya the place reaked of beer.... it was fun to watch the drunk people hehe but ya we got out of there by like 12 mmmmmmm soo good and carly sorry babe i looked but there was no hope of finding you

band went ok it was uber humid and ouch blisters from no socks at the concert last night *is stupid* well thats it for now

*blows you a kiss*

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

. . . or something like that.

And how about this wicked awesome picture Laura edited:


photo from lauraebeth

Thursday was wonderful; from steak n shake to me rapping early in the morning. I'll never think of a pirates flag the same way.

My oldest Brother, Justin, got married Saturday. no one was invited- dumb losers.

News for those who know about it: The "competition" is over. It's no fun.

kissy kissy kissy.
haha, I love you guys.

I just got back home from the big NYC. I had an absolute great time. God has given me a definite, life altering choice to make while there. I know that I will just have to pray through it and see where God leads me.

Anyways, we got back like 2 hrs ago. I am so tired, but I have some fun stuff to do tonight. I will post some more later...

Peace

Unreached Peoples Fact
Papua New Guinea has the largest number of groups whose primary religion is Christianity (744), followed by Indonesia with 362 and Mexico with 285.


Missions Scripture
"Look among the nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days—You would not believe if you were told."
Hab 1:5

i believe i'm going to
dy my hair black again

gosh, i forgot how awesome a movie A Walk To Remember is. wow. i love it soo much. definitely inspiring. and will make anyone cry. especially me.

well, David's on his way home. and we now have a second band director. maybe everything is getting back to normal again...hope so.

band camp next week! yay! and i'm not being sarcastic.

1 more summer reading book left and I'm done. sadly, it's really boring. it shall take a while. then it's time for school. i'm kinda ready though. should be good. and I really just need to go get my permit. but the driver's book is sooo boring. ugh. that's about all that's going on. thank you and God Bless.

Well I spent the better part of the day trying to figure out the direction I want my life to go. Translated into college terms, I spent all day looking through the MTSU Undergrad catalog. Well to make a long and tiresome story short, I dropped my bs class, and added Economics.

So know I have

English, still at 6:50
Biology at around 8
History
Math

and now on Tuesdays and Thursdays
Economics at 8

17 hours...

photo from RhScHiCk096

see that white fence? thats my house yay

photo from browneyedgirl_88

jones soda popsicles!!!

Hates Who I've Been

Yeah so I am leaving for the white water park trip in six flags 6 in the morning and that means for me to wake up when it is still dark. I usually wake up at like 9:30 in the daytime so yeah it is really going to be weird. I know that it is going to be soooo much fun. I probably won't bring pictures bag because I don't want my camera to be stolen so use your imagination. Well got to go now. Love yall.
*Katie*
School is starting soon!!!

so i am feeling a lot better.

and today was a nice break from it all.
sometimes you just need to get out of the house.

i love you guys.
very, very, very much.

ok so i don't know what to say.......i'm really bored........so i got back from white water rafting.....one word....AMAZING.......i love my youth group.......im so glad i'm in sr. high now.....i feel like a part of the youth group now......not that i didn't feel like a part of it b4 but now i just feel older ......and that i'm actually in high skewl......it's pretty kewl......soo that's all for today.......ya so bye.......i love you
>

hello people of the Internet.

Many of you probably don't know this man, but many people around here do. This man is our priest at St. Rose. He is dying from liver cancer (I think that is basically what it is). He was in Adam's place for rehab, but was just admitted back into the hospital. Please pray for Father Wiatt. Thank you so much.

This have gottin better for me life is back to normal. Well this weekend I went bowling with Nikki Trey Anglea Jeremy Aaron and Samantha it was fun but I found out that I really suck at bolwing. Then I went to the lake with Jacqulyn we rode the tube for like 3 hours and we got maybe a 10 min break. Dude and let me tell u I have never gone so fast on a tube like that b4 it was crazy at frist I was a little scard but I got over real fast it was so much fun have to do it agian some time well got to get ready for soccer

Thanks yall for the support expeclly the soccer team
Kel

HeY kIddOs!! hows everyone??? hehe =) hmm lets see last night jenn came over and spent the night and then this morning we went to the mall and applebees and then timmy came and picked us up..lol.. once we came home we mowed my backyard..hah..n then got all wet!! =) we took *sum* pics soo if you wanna look gooo ahead..lOl..well ill write later..just updating..hehe ilu kids!! tanks soo much for the remarks! bye
MuAh lOve lOve
....:::MyA:::....


photo from RhScHiCk096
^JeNn^

Yeah, yeah, so I purposefully mispelled "the." Bite me.

The biggest problem with shopping? I have to do it to get stuff. Doesn't that suck? I don't mind getting new clothes or shoes or anything - that stuff's all fantastic. [I am a clothes whore, deep down in my heart of hearts.]

I just don't like the pain of realizing that you're a larger size than you thought you were, being too self concious to buy certain kinds of clothes or from certain stores, lusting after awesome clothes in stores that insist on making every size up to the size right below yours, finding stuff that actually fits but looks like crizzap, and just generally SUCKING at shopping.

I'm serious: I need girl lessons. Shopping, hair, makeup: in all of these areas I have either been a massive failure or had somewhat less than mediocre success.

ARGH.

But I've still got to do it sometime this week. Hopefully, with a faithful friend whom I can trust not to let me settle for anything fugly just because I'm discouraged, I can acutally manage to find some cool clothes. Jane has volunteered for this daunting task, bless her heart. I think Michacco is going to assist her. Godspeed to them. Don't be surprised if they come home with suspicious red stains on their hands and clothes and my body is found with shopping bags full of ugly clothes in a dumpster behind the mall.

I can't believe it's already August.. this summer has gone by pretty fast.. and school is starting pretty soon~ I can't believe I'm going to college.. I'm kinda getting nervous.. lol I hope I can find all my classes again.. well I hope everyone has a great week.. I'm gonna have a busy one!! *Laguna Beach* tonight!!!!! love yall~
-crystal

photo from butterfly

This is me a my friend Carrie last May, she died in a car accident in December. I miss her like nobody's business.

the thought of school makes me sick.

last night, i watched Amelie. that is one of the best freaking movies i've ever seen. it's all in french, so you have to read subtitles, but it's way worth it. great movie.

um... i'm getting better. slightly. i woke up with this HUGE white thing on the side of my throat, but i gargled with some salt water and it went away. don't know where it went... but it's gone. hope i didn't swollow it. :shiver: and my mom made me drink this protein thing... sick.

but i feel better than i did yesterday. so... that's good.

hmm so my day so far, got up, ate some cocoa krispies (mmm), got in the shower, listened to music, reorganized my cds, and read a little bit of Silas Marner.

went to subway, got the usual, and listened to Oaklands band's section leaders discuss what they need to change this year and how the new freshmen are too stuck up blah blah blah. i'm just glad i didn't have a siegel shirt on...

i'm really looking forward to band season to start up, but then i'm not because i like summer and the fact that you don't have to do anything. but then i guess as soon as school starts the faster my birthday and Disneyland are going to get here.

anywho, what is everyone's favorite soundtrack?

Did you know we have a family farm in Colordao? One which I could someday inherit? I don't know....could you see me as a farmer??

I'm also related to about literally half of the people in CO. My great-grandparents from my dad's parents all had about 12 siblings each, and they all had at least half a dozen children too, and they had a lot of kids, and now those kids are having kids.....it's pretty insane.

And to top it off I will inhereit a portion of the mineral rights for an entire valley in CO. Meaning if they ever strike oil, I will get $$$. They probably never will, but it's still kind of neat.

Murfreesboro seems very humid now...

Christina

Continuing to seek what the Lord wants from me, I spent some time at a Praise and Worship service last night. I haven't worshiped in monthes and it was so GREAT! Letting the freedom of worship reign was totally new to me, but I loved it. The Spirit fell and I danced! The joy started bubbling out and I had to get the worship out.
-Megs

It is beginning to hit me that the support system that I created this summer is leaving. THat makes me so sad but excited for them/you as well. You guys are going to be able to take NEw York with you when you leave and all of your experiences. I am going to miss you guys. THanks for sharing your lives with me. I love each of you.