im still pretty busy, but who cares, we only got one more six weeks.  ill try to actually do a real update pretty soon.  sorry, but i just feel like doing one right now. haha

So I started my new job at SMS Holdings today...it was ok, a lot of information to be thrown at someone for their first day, but I should have it all figured out before the week is out. As for the road trip, i thought that i would try and avoid traffic, but i left my directions lying on the desk at home, but i thought that I could remember them but I was wrong...way wrong. Next thing that I knew I was about 24 miles from Kentucky. But the good news is that I beat Nashville traffic.

So today was cool! just got back from practice. so yea thursday is one club and i am leading worship and what were going to do is clint is speaking or we are having a worship day! yea so i was picking out some songs and i came upon this old hymn and it really spoke to me. the song just happen to be on the new passion cd. Its called "How Marvelous" the lyrics are so cool. so yea after much thought and prayer i have my set list for thursday already made. which is glorious because i am one of those last minute type of guys. yea i know what your thinking, "last minutes things are not good" so yea! thats pretty much it. i guess i will leave you with a request just pray for me i am really like confused and wanting to be at church but school stuff is taking over till the 1st of may so i guess thats why one club is in my life. Well i guess i will leave with the chorus to my new favorite song:

O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!

well, i'm pretty much dead, i got a 85 in math, and as if that wasn't bad enough i got an 81 in english just to top it off. so yeah, my grades suck this six weeks.

Hmmm....Im bored and stressed out all at the same time.  I guess that comes with procrastination.  I should probably work on that.  

God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them. Matthew 5:3

oh it's funny the things you begin to realize when you sit back and look at your life. it's funny how you look upon your friends and those who you love and care about and it's also weird how you view the world. i have come to realize so many great things and it's all thanks to my Almighty God. Praise be to him!

well life is going pretty good. i'll tell you how it's going after tomorrow! I love you all!

Leah

so this weekend and the beginning of this week has been a walking disaster today. its not cool at all and it really sucks because i have been a walking accident waiting to happen.

i smashed my finger in a glass fridge, a giant laundry trashcan that was brimming with nasty tablecloths fell off its wheels and landed on the back of my ankle so now that is killing me too.

today at work, a pitcher of tea almost toppled onto my head, a glass also fell but didn't break, teas was on the floor so i mopped it up and STILL a lady fell and dropped all of the food she was carrying.

then! brittany was rolling a cart with glasses on it and caught the back of her shoe (i guess) with the wheel and it bounced a glass off of it and the thing like bounces 4 feet into the air 3 times before it shattered. then less than 2 minutes later you could hear in the dish room that nate or someone dropped a glass and a bowl or something cause there were two different shattering noises.

it was crazy tonight. i think we were jinxed... they gave us a little talk that OSHA was comiung and that we needed to be safe and know where all the safety books and stuff were... i think that jinxed everyone... it was a disaster.

plus i spent all of my day sewing costumes for the wizard of oz play. and im not even on the t-shirt for costume design. that pissed me off. i designed half of her damn costumes.. but fine. what does it matter.

now im going to dry my rat-nest of hair... and go to bed..

(:

hola kids

so yeah things are pretty boring about now nothing to do

tomorrow is a art field trip to MTSU for some photography thing that im really excited about

yeah not much else worth talking about

adios

me encanta tu

Ok, just as the title suggest, it's time for a little Q & A.

It's something some have said and some have not. It's something that, we can agree, is highly misunderstood. It's something that can be highly dangerous but it can be the biggest blessing.

Time for the question?

 What does it mean to tell someone (anyone) the words "I Love You?" If you say is to someone (anyone, parent, friend, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend), what do you mean by it when you utter those words? If you had to replace those words with some other words to express the same thing, what would they be?

Not to beat a dead horse, it's just something I'm learning about and I think/know it's something I've misunderstood for a long time.

What do you think?

Matt Goodman and I had Chinese tonight...and this was my fortune:

"Confucius say: Lovers in triangle not on square." 

...what does this mean?!


::b

I see the things and people and events in my daily world as an endless succession of paintings.
-Richard Schmid - one of my favorite artists..


THIS IS WORTH IT :

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/

please please get involved if you can..i know a lot of you will have prom but we will be walking from the target (in franklin) to the peoples church then writing letters to congress!..we will stay there with hundreds of people overnight..its going to be soo awesome...:-)

call me if you want to go (556 5222)..hopefully i can get another movie night together ...

or.. we may be showing the invisible children video at belle aire this coming wednesday...not too sure yet.
love -kels

Sat. was so much fun!  I went to the mall with Izzy, and, of course, we were our wierd selves.  If you want details though you'll have to ask me at school cause I'm not putting them on this thing, lol.  We went to the cookie store, and let's just say Izzy + Cookies + Dr. Pepper don't mix.  Then we went to GO USA and rode the go-carts.  All in all it was a good day.

God Bless!

Ok, so I followed Carla's link to quiz galaxy.com, and thought it would be an utter shame not to share with you fine people the the results:

How I would be defined in the dictionary...

Naima Khandaker: "Having the texture of congealed cheese."

 I am truly flattered.

Anyway, while I'm here (and NOT working on my huge art project that's due tomorrow), I thought I would let you guys in on some great news!

I just found out on Friday that I've been accepted to Teach for America!  My placement is in an inner-city elementary school (my first choice age group) in Washington, D.C. (my first choice city), so it looks like I will be living there for the next two years!  This is pretty much my dream job!

My life rocks! :o)

birthday in 8 days anyone??

I love Sprinklers! We got to run through them after practice and I was soaked! It was so much fun! I also love new crushes. I have been so happy that I am giddy and jsut goofy inside. I am so happy right now! =)

so i started whitening my teeth the other day and already they are like so much whiter. mom has like planned out senior pictures (hair, make-up, nails etc.) i am so excited. almost 2 years since we found the tumor. have a MRI in june or july i cant remember which one.

played outside with my sister today. threw the football and she hit me in almost every spot that was able to be hit when she threw it.

Well after school today I ran 10 Miles around the track. Pretty amazing huh? Even more amazing is how fast I did it. I ran it in a very respectable 1 hour and 29 minutes. Well Im pooped out. I can barely get around the house. The only thing I've ate all day is a bowl of Oatmeal at 6:00am this morning. Somehow not eating lunch allows me to run farther. I dunno don't ask me. But then I pay big time for it after I get back to the house. I've been lying around for awhile now. Its time to go lie down on my bed till Demos' gets here.

life is okay for once.

don't know how much more of my family i can take, but hey...i could have been in a worse position...i'm glad i got the family i did...

leave me some comments please...i need someone to make me smile...

mucho love,
[the beccanator]

so, i got bored and decided to update.  soon i will get a pic of my doggy.  yeaah

Crying...
I'm totally stressing about this. I will have this pain in my stomach until she gives us them back. I think I caused myself to have an ulcer. Do you kno what I'm talking about? TERM PAPERS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ><!!!! I was working on mine like any other student on the night before it was due... and guess what happens... Dumm DUmm DUM :O I fall asleep working on the paper! This morning, I stressed to get the damn UNFINISHED paper emailed to myself in time enough for me to catch the bus! OMG what a morning.

Plan...
So I figure that I could work on it in second period were I have the most AIR HEADED teacher. I figure she is going to be giving a "walk through" lesson. but But BUT NOOOOOOOOOO!!! She has to give us an activity to do on our own. That BITCH! I cant believe my eyes and ears! Of course I panic! I'm sweating.. SWEATING bullets! Of course I PANIC WORSE!! I dont kno what to do. I figure that I would sneak and do my paper anyways.. but you kno what happened... She walked around the room making sure that everyone was doing the assignment. PFFTT!! :P  I got news for you teach,  NOBODY and I mean NOBODY was doing it. Well of course.. today was my day.. She caught me. I got pissed off. Karen was trying to soothe me. I was stressing extremely bad. So I let that bitch win for now.

Library Bitches...
I then figured, "OYE!! I'll do it in the library during lunch!"  But  noooo since today was my lucky day- yeh the fuck right- I asked that old lady nicely.. I mean NICELY!! if I could just print the damn paper off... but noooo- by this time my eyes are whaling up and I'm about ready to let it all out- she denied me because I didnt have my little stamp thingie for her old ass eyes to see. I bet she could tell her ass from a hole in the ground! She pissed me off so bad. Later I caught up with a friend and told her about it.. like she cared, shes a junior. She made fun of me. But, mwuahahahahahahahahahahaha! I told her she would have to go throught this shit next year, sooo :PPPPP!! And that cheered me up a bit.

I love Love LOVE Chris!
It was fifth period! AHHHHHH ENGLISH!! OMG and still no PAPER! I was talking myself into taking the zero for not even having it. I had mentally prepared myself for it. I was holding back tears. I knew that if Mrs. Jackson would have looked at me, I would have started crying. I felt so hopeless. U__U But then I noticed Chris and got a huggle!! We were both last mintue on our papers. I said "Uhh.. where you going?"
"Print off my paper."
:O "WTF?!? Will you print mine too?!?!?"
A few mintues later my unfinished paper was in my hands. I felt alot better but not much. I wanted more time.. to build a time machine to go back to make me focus more on that damn paper. Hell getting anything is better than a zero. But it dont even matter I think that I have failed that class anyways. I'm not doing good in that class. It will suck ass... no it will suck major donkey balls if I have to graduate in summer school. I will be so ashamed of myself. But my mother? Lesley (why do I care about her? @_@)? Edu? OMG EDU!! I havent even thought about him!! OMG! What will he think of me? Now I feel so horrible! I wanna cry! I think I will do that, it will make me feel better. Maybe I will come up with a solution to this. Begging Mrs. Jackson for extra credit? Whoring myself for her (O O HELL NOO!! That was Chris's idea. [FUCK YOU! :P])? Hell I have no idea but I need to think quick fast and in a hurry! Someone hold me and tell me the world is gonna be ok!! PLEASE!!

I posted a few random photos that I have taken... I'll post more later but I couldn't get the others to load just now...

I've been wait-listed for George Washington.

You have no idea how unspeakably happy I am about this.
(I cried, to be perfectly honest.)

I am currently composing the "short statement" they said I could attach.  It's very short, simple, and to-the-point -- about four words.

"Admit me or die."

Not really.  I am going to compose a tale of devotion and emotional rollercoasters, however.  Or something like it.

Now if my blood pressure will only normalise....

Carla
--
[adjective]:

Pretentiously
academian

'How will you be
defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com
so
yeah...i started work today at health services, and let me just tell
you, i'm going to have an awesome summer there! yay!!! funny story -
about 15 min to closing, this girl comes in in her string bikini with
half of her butt hanging out to get her birth control. pretty sure we
were all laughing! oh yeah - and la came in to get her TB test
read...she will be dying in 2 weeks...everybody send her flowers!


on a much happier note, all the stuff i had to get done
today that i was so stressed out about is pretty much done. YAAAAAAAAY!
and my voice lesson went really well today too! AND there was no choir
today (or the rest of the semester for that matter) so all in all it's
been a pretty good day so far. now if only my baby didn't have class
until 8pm tonight

I don't know what happened since I very first started all of this online journaling stuff, but I just don't know what to write anymore and I haven't in a while. I can't say I'm writing to vent or anything like that because if I was doing that, I wouldn't be doing it where everyone could read it. Every thing I'd like to write I quickly decide is nobody's business but my own. I'm beginning to think all this is good for is updating people on my life, and then I think if people want to know what's going on with me they can call, but some people I really don't want calling me....

I remember coming on these damn things when I was about 15 or 16 and spilling my heart out. I just can't do it anymore. I don't know why.

Anyways, I'll use phusebox for the only thing it's good for - to update everyone on my life (and Andrew's).

-2 more weeks of school left and then I'll be working all summer (hopefully and regretfully)
-I have a new favorite author, and everyone should look her up. Her name is Jeanette Winterson.
-Andrew and I, along with my family, are off to Florida in less than a month (CAN'T WAIT)

That would be it. Oh, besides that I had a nice Easter Sunday, and I hope all of you did as well.

WATZ UP PEOPLE ME JUST CHILLIN HERE BORD AS FUCK!!!!!!!!

have been pretty eventful.

First, I got into Governor's School for the Humanities!  This picture is icky but it's my acceptance letter.  I'm reeeeeeeeally excited.

Then Chamber Choir went to New York...it was amazing, we saw Spamalot and Chicago and had justs gobs and gobs of fun, all of which can be seen in the wonderful photos in my photobox.

Then...I got asked to prom, which was pretty cool, by none other than Hunter Barry.  I proceeded to purchase a dress, which is enormous and bright pink.  I'm looking forward to it.

Then came our mission trip to Mexico which was amazing...the best youth trip I've been on...there are a lot of good pictures from that in my photobox, too - all of which, he would want me to tell you, were taken by Ben Moser : )

Now all that's left in my life (besides nasty little nusances like term papers) is West Side Story...rehearsals are nearly every day, and we're getting pretty close to showtime!  Less than three weeks.  It's exciting.

So that was my forty days of lent.

..Christina

hey everyone

well i hope everyone had an good easter

well later

 meg

I feel bored and restless.  Perhaps I shall give DDR another go?  I haven't played since last week when I was tired and uncoordinated and pms-y to the point of crying because I sucked so bad at DDR.  However, now that I am back to normal hormone and caffine levels, I might want to give it another chance.

Anyways.

Next year... Senior year.  Gah.  I remember sitting in first grade, trying to imgine living for another ten whole years and being in high school.  It seemed absolutely impossible.  Now, it seems like the enourmousness of life is hitting me all at once.  I can't stop thinking about next year, five years, ten years, even fifty years from now.  It all seems so close and so far away.

Growing up messes with your head.

. . . . I'm hungry.  I think I shall snack.

i spent the morning with my favorite friend (okay it's hard to really pick a favorite, but he was today at least!) i knew someone who had an extra ticket to Regis and Kelly this morning and invited me... so i went even though i have a whole lot of stuff to do. it was fun, and i'd been wanting to go anyway, but getting to see David Schwimmer made it all so much more fun! alright, now i gotta go do about 7 loads of laundry.

As of late, I've discovered a program many people use as a relatively simplistic way of writing music for guitars, called Guitar Pro 5.  As the Tech student I am (and the pirate I've become), I used bitlord to download the full program, and so far, I can honestly say I'm impressed.  I'm like my niece in the toy section of Target.  While there are probably more professional programs for this sort of thing, Guitar Pro should provide a large consumer of my time.  I'm really ready to implement my ideas on time signatures and key signatures in actual musical setting.  Also, being not so proficient at all things guitar, I can hear those ideas before I know how to play them.  Should be a lot of fun...

in celebration of my PERFECT score on my recent political science test

 ***

DANI'S QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Until you've been in poilitcs you've never really been alive.
It's rough and somethimes dirty, and it's always hard work and tedious details,
but it's the only sport for grown-ups --
all other sports games are for kids.
-Robert A.Heinlein

so . . .

what's the first thing you remember/noticed about me?

So I figured I'd put something a bit more interesting than "schifty five" or at least, more serious.

So I've enjoyed being home this weekend.  Spent a lot of time at the house of the infamous "Mrs.Jeanna," and it has been quite fun. Actually, I'm here right now- but this time partially due to the fact that I needed some internet access, getting some notes off of a site from my economics teacher.-

So, the trilogy was AMAZING, and I loved the David PHelps song you guys did when Jesus rose.  I heard it at a church in Cleveland, and they did a pretty awesome human video to it. 
But yeah, the boro is still my great home, although I'm really going to miss leaving Lee here in a couple weeks.

Last thing, if you guys could pray for me speaking at the CAK ( christian academy of Knoxville ) middle school this thursday, I'd really appreciate it. O, I'm speaking at their chapel

as soon as i'm ungrounded. abby dee brock and of course me are gonna have one. werd. i have to say this boy has made me and abby dee closer..i dunno y..but it really has. i love her.

new slideshow, on my last blog. in a comment.

[from easter]

[blurry pictures i know, my little sister took most of the pics. lol.]

yea pretty much.....

thursday...the start of it all ........thursday night my aunt donna died.

Friday...actually a pretty good day.

saturday.....was gonna hang out with spencer and ashely....but no....had to go to the visitation

sunday...happy easter.....went to church...was gonna go to spencers g-pa's house with spencer....no....had to go to the funeral.

death ruins good plans

oh well

well....hello.

i had an "OKAY" weekend

Friday- went Shoppin then carnival then Devan spent the night

Saturday- saw Scary Movie 4.. was pretty good

Sunday-EASTER>>>ate at legends<<<went to see The Wild..it suckedd

leave me a comment

for once.

LOVE.XxX.SARAH

heh heh...

Wut^ ervy1.. .man tht waz an exaustin weekend.. cant wait 4 da damn syummer.. .ll be bringin in tht paper... but leav sum comments... scary movie 4 waz funy as hell 2... holla

Hello everyone I am in Computer Apps now and just trying to get this in before the teach gets back in here. This weekend was cool, although I only wrote about a page I was so close to beating my hackyrecord i about died when i didnt get it. G2G he is back

                                                      Phil Over And Out

"Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
When you start running
come here and we'll begin together.

I don't particularly feel like
walking in front of anyone.
But I don't feel like walking
behind anyone either.

If one of you yells "YES!"
Then I'll get in line and
yell "YES!" as well.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
When you start running
come here and we'll begin together.
You are my pride.

In these seemingly worthless days
there is hidden a trick to being happy.
It was made for
everyone to share.

It's ok if
you don't win.
If that happens then
let's lose together.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
I can year your voices.
Nothing seems scary.
I'm not alone any more.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
When you start running
come here and we'll begin together.
You are my pride."
-Ayu (AUDIENCE)

i got my domain.  http://www.thechrismorgan.com

it's not much now, but i have a blogger on it.  i'm working on a couple things.  i'll still post here...  i think.  but i'm busy, so who knows how much i can...

It isn't where you come from......Its where you are going that counts!!!

Ya know, I was just thinking how much I did NOT take advantage of my high school years. I kind of regret that.... I wasn't involved as much as I could have been, and I didn't try as hard in my classes as I should have maybe. It kind of saddens me that I was like that.  Even though I did fairly well with grades in highschool, and even though I was involved some, I wasn't as much as other people were and I didn't put myself out there. Thankfully I am trying my best to make the most of my college years, and hopefully I will take advantage of the opportunities I have presented to me.  I really want to go to the City of Children with Lipscomb next year. I never went with the youth group in high school because I always had dance team camp and practice, or family things that conflicted with me going. I also would love to go to Camp Shiloh and Baja, Mexico. wow, there are so many mission opportunities and so many service opportunities....i really want to just grasp a hold of all of them.... but I guess God will do what he wants in my life and it's not for me to decide. I know God knows my heart and that's all that counts, but I just so desire to make a difference and to be a light to the world and to hopefully influence those around me as well. I just want people to see my heart and know that it is a heart that wants to do good and that loves God and loves my fellow man.

"In the same way, let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven."  Matthew 5:16

"be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1-2

Haha yeah it was one of the best...well other than working it was amazing!! On Saturday I got to go see Backseat Goodbye a.k.a Chad Sugg does his thing and then HELLOGOODBYE!! WOOOO!! It was so much fun!! Then I got to meet them and take pictures with 3/4 of the band. Jesse was in the bus....STUPID!! But I groped their boobies in my pictures...as seen as my profile pic....Then me y amigos went to Logans.....yeah pretty sure I got gravy spilled allllll over me......and the waitress cried but I told her it was alright and don't worry about it. She helped me get it out...but I smelled like gravy the whole night....chilled in Nashville awhile and went clubbing....HAHA that was interesting....

"I'm exhaustion...."-Kristin Lanae

..........I'm hungry....and I need to get my passport for Dominican Republic!! Yay!! I can't wait...its going to be a life changing experience!! Well I'm skipping my class right now....hmmm I should probably head to my next one.....*sigh*

I wish I was someone else anyone else, everything is coming at me at once but I can handle it. God is the only thing keeping me sane right now I finally realized we are fighting something real, something so real that people ignore but very soon we won't be able to ignore it anymore because we have let invade our churches, youth groups, homes. everything our  only answer is prayer thats the only way to handle these things we are dealing with. we need to intercede and get god back into our lives instead of trying to push him out tof the world he created. where are we? why are the christians hiding behind the word religon instead of speaking out? why are we afraid of what god has placed inside of us? where is the passion he placed inside of us?

Those posts that everyone says that I wrote, How could I write them if I wasn't even near a computer that day? I only have access to the internet at school, I went on a field trip that day, I didn't get back until 6th period, and there are no computers in my 6th period. People in my 4th period and 2nd period classes sit around the computers all the time, do you think they may have figured out my Password.... I bet I forgot to log off of phusebox the day before...I don't know and I don't really care as long as people quit saying that I posted those satanic looking posts.

Hey ladys and gentle sea cows,

how are you?

im doing great, i bought a 91 honda accord 5 speed last tuesday, its rad i love to drive it and what not

ill post a pic of it on here later but yeah

keep it real peace out

nothing to say here now actually.

 but i am feeling a little blue anyway.

 i am thinking a lot of people goes and still a lot comes in our Bible Study Group. 

so as in all other places. again and again.  so what is the essense of life? 

what is the "relationship" between people? what shall we seize during and after

 the "together"? is there anything eternal? i don't know. somebody may say "i love you forever" 

may change; somebody may say "let's do it until the end" may not work out; somebody may say "i will come back" 

may have forgotten you. and the time still moves on, without stop, without a short waiting, nor even a second's rest. 

  it is not a sunny day anyway, hopefully the sunshine will come out later in the day. 

God! i just want to tell you i need you now. please don't hide you* **ces from me. i need your words now! Easter Day! the day some years ago, 

i was still young, and it was the day that i wanted to keep it, and wi** ** will stop at that day. Easter Day! celebrate JESUS'S resurrection!  

so we just can cry before him to get comfort! so we can get the source of strengh from him whenever we are hurt! Lord, be with me and hold

 my hands! 
  

I made it back in one piece, albeit a sickly one.  I'm not sure what happened...probably the cigars mixed with greasy food and an open-window drive makes for a poopy-feeling fool.  Ah, well...that's the way it goes...

I've taken to exacting measures,
Ruining my reputation step by step,
Stating line for what might be
Shallow without clever, esoteric depth.
Smell of urine, smell of jack,
Both the same in your knowledge,
Having lost you, rebound to memory,

Remind still of the pigshit inside.

For fear in and of itself,
Tells the tale of submissive spirits,
But fear created in the wake
Of somber situations—a worse fate, indeed.
Look baby, he's not your type,
And never was the type to take the lead,
As your patience, a blanket of his irresponsible
Behavior in others' lifestyles,
Covers a multitude of the bastard's mistakes.
Was it not gossip passed over
From radical parental control
(On both ends I might add),
To aforementioned shit of turmoil?
What do we know from the bitch's mouth?
Have these things been passed on in stead,
Or in instability, a life shaken by overkill,
Animal words, anachronistic attraction?
We are still nubile, ready for slaughter!
I won't bury the hatchet for fear:
I may take his soul to hell with me,
But you are so afraid of your shadow.
Moving along, a further turn of events,
From grief to other sorrows:
Shall the rekindled flame blossom
Where you are removed a year's time?
Alas, he could have written the Vagina
Monologues in three languages, had he made the time.
Work, work, work—a territory less
Discovered than embraced in boredom.
I've sacrificed God for mammon
Before, but not as he.
You will not understand my words.
Your masochism misunderstood,
Your life an open book,
Your presence an awkward soul,
I've had worse circumstances to found destinies.
Perhaps, I've misplaced you for desiring
Stronger companions; I'd almost rather
The unknown be my vexation!
But those of relationships quandaries—ludicrous!
And unyielding as you are,
From the influence of extremists,
In the presence of your unwieldy life's decisions,
You return like an addict.
Psychotic people, love and forget,
As I've forgotten—you're still impervious
(I didn't hear this)—my manners.
Perhaps, I'm still angry:
You are far from me, your friendship,
A distant past you'd seemingly like to forget.
You don't care about me,
So what's the point of writing?
My art is my life and my death (soon coming)!
No vengeance could enlighten my soul,
Lift my spirit from the guttural noise,
In a world of melody and dissonance.
So I'll fuck myself in darkness,
Until another folly (mindless as men are soulless)
Returns to replace your friendship.
We'll forget I ever happened, otherwise,
If the casket reveal my flesh torn and tattered,
From an "accident" or such.
Just to say these things to remind me
Of what I have become, not your heart,
But a shell of a God-fearer,
A shell of a mature individual--
These things, reminiscent, I wait in darkness,
Fucking myself for all the mistakes I've made,
Crying out to a holy God, asking why,
And how, and what the fuck are You doing.
I don't understand people dissociating
From me.  Am I that grotesque?
I am too open.  I have said too much.
You'd pick anyone with God
On a first-name basis, wouldn't you?
That's funny, and all of life is funny.

**I don't mean to be hurtful or offensive in this post; I'm just expressing  part of my pain in a way that's easy for me.  If you do happen to understand what I'm talking about, and think I'm inappropriately speaking of such people, places, and things, keep in mind that this is my venting site, whether you read it or not.  It's through transparency than situations can dealt with, not through obscurity where problems can fester in darkness.

Happy Easter everyone! I have to say GREAT JOB to my phusebox friends who had any part in the trilogy…Ali, Amanda, Megan, Chris J, Chris M, Zay, Paul, Steven, Will, and Tyler (I'm sorry if I forgot to list your name.)

Ali, good job on that smile and the whole human video!

Amanda, I have to say, after watching what my dad taped I think you were the best in He Is. Sorry everyone else but it's ok for me to say that cause I'm part of the everyone else! Good job in This Blood, too.

Megan, I hope your ankle is feeling better. I'm glad you toughed it out through our human video. I'm gonna miss your, ali's, and my little dance during the resurrection song. That was fun.

Chris Jensen, I can't imagine even attempting to work the sound. Must be hard but you did it! And sorry, but yours had to be pink to go with my pattern.

Chris Morgan, you were the best Simon I've ever seen! And yes, my dad did get you on the tape.

Zay and Paul, I don't know many people who would have done your part, but someone had to do it and you too were great! Haha, Paul's little, "I'll kill you!" was great too.

Steven and Will, as part of the crowd you may not think you had much of a part in it but I got to look at it from an audience member's point of view cuz my dad taped part of it, and I'm telling you guys, all of those crowd scenes looked really good. Everyone was together, frozen, used facials, it was just fantastic! Again, sorry 'bout the pink.

And Tyler, our crucified Jesus, you really took one for the team! And other than the times Paul really did hit you (owww!) I never heard you complain, even when you had to spend 16 hours with that makeup on and had to sit in the makeup room for so long. In my opinion though, that's an amazing way to spend Easter. There aren't many people who can say they spent their Easter the way you did!

Again, the whole thing really was awesome. There were lots of people who talked to me afterwards and said they got goose bumps every time we did He Is or couldn't stop crying during the crucifixion. The resurrection was incredible, it even gave ME goose bumps and I was peeking out from behind the curtain holding my props and dancing with Megan and Ali during the choruses. Well, everything's back to normal now. Oh yeah I forgot…at FWC there's no such thing as normal! Our next mission is FINE ARTS! I have no doubt we'll all do our best in that, too. Cya Wednesday my buddies!

AMERICANS ARE CLOSING THEIR EYES TO OPEN THE WORLDS TO AN UNSEEN WAR.
BY LYING DOWN, WE ARE JOINING THE INVISIBLE CHILDREN IN NORTHERN
UGANDA, AND DEMANDING THAT OUR GOVERNMENT PUT AN END TO THE LONGEST
RUNNING WAR IN AFRICA, AND ONE OF THE WORST CRISES IN THE WORLD TODAY.NORTHERN
UGANDA IS CALLED THE WORST HUMANITARIAN CRISIS IN THE WORLD TODAY
BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF ATTENTION 1.7 MILLION PEOPLE FORCIBLY DISPLACED
AN ESTIMATED 20- 50,000 CHILDREN ABDUCTED TO FIGHT AS SOLDIERS TENS OF
THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN COMMUTING NIGHTLY 130 PEOPLE DIE PER DAY IN
NORTHERN UGANDA DUE TO VIOLENCE

ON
APRIL 29TH IN OVER 130 CITIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY, THOUSANDS ARE LYING
DOWN TO DEMAND THAT OUR GOVERNMENT TAKE A STAND AND PUT AN END TO THE
NEED FOR NIGHT COMMUTING, CHILD ABDUCTION, AND WAR IN NORTHERN UGANDA.Learn more at InvisibleChildren.com. Save the children. End the War. Do your part and repost this bulletin to spread the word.

Honestly, I don't think they can. Right now things are just amazing! This weekend has been the best ever. I could not ask for a better one. Friday- amazing, saturday-just perfect, and today-breathtaking......Right now I am so happy and have nothing else left to say....I'm in love with life right now!!

"Love Is Looking For You"
-Miranda Lambert

Maybe you're just jaded from some nobody's unforgotten words
Maybe you're just faded, a little gray from every time that you've been hurt
So you're lookin for your skin that you never did fit in
You can't hide when you're turned inside out
Love is looking for you now

Maybe you been burnin' but you can't blow out a flame that you can't find
Maybe you've been thirsty but the rain just aint enough when you're this dry
So you're runnin' from the water and the fire's getting hotter
I think you better find some lever ground
Love is lookin' for you now
Love is lookin' for you now

Maybe you been wearing the shoes that someone else is wearing now
Maybe you've been swearing forever might have already run out
You can't love yourself at the expense of someone else
You can't hide a liar from the truth
Love is lookin' for you
Love is lookin' for you

I've been looking for you
Baby I've been lookin.....
I've been looking for you

Life pretty much sucks right now.

Thats all I have to say about anything.

well it's just time for a new entry. it's been a while. what's up? 

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!
HE IS RISEN!!!!!!!
HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!!!!!

Yeah, so this has pretty much been the best weekend ever.

yep.

Love,Ash

so guess whos really really sick of school and ready for it to be over because its so nice outside and all i think about is going to the beach or kayaking or staying up late playing jailbreak with all my friends or riding with my top down or going to hawaii or eating sonic in the back of bens truck or 4th of july or spending time with my amazinggg boyfriend or watching movies but not really watching them cause all of us cant sit an hour without talking for 5 minutes =) or going back to school knowing that this is the final year youre going to see 95% of the people ouve been around for the past 4 years or going to the lake and skiing for the first time or just.. chillin? 

so who feels kinda like me?

Happy Easter to all!!!!!

Yall should listen to a song called "I'm not Alright" by Sanctus Real. It's pretty awesome!!!!!

Short update.

 - Garrett

Easter was amazing. Had church at Murphey's center because we didn't have room in the church since a couple of years ago. and this year all the seats were almost taken. it was once again amazing to think that people who dont come to church on a regular bases, consider Easter a day to. mom ordered all 100+ pictures today and they should be in afew days.

I had already picked my major and minor out for college but after church that all changed. I was going to major in mathematics and minor in chemistry but there was this lady and i couldn't stop watching her. she did the whole survice in signlanguage for some people that were deaf. the worship and Pastor Jackson sermon it was so cool. so now i am thinking of majoring still in mathematics and minoring in signlanguage/ speech assistance as my grandma called it.

Invisible Children was about the most moving thing I have ever seen. It wasn't depressing, not by a long shot. As I sat and watched, I couldn't help but wonder why the Bush administration wasn't taking more action, why Americans haven't been more informed. I'm slightly irked at the President, but I'll refrain from bad-mouthing. This isn't about him, it's about the kids. We're over here in America wondering what the next song should be downloaded onto our $300 iPod and there are starving children on the other side of the world running-- literally-- for their lives.

I wish I could do more than just give money.

HAPPY EASTER! ^^

Great Easter today ^^

Will was baptised this morning at church. and this time he understands! ^^
"the youth and I went to Camino Real and I got saved and I understand now," he says. Gotta love that boy ^^

We went to my Aunt Judy's for a family Easter lunch. which was amazing of course! Broccoli and Cheese casserole is my love! lol and i got to see my FAVORITE relative (and prolly one of my favorite people on this planet): Uncle Steve!

he's my mom's only full sibling (she has 2 half sisters)

he is SOOOOOO FUNNY and affectionate (like me) i can't even explain how much i love him >.<

look how big Bosly's nostrals are!!! they're HUGE >.< lol

i am sooooo tired! i dunno why *shrugs*  but i'm almost dreading going to school tomorrow. i wish we could spend all day working on WSS lol but there's English and Economics and all those other "important" subjects lol o well...

my fellow choir kids, let us rock on in WSS this week!

"It's always so simple I could cry, but I want to smile.
If I become stronger I'll forget even your kindness, so I want to stay weak.
I want your love."
-Ayu (poker face)

So, this is random, but I want to date a Catholic. I want to know what is it like dating someone who has the same values and beliefs as you. I wanna see if it is weird going to church with them. I htink it would be easier to talk to them and some things you wouldn't have to worry about. But, yah, I want to date a Catholic.

Happy Easter!!!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! We didn't really do anything really special...we went over to a firneds house to have lunch and then we played some games...mostly Jonathan, Isaiah and I threw a tennis ball around in a circle and everytime we would miss the ball my dad would squirt us with a squirt gun...a lot...and sinc none of us are good at ball we were pretty soaked. haha. It was pretty fun. Well...Good job to everyone that was in the Trilogy or helped with it! Ya'll did an awesome job. I know you guys worked hard at it! I'm kinda disappointed that we aren't having any service on Wednesday, but I don't really have any say in the matter, so it doesn't really matter what I think...  : ) 

Easter...I'm amazed yet again that God loves me...why in the world does he? I've been thinking and thinking...and I really can't think of any reason for Him to. He blows my mind...He is so awesome!!! I think that a lot of the time we get callused to the crucifixion and stuff...I know I do, and I think that we take for granted the fact that God loves us...I try not to, but a lot of the time I do, and that bugs me.

Anyway...life is good...I love you all...it was great seeing you Adam...and...I will see you guys later. You all should come to Bible Study Tuesday night...we really would love for all of you people to come...love ya'll

well, it's been over a month.

all-state orchestra was beyond amazing, i believe that's the first time i've ever felt accomplished with my music. this week is senior week, then prom. my brother leaves for boot camp two days afterward, then it's my final blackman band concert ever.

(( the nostalgia is suffocating yet comforting in its own absurd sense ))

i have had alot of time to think about my brother leaving. the only certain thing i know about it is that it's the same day of concert dress rehearsal & all the freshmen are going to be wondering why their drum major has no emotion.

i am going to get over it, i just don't know if things will be the same.

i know they won't.

<3

    yea so school... ick... I have seven pages written so far... I have a lot more reading and a lot more writing to do... I dont' think that I will go to bed tonight... I haven't pulled an all nighter in a while, which is good... but I really don't feel in the mood to do that.. oh well I guess that's life huh? We don't always get what we want ;-).... yuck... I really am not in a good state of mind to be writing a paper like this :-p.... wish me luck.

Happy Easter to everyone. The Final Presentation of the Trilogy Part 3 is tonight. But since i saw it this morning in first service, i am not going tonight.... this years trilogy was different than last years in a good way. Last years was really good... in fact that is why my family and I are still coming to the church... but this year just went even farther. i so wanted to be in the trilogy this year, but i thought with me participating in Fine Arts this year, for th first time, i could get overwhelmed and that was the last thing i needed at this time.

This Wed. night we have no church... i think i overheard Ms. Julie saying that the youth is still doing something but she wasn't sure because she is going to Jamaica this week. i'm so happy for her. she only gets off like one week for vaca and she works year round. Oh and today was her BiRtHdAy! Happy Birthday Ms. Julie!

Now about the youth not having service this Wed. i 100% agree that the people that were in the trilogy deserve this Wed. night off. i just will miss all my friends. so if the youth is doing something... i am happy. Also next Wed. Night is the Dinner Theartre. i want to talk to gus and see how he is choosing who is doing the femaile vocal solo because i want to do it Wed. night and then the others that i know are doing female vocal solo are Brady H., Linda, and Meagan M..... but there might be more....i know that there were two guys for sure doing male vocal solo and they are Tyler P. and Paul M.

I can't wait until finearts weekend! i can only pray that i will be ready because for the past 2 weeks i have not been able to practice with Pastor Laura...or atleast in the sanctuary like meagan has.

well i will write more later on in the week....

Hugs and well Hugs...

}{Mustard Seed}{

wow! HAPPY EASTER everyone.

church this morning was very emotional.we had our Easter play and everything and it was amazing.it truly touched my heart and really made me think about my life.

well i hope everyone is having an awesome day because i know i have had an amazing day. i love you all and may your day be blessed!

HE.IS.RISEN!

Leah

so, happy easter to you all!!!

we went to church and had the typical easter lunch...that was pretty cool...

john came for lunch cause he didnt go home (cause he's a bad son)...so my mom invited him over

and we had an easter egg hunt (the pictures) and our easter eggs were full of money...which was smart cause my mom spent much less money on cash than she would have on candy and baskets and so on and so forth...so yeah, that was my easter, it was cool i guess...except that i felt like i had two brothers picking on me instead of one...

wow, this has been a busy week.  i've been at church the majority of the week. here lets see my week:

MONDAY

didnt do much this day. woke up around 7, went to school till 4, had dance at 6:30 to 7:30, the usual monday....

TUESDAY

i think i had trilogy practice that day.... yeah, i think i did. well i dont remember tuesday, it was a pretty long time ago....

WEDNESDAY

i dont think i did too much this day either. maybe i didnt have such a busy week. well, i went to church at 6:30, but had to leave right after praise and worship cuz we had to let the puppy out of her kennel.

THURSDAY

trilogy practice from 6:30 till, like, 9ish.

FRIDAY

ok, this is the busy day! well, not necesarily busy, just full. ok, i had to wake up at nine because my sister was the easter bunny for an easter egg hunt at our neighbors house

 

and i had to do her makeup and had to hide the eggs. i stayed for the egg hunt and we got home at around 11.30, 12ish. then melody called and asked if we wanted to go to the lake with the boys and hang out. so we went and stayed till about 4 cuz we had to go to church at 6 for practice. so we went to church at 6 and stayed till about 9. it was just me and my sister (from my family) that went. we were about to leave, but tyler asked if we wanted to go bowling. we went bowling and it was FUN!!! it was cyber bowling. we danced like freaks. i did so bad. the first game i got a (hold onto your chair) 39! i think that's the worst i've ever bowled, and that was with pointers from tyler. the second game i did a little better at. i got an 87, which is still pretty bad but it's better then a 39! i actually got in second and 5 points away from first (grrrr, spikey....). i got home at about 12:30 and listened to relient k till i fell asleep at around 4.

 

Richard and Steven

my sister alicia and tyler

tyler after he got a strike

alicia bowling

wow, i look wierd in that picture. well, it's me, tyler and meagen.

SATURDAY

i dont remember. i just know i had trilogy practice.

TODAY

happy easter! woke up at 7, left for church at 7:20, stayed at church till 12. it's 3:15 now and i have to be back at church at 5:30. tonight's the last performance. after all the effort i put into this, tonight is the crusendo (crew-sen-dough) or however you spell that. and next week is dance clinic and tryouts for the high school. grrr im so freakin NERVOUS! wish me luck!

if it isn't Easter... well ... wait ... yes it is!  happy Easter to all... and to all a goodnight!

Today has been more wonderful than I could ever describe. I loved being at church.  As I was sitting in Children's Church with a child in my lap and my arms wrapped around two of my favorite kids I was awed. And I would look at the kids sitting beside me and feel the love God has for them......because I love them too. I don't think I could ever say just how much children have impacted my life and taught me how to grow. Each one is so beautiful in their own little ways.

I am so honored, thankful, and humbled by what God did for me 2,000 years ago. And the best way to say it is....."HE IS RISEN!"

Now I have to study for a test tomorrow and I want to go for a long walk on my road reflecting on today, God, and life.

Tonight I'm going to watch the Passion of the Christ. Tomorrow is work after school.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Easter surrounded by all of your loved ones.

My brain is going crazy right now. I had a really cute guy ask me out and then I turned him down cause I am still a little confused on where me and Whitney stand in our relationship, I really don't know what to do anymore. It is one big ass, confusing mess.

sooo how is everyone???
well im back for a day!!!!
made another decision in my life!!! no more phusebox till October 30, 2006!!!(end of my year)

Gods will....
i have learned a lot about Gods will for me just in the past month!!!!!!! i cant change anything that will happen to me!!! everything that happens in his will...will be a blessing!!!

So Tell me all your dreams
Tell me all your fears and what You're longing for the most
Its not another way that'll end up the same
For its under my control.....

7 months....
sooo i have that long of no dating!!! all i can say is wow how things change!! but they have changed for the better!!! i have to honestly admit...IM HAPPY...with things that are happening right now!!! and so far this month just alone has been one of the best(since April 1st that is)!!! God is amazing!!!

East Asia...
im going over seas this summer!!! im really excited to see what will be happening there!!!! God has put me in an amazing group who i dearly love each of them!! if you already didnt know this but God has called me to part time missions...dont know when or where or with whom but all i know is this is a start!!! please keep everyone going in your prayers!!!

friends....
my friends are truely a God send!!! they are amazing!! this past month has been really tuff but they have been there every step of the way!!! thank you!!!! and i have made some new friends who have been a God send to...thank you!!!

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is unseen is eternal."
~2 Corithians 4:16-18

until October 30, 2006!!! Good-bye...have an amazing summer!!!

Love Through Christ!
~Rachel Ann~

Happy Easter!!!

12 people were baptized at my church , and contemporary worship this morning was AMAZING! Jeff, our youth minister, was talking about how we need to take a deep breath, and breathe him in . And it reminded me of the Thousand Foot Krutch song( Great Song). Some thing my friends and I talked about, is how Good Friday and Easter aren't celebrated more than a holiday like Christmas. Like I think Good Friday and Easter should be the biggest time to celebrate . Dont you ?. Also another thing, I guess it depends on the church, but when people get baptized , dont you just want  a huge gospel choir to come in and everyone get up and scream AMEN!!! Cause I do , I really wanted too when all 12 people were baptized this morning. And today for the first time I saw someone get baptized with swimming goggles, she's like 6 years old. haahhah it was the cutest thing. Anyway today is awesome, I just had the usual family brunch with my wonderful family . I hope everyone has a great day .

in christ

Happy Easter!
                              <3         -Chelsea
p.s. I love you Jordan!!!!!!!  *hugs*  *kisses* :D

my party was soooo freekin kool.... if u missed it u SUCK!!! woot!



and ashley even let us dress her up like ME!!!

this weekend..... fun....

Grandfather is in hospital.... had a heart attack.... very bad shape.... moved to charleston..... might have to leave if condition gets worse.....

or else these guys will get you...

well last night was...uh. well. hm. interesting. to say the very least.
THE END

(don't u love it when i don't tell u what i'm talking about? lol. here's a hint: lets just leave it at that it involved an old guy friend who gave me a VERY warm welcome when he spent the night last night. ::raises eyebrows::)

i love Easter Sunday.  the church is packed.  cute little girls in thier dresses.  we talk about boys & their wgs hehe.  we read the easter story.

the kewl thing about easter is it always remind me about the difference between Christianity & ever other "religion" ( i dont like calling my faith a religion).  easter means my God is still alive.

"Why do you look for the living among the dead?  He is not here; he has risen!"

Luke 24: 5 & 6

                                         

HAPPY EASTER

He. Is. Risen!




Easter means my God is still alive!

v for vendetta=favorite movie ever.
it was amazing.
k.so. the blowing up and whatever was cool.
but. what the movie was saying was the point.

"there is no such thing as coincidence,
just the illusion of coincidence."

"this is the most important moment in
your life. commit to it."

just a few quotes from the movie.




[moments define love].
ahhh. i love being 16. at times.
things seem so trivial.
yet they are so very simple.
i think we tend to make our lives
more complicated than necessary.


oh. of course we do.
but it makes it fun right?

yessir.

so i went to trish's friday. it was fun. there were some personlaity conflicts but i kept my mouth quiet. i rode on her step dad's dirt bike and it was pretty awsome, he said hed teach me to ride it by myself. fun fun fun. well i guess i better go.

im off like a dirty shirt

i don't need this right? his lies...but is he lieing? does he just not know his own feelings? wtf? hahaha oh well.
                   Happy Easter my dears
have a wonderful day
                 & remember, if that..'significant other' is giving you doubts, just know, iloveyou, &i'm here for you. 

"trust me" the fray

Looking for something I've never seen
Alone and I'm in between
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in
A city I never been
I found a friend or should I say a foe
Said there's a few things you should know
We don't want you to see we come and we go
Here today, gone tomorrow
We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand
If I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you
Take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
Traffic is perfectly still
We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand
And then again maybe you don't
And then again maybe you won't
When you're older you might understand
When you're older you might understand

Already this year I have had to deal with a problem as next years BNCO. I think that we can get passed that and have a great year next year. I understand that a lot of people do not like me being BNCO, one reason I understand is I can be a prick because I don't like flirting constantly to every girl alive, and frankly, I have a girlfriend whom I love to death and WILL NOT, I repeat, W-I-L-L N-O-T under any circumstance jeopardize that relationship because some little girl wants me to flirt with her or be "nice" to her just to earn someone's popular vote. I am not talking to anyone in particular and if you feel like I am singling someone out, you are wrong. I am above peer pressure, and my morals speak firmly against doing something just because others want me to. I will do what is right and will not sway no matter how hard the wind blows, and that is why I think Colonel chose me as the BNCO; I will stand-up and use my power justly.

If I have to step on someone's toes in order to do something right, then so be it. The fact of the matter is that Colonel chose me because he thought I would be a great commander. Plenty of other people tried out for the position that would have done a terrific job, but Colonel chose me because he thought I would be the best for the position as he told me and as I firmly believe I will be. I am not being arrogant; I am having faith in myself so that others may have faith in me. I might be hard and I might seem mean, but I guarantee that when next school year ends, the corps will have changed for the better and perhaps it will the best year for a long time. I don't care what other people think about me, quite frankly, next year WILL be a great year, it WILL be a successful year, and I WILL be a GREAT BNCO because we have a GREAT staff (each and every person chosen), and people with excellent ideas and I am determined to lead this corps with the best of my capabilities.

To those who do not like me being BNCO:

A.)  Either suck it up because they didn't try out for the position or

B.)   They can leave the corps; it really does not matter to me.

I mean, I want people in the corps but if they are just going to cause a bunch of problems, then they can just leave. People seem to join JROTC just to get out of gym and then they complain because we make them actually work, and that I guarantee will change. This is my stance on the issue.

OHS JROTC BNCO 2006-2007

Michael Alan Thoe

I am so tired of feeling like my life is in shambles all the time. When did my life become so screwed up? When will I have another completely happy entry on here without any complaints? I'm trying so hard to be a good friend to one person but somehow that makes me a bad person to another person. I can't ever seem to win anymore. I am so sorry that I'm not perfect. I'm so sorry that I didn't stay that perfect daughter who never gave my parents any trouble. Do they have any idea what I'm going through? Do you know what its like to have your parents tell you they hate you, that your daddy can't even look at you anymore? My grandparents won't come to my graduation because they hate me, along with my favorite aunt. "They can't stand to be around you" that's what my mom said. I'm turning into such a hateful person because of all this. I told my mom that I hated her after she said she hated me, and it scared me that I might mean it. So many things have changed in my life and I'm having such a hard time adjusting gracefully. I AM SO SORRY THAT I'M NOT PERFECT. They don't even know me anymore. Why can't I just go away?

Every day is a winding road... I'm just trying to walk on the path of life

I thank God that I still have him. Good doesn't come without a price, but bad can bring good. He's my Heaven and Hell.

Happy Easter!!!!!

My Confessions

[x] I'm afraid of silence.
[ ] I Talk A LOT when I get really nervous.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I'm afraid of the dark.
[x] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.
[x] I Can't sleep in a room if the door is open.
[ ] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.
[x] I've stayed out all night.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping secrets from others.
[x] I watch the news
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I am a sucker for green eyes
[x] I am a sucker for brown eyes
[ ] I am a sucker for blue eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse sometimes
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fallen in public.
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam
[x] I bake well
[x] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[i want one period] I want a better job
[x] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours.
[x] I love Dr. Phil
[x] I like someone.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol.
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have a lot of scars.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[that's crazy] I hate chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am not comfortable with being me.
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[x] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Thought of suicide before.
[x] Seen a shooting star...
[x] Gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] Have kissed a stranger.
[ ] Have kissed someone really strange....
[ ] Hugged a stranger.
[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of a diff. sex.
[ ] Been in a fist fight.
[ ] Been arrested.
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] Made out in an elevator.
[ ] Swore at Liberace.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[x] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a car.
[ ] been to Japan.
[ ] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[ ] Been married.
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[ ] have a list of people you want to kill.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a Plane.
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[ ] Eaten sushi.
[ ] Been skiing.
[ ] been snowboarding
[x] love milk
[ ] Been ice skating
[x] Cried in public.
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone almost 24/7
[x] Hated the world.

FACTS:
•NORTHERN UGANDA CALLED THE WORST HUMANITARIAN CRISIS IN THE WORLD TODAY BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF ATTENTION
•1.6 MILLION PEOPLE FORCIBLY DISPLACED
•AN ESTIMATED 20- 50,000 CHILDREN ABDUCTED TO FIGHT AS SOLDIERS
•TENS OF THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN COMMUTING NIGHTLY
•130 PEOPLE DIE PER DAY IN NORTHERN UGANDA DUE TO VIOLENCE

Why aren't we doing more to stop this? Pray for Africa!

Happy Easter!
I love you guys so much.
I'm soo thankful Lent it over and I kept to all my goals...
Now I can finally eat sweets, popcorn, and soda again. yayyy.

Remember today isn't only about getting candy and spending time with family it's about Jesus..our Savior...rising from the dead. Pretty powerful. =)

I hope you all have an amazing and blessed day.

Te Amo.

well...this weekend has been pretty fun. friday a bunch of people from our limo group for prom got together for lunch at this cool little place on the square, yesterday i went down to greenbrier to see my grandmother and she took me shopping for an easter outfit, last night i came over to my cousins house to talk to my date about prom and just hangout, and today...well today is Easter..enough said.

i so dont want to go to school tomorrow....ugh.

the greatest day EVER.

i'm alternating between making out with a tub of chocolate fudge icing and a mug of coffee. reeeeally strong coffee.

that's not the only reason easter is amazing, of course.

but it does make me happy deep down in my soul.

Happy Easter!

Why seek ye the living among the dead?
He is not here, but is risen:
remember he He spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee,
Saying, the Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men
and be crucified,
and the third day rise again.

In talking to Randy as of late, he warned me of the dangers of opening myself up on such a wide scale as the internet, that my reputation may remained stained and such and such; however, I find it quite funny that people relent in providing any help with my depressive states, yet they'll flock to pry into Rebecca Jensen's business at the drop of a hat.  Coincidence? Eh...But these things are in no way to criticize Rebecca's motives or anyone else's in particular.  I suppose that's the way my life has crumbled down the hatch to the regrouping cellar.  If this cathardic session offends you in anyway, you should probably stop reading it.  After all, what good is it to listen if not stretch the contents of your mind.  I think, generally speaking, a lot of Christians countermand the ideas of knowing why you know what you know, and I think it's a problem.  If I just accept what I, a flawed being, believe is true, then I've gained nothing except to just repeat back like a parrot, but know the meaning and the principles and to explore for oneself is a better gain in the end.  Does that mean try everything?  No...but it does mean that if someone produces a good argument that disagrees with your point of view, you should reconsider your view, consider theirs, and determine the best course of action.  To simply say, "Well I believe this regardless," is stupid.
Now, many of you at this point are probably shrieking over my saying these things, for how can I justify my own life by the standard of this advice?  It's true, regardless of my character, however flawed.  Besides, most people didn't listen to my advice when I was "good" (and I can give examples so that it doesn't appear to a fanciful delusion of misery); why should your opinions change?  No, I say these things in the hope one day someone will be helped, despite my stupidity and foolishness, not to make the mistakes or at least to come out of life with a better understanding of it.
I don't understand God, but I'll bet you a million bucks you don't either so that you can't judge.  I don't think in this life we were ever meant to understand God totally, but to have some semblance of Him set in our minds as a goal for why we live.  I realize that, without a God, life is pointless.  There is no point without God, even in helping our species because the law of entropy will eventually consume everything until nothing else exists, but God exists outside this law, if He exists, and controls the aspects of it.  If our end is death, we are simply wasting time; but if our end is life, we have something to hope for.
I figure that I believe in God, but that I'm at odds with Him so that, while I tell people I don't believe in God, I simply do so as a means of relinquishing some small amount of responsibility or judgment by not hypocritically claiming to be Christian, as so many in this age do.  I am working things out.  Am I suicidal?  Yes, at times, and no, at times...I vacillate like nothing else.  These are my problems, though, and if you knew me, you would communicate with me on regular basis, not simply with empty conversation, but with words of importance to life.  I realize it's difficult with my situation, but if you care to judge, you must also care to try.  If you don't try, you can't judge.  You have no vested interest in my life, so why judge me?  I only say these things on judgment to address Randy's fears, not to express paranoia, as some supposed "reprobates" do.
If you view my site, you have the right to remain silent; but if you do speak, speak these words to me as well, as I evaluate my own life.  Who knows?  You might have something good to say, something that may help.
You, the reader, may not understand all these things I've written and will write.  Perhaps, you will remember and realize later, perhaps not.  I don't know.  I find I know very little of important things anymore.
So, here's my catharsis, my way of expression, and my ventilation that you make take as you like.  This is my disclaimer: that I have, and will continue to, stretch your point of view as I stretch my own.

oh my dear friend
what the hell have you done
you've opened yourself up
for the knife and the gun
you're asking for it
all the pain you don't want
i pray and i pray
all of this you'll give up
so you can smile for years
when all this is gone
and i pray and i wish
that you had never begun
to see it all as is
trying all that you see
i fear all my prayers
went wasted from me
and i can't help but feel
really scared to death
i pray that you listen
and i'm not wasting my breath

okay... i know... second entry for today... Am came over tonight :) she had dinner w/ me and the fam... and then we attempted to watch a movie... haha... first we kept talking about God stuff (which never bothers me... i love God stuff :) and then... we kept dozing off... haha... Am a lil more than me... as always ;) ah... God has truely blessed me w/ some amazing friends... that are amazing because they rely on Him so much... i love it! they keep me in check... specially Am. anyways... after 7 long months... i missed her. and it was good to see her again... and all the other CFA peeps. ~Hope

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17