Stupid Bandwagon

October 07 2005
So I've come out of the dark hole called school and finally have time to write something!!! I am so upset and ashamed at myself because I broke down and joined the rest of the college world yesterday.... I am now on facebook. *heavy, ashamed sigh*. I was proud of myself for not giving in to another crazy fad of this world. We all remember the days of side ponytails and big bangs... enough said.... Anyway, my roommate Lacy convinced me into joining facebook so I'm on there and I have been trying to figure out how to use it which is annoying. I have little patience for technology,but I am pressing on. I am already connected to like 300-something people just through like 4 friends. Thats way too many people! Oh well, if you want to be my friend just look me up, I'll probably accept you.

Different topic: School is so much harder that I thought it was going to be this semester!!!! I feel like I am constantly running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I have been talking to God about it, because I don't think things are suppose to be this crazy, right? I dunno. All I know is that it has been hard because my heart's desire is to spend time with girls in the dorms and build friendships with them and share the gospel, but that hasn't been happening the past two weeks because of school work. I was frustrated and threw my hands up to God and just said, "I don't understand. I want my life to count for You and I'm trying to do that, but I don't see school work as glorifying to you. I NEED YOU to show me how this glorifies you." Well of course He is so great and faithful that He has been showing me how even in school work I can glorify him. Its not an easy thing, I am constantly having to remind myself and claim Truth. But I am seeing that through my school work God is teaching me that diligence in studying and being responsible with my time are things that glorify God. I am in the midst of learning this right now so I definitely don't have it all mastered, but God is stretching me and challenging me in this area, which is good because it means that He loves me and is growing me. God is good especially in refining our hearts. I see that I need to Trust in the Lord and NOT lean on my own understanding because my understanding is faulty and full of lies. God is good.

I'm a red bouncy ball...

August 31 2005
So yesterday was my first full day of class and it was intense!!! I was on campus from 9am-4 and then again from 6-7. Usually I will be on campus from 9-9, but since it was the first day we lucked out and didn't stay the whole time. Anyway, so I was in my Special Topics: Relationships 101 class and the professor had us go around and say our name, year, and an inanimate object that described us in our relationships. Well all I could think of was a red bouncy ball... why you may ask? Well thats easy, I feel like I tend to be everywhere in my relationships with people. I am always bouncing around from topic to topic and all over the place with them, HOWEVER I do and can be all there, deep in the heart and that is my desire for my friendships. Anyway, yeah thats it. I'm a red bouncy ball, sometimes anyway :).

Tonight was our first meeing of Campus Outreach and I am so excited about all the changes that have been made and what God is and will be doing throughout the year. I just want people to know Jesus, intimately and passionately and I desperately want Christians to live out thier lives, moment by moment, in a way that will impact and count for the Kingdom of God because truly just like Louie said at 722 we are only entering heaven and bowing down at the feet of Jesus for the first time, one time and what are we going to have to bring to Him. I just want to give everything back to Jesus because He has given me more than enough. Praise Him.

My Name

August 28 2005
Monica Dianne

Emotional and artistic you have enormous energy and creativity although a rather serious approach to life . Through your own experiences you have learned to be understanding and compassionate towards others and always willing to help out. You are courageous, independent and strong willed with a desire to use your talents in progressive projects which will benefit mankind.

Pretty cool. Well school is about to start and all the new students have arrived. It has been a crazy past couple of days helping them move in and meeting new girls. I am excited for what God has planned for this semester. I love love love living in the apartment with Katie and Lacy. I feel so blessed and privileged to be living with girls that are chasing after God and living to make thier life count for the Kingdom of God. Thanks God, for real.

So long, Fare well...

August 16 2005
Well, bright and early tomorrow morning I am moving back to Cookeville. I guess that pretty much signifies the end of the summer for me. I have been running around crazy the past two days trying to get everything together, but I think it is finally done. I can't believe I am moving into an apartment... so weird. I wasn't ready to move out of the dorms yet, but God definitely had bigger plans and I will trust in that. Anyway, this summer has been good and I have learned quite a bit by being home. I had a great time with everyone that I was able to spend time with and get to know. I can't wait to come home and see you guys again. Anyway I'm tired, so goodnight and see ya later. :)

Fighting For Joy

July 21 2005
Fighting for Joy can be one of the hardest things to do. I mean usually if you are fighting for something then it means you are without it. Maybe you lost it, misplaced it, forgot you had it, or maybe never had it, however it happened its gone. This describes my past two days. It started when I woke up yesterday and I was just attacked with all these wrong thoughts and beliefs and I chose to believe them, thereby causing an emo mood ( I got this from Rachael ). While driving to Nashville to meet with my girls Lauren and Whitney, God gently reminded me that I had to fight for joy in times like these. God reminded me that I have a choice to make, I can choose to fight for the Truth in my life or lay down and die. This can be very difficult to do because honestly sometimes it just seems easier to lay down and die, but nothing comes from that. When we choose to believe God's Truth it can be so incredible to experience your heart, attitude, perspective, everything change. Its life being breathed into you... like someone just performed CPR on you. I think that is why it is SO important to be in God's word and to KNOW God's word. I think that is why I love the Psalms because we get see King David's walk with God and how he too struggled and didn't always continually have joy. I love reading through some of the Psalms because you see a perfect picture of David fighting and choosing to believe the Truth in his life. I think Psalm 62 is a great example of David crying out to God in a time of distress and claiming God's truth in that time. Granted David is actually fighting off real people, but the concept is the same.

Psalm 62

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

How long will you assault a man? Would all of you throw him down this leaning wall, this tottering fence? They full intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With thier mouths they bless but in thier hearts they curse.

Find rest, O my soul in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my might rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Lowborn men are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance they are nothing; together they are only a breath. Do not trust in extortion or take pride in stolen goods; though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.

One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.

Just like David, we are fighting battles DAILY so like David we have to CHOOSE to believe God's Truth for our lives and this is possible when we KNOW God's Truth.

Anyway so that is what I have had to do today... Choose to believe God's Truth in my life. And I am STILL consciously having to do this as I write this. I hope you guys have a great night!

Also Eph 6:10-12 is helpful also. :)

"The best kind of prize is a SURprise!!!!" -Willy Wonka

July 15 2005
The past two days have been HILARIOUS!!!!!! I was SSOO happy to get to see Charlie and the Choclate Factory at the IMAX!!!!!!! I have never seen a real movie on IMAX before and believe me it was a life changing experience!!! As far as my movie life goes anyway. I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED!!!!!!!!! I can't wait till it comes out on dvd!!!!!!!!!!! I AM DEFINITELY GETTING IT! YAY FOR REALLY GREAT MOVIES AND REALLY GREAT PEOPLE TO WATCH THEM WITH!!!! I had a great time sharing this experience with Jonathan, Rachael, BJ, and Justin. This could be longer and maybe a little more in depth, but I have an over due date with my pillow. good night!

"Good morning starshine... the Earth says HELLO!!!!!!" -Willy Wonka
-HAS to be one of my favorite quotes of ALL time!!!! I have been repeating it to myself ALL day and it NEVER gets old.


July 12 2005
I had a great weekend with my friends this past weekend. We were able to spend a lot of time together and Elizabeth showed us all around Nashville. This is sad because for some unsuspecting person or someone that doesn't know me this would sound like I have never been to Nashville or I am traveling from out of town. Nope. I live 30 minutes from Nashville, yet I have NO IDEA how to get to anything there. My friend and I got lost last September trying to find Joelton. It took us three hours, now that is just WAY too long! And I just recently found out how to get to Opry Mills, ridiculously easy. So needless to say we were excited to drive through Nashville and actually know where we were going, well at least one of us did anyway. Eliz took us to this place called Bongo Java for lunch. It was a pretty neat place, very artisy cafe' type place. Then we looked around at some of the shops around it. Then I wanted to take some pictures so Eliz took us to the dragon park- the one with the mosaic dragon. It was SO FUN!!! They have this dragon fountain thing where you push a button and this dragon shoots water out. Like a shower or sprinklers. Its was so much fun! Eliz, Britt, and I played in that for awhile. Then we went to some cafe' place for fruit tea, which was so good. Then Eliz took us to Panera Bread and we got the food to go and went to the walking bridge by the river and arena. I had NO IDEA that Nashville had a walking bridge! It was WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!! Guys if you ever need a date idea: get dinner & take a girl to the walking bridge in Nashville, its just nice. Anyway after a full day we went back to where she is staying and watched movies. I miss those girls so much and it has been really neat to look back and see how far God has brought our friendships since our freshman year. Have I mentioned how amazing those girls are? Because they are. Well I'm off to spend time with G-O-D!

WHO IS EXCITED ABOUT CHARLIE AND THE CHOCLATE FACTORY COMING OUT THIS WEEKEND!!! I admit at first I didn't care, but now I am intrigued and would like to see what all the hoopla is about becuase the first one freaked me out.


July 08 2005
I HAVE A PHOTO!!!! Now, the whole phusebox world can see that I have a face! I'm so proud of myself! YAY ME!

I am going to Nashville for the weekend to see two of my bestest friends in the whole world! I haven't seen them since school let out and I miss them dearly! Believe me, you wish you could know these two girls... they would rock anyone's socks off! I am also excited because I am about to go paint a picture for one of them as a birthday present. I am pretty satisfied with the way it looks so far, so lets hope that I don't mess it up tonight! Have a good weekend everyone!

How Great is Our God!

July 07 2005
The sunset was amazing tonight, at least the part I got to see. Isn't it incredible how much brighter everything seems to be after a good rain? I have decided that when the sun stays out to play in the rain it is truly a beautiful thing. I was kind of in a quiet, contemplative mood this afternoon. Because of my mood state I wasn't all for working tonight, but I was attempting to make the best of it, sort of. Anyway it was neat because just as I was coming back from break and hoping to go home the head cashier came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go home early! Thanks God! It was a sweet gift.

So getting to go home from work early AND seeing the sunset probably top as my high for today. My low: getting a paper cut while at work.

When I was spending time with God today I found Psalm 104 and it was incredible. I SUPER encourage you to read it because it just puts things into perspective. Pretty much the whole Psalm is praising God for how Great He is and how He has created everything and how specific He was in doing so and also His Great provision for all that He has created. The rivers and ravines and birds and donkeys, etc. have all been provided for and are without want or need. It is neat to see how everything, the oceans, mountains, birds, donkeys, etc. all rely on God for life, the ablity to move, and breathe, and be. All these things and then He makes time for us because He loves us. This Psalm just reminded me of how BIG God is because I think it is so easy for me to put Him in a box and place a pretty bow on top for my own comprehension. Praise God that He alone can blow the top off that box and reveal to us His Great majesty and glory which should cause us to honor and give all glory to Him.

first time for almost everything...

July 05 2005
Yep, thats right... this is my first ever entry on something like this. I've never been into the whole facebook, xanga thing, but when Nathan told me about his little creation I caved into the madness. Your'e welcome Nathan. :)
Sooo... I had a great fourth of July. I had to work during the day, but when I got off I drove to Cookeville to hang out with my friends there and we had a really good time. We got to watch the fireworks and I got to have some good, much needed fellowship with a few of my friends. I miss them so much and they encourage me daily with thier lives and thier hearts to pursue God passionately and obediently. I left this morning and came back to the 'boro and had the WHOLE day off. I was SSSOOO excited!!!!!!!! So many plans for the day!!!! I washed some clothes, drew some pictures of some paintings I want to do, took some pictures of hay bails, and went to Books A Million and spent a couple of hours with God. It was GREAT!
I enjoyed my time at BAM just getting in the Word. So many things God has been teaching me this summer about Grace and HIS UNCONDITIONAL, EVERLASTING LOVE. I am daily grasping the Truth that God loves me unconditonally which means based on no conditions, no laws, no rules, or quota that I have to meet. God just loves me because that is who He is. His love never changes because He doesn't change (Malachi 3:6, "I the Lord, do not change...") and also with that, God is love (1Jn 4:8) meaning that love just isn't an attribute of God, but it is who He is. Just like my name is Monica, I'm not sometimes Monica when I feel like it or it benefits me, but I am Monica-hopefully, maybe that will make sense...- God is love all the time, just the same as He is Holy, Faithful and many, gazillon other things.
Anyway, so God loves me w/o condition and always, therefore there is grace which means getting something I don't deserve- eternal life, peace, purpose, joy, etc. through Christ, His Son. I think the main verse that has helped me understand that is Romans 5:8, "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for the ungodly." When have done nothing to gain or deserve God's love, He gave us His Son anyway... Love and grace incomprehensiable. Also Romans 5:1-2 has helped me see the grace that I STAND in because of my faith in Christ. I read this one day when I was struggling to believe that God loved me inspite of my struggles and God showed me that I was standing in Grace because of Christ therefore I needed to walk in Grace and claim the Truth about God's love, forgiveness, and grace in my life and move on. Another verse that helped make that evident was 1 Jn 3:1, which talks about how we have been lavished with the love of God and that we are children of God. A friend of mine once talked about this verse and described what it meant to be lavished in somthing. We are lavished with God's love which means that we are COVERED BEYOND capacity with His love and NOTHING we can do or not do will make it go away. Once we have excepted Christ as Lord and Savior of our life we are FREE to accept his love and grace and everything else He is in our lives. This is long, I know, but maybe it could be encouraging.