February 17 2006
I'll never be good enough for him.
But maybe that's okay. I am just sorry I wasted all that time.
It was there in front of me, but I chose not to see it. So it is my fault. He used to make me so mad, but I now see that I wasn't really angry at him just angered by the fact that I couldn't have him.
That no matter what I did I could not change his mind.
I had no control over it and I think that is what truly scared me.
maybe i should just let him go.
Life changes. I've changed.
I'm trying to find in this world where I belong, because I certainly do not know.
It seems like everything around me is changing-
friends are moving on, everything is moving on without me.
the world is turning and yet I am not turning with it.
I don't know what I believe or think. Everything is in constant turmoil.
I'm not the only thing that has changed, and that is the only thing I am sure of anymore.