If you see a guy, or girl, walking around with a denim and green corduroy patchwork purse that has an old navy jeans patch on one side and is lined with a t-shirt from abercrombie and says "Stephen" in stitchwork on the bottom that was handmade and given to me as a Christmas present during my sophomore year, containing:

• a beauty & the beast wallet with about $30 cash and my drivers lisence and insurance cards inside
  


• keys to my house, my grandparents' house, my car, my dad's car, my mom's van, my aunt's truck, my grandparents' car, and the keyless entry to my grandparent's car
  


• 1 tube of burt's beeswax lip balm
  


• 1 ballpoint pen

• 1 elastic hair tie...

Give him (or her) a good swift kick in the crotch for me.

Because this person is a douchebag.

Thank goodness that being at work got me in the habit of keeping my cell phone in my pocket.