sad times...i hate when i cant help the people i love

“I am both sad and happy and I am still trying to figure out how that could be.”

_the perks of being a wallflower

Ultimately, life comes down to choices and nothing more.

_bruce Gilley

had the big riverdale game tonight...proud cause we scored...3-50. well, im going to bed early cause im beat and dirty...later

so please pray for my grandmother cause she had surgery {knee replacement} on monday, and while she is ok...she is having a hard time getting back to herself...eating, nausea, and some other unmentionables that goes along w/ lengthy hospital stays are some problems at the moment...and her physical therapy is insane...

pray for my mom cause she is spending every waking moment (she isnt working) at the hospital. and its taking a tole on her mentally, just seeing her mother in that much pain when there is nothing she can do to ease it.

pray for me cause im having to try to keep things together and have a job and go to school...i asked my boss if saturday could be my last day and he said no...so, i dont know...but yeah...

my mom definetely paid for my gas tonight.

yay for cool moms!

lightening is pretty...

so when people say things about my friends, i take it really personally. yes, i may need to find better friends, but knowing all the people i know, some of them are bound to drink once in a while...so, the next time you judge me or my friends...well, dont...

if its a bad situation, you might as well make the best of it and laugh

friends are funny

drunk friends are funnier

drunk friends who want to make out w/ you are funniest...

especially when they devise a plan for you to sneak out a window and come to make out w/ them...of course none of this would be happening if he was sober, but it was funny...

so, my schedule is as follows...

early day_eng 4 hon_mrs. james
1st period_hon. economics_coach ondrus
2nd period_hon. calc w/ stats& prob_mata-something
3rd period_business law_mrs. teasley
4th period_teacher's aide_mr. cing
5th period_chamber choir

so that is my year at a glance....i only have like one or two "real classes" everything else is pretty much a joke. so excited about the school year.

so, im trying to get in bed by like 10...cause im going to be a senior tomorrow!!!!! but, i will most likely, stay up reading dorian grey and listening to howie day...but yeah. so, today is the beginning of the end. and next summer, i will be done w/ high school...exciting!

i've also noticed how priorities change as you go from a freshman to a senior...as a freshman, you worry if your teachers are nice, if they give homework, and if they like nap time...as a senior i am more concerned about my teacher being good, cause i am giong to college next year and if i cant have a good background in math and english...i am screwed. (gah, i love mr.cing, he has got to be the coolest teacher ever!)

oh yeah and im going to Coldplay...evan's not going so, its me and chelsea and brandon...so far.

i love cari jennings...i dont know...i have just been thinking about her lately and how i really want to hang out w/ her...but we cant cause we arent gonna get to go to bible study on tuesday!!! grrr....

so, definetely went to elizabeth's classroom today and helped her get ready for school. it was fun and i felt fairly useful. so, thanks to elizabeth for letting me come!

bought some pants at GAP that are too small so i have to go in the morning to get a different size!

i have realized that i write nothing of true value. it almost seems as though i dont have profound thoughts. but, right now, i cant think of super duper profound things to say because i have yet to have a revelation.

[[Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castaways all looking for a home]]
(john mayer_message in a bottle)

i keep getting dizzy when i stand up...but it doesnt hit immediately....it waits until im about 20 steps from anywhere to sit down!!!! ugh...work through the dizziness...

today my and mom got lost in smyrna on the way to michael's but the pictures from there will turn out really good (i think) and they were fun cause we dont intend on buying a ton of them!!!

later, we came home, and then we went to cingular and i bought myself THE MOTOROLA RAZR!!!! oh my gosh! its the cutest phone ever and i love it!! yay! i am really really excited!!

loveyou_bekah

OHMIGOSH...i just at an original size of sweet cream w/ oreos and strawberries..yum yum...frozen strawberries!!!! i took the long way home and saw about a GAZILLION school buses...DCI i assume...i dont know...then, I RACED THIS JEEP CHEROKEE...yeah, i definetely kicked his tooshie...it was so much fun....but yeah...im still a little sad i ate a whole thing of icecream...later!

so last night i hung out w. elizabeth and carrie and they are fun...we went to starbucks and applebee's (but not in that order.) then me and elizabeth went back to her house and we watched the second half of laguna beach (which evan thinks kristen is hott and she's NOT. LC is so much hotter). so, i didnt leave elizabeth's house until 12:30 and mom didnt care. yeah cool. whatever...tonight was church...fun fun. ok bye


** so it is presently 1:44 am....i went to bed about two hours ago but i cannot sleep for ANYTHING...i hate hate hate insomnia. i should call elizabeth cause she says she has the same problem, but i wouldnt want to disturb her in the case that sleep has consumed her....urgh **

yay! yay! yay! i have waited for sooo long! the season premiere of laguna beach comes on tonight...and granted, i have to work (i will watch it tomorrow) i am so SO EXCITED. well i have to go help my mother hang my bulletin board and my crosses...ok bye.

so, we went to west end last night to eat at Houston's...met a guy who asked for my number and i gave it to him. STUPID ME! i have a boyfriend, whom i love and i came hom e and told evan and im pretty sure that he's mad. actually, he's probably just really hurt. i dont know...i wasnt thinking, i made a mistake, i feel horrible. well im going to go...ill figure it out...._bekah

so we all got back from dance camp on Monday...it was fun...really exhausting, but fun. we camp home w/ three trophies and two phaques...13 all-american nominees, 5 all-american dancers and countless ribbons. we were successful...yay!


so, my mother has informed me that i am going to have to quit my job because i am missing out on required activities (i.e. the football/cheerleader/danceteam picnic) i just forgot to ask off and she is freaking out. i dont want to quit cause i dont like asking for money and she thinks i have problems...i would explain more but she reads phusebox and gets angry when i acknowledge the fact that we are not, in fact, a perfect family.


lastly, i am going to the dave matthews concerrt tonight and i think i am excited i havent been to a concert in forever so its gonna be fun. i dont think ive ever been around that many drugs at once, oh well, it will be an experience!

p.s. - i have also been forbidden to read my harry potter book that I BOUGHT...i mean, its my book and i bought it! why cant i read it when i want to...she hasnt forbidden me to read the other 4 books i've read this summer...why start now?

its 4:10 in the morning, and i want to go to sleep...dance camp....blah...