i am going to be different from a lot of the others on here and post on something other than the 4th of july.

God loves us. He is in control. even if things seem horrible, even in our darkest moments...like your heart being broken into 50 billion pieces, a loved one passing away, family problems, friend problems, depression, and any other trial where you feel helpless, hopeless, abandoned, hurt, betrayed, confused, insecure, broken, shameful, alone, lost... God is holding you in his hands. and you may feel like everything around you is crashing down all around you.... you feel your heart breaking into 50 billion pieces, know, please know, that you are alive and well in His hands. He is taking care of you. HE IS FAITHFUL even when we are faithless (2 tim. 2:13), HE IS GOD, that says a lot guys. hello! come on. HE IS GOD. who else can say that and really mean it??? *for louie giglio lovers (who can say that there name is I AM???)* He is the One who wrote this story, the Creator, the Healer, your Savior, your Father, basically, He is everything. He is in control of everything, He will not let you fall out of His hands. He has a hold of you. He loves you!!! and no matter what may come your way remember Him. remember Him even when the waves feel like they are crashing over you. because if you look beyond all that stuff you will see His hand holding yours.

[i am trying not to look at those waves, i am pressing on through the storm. i am alive in His hands. and i am confident that everything will be okay. unwavering faith is what i must have now.]

i hope that everyone had a great 4th (okay so i mentioned it) and a great day today!

2 Cor. 4:8-12

so today a really cool person came home. sarah and i went to pick him up at the ariport. it was not as scary as i thought it would be. it was actually quite fun. we rode on the moving side walk thing, and ate some breakfast. then we made nathan a sign...



photo from rachael

and luckily we found him. so i have been able to hang out with him today! and that makes me very happy! fun times at both wal-marts and bed,bath, and beyond. that is until i got tired...but because nathan has had very little sleep, it got rather entertaining toward the end.

but! everyone is taking a nap now... so i am just sitting at home waiting around. naps aren't a good idea for me. i hope everyone has a great night and a good 4th!

guess what time i got home last night??? ummm about 5:00 am. l-o-n-g trip, but so worth it. it started out with a large bag of cheese puffs, ok, so it really started out with a lot of rain, but i like the cheese puffs a lot better. cheese puffs, orange soda, and three chocolate bars. yeah, those melted. oh well. anyway, so after we got our food, we were off to ohio. we stopped by bethany's grandparents house to eat lunch. they kept offering us all kinds of food. haha. they were so nice! so hours later we arrived in some city, a little past dayton. some people were smart and sat outside the concert by the fountain. if i lived there, i would so do that. howie day went on first, then gavin went on. it was a pretty good show. i got distracted about 80% of the time, due to the interesting people around us. and on the way back comes the best parts in my opinion. if you starbucks lovers ever wished to yourselves, "man, i wish this place was opened 24 hours...", well i went to one!!! oh yeah, a 24 hour starbucks!!! i heard some angels sing in the back ground. it was pretty great. and then i laughed so hard when elizabeth stuck her head out the window at the mcdonalds drive through because of some smells coming from a gas station sandwich. haha. she rolled my window down too. haha. wow. then we stopped to take pictures of the scariest/funniest Jesus statue i have ever seen.



photo from rachael

i am just glad i am already a christian. that would creep me out a bit if i wasn't. wow.

great conversations, big bags of cheese puffs, good music, a 24 hour "heaven", and a really really really big Jesus statue. that basically sums it up. fun times.

well, kids, i hope you have a terrific day!

photo from rachael

so, yep, we went to see andy davis tonight. before that we saw 'war of the worlds', which was weird, but very intense. but back to andy. it was a great show. he played some new songs... he was behind us at one point, and so was matt wertz. it was a great show, but nothing can compare to the first time i saw him. the one thing that made that time so special was missing...

so tomorrow i am off to another concert. i love going to shows. fun times.

for tonight, as tired as i am, i have far too much on my mind, and far too much junk the devil is throwing at me to sleep very well. please pray for me against the many lies that he keeps telling me. insecurity is a terrible thing... my weakness... and he is using it big time against me. ugh. i hate not feeling okay....

...anyway, it is july (it is 1:09am)! finally! wow. crazyness. so much in july! in 19 days my commitment will be complete! so excited because God has brought me soooo far, and i get to go to NYC!!! whoo hoo! i hope everyone has a great day!

laser quest was so much fun! it was my first time, so i didn't to so well, but that is ok because i had fun!

i am super excited about tomorrow night!!! i am going to see andy davis play!!! whoo hoo! i seriously love andy davis, he is basically my favorite singer. and then friday i am going all the way to ohio to see howie day and gavin degraw. which shall be fun as well! oh oh! and some of us are going to 722 on the 19th! which i am excited about because that is the day that my commitment ends, so it will be a fun way to "celebrate" if you want to call it that.

and i figured out tonight a great mystery. if you have ever been on a school bus and wondered, why do the bus drivers bounce up and down... here is an answer. obviously it has shocks under it, but the purpose you ask. well, apparently it makes the ride smoother. smoother??? no thank you, i prefer to be still while driving, mr. bus driver man.

and now i am off to spen time with God and go to bed!!! i need some rest, that migraine today was a sign for that! ugh. i hope everyone has a great day!!!

wow. that is all i have been able to spit out. such a small word to describe all that God has been doing in my life. he has given me such an excitement about so many things. he is changing my heart. and meeting my desire to be passionate again. i have been feeling my heart long to be passionate and God is meeting that desire head on. i can't wait until i finish typing this so i can go pray about all these things that need prayer. i can't wait because i know that God will work in each and every situation! i am so excited to see him move in each one of those situations and in other people. i have been praying that God's spirit would just flow out of me. and man, is it ever! i am beyond excited! all this for Him! wow. and now i get to go pray to Him! whoo hoo! i hope everyone has a wonderful day! i may see some of you tomorrow! i will be at VBS with my new friend tyler (i love that kid!) and my new found love, my little 3 year old boyfriend, lucas! haha! i love little kids!

some of you may have been told growing up to follow your heart. then somewhere along the line, you are told not to trust your heart. but yet so much is centered around the heart. i am currently reading "the sacred romance". i also read "waking the dead" which deals with some of the same issues. when i read "waking the dead" i felt like my heart was awakened. i knew something was missing, and it was my heart. sometimes we are reminded of the verse that says the heart is deceitful above all things. but then we are also told to guard our hearts because they are the wellspring of life. this leaves much confusion for many people, especially if they hear both sides of all this. i just read the first chapter of "the sacred romance" and i was reminded of the wonderful things God taught me last summer. there IS something more to life. everything can feel so empty if your heart is not in it. passion flows from your heart. love flows from your heart. it truly is the wellspring of life. from your heart, from God's heart, everything flows. "it is in our hearts that we first hear the voice of God and it is in the heart that we come to know him and learn to live in his love." when i read that, all i could think is: wow. God speaks to our hearts, we come to know him through our hearts, we believe in him will all our heart... are you starting to see a pattern here? when Jesus spoke to people, he told stories. stories don't just strike up intelligent thoughts in our heads, they touch our hearts. and think about the great commandments. God said to love Him and others with all your heart. if you ever try to live the christian life just by the rules, and never put your heart into it then you are left feeling empty. that is because God want us to live fully, by loving with all our heart, seeking after him with all our heart, being passionate... "our heart is the KEY to the christian life". it started in your heart when you first believed. don't abandon it. guard your precious gift from God. don't be deceived. let love and passion flow from this wellspring of life. let God speak to you. let Him work in your heart.

wow. that is all i can say about that. God is amazing. let your heart be engaged with Him and let that passion just flow.

now i am really going to bed... with a heart transplant.

did i ever tell you guys i love chocolate milk. well, it is true, i do.

i had my usual saturday... being lazy and watching movies. tonight kristen and i went to eat at lasiesta, which was yummy. then we went to the square to take pictures...ok, so i took pictures and made kristen get in some. but, anyway, then we went to see bewitched with some people from church. i left with a headache, not because the movie was terrible. oh no no. see, i usually leave with a headache. and if someone could tell me an explanation for this, i would be very happy...

and i have realized that i have some cleaning to do tomorrow before my parents come home. that party just trashed my house... there is stuff everywhere, like you know, the usual... dog hair, chewies, socks, dog kibbles, and the blanket, well it is no longer laying flat on the floor, it is in a ball...i had a dog party. just kidding. my dogs are just crazy and made a mess. so i get the lovely job of cleaning it all up. joy.

anywho, i am tired and have been lazy on spending time with God these past couple days. so i want and need to spend time with that cool guy that i know. i know Him, the creator of the universe, my Maker, you know, that really cool guy. and He would like to spend time with you too, just to let you know. yep yep. adios mi amigos. have a great night!

sleepless in seattle is a great movie

and i also love those random summer showers with huge rain drops and the aroma they leave behind...summer evenings and nights are pretty much perfect

kristen and i are going to lasiesta (northfield one) around 6:30 if anyone would like to join us. just give me a call and let me know!

yeah, i know, the title basically explained this post. oh well...

lalalalalalalalala

tonight was fun. after doing the whole birthday thing with my family, i went to see sean mcconnel play. he has an amazing voice. fun times using bottles for facial hair, such as beards, uni-brows, and moustaches



photo from rachael

after all that fun stuff, amy and i went to walmart. crazy lines at the place... so then after amy bought her beloved chapstick we headed to the park. i was extremely disappointed however. i did not get to play! i like to play at the park... oh well... so we went on a walk. elizabeth and i were great leaders i believe. so then it was to steak and shake for us cool kids. sarah joined us in our perilous journey. so yeah... that about sums it all up.

tomorrow night the roosevelts are playing at new vision baptist church. it is at 6:30 and costs 5 dollars ( i think!!!). everyone should go, yes everyone in the world! whaahaha! anyway... oh yes! and this weekend my parents are going out of town, and no this is no invitation to come over and bascially destroy my house, this is merely me being pathetic and telling all you wonderful people that if you wish to hang out i am going to be alone and would love to hang out with great people like you!!! *smiles and batts eyes*

now that somebody's delerium rubbed off on me, i am going to bed... so adios mi amigos! i hope you have a wonderful night/day!

it is true, i am another year older...

i had a good birthday yesterday! i enjoyed getting messages from people, cards, calls, text messages, super fun gifts, and i guess even getting sung to by the entire youth group. thank you all for making my birthday extra special, you don't even know how much that meant to me!!!

last nigt i spent the night at amber's. michael was over there for a little bit. he got amber and i frosties and then we swam for a little bit. and "binky" the bat kept swooping at michael's head, which let me tell you was hilarious!!! and then i just got way too cold so my swim time was over. and because of going to bed with wet hair... well you get the horrid picture....

but that is it i guess. thanks again everyone! i hope everyone has a great day!

happy birthday "L"!!!!!

summer nights are perfect

work=boring & long (sometimes... like today)

oh and pretty sure i can only either take off for paint the town or my aunt's wedding! urg! i only need off TWO days for my aunts wedding in delaware. just two! and i want to go to paint the town, which is pretty much a done deal...so i guess i might not being going to delaware which equals conflict

anywho...

tonight was great fun! becca and i went to marble slab and then to starbucks. it is far too cold inside starbucks, the tables were taken outside, so it was to the crime scene area for us! we had a great conversation! then we went to her house to watch a movie. this never happened. let me tell you why: two indecisive girls. not a big deal though...we looked at pictures and talked more! if only i would of hung out with her more before! and now she is leaving in like 2 months! sad. i love you becca!

so yeah, tonight was loads of fun! just exactly what i needed! God knew that would just lift me up so much! praise God for all that he is doing in my life! he totally revealed things to me through becca that i couldn't even see because of being so blind to situations! wow. God. wow. speachless.

it is off to quiet time and sleeping time for me! i hope everyone has a great day!

still super excited about 11 months!!! thank you amber for calling and wishing me a happy 11 months! thanks for knowing how important this day, me and God's day, truly is for me! you are great!!!

anywho, so today, after the nuns and all that jazz, i came home and spent some time with God. during this time a thought occured to me. it is father's day. wow. so i looked up, said "happy Father's day, Daddy." today most definetly your Heavenly Father deserves recognition. and for my dad, i drove up nashville to cook him dinner. it was really nice. i went on a walk down to the railroad tracks with my grandma to take pictures... then here comes my uncle flying up the road in his great big van... hmmmm.... i want to finish taking pictures i think and he is just ruining it...well actually, the thing is, he saved our lives... just a block over a woman walking got shot randomly by some man...so yeah, that was enough picture taking for me. haha. that is east nashville for ya... on the way home i was able to look in my rearview mirror at the perfect sunset. amazing. good music and great art all around me.

so it has been one interesting day all around. church was even super fun because of the guest speaker we had! that made my day. haha. well that is all folks. i bid you farewell for now. don't forget to wish the BEST dad EVER a happy father's day!!!

so you ever just briefly wake up from sleeping, just for a minute, realizing something? like the time or a random thought comes into your mind. well pretty sure that happened this morning... however instead of rolling over and going right back to sleep this persistent thought kept nagging away in my mind and kept me up. it frustrates me when i think too much over things that don't need that much thought in the first place. i have to keep reminding myself it is not a big deal, and it really doesn't matter...oh well... somethings i just simply do not understand....

on a much lighter note, today marks 11 months of no dating!!! God has showed me so much during this commitment! especially this past week. he has really just taken hold of my heart. my prayer for this last month is that i stay focused and finish up strong. i can already feel satan trying to get my attention (this morning for example). so please keep that in your prayers!

well, i must get ready for church! i hope everyone has a great day!

*edit* haha haha haha!!! i just got back from kroger and there were nuns eating ice cream at ritters!!! haha hahah haha! if only i had a camera phone... i attempted to take a picture, but it was in my car driving by trying to be discreet, so it is just their heads, oh well........

photo from rachael



photo from rachael


this was the hottest model in gap-- man, those uneven arms!!! and sarah was lucky enough to hold his hand! fun times!

tonight some of us went to starbucks, walked to the mall and then went to target. it was a lot of fun! sarah and i went to marble slab and then to northfield playground. on the fun road we bumped in to a construction cone which was SUPER fun! (on purpose kids!), but a word of advice, just look for the two unidentified people doing unspeakable crimes in the papers and in the news...trust me it will be there, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon--oh yeah it will be there alright!

well, it tis that time folks. time for me to go. i am sorry. i do realize that i am terribly entertaining and you wish i would write all the time 24/7...haha yeah right. anyway, my good friend in a little place, you might of heard of it, New York City, wants me to watch conan. so i must high tail it to my room to watch. so adios my fans. until tomorrow...

*edit* i have decided that cell phones can be pretty dumb. especially when you can walk all over your house and not get any service!!! hello! i am home! not in the country, not in the middle of the ocean, not up in the air...gah, i'm just at home, sitting in my room!!! "can you hear me now?" NO! i don't have flippin service verizon!!!
...oh oh! now i have service again!!! i wonder how long that will last... not that it is 1:08am anyhow, i guess it doesn't matter this late anyhow...

there is nothing better than walking in to work greeted by little arms wrapping around my legs because they are too short to reach anything else. i love those kids.

apparently, tonight some of us cool kids are going to starbucks around 7:30. i highly suggest that if you have no other plans and think you are cool , then you should come. it will be fun!

wow. i love big stuf. it is amazing.

basically, i went to the beach one day, for like 20 minutes. but i am perfectly fine with that. the rest of my time was spent getting to know people and more importantly restoring my relationship with my love, Jesus. He worked in my heart this week. giving me awesome visions and healing my heart that was so far from Him. the new speaker was really good, and of course Louie was great. and he even spoke to clint DURING the message! it was exciting! and tuesday night worship.... WOW. always the best worship! i love our youth group--tons of dancing! it is one of the most amazing things to open your eyes and see nearly 1500 students and adults raising their hands in praise to their Father. wow. i put some pictures from the trip up, not many though... i took over 100, so i just chose a few for right now.

but, my dog has escaped...and i keep calling her and hearing her, but she will not return. so i must try to get her in and then spend some time with God. i hope that everyone has a great night!

in my quiet times...or any other time during the day really... God keeps asking me "Child, where is your hope?" that i must say is a good question God.

hope:
-To have confidence; trust.
there is even a definitition refering to Christian hope:
-often Hope Christianity. The theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help.

how many times have you gotten so wraped up in lives storms? drowned in the crashing waves below? how many times have you lost your hope--that confident assurance of the FAITH we have in Christ? (hebrews 10:22) i know that for me it seems like it is so easy to do whenever i feel like something "bad" is happening to me. yes, i turn to God, but i feel burdened... i drown, so to speak, in the crashing waves--- get lost in the storm. life isn't going to be easy, that is a given. especially for us christians, we are fighting a spiritual battle daily. BUT, because we are christians we have HOPE. we should know and believe that God is in control. trust Him despite what circumstances bring us down. He takes care of every living thing. and you are far more valuable than the flowers or birds... and He will take care of you. we have victory in Christ!!! that alone should give us hope. we should have confidence that God will take care of us. God is our shield--he will meet all of our needs. let your hope rest not on your circumstances, but on God. always having hope and joy despite what is going on because you know that God is in control and that he truly is God. i love that second defintion. "NOT IMPOSSIBLE...WITH GOD'S HELP" he is God, and anything is possible with Him. keep your eyes locked on Him. never let Him out of your sight.
don't be like the children of darkness by hardening your hearts, live as children of the light and hope. (eph. 4:17-24)

"we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE. and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" -romans 5:3-5

i really don't know if that made any kind of sense at all... but there you go... i just thougt you might like to know what God is trying to teach me.

i hope that everyone has a great night. big stuf is the day after tomorrow... even if it does storm (ok maybe not a hurricane...) then it will still be awesome! it is not about the beach, even though it is beautiful, it is about God. that is why we go to things like that--to experience God. let Him captivate your heart!

photo from rachael

today was fun fun! and the most unexpected thing happened... i got red and little red wavy lines on me! i thought for sure i was dying...and layed there stuned, face down, in the pool until amber pushed me. i know it is crazy...it should definetly be on ripley's believe it or not. just a thought....

last night was so much fun! i love how God can completely change my heart and fill me up with his overwhelming joy!!! the last couple of days have been very difficult, BUT GOD!!! He has been teaching me a lot and healing my broken heart! He is amazing! blue coast was fun...and the ride over there was great too! it is always fun belting out "friends in low places"! after that jarrod, jonathan and i went to starbucks. a lot of mtcs people were there and sarah, rebekah, and eddie were there too! there was a crime scene and all sorts of craziness! rebekah and i spent the night with sarah and it was a lot of fun!!! we played scene it, well kinda did, we sure cheated a lot! but it was fun. we were rather delerious by the end of all that. and i now i am sitting here telling you all this... and getting ready to go to amber's! and then i have to get stuff ready for big stuf!!! whooo hoooo! i hope everyone has a great day!!!

photo from rachael

ok ok finally!!! my internet is now restored after like almost two days with out it. praise God!

anyway... i went to the airport yesterday with the moore's. it was extremely hard. but! [thank you nathan for making me feel a little better by giving my long lost friend, mr. moose! that was great! and not only thank you for that but thank you for all the memories and good times in the boro...sitting under the stars, andy davis & mustard dragons, playing catch, picnics, movie nights, playing games, late night talks, playing on playgrounds, silliness, randomness, the rain, pushing me to be better, being patient with me, appreciating me, laughing at me in a good way for being delerious or just plain silly, starbucks, understanding me, that look, waiting, and all that jazz.]

last night instead of going to the hampton's house we all met up at thomas's baseball game. man, some of those parents get REALLY invovled in the game... it was rather scary at times.

so yeah, work was far more involved then my normal cleaning thing. they are actually teaching me things now. so i will know how to care better for special needs children. it is kinda stressful now, but i guess i will get the hang of it.

well, i gotta get ready for church. and then two more days and it is off to big stuf!!! yay! i hope that everyone has a great day!

[i am a child of the light...so i must hope]

well...

i finally won a game of scene it. yay for jonathan and i!!! i also had home-made ice cream!!! oh, and i got some cool shirts!!! always fun times at the moore house. love it.

i am getting up bright and early to go to the airport. i took some medicine to help me sleep tonight... but because it is so late, i know that i will still have the effects in the morning. i guess that is what starbucks is for....

well buh bye

[i'm going to miss you]

i love it when it just randomly starts raining for a little bit during the day in the summer months (ok ok i know it is not summer yet, but you get my point). i like to just listen to it fall...

didn't sleep worth anything last night. too much on my mind= no sleep and a headache.

saturday is big stuf! i love big stuf! it is amazing. however, we have a new speaker this year... i hope he is good. though, do not be discouraged all of you past big stuf kids, louie is still gonna be there... just not stuart hall.

i feel like watching a movie... yep, i think i might just do that. i hope that everyone has a terrific day. seek after God and glorify Him with your life. adios mi amigos!

*edit* watching home videos... the old times, the good times, the best times. love it. i always had that old video camera in my hand making something. ah great times.

tonight i got treated to all sorts of fun things... due to an absence on my real birthday (june 22nd!!!), i got an early bithday suprise. we had a little picnic, went to a carnival, watched a movie, and just talked... one of the greatest nights. [i never got suprises before you]

sandy, the dog, yep, she is in love with me

well, now that i officially feel like there are little spiders crawling all over me... i think i will go to bed. and for those of you still up, you can always go outside look up to the stars, realizing just how small you are and just how BIG God is. great quiet time right there. God is amazing--- and that doesn't even begin to describe him.

[beautiful isn't a bad description--- in the english language that is one of the few words that even comes close... and that still doesn't even measure up]