July 11 2005
i miss the ditch. the tunnel we used to escape into. away from everyone else's uncertain dispoistion. and it was the way you took my hand...i was scared. but i wanted it more than anything.

the way i could wake up in warmth of sunlight...bliss.
when we could spend
days. on. end.
in each other's presence...
in the good and bad of one another.
we could fly if we would of tried.
maybe we did?
-but then again. we remeber most of all:

that all the flying we did came crashing down.

and we burnt.
we disintegrated almost to our bones.

but time changes.
and heals.
yet...
how i'll continue to focus on the unattainable.
oh, but how the memories feel my idealist head.
and. I.
I knew then that i would wait until the end of a hell created was over.
and i did.

here i am.
i love you.