I am SO tired. I had a scary and exhausting night last night after church.

And then today is exactly three weeks until graduation. We got our cap and gowns. I'm very excited.

In the scheme of things I am very very very very very tired, overwhelmed, stressed, and busy.

Hope you guys are well.

Today I got home from work just as the sun was setting and I went out to my back deck and sat with knees curled up on the swing and just cried.

I cried because I'm more blessed than I ever deserve. God is so good to me and I'm so unworthy of His love or for Him even being in my life.

He shows me everyday in some many ways of how much He really loves me. He's....words can't even do Him justice.

I'm at work and have SO much work to get done by the time I leave. I feel so overwhelmed I want to SCREAM! You should see the amount of paper I have to file and the amount of item numbers I have to enter into the computer. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I had two tests today....yeah...

I have so much to do and so little time. It's almost the end of April and I haven't even started on my graduation invitations...

Someone please rescue me...I fear I may lose my sanity....but then again I may have already lost it....

My random list of beautiful things.....

1. Having God's love and forgiveness.....it's a beautiful thing.

2. OREOs and Milk.....it's a beautiful thing.

3. Finally doing what you should do without fear of other people's opinions.....it's a beautiful thing.

4. Sipping tea on the back deck while watching the sunset.....it's a beautiful thing.

5. Driving down a long country road with the windows down, hand out the window, and the music blaring....it's a beautiful thing.

6. Having kids run up to you, surround you, and hug you just because they are so excited to tell you what happened to them during the past week.....it's a beautiful thing.

7. Rocking a baby or little child asleep and having their head fall asleep on your shoulder or have their hand clasped around a finger.....it's a beautiful thing.

8. Learning those life lessons to help you grow as a person....it's a beautiful thing.

9. Loving with all you have......it's a beautiful thing.

10. Celebrating the small things in life just because you can....it's a beautiful thing.

Have you ever done something or I guess in my case didn't do because you were nervous?

Twice?

Ugh.

I think the best way I could describe my life would be to say I'm tired and I'm burnt out on a lot of things....practically everything. I need a break. I wish I could take a long road trip.....just pull out of my driveway and drive for days and days....with only myself and my CD player to keep me company.....and of course you can't forget the haunting memories........

This song describes me......

Not Ready to Make Nice~ Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as ...... and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as.......
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

NO. It's not going to happen.....

...........

It's just can't.....

So today has been interesting and fun. I won't go into much details.

I'm at work right now and bored to death. I have to close tonight...by myself.

I have a lot coming up.

And I keep getting so much stuff from MTSU in the mail and none of it makes that much sense so I'm going to the Business Office tomorrow to sort everything out. Fun.

My Marybeth

Today just completely made me smile from ear to ear. I couldn't stop grinning.

Life can be so unpredictable.....so amazing...so wonderful.

And God has His ways of sending people to make life so much more beautiful and exciting.

And you know.....it's such a wonderful and beautiful surprise.

"Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's such a surprise." ~Under the Tuscan Sun

Today has been more wonderful than I could ever describe. I loved being at church.  As I was sitting in Children's Church with a child in my lap and my arms wrapped around two of my favorite kids I was awed. And I would look at the kids sitting beside me and feel the love God has for them......because I love them too. I don't think I could ever say just how much children have impacted my life and taught me how to grow. Each one is so beautiful in their own little ways.

I am so honored, thankful, and humbled by what God did for me 2,000 years ago. And the best way to say it is....."HE IS RISEN!"

Now I have to study for a test tomorrow and I want to go for a long walk on my road reflecting on today, God, and life.

Tonight I'm going to watch the Passion of the Christ. Tomorrow is work after school.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Easter surrounded by all of your loved ones.

I love everything that is going on right now. Work yesterday was fun. My boss is amazing and my job fit right into what I was looking for. Plus she even gave me Wednesdays off. YAY. And I have all the hours I need.

I've been jogging/walking on my road, either early in the morning or right before the sunset and I love it. It's wonderful "God time." I literally have conversations with Him while walking. I imagine my neighbors must think I am crazy but it's wonderful. I feel energized and happy.

I have work today and then after I get off I have to rush home because we are celebrating Easter and my niece's birthday with my ENTIRE family. It should be interesting.

I hope life is going well for all of you.

I can't stop SMILING. :-) :o)

Life is wonderful, tiring, busy, and at times complicated. A lot going on. A lot I don't want to say.

I'm content for the first time in a long time.

35 days until graduation.

Work tomorrow from 9:30 until 7:00.

Happy EASTER!

Last night I felt as if I was going to to explode due to stress...but everything is fine now. Ahh....stress....it comes and goes...

So this is my life:

Wake up at 6:15. At school by 7. Leave school at 2:30. At work by 2:45. Leave work at 7:15. (Work is wonderful btw). Eat a quick dinner. Run for about three miles and then work out with weights. Shower. Homework for about 3-4 hours. Bed. REPEAT.

As busy and stressful as life can be...I love it. I'm finally learning time management....something that has taken me a long time to learn.

God provides. Duh. :-) :o)

"Lord, help prune away my suspicions and self-absorption and see the world around me with Your eyes, not mine; to be slow to judge, quick to love, slow to criticize, quick to tell of Your love- just as You were and are with me." ~Unknown

Learn From Great Bible Personalities

If you are impatient, sit down and talk to Job. If you are just a little strong-headed, go and see Moses. If you are tired and afraid, take a good look at Elijah. If there is no song in your heart, listen to David. If you feel cold and lonely, get the beloved disciple John to put his arm around you. If your faith is weak, read about the apostle Paul. If you are getting lazy, listen to James. If you are losing sight of the future, climb up the stairs of Revelation and get a glimpse of the promised land. ~Author Unknown

I feel as if I'm trying so hard right now to put so many things behind me.

There are so many things I'm trying to sort through....so many things I'm trying to understand.

Where do I begin? I feel lost in a sea of thoughts I can't escape.

"Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know"

Okay. So. God has definitely given me a lot of surprises and blessings in the past week or so and they only keep getting better...

First, he blesses me with a job and it only took the first place I went to and the first day I tried.

Second, he blesses me with another scholarship for college

Third, I found out today that my sister is going to have another baby. How crazy is that?

I can't BELIEVE it. The baby is due November 5th. Wow....

I WON ANOTHER SCHOLARSHIP FOR $1,000!!!!!!

So now that makes three scholarships I've received to go towards college. This one is called the Comcast Leaders and Achievers Scholarship...and I was supposed to be notified last week but I wasn't so I didn't think I got it...but it came in the mail today. I ran from my mailbox to my car screaming and jumping up and down....I flew down my driveway and did another kind of dance and called my mom.

Even though I already have enough money for college I feel so blessed to have received it. This has increased my happiness level...which I didn't think could be done already.

*smiles*

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God has blessed me so much lately...I don't deserve any of it. I'm speechless.

I wish I could find the right words to ever completely explain what I mean or how I feel....

"Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your...
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know ya do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along"

I had a really rough morning with my allergies today. My eyes this morning were so puffy that it was hard to open them. I'm basically doped up on allergy medicine. Stupid allergies. Stupid pollen.

Work at the Peanut Gallery starts this week. I'm excited.

School starts back tomorrow. Joy. I have a paper due Friday that I haven't even started on.

I've officially become obessed with running and working out. We have a room in my house that has a treadmill and a workout bench. I'll run/speed walk a mile and then workout with weights for awhile and so on. I'm in love with it. I do it everyday....I started out doing two miles and now four....if I can find the time I would love to go six a day.

A lot going on in my life that I'm not ready to share yet but I will eventually....when the timing is right.

I adjure you, daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up, nor awaken love, until it so desires.  ~Song of Solomon 8:4

I look like a clam....I was outside for about 7 hours yesterday and my face got burnt...really burnt...now it's all swollen and puffy. How lovely....

Alicia and I walked 15 miles yesterday at the Greenway.

I got a job at the Peanut Gallery Toy Store over by Jason's Deli and Marble Slab. I'm happy because the owner is wonderful, sweet, and gave me the perfect schedule to work with and I start next week.

God is amazing and proves to me over and over and over that He has so many wonderful surprises in store.

It's an amazing feeling to know I'm right where I'm supposed to be in life.