Crushes.

That’s how everything begins.  A glance, a touch that sparks emotion.  It sends the signal to your brain that is electric.  And then your brain sends a signal to your heart that makes you feel warm and fuzzy.  It starts out so small, but it can develop into so much more…

The sustained eye contact that sends messages back and forth.  It makes those dusty butterflies in your stomach shake of their wings and flutter.  The lump in your throat rises.  The red in your cheeks shows off is rosy hue.  Your legs weaken, you don’t know what to do with your hands, and suddenly you care about how you look.  

The accidental touch that sends chills up your spine.  It makes you stop and indulge.  Makes you turn and think, “Did…did that…did that really happen—to me?  Wow.”  Savor every memory.  You look over at them and everything else disappears.  The hairs on the back of your neck stand upright.  

The look, the feel that everything’s alright.

It grows on you.  The comfort you feel when you’re around them.  Knowing you’ll always have someone to hold you tight, to make you feel complete.  Someone you can talk to for hours or sit with in silence forever.  The dependence begins.

Mutual habits begin to form, things are understood.  You feel secure in anything—with them.  When you are without the other, you aren’t the only one that notices.  You delight yourself in the knowledge that when they are gone, you’ll get to see them soon.  You talk until the early morning about anything and everything.  You begin to learn love.

And then they are gone.

The problem is that the feeling that you felt and came so naturally isn’t.

And you know that whenever that one person talks to you, those same butterflies dust off their wings once again and make you weak.  Even though you know you shouldn’t, you give them trust as if nothing had happened, and you hope that tomorrow is better than today.


My butterflies were dusted off this weekend.



::b