(not a word but sound it as if it were)

I haven't touched it in quite a while but I know excatly how to use it. I haven't felt the rush in the longest time but when I picked it up there it was.

Slow is Smothe 

Smothe is Fast.

The only thing that is allowed to go through your mind. Other than the prayer to god that you get it right. 

Not moving until you see the white in their eyes.

Guiding your finger slowly into position making sure not to be noticed.

Picking it up and praying to god for acruacy and speed.

Then Paintball...lol I love paintball and man sunday was the first time I have palyed in a while. lol. kinda gay blog but I miss it.  

It is incredible how strong one can pretend to be.

Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true.-Buddha.

Hey you guys, I was riding in the car last night around 8 and the sun had just gone down when this song came one. I thought it was so awesome because you could tell which way was east and west (if you are like me and couldn't do that already.) Part of the sky was this awesome blue and the other was almost darker than navy blue. I think this song came on at the most perfect time becuase I was going into this mellow mood and then Landon Pigg threw me into it. Well I hope you all enjoy "Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg just as much as I did.

When meeting someone all it really takes for me to decide if I like someone is one hand shake. Maybe not the best...maybe judginga book by its cover but that is just kinda what I do. I mean that is just my first impression. Ok so...

    1. I look to see if they look me in the eye. If so that means they have given repect which means they actually care.

    2. I feel their hand. Rough hands mean they work and aren't afraid to get their hands dirty.  Which means they are worth something.

    3. I look to see how they hold them selves. If they have good posture of not. Which means that they do or do not care about things. Or their mood.

    4. I look at the expression on their face. This shows their normal out look. If they are a jerk or or if they are just laid back. 

    5. Then I see how strong their hand shake is. If it is firm then they are confident. If loose then they are scared or held back.

 

So those are 5 steps to becoming more like me...lol...or just being a jerk who looks at first apperances.  

Well I know I am a little late. Pretty good song by a great group called Bullet for My Valentine. Think about some of the things that you just really can't stand....I bet it is because of yourself. Well at least mine were. "All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)" by Bullet For My Valentine. enjoy

You are the one who makes me want to fight

but you are the one who holds my hand before I pick up my rifle.

You are the one who makes me feel alive

but you are the one who absolutly kills me.

You are the one who makes me want to change

but you make me want to be the exact same person.

You are the one that makes me hate the world

but you are the one who shows me the beauty.  

it was supposed to have this song.

Wow so like I thought I had this perfect thing planned out. Erin was going to come over tonight and meet my mom. Then tomorrow mom and I were going to head to N.C. My old "home." Well everything kinda got screwed up. Because of ice I will not be able to see Erin or my mom tonight. My mother got stuck out side of Memphis and is in a hotel for the night. She will be picking me up tomorrow at 8ish. Arriving in NC much later than previously planned. Erin did not get to come over because of ice as well. Kind of dissapointing but I guess that is life. I am some what tired though of letting myself get excited or hopes up about something. It has happened too many times and I am annoyed at being let down. I don't understand I had such a high gaurd but eventually I let it down...silly. I told myself that there is no reason to be hurt because of a person, still is. I won't let it happen again though.

 

note: not the song of the week.  

Pretty Pointless and not that worth your time. God and I have had a kind of weird relationship. I am not completly sure where I am at with him all the time. I am not talking about if I am saved or not but just who he is and who I am. I never mention God much at all during the day and I am fine with that. I don't call myself christian, because I hate most christians. They are so frigging judgemetnal, hypocritical, fake, and liars. The best part about it is that they don't even notice it. I know i just describbed a lot of my christian friends. But any way this is not a rant. God and I have just kinda been like two really good friends that grew apart. We talk about hanging out more but then I just blow it off. Truth is I didn't care all that much. Now I see and understand that God wasn't just wasting air when he said "hey lets get together some time." It took a lot of pain to realize that. Now I am being pushed to be this leader that I know I can be and I now understand why God wanted to hang out more. God has this certain will that WILL get done. I realized that he will try to prepare you for what is going to happen but if you don't listen you will have to prepare yourself, because it is going to happen. Before and really still, I won't talk about God. I know that I am not really at the place to be a representative to him, not yet. I have been changing like crazy to get there. Ya know I learned that it is not good at all to be a different person in different places. A lot of you who see me at school know that I am not the same at school. I say a lot of things I would not normallly say but that is what God has really been working with me about. With a little more work and sweat I will be the man God wants me to be.

Yes some of you have noticed that I have a cowboy hat, I like it. I just bought it monday and I love waring it I need to get it fixed a little more to my liking though. It is fun to mess with. Tell me what you think about my new cowboy hat.

photo from austincaresnot

Really like this song. There are a few parts where I am just like, wow I have heared a lot better from the drums then I am like, WOW nice drums. I am in no way better than any of them at probably anything but that is my opinion and I am sharing it. Well please enjoy Avenged Sevenfold's "Unholy Confessions"

There are very few things that bring me to tears these days. Infact only about 3: "Saving Priviate Ryan," A good Scrubs episode, and this last spot is open to whatever happens to do it at the time (wich is a very narrow spot). Now as you can tell I don't have a tear in my eyes very often, why is that you ask? It is not because I am a guy because I know plenty of guys that cry, and I am one of them...if it fits my requirement. But this time it was because I let my self get caught off gaurd in a deep wonder. I wonder if that gatorade and one can of soup will keep them both warm, I wonder if they will get what they need to make it through the night on the side of the street. I wonder if they really tried in life or if this is just a cop-out. I wonder how long it will take for another person like us to stop and give what they have. It doesn't have to be much but do a selfless act for once you self-rightous pricks. Maybe that is why I don't have tears in my eyes as much, this world full of disgusting, and self centered peices of crap. I can't believe some people.

so I feel the need to tell you all who are going to be sick in the future and love the effects of Nyquill but hate the taste as much as I do, do not, ever, wash Nyquill down with orange juice. Rooky mistake. I wanted to throw up more than I did before. now all of you, rejoice in my pain!

A little hardcore but love the song, I know thatsome parts are hard to understand but they have some amazing lyrics. If you get a chance to look them up do it. Seriously they put some thought in your head, plus they are presented in this form and it is just awesome. Another clean Avenged Sevenfold song. Enjoy.

 

"We all know what to do but no one does it.
Now this time has passed and full of regret."

 

"To me you were my life.
To me you were my soul companion.
Now you are so far away.
Nothing can take away the times and the memories we had."

 

now just one more

 

"Two in my heart have left me a while, I stand alone.
When they get back, it won't be the same."

I found the best shirt ever. I must have it! I am going to order this some time in the near future. "I would rather be waterboarding"  

 

 

http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/square-med-wtr.gif

This is a letter to her and all of her majesty,
To show my appreciation for all of the help she has given me.
This is a letter to her and all of her majesty,
To ask what happened to such a beautiful woman.
This is a letter to her and all of her majesty,
To ask why her beautiful long hair is up in a bun.

What happened to this wonderful “person”
Whose beauty stretched from sea to sea?
How could “someone” so great and wonderful
Take such a hard fall?
Does anyone know what happened?
Does anyone want to admit it?
I think I know, bad direction,
Bad things influencing her,
And worst of all, the things living inside her
Ate her alive, slowly destroying her.

Once a beautiful, majestic, sturdy, and powerful woman,
Is now what seems to be a feeble falling old lady?
How will she get back on her feet?
How can she regain control of her mind?
Only by relinquishing control can she be well again,
She cannot hold this ground as one person.
Power must be spread out, let the hands handle things,
Let the brain think, let the heart love,
And let her feet move forward,
At least from this defensive stance she has taken.

Now that the correct parts have control,
Now, she can be able to walk like the person she was,
And have control and power that she once was.
She was feared but love, caring but stern.
Faithful but reasonable and she was strong and unforgiving.
She is America.

This song is awesome...it is one of the Avenged Sevenfold songs that don't cuss, pretty nice. I really like their music but some of it after listening to I must repent to God for....lol. They are with out a doubt great musicians, I don't see how anyone could say differently. If you actually listen to the lyrics I am sure you will like this song.

"The fighting rages on and on, to challenge me you must be strong.
I walk your land but don't belong, two million soldiers can't be wrong"

Some parts may sound like Avenged Sevenfold is againts soldiers, I don't think.  

Yes I know before I said that I had lost the future I planned out perfectly, but I talked to someone who works for the gonvener and she said that I could compile a bunch of letters and what not and maybe still get what I wanted...hazzah