so i guess i really fucked up this time...fucked up with sean....gosh idk where the fuck that's goin....i fucked up at home. and i fucked up with myself..gosh i guess i'm not as strong as i thought that i was...nor will i ever be...why the fuck does life have to be soo hard and complicated or maybe i make it complicated...why do i make it soo complicated...gosh....i guess i'll just have to live with all this shit..i wish there werent soo much shit..and i wish i hadnt fucked up this big..

As we lay there together, I turn away,
afraid that you'll see the tears that
are about to form in my eyes.
You ask of anything's wrong.
I smile, I kiss you, and tell you that I'm fine
but I can't stop thinking about how much
I'll miss you when you leave again this time.

god how true can taht really be.....